The breakup of the GOP and Yoko Ono....I am sorry I meant Sarah Palin.

First the Alaska governor and 2008 GOP vice presidential nominee was invited to be the keynote speaker at the party's annual congressional fundraising dinner.

Then she was not the keynoter, replaced by former House speaker Newt Gingrich.

Then she was invited to speak, again. Then that invitation was rescinded.

Then she let word slip out that she was unhappy about the whole state of events and was thinking of not attending at all.

Then -- after much public bickering between Palin loyalists and party officials -- she finally agreed to come, speaking slot or no.

OW! Is anybody else dizzy from that description? Well if you think THAT is bad you should try living in the state that she governs!

This much is clear: Palin was invited to be the keynote speaker at the dinner. What happened next, however, is a matter of hot dispute. Party officials say she accepted and reneged. Palin loyalists say she was merely mulling the offer. Either way, the party moved on and invited Gingrich to be the substitute keynoter.

For believability I have to go with the party officials on this one.

In recent days, Palin was reinvited to the event, but that invitation was rescinded over concerns that the darling of the conservative base would steal the spotlight from Gingrich. Palin, reportedly angered that the party establishment was slighting her again, let it be known that she might not come to the event at all -- leading to a day of recriminations in the blogosphere before a settlement was reached.

And that my friends is what it looks like when a grown woman throws a tantrum that would shame a three year old.

Finally, a compromise of sorts was reached: Palin would attend the event, and be given a seat of honor, but would not have a speaking role.

Fine! You can sit at the grown up table! Now stop screaming and kicking your feet!

Instead, she would be speaking to a much bigger audience, having taped an interview with Fox News's Sean Hannity (viewership in excess of 3 million). It was scheduled to air at 9 p.m. -- exactly the moment Gingrich was scheduled to begin his keynote address.

How does that knife feel between your shoulder blades there Newt? Would you say it hurts more or less than the dull pain you get every time you have to talk about Sarah Palin?

Excerpts of the speech were leaked to the Drudge Report during the day, including her complaint about Obama's spending and his proposed government ownership of General Motors. "Kind of a 'We told ya so,' " the governor said.

She kind of reminds of that girl who did not get invited to the prom so she dresses up in a low cut dress and high heels and tries to get all of the boys to pay attention to her instead of their dates.

And later you find her in a parked car giving a hand job to the captain of the football team. Pure class.

At the convention center, reporters scanning the ballroom for a Palin sighting didn't have to look hard. After the dinner guests had taken their place at the 200 tables, Palin, wearing black, took an unannounced stroll across the stage, accompanied by Gingrch and their spouses. As a few in the crowd noticed the quartet's trip down the runway, a wave of applause and a few whistles spread across the immense hall.

Maybe they were hoping she would fall on her ass. Well I bet SOME of them were.

Several speakers ignored the elephant in the room, but when Sen. John Cornyn of Texas, head of the Senate Republicans' election effort, rose to speak, he mentioned Palin. "Thank you for being here with us tonight," he began. The ovation in the hall drowned out the next words.

Ass kisser!

Gingrich, a skilled politician, knew what to do. "I also want to thank Governor Palin and Todd for coming tonight and being part of this," he said. Recalling the two couples' joint walk at the start of the dinner, he said they were greeted coming off the stage by Sen. John McCain, the GOP's presidential candidate last fall. "I felt, looking at John McCain and Sarah Palin, this country would have been amazingly better off had they been in the White House," he said.

Yeah he would feel better about the country all right. But only so long as he was absolutely certain that McCain was in good health and would make it through his entire term.

"So John, hows the old ticker? Been to the doctor lately? Oh you should not eat that for lunch that is full of fat, how about a nice salad and a handful of vitamins instead?"