tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post3843708345094317457..comments2024-03-27T01:27:21.576-08:00Comments on The Immoral Minority: Iowa Republican legislator accused of sexually abusing his incapacitated wife in her nursing home bed. Gryphenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356503547155430235noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-38434605771445028552015-04-07T15:58:01.459-08:002015-04-07T15:58:01.459-08:00So many if not most of the comments on here make m...So many if not most of the comments on here make me absolutely SICK! It was the guys the wife whom he loved and cared for! Is it a crime to love your wife and be intimate with her even though her memory has failed her? The article mentions nothing of a past history of spousal abuse. Can you honestly say that he raped her...........Secondly I researched Iowa laws surrounding invasion of privacy.........Here is what I found: There is no set definition, but examples of types of intrusive conduct can be drawn from various legal authorities. These examples include photographs or video of people in places where they'd expect privacy, such as bathrooms, hospital rooms, and bedrooms. Taking into consideration Iowa's state law's has this husband's privacy been invaded and possibly his wife's privacy as well? Why did the care facility have surveillance camera(s)? What was the need for the camera(s)? .........I think this will be a very tough case for a jury to decide. For those of you that think it was rape, what if this person was your dad? Would you still call it rape, or would you be okay with it because it was your own father? Reverse the scenario and think how you would act then...........Lastly, until you have walked a mile in someone's shoes you can't judge them. Ultimately is up to god to judge him, but for a jury and judge to decide his fate..........Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-59967155953451641342014-08-25T20:53:55.477-08:002014-08-25T20:53:55.477-08:00If this man had done this with a stranger with the...If this man had done this with a stranger with the same condition, of course it would be rape, but in this case, because it is his wife with whom he has had sex for many years, he and she both may have been trying to continue as normal a connection as they could sustain, despite what the "powers that be" told them.<br /><br />"Many years!!" They hadn't even been married for 7 years as stated in other articles. <br /><br />The man raped her and put his own selfish needs in front of the needs and care of his wife. His behavior is reprehnsible.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-1936812609418535872014-08-21T02:26:40.149-08:002014-08-21T02:26:40.149-08:00The Repubs corner the market on perverted-ness, th...The Repubs corner the market on perverted-ness, that is common knowledge. The list is long.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-61178085503288258502014-08-20T20:28:34.777-08:002014-08-20T20:28:34.777-08:00Exactly. He probably didn't care what her thou...Exactly. He probably didn't care what her thoughts were prior to her incapacitation, so why would it matter to him after? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-13384093374416838642014-08-20T17:02:58.411-08:002014-08-20T17:02:58.411-08:00Rape is Rape. This man put his selfish needs befor...Rape is Rape. This man put his selfish needs before the care of his wife, who could not consent to the act of sex. What this woman needed was to have him by her side, holding her hand, spending quality time with her in her moment of need. Someone should fish his undies from the hamper and make him choke on polished cotton. What a selfish jerk. What makes this "third degree" and not "First degree rape", he KNEW she couldn't consent, but dammit, he has his blue pills and will use them as he sees fit. Anita Winecoolernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-66508075899641189302014-08-20T16:54:53.819-08:002014-08-20T16:54:53.819-08:00Why isn't there a line of family and friends w...Why isn't there a line of family and friends waiting their turn. Sorry to sound so disgusting, but these folks have their heads up their butts. What part of "unable to give consent" don't they get? I can't help but think there's a drug company that sells erectile dysfunction pills hoping his prescriptions don't become public knowledge. Anita Winecoolernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-87625528200004937852014-08-20T16:51:47.262-08:002014-08-20T16:51:47.262-08:00There's nothing about this even close to "...There's nothing about this even close to "third degree", like you said, first degree forcible rape. This is exactly like raping a child. Anita Winecoolernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-26691604101203311312014-08-20T14:52:30.424-08:002014-08-20T14:52:30.424-08:00The patient was probably very scared and worried w...The patient was probably very scared and worried what that type of creep would do to her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-27590888431527437922014-08-20T13:40:09.901-08:002014-08-20T13:40:09.901-08:00I feel sorry for the pets in the house as well. I...I feel sorry for the pets in the house as well. If he was so fucked up he didn't know what he was doing, how'd he get it in? Sick shit.vegaslibnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-91746838767527978112014-08-20T10:20:26.731-08:002014-08-20T10:20:26.731-08:00So you would be okay with a spouse raping you as y...So you would be okay with a spouse raping you as you were unconscious after surgery or if you were in a coma? That is the comparison, not wanting to hold hands.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-33057074528544798202014-08-20T09:27:40.740-08:002014-08-20T09:27:40.740-08:00He should have called Todd Palin's Escort Serv...He should have called Todd Palin's Escort Service.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-35633172061260531772014-08-20T09:10:26.121-08:002014-08-20T09:10:26.121-08:00The fact that the nursing home staff went the rout...The fact that the nursing home staff went the route of informing him of her inability to consent to sex,and the fact of them asking for charges plus the fact that she died not that long after tells me there is more to the story. Her medical conditions that lead to her death may have made it abuse due to what ever pain or uncomfortableness she had. Perhaps he was unwilling to put his wife's health before his sexual satisfaction.Perhaps he was causing trauma to her .In any case,for this to have gone this far,it was not some fairy tale story like you suggest.<br /><br />Oh,by the way,if you and your family are so concerned over the nursing home care of your father being impersonal,I have 2 suggestions based on my 86 year old mother's care. Get involved and discuss your fears with the proper staff,or take him home to live with you and you take personal care of him. Trust me,you will be more understanding of the people who dedicate their lives to caring for the victims of Alzheimers.mommomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07858256137692308493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-91897460163496965432014-08-20T08:47:19.157-08:002014-08-20T08:47:19.157-08:00It seems to me this more about the religious right...It seems to me this more about the religious right where the man has the right to his wife's body, with or without her consent. It is part of the marriage vows which uses the word "obey" to mean "do what I want and to hell with you". This is not a political POV but a religious rights POV I believe. I bet she was never allowed a headache or any other reason to say "no". What he did is awful and hateful, but fully within his rights as he sees them. I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure he felt that he was only doing what marriage allowed HIM! He owned his wife :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-51394696960215975722014-08-20T08:41:10.579-08:002014-08-20T08:41:10.579-08:00That patient should have called the nurse while it...That patient should have called the nurse while it was happening...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-56241130765147398432014-08-20T08:32:30.624-08:002014-08-20T08:32:30.624-08:00Thankfully for his wife, she passed away earlier t...Thankfully for his wife, she passed away earlier this month...<br /><br />That said: for those bible thumpers, a wife is there to submit to the husband's every whim and will. So, he did nothing wrong in his eyes and his bible interpretation!<br /><br />In my eyes, he is a huge pile of excrement, and should be dealt accordingly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-12086121705212404402014-08-20T08:25:20.094-08:002014-08-20T08:25:20.094-08:00What do you expect? Republican == All About Me.What do you expect? Republican == All About Me.Balzafiarnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-65787535077482428382014-08-20T08:09:01.353-08:002014-08-20T08:09:01.353-08:00The patient in the next bed behind the curtain sho...The patient in the next bed behind the curtain shouldn't have had to endure hearing that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-4081873612528422032014-08-20T07:24:45.186-08:002014-08-20T07:24:45.186-08:00This isn't your Dad. This woman was being rape...This isn't your Dad. This woman was being raped. And if your Dad is somewhere they aren't caring for him properly, get him moved. This is no different than if he had raped your father, after she was declared incompetent she is no longer his consenting wife. Think a bit, and not about your Dad....think why they would have gone through all the hassle of getting a woman with advanced dementia declared incompetent? Maybe to protect her from suffering through rapes and going through the trauma's each and every time? Why else would they bother, but to protect her? It is beyond disgusting and I cannot believe you are defending this rapist by worrying about HIS needs, Oh My Dog, I cannot believe you are defending a rapist.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-56491689238111882014-08-20T07:19:38.473-08:002014-08-20T07:19:38.473-08:00I cannot believe people are looking past the fact ...I cannot believe people are looking past the fact this woman was declared incompetent and could NOT give consent. <br />Why would a nursing home, and most likely social services get her declared incompetent? They do not do that in most cases, it isn't necessary unless they need to protect the patient from something and in this case it was her own husband. I imagine she was terrified every time she was raped. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-70597332834813948912014-08-20T07:14:45.560-08:002014-08-20T07:14:45.560-08:00Did you miss the part where she had been determine...Did you miss the part where she had been determined 8 days before of being UNABLE to give consent? This probably terrified her every time he raped her otherwise they would not have to have gotten her termed incompetent by the courts. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-55953295148554512332014-08-20T06:49:30.974-08:002014-08-20T06:49:30.974-08:00Hmm, must be more of that "compassionate cons...Hmm, must be more of that "compassionate conservatism " I''ve been hearing oh-so-much about.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-72557643689225351842014-08-20T06:11:16.717-08:002014-08-20T06:11:16.717-08:00Alzheimer's has turned a close friend's mo...Alzheimer's has turned a close friend's mother who was much more stoic in the past into a very affectonate and expressive woman. She has very poor memory of recent event and cannot be left on her own. The extended family are caring for both parents. What stresses her out more than anything is the absence of her husband. They are always together sitting next to each other and cuddling. He has mild dementia. If the family could not care for this couple and the wife was placed in a home, I could see a similar scenario as the couple in the article. This is a very sad situation but without knowing the couple, how can we judge. I think his political affiliation set the tone for this post. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-15793684190566690392014-08-20T05:58:27.193-08:002014-08-20T05:58:27.193-08:00Too sad and too complex to offer condemnation in t...Too sad and too complex to offer condemnation in this situation.<br />Though my father does not have Alzheimer's, he is in a nursing home with partial dementia, due to Parkinson's.<br />This has been the saddest, most difficult time for both my parents, as they have been lovingly together for the past 69 years and I know that one of my father's chief causes of depression is that he is incapable of "being of value"- that he is unable to care for himself and care for my mother.<br />I have also seen how the staff at the home neglects to care for him as an individual and are very quick to ignore his moments of lucidity and personal needs. In other words, their assessments are not always accurate or trusted by those who know him best.<br />If this man had done this with a stranger with the same condition, of course it would be rape, but in this case, because it is his wife with whom he has had sex for many years, he and she both may have been trying to continue as normal a connection as they could sustain, despite what the "powers that be" told them.<br />I think he would also be criticized for finding sexual connection outside the marriage.<br />This is exactly the kind of thing that people should approach with delicacy and compassion, not an arrest and public humiliation.<br />This obviously touched a nerve for me, given the sadness and emotional struggles that my parents and our whole family have had to deal with over the past year and my advice to all is to go to a nursing home to visit these hidden people- see how many people you recognize from your town who you "just hadn't seen for a while"- and give some companionship and understanding to them.<br />It is, without a doubt, the most difficult time of life for all of them.<br />And give an old couple a wide road to navigate their new found separation, fears, and loneliness.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-26219408946126092572014-08-20T05:47:06.777-08:002014-08-20T05:47:06.777-08:00Apparently the wife died not too long after the in...Apparently the wife died not too long after the incident so I suspect she really was beyond being able to consent to anything. Imagine being such a schmuck that the nursing home personnel have to tell you not to try to have sex with your wife with end-stage Alzheimer's Disease. Maybe he didn't believe she was as terminally ill as she was. If I were the prosecutor, I'm not sure I'd prosecute him but I sure would want him to get psychological help. He needs it.<br />Beaglemom Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9361564.post-89992552389417341282014-08-20T05:45:34.065-08:002014-08-20T05:45:34.065-08:00Um,
Who decides to keep them from having sex whe...Um, <br /><br />Who decides to keep them from having sex when she doesn't know who he is that day? ??Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com