Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Iowa GOP Senate candidate Joni Ernst's first TV ad suggests that experience castrating pigs has prepared her for Washington. Does anybody else hear that banjo music from "Deliverance" playing?

Courtesy of the Washington Post:  

Iowa Senate candidate Joni Ernst (R) released her first TV ad Tuesday, a 30-second commercial in which she vows to cut wasteful spending by drawing on her past. 

"I grew up castrating hogs on an Iowa farm. So when I get to Washington, I'll know how to cut pork," Ernst says in the commercial. At the end of the ad Ernst concludes, "Washington's full of big spenders. Let's make 'em squeal."

Holy shit Elly May, what the hell was that?

Does this woman really believe that cutting the balls off porcine farm animals is the kind of experience required in Washington?

Well I know somebody who better hit the ground running.

Blake Farenthold "Why is she looking at me like that?"
I certainly hope that if elected somebody explains to Lorena Bobbitt here that "cutting the pork" is a metaphoric term and not something which requires sharp implements.

Though I have to admit that the idea of watching certain members of Congress running for the door while covering their dangly bits is not something I would want to miss.


  1. Anonymous2:39 PM

    Yikes! One has to wonder what demographic she hopes to appeal to ... That was a pretty ugly image and one I would avoid in the voting booth.

  2. Anonymous3:16 PM

    Ms. Ernst will certainly have her work cut out for her if she starts on the gop side of the aisle. Lots of pork and pigs there. How will SHE fit in with the gop ideas of how women should be, barefoot, pregnant, obedient and quiet?

  3. noerthernbassist3:38 PM

    RE: your last graf, Gryph--most 'members' of Congress have already lost their testicles to the NRA. Ernst is going to have her work cut out for her.

  4. Anonymous3:42 PM

    Good Christ. If there is one thing worse than Palin, it's a wannabe Palin.

    1. Anonymous6:32 PM

      Iowa's wannabee Palin is the light governor Kim Reynolds. Busted for OWI and not a college grad. She worships the Half Baked Alaskan also too! Check this out!

      and http://carrollspaper.com/main.asp?SectionID=4&SubSectionID=25&ArticleID=11061

  5. Anonymous3:48 PM

    Has palin endorsed her? If not, she will.

    1. PalinsHoax5:27 PM

      Ernst does sound like Palin's type of gal.

      I wonder if Ernst approves of Palin having lobbyists to rake in almost $27 million in pork earmarks when she was Mayor of Wasilly.

      I wonder if Ernst approves of how Palin left Wasilly in over $21 million in debt, though at the beginning of her mayoral term, the town was in the black.

      I wonder if Ernst approves of Palin having the Bridge to Nowhere built.

      I wonder if Ernst stuffs her bra with used condoms in washcloths.

      I wonder if Ernst has ever worn a faux pregnancy belly.

      Speaking of pork and barrels, I wonder if Ernst ever cleaned the top of an oil barrel with her nostrils.

      Oink, Oink Ol' $carah!

    2. Anonymous11:44 AM

      appears I called it right...I'm better than sarah with my predictions, I'm one for one...

  6. Anonymous3:54 PM

    Ernst can start with that 2-toned Pimp Husband of Sarah Palin.

  7. Caroll Thompson3:55 PM

    Referring to the Nate Silver piece, can anyone tell me why the Republicans are favored to win this November? I do not understand........................... Don't get me wrong; I believe Mr. Silver's numbers, I just do not understand why those numbers are where they are. This is very depressing.

    I live in Maine, where we are not done with winter evidently. Blizzard warnings are up for some of us and just a regular warning with high wind for the rest. So, I guess I will just stay depressed.

    But when Springtime comes and the flowers finally arrive in all their glory, I am going to go down to City Hall and get myself about 100 voter registration cards and I am going to sign up all the young folks I can. I have many young ones visiting my sons who live upstairs. Many are not registered and I plan to change that. And then I am going to take the day off on election day and see that all those young ones get to the polls and vote.

    We Democrats have to get something going to fight these people. We all need to get fired up and vote. And make sure we all vote. Sign up the babies and grab the old ladies and get us all to the polls. It's going to be a ground game in 2014.

    1. Anonymous5:32 PM

      Turnout. When less than 20% of registered voters bother with primaries, and half of the regular Presidential voters sit out the general elections of mid-terms, the activist blocs of right-wingers, evangelical fundies, and older conservative voters have a much higher % of their base go to the polls. Repubs are more motivated to turn out, historically, especially with a Democratic Administration in the White House.

      If we can change voter behavior for Democrats and moderate independents, we could hold onto the swing seats which haven't been gerrymandered into safe Republican districts.

  8. Anonymous4:30 PM

    The far right , beginning with Limbaugh and Palin, delights in animal cruelty.
    Castration of a farm animal and laughing about it squealing in pain is not something I find hilarious.
    I eat meat and chicken and I understand culling wildlife herds for the good of the general population.
    What I don'y understand is doing the above in inhumane and cruel methods and taking perverted pleasure in same.
    Ala Palin, Limbaugh , Nugent and their fellow tea party travelers.

  9. Anonymous4:38 PM

    Snake Fartenhole is the reason George Harrison wrote the song, "Piggies"

    1. Anonymous6:46 PM


  10. Anonymous5:07 PM

    O/T Gone are the days that science ruled, now it's under massive attack.

    'Creation Museum' Demands Equal Airtime to Refute Scientific Facts in Cosmos Series

    I blame Bill Nye. Several weeks ago, Nye thought it'd be a fine idea to debate a well-known creationist and founder of the Creation Museum, Ken Ham. On debate points and grasp of reality, Nye absolutely won the debate.

    But ultimately, Ham was the real winner.

    Not only did the debate send the loud but unspoken message that creationism was worthy of equal time with science but, it turns out, the debate was a huge money-maker for Ham's ridiculous museum -- inside which it's okay to instruct children that the universe is 6,000 years old and that humans rode on the backs of tamed, domesticated dinosaurs. The debate also helped to raise much-needed funds to greenlight "Ark Park," a theme park based around the fable of Noah's Ark.

    I'm sure Nye had the best of intentions. Perhaps he thought he could convince a few skeptical creationists about the reality of evolution, while reinforcing the validity of it with those of us in the choir who don't need any convincing. That said, there are some things that are unworthy of equal time. Ken Ham's ideas are fine in the context of a Sunday morning homily, but they don't belong in science class. Nye, for all of his good intentions, invited creationism into his classroom.


  11. Anonymous5:16 PM

    Will she have 4-H endorsement...?

  12. Anita Winecooler5:43 PM

    Rumor has it she makes some wicked Swedish Meatballs, maybe she'll pass some around during her concession speech while eating deep fried hot dogs, fried butter and posing with Shelly in front of John Wayne Gacy's home?
    I wonder what other "talents" she learned on the farm that makes her a qualified politician?

  13. Anonymous5:46 PM

    So she's aiming for the Rocky Mountain Oyster eaters.

  14. Anonymous6:08 PM

    What a cold blooded woman. How would she like a pig with a blade to her labia laughing at her squeals? Typical conservative, a mean spirited ugly jerk!

  15. Anonymous6:30 PM

    PLEASE, Gryphen, don't post frightening photographs like the one at the bottom of this post.

    That image will haunt my nightmares tonight!

  16. Anonymous6:39 PM

    "I grew up castrating hogs on an Iowa farm. So when I get to Washington, I'll know how to cut pork,"

    If Joni was a democrat, the Rethug boys would be calling her a femNazi, liberal, man-hating socialist, commie !!!!

    1. Anonymous8:08 PM

      Siccem on Boss Hogg aka Haley Barbour!

  17. Anonymous7:38 PM

    Gryphen, this was one of your funniest and sarcastic blogs. I was laughing so loudly, I woke up my son! Ernst loves her some pork "rocky mountain oysters". Soo-ee!!!

  18. Our Lad3:33 AM

    Well, she clearly knows the mindset and humor level of her constituency. It reminds me of that wonderful, albeit thin book, The Downbeat Guide To Great Conservative Jazz Musicians. This party was not a joke when I was a kid, now these hucksters are difficult to satirize, they fucking do it themselves.

  19. Anonymous7:30 AM

    Her opponent should run an add featuring a farmer talking to a physician. You say my pig needs a hip replacement? The farmer takes out a gun and double taps the pig's head. Cut to a picture of the owner eating ribs licking barbeque sauce off his fingers. This is what Joni wants to do to your grandma, the old, disabled, and of course vets with PTSD. If it don't make a free market profit ...kill it. Joni will balance the budget on the old, the sick and the disabled with medicaid cuts. What about the 3 trillion wasted in Iraq looking for WMD's Joni? Would you castrate the defense department budget?


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