"When I first saw the Sacred Stool of Galilee, of course my immediate reaction was to shout 'Heavens to Betsy!'," a flushing Rowan Faulkner, Archbishop of Canterbury, said. "If it can be conclusively verified that the fossilized remains did in fact once belong to Christ, the Jesus Feces will become perhaps the most important sacred relic in the entire Christian world."
Carbon dating of the fossil pegged its age at just under 1,990 years, meaning it was likely excreted when the Messiah was roughly the age of thirty. The Jesus Feces has already been determined to possess mystical properties of healing, further supporting its authenticity.
"If you touch the Sacred Stool," Thomas Taylor, a bishop of the United Methodist Church and one of the first to examine the relic, said, "you get a staph infection. But touch it again and the staph infection goes away. It's truly miraculous."
I will be giggling like a schoolgirl all day today. This is just to damn funny.
By the way if you took any part of this story seriously you might need a little therapy.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Don't feed the trolls!
It just goes directly to their thighs.