In fact, it would appear that millions of people across a surprisingly large number of dashing, industrious countries all over the world -- including Belgium, Spain, South Africa, Norway, Sweden, Portugal and even adorable little Iceland -- are still not yet imploding, not yet suffering the furious wrath of God, not yet dying in unchecked anguish before our very eyes.
What to make of it? After all, in each and every one of these sinful nations, gay people have been happily and legally getting married (and, presumably, divorced, remarried and tossed about on the same socio-emotional rollercoaster as their straight brethren) every single day, for months and years and -- in the case of the Netherlands -- nearly a decade now.
What the hell is wrong with them? Didn't they get the newsletter? Don't they know how very wrong, sinful, sick and perverted they all so obviously are? Haven't they heard the hoarse wails of the terrified Mormon elders, the raspy screams of the obsolete Vatican, the tightened bowels of confused fundamentalists of nearly every major religion worldwide, all of them absolutely positive that allowing certain kinds of consenting adults who love each other to get married will spell the end of civilization, families, innocence, the military, God's bitter and judgmental love as we know it? Someone should send them a pamphlet.
The point made by columnist Mark Morford is the obvious one. If allowing same sex couples to marry is such an earth shattering event, and numerous other countries have been allowing it for quite some time, then how come the earth remains unshattered?
Now in the interest of full disclosure I should reveal that I personally am against gay marriage. I just think it is wrong.
Of course I am also against ALL other kinds of marriage.
I see marriage as a soul crushing primitive tradition designed to strip romance and passion from a relationship and leave the two participants yearning for the sweet release of death.
But hey, that's just me.
So congratulations gay people! You can now participate in the same venerated tradition that inspired such reality programs as "Trading Spouses", "Bridezilla", "The Real Housewives of Orange County", "Jon and Kate plus 8", and the recent Bristol and Levi engagement debacle.
Well one thing is for sure, the gays certainly cannot screw up the idea of marriage in this country anymore than straight couples have already screwed it up over the last 233 years. THAT is for damn sure!
Gryphen: I've always enjoyed reading your blogs on Parah Salin, but this article was truly a joy to absorb!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you've had such misery associated with marriage. It doesn't have to be that way. Depends upon the people involved and their commitment to themselves and each other.
ReplyDeleteWe've been together almost 40 years and happily so. Of course, we've always had the attitude that we take one day at a time and don't take each other for granted. That helps a lot, I think.
We all need and want to be loved and to love another person. Marriage (well, a legal contract between two people and the state) helps define the rights and responsibilities of each person by addressing issues such as property ownership, child custody and care taking, financial responsibilities and health care issues. It's not necessary, but it helps clarify things.
Plus, marriage as a sacrament helps reinforce a spiritual union and commitment towards each other (a spiritual contract between two people and the church/God).
Whether marriage is good or bad depends upon how seriously the people in it embrace the relationship. It requires maturity and compromise and love.
Whether as a legal or a religious relationship, it should be available to any two people who wish to make a clear commitment to one another. It affords opportunities and protections that are not available any other way and is an amazing thing when it works well.
Gay marriage would have never came up if they had been treated and afforded the rights that other couples have IE, insurance, medical privacy, taxes.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't bother me what does bother me is they are treated like dirt if they want to have some of the conveniences heterosexual couples have.
Where does it stop at, are they going to try to enforce some other idiotic rules on us? When I moved from my parents house at the age of 17 I answered to no one (maybe why I am divorced now).
It is not right to tell people who they can fall in love with, who they can live with as long as it is consenting adults. Why can't they get the same rights? I really just do not get it.
Does it really hurt anyone if a Gay or Lesbian couple have insurance on each other? Does it hurt anyone if one of the partners has to make a life and death decision for their partner? Maybe somebody can tell me what is so devastating with allowing them to have the same rights as others.
My neice is starting kindergarten in NYC this September, at one very competitve, prestigious school. At orientation there were 6 same sex parents. The kids in New York are accustomed to their friends having two mommies or two daddies or one of each. To them it's as natural as their friends having 2 sisters or a 3 brothers. They have no sense that these families are any different than their own because they share the same parent - child love.
ReplyDeleteIf gay people had written the bible straight marriage would be a sin.
ReplyDeleteIt actually came to the Americas in 2005 when Canada legalized same sex marriage. We still have straight marriages, no marriages were harmed in anyway and we have not imploded so.......
ReplyDeleteWell, my wife and I were atheists when we got married 47 years ago.
ReplyDeleteWe still are atheist, married and applaud the decision on Prop 8.
BTW: Sarah Palin is an idiot.
Excellent post again, Gryphen.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen this video of the grandmother at Target?
I've signed the petition at MoveOn.org and would like to encourage you and your readers to do the same.
We need to speak up since the crazies out there sure are.
I'm sorry that marriage is such a sore subject. I completely understand. On the other hand, hope springs eternal. Wishing you a meaningful friendship without the shackles.
I found it interesting that statistics show overwhelmingly that YOUNG people could give half a fat fuck about gay marriage, or gay anything.
ReplyDeleteFor those oldsters who like to consider themselves "hep" and all, maybe its time for them to open up that concrete encasement of a mind of theirs, and alter their lifelong prejudices so they CAN be convincingly "with it."
@anonymous 7:09am
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/05/opinion/05thu1.html?WT.mc_id=OP-SM-E-FB-SM-LIN-MIA-080610-NYT-NA&WT.mc_ev=click
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, the battle is not over yet, but the eloquent and logical language of this ruling will make it harder for the haters to win.
Gryphen, I'm sorry that you've been soured on marriage. I think my husband and i would be just as happy without the piece of paper, but from a legal and tax standpoint it just makes things so much easier.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x8888099
Ha ha.
The government has no business even considering marriage status, because doing so discriminates against those who choose to remain single (as they were born) and have to pay more taxes for the same (or actually less) government value.
ReplyDeleteCivil unions are wonderful for many people, but they should in no way affect prices paid for insurance, banks accounts, taxes, or anything else.
A civil union in a church or a gay bar or a book club or any other venue is fine, regardless of who presides over the ceremony. Just don't use it as an excuse to discriminate against single persons.
Funny from http://blogs.ocweekly.com/navelgazing/the-hilarious-haters/racist-oc-register-reader-fust-21/
ReplyDeleteRacist OC Register Reader Fustercluck of the Day
By Nick Schou, Fri., Aug. 6 2010 @ 8:58AM
Categories: The Hilarious Haters
Headline: Rally Celebrates "Historic" Ruling
Comment by V22FOREVER: I cannot believe that one person can change a law which was legally voted into existence by a huge majority of citizens, just because they feel like it. This is wrong. Legislating from the bench is why we should be throwing these judges out of work.
No Homos,
No Illegals,
No Gun Grabbers,
NO OBAMA.
Comment by NOMERCY4DUI: To all you gays and friends and families who are celebrating this decision as a victory: I hope to see you there supporting the polygamist's right to marry the way they want...Or those that want to marry an animal...Or those that want to marry a 12 year old...If you aren't then you are no better than those you accuse of taking away YOUR "right" to marry as you wish...
Comment by PUNISHER14: I know some really manly squeaky voiced guys (mike tyson), and some really feminine guys who look pretty tough (Mel Gibson, homosexual for sure). I think homosexuals get "sold" on the idea afer getting burned in heterosexual relationships. I swear it has sounded appealing more than once to me also. Except the part about puttin your dipstick in the exhaust pipe.
SOUNDOFF2: Prop 8 overturned on Obama's birthday. It was a really bad day to be an intolerant redneck.
Comment by OHYEAHWELL: I'm don't even feel compelled to make an intellectual argument against gay marriage. I just don't like it and don't want them in my tribe. Go be gay and frolicsome somewhere else like on the San Andreas fault where Frisco and Palm Springs are. Intellect locked in a groove hits a dead end when one constructs carefully throughtout "logic" to the point where eventually nothing means anything and anything means nothing. Do you have a logical reason for my "bias" or could it be that I'm just not that into magenta?
Comment by RYUKAGE: What's that supposed to mean?
Comment by THRICE: I think he is trying to say the san andreas fault is gay
Comment by BOBBARNETT: Biggest nitwit yet on this board
Comment by SEROTEPODRIDO: i want some taquitos.
I have always joked that Gay couples should have the right to be just as miserable as hetero couple.
ReplyDeleteFor years I lived next door to a gay couple. Day after day, week after week, year after year, I witnessed them doing things like mowing the lawn, checking the mailbox, and washing the car. It was horrible!
ReplyDeleteInteresting how someone comments on the invalidity of a judge striking down a voted upon concept (JUST because its not even close to being acceptable under the Constitution)--and only a few words later, cries out for NO OBAMA...forgetting, I guess, how we voted him in by a much wider margin than the Prop 8 result.
ReplyDeleteLets have a vote on letting people who are that stupid, enjoy the fruits of living in a free country, until they submit to tests showing they've become a little more realistic and tolerant of their fellow citizens.
10:14, the IRS code allows for a deduction for medical expenses in excess of a floor, but i'm too dang healthy to take advantage of it. however, you won't see me crying in my cheerios. i'm just happy not to have the expense.
ReplyDeletenext time you're in a woe-is-me-i-have-no-kids-to-deduct funk, think about how lucky you are not to have to spend the thousands to raise one. be grateful someone else is doing the very necessary task of bringing up some of those sassy critters. believe me, they cost a bunch more than the measly 2 grand exemption.
and yeah, someone's gotta do it, or who else will take care of you childless people when you're too old to take care of yourselves... and of course, there's the continuation of the USA, unless you want our population to die out.
I used to think people naturally fell out of love after some time so I was absolutely resigned to no marriage for me. Then, out of the blue, I fell in love and changed my mind. We've been married going on thirty years and we're still crazy about each other. Although my spouse is an atheist and I'm agnostic, my marriage is the "grace" in my life.
ReplyDeleteI wish ALL people could be as happy.
Justice Kagan: Given your rhetoric about the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy—you called it “a profound wrong—a moral injustice of the first order”—let me ask this basic question: Do you believe that there is a federal constitutional right to samesex marriage?
ReplyDeleteAnswer: There is no federal constitutional right to same-sex marriage.
I too am sorry that you've had a bad time in the marriage dept. My first marriage was bad, but my second husband is pure gold.
ReplyDeleteYesterday I watched Joe Wilson's documentary "Out in Silence" about being gay in rural Oil City, PA. Based on what I saw, I'd guess that some of those who believe same sex marriage is the gateway to hell also believe the "furriners" living in those other countries are already being punished for not being "rill Amuricans". God loves America best, you know!