Saturday, October 08, 2005

Do you have your Rapture Safety card?

For believers, the cards depict various Rapture poses they may strike when the trumpet sounds: the flange pose, with both arms pointed down like a badminton birdie. Or the more popular Superman pose: one knee up, both arms held skyward.

Ooookaay. Don't you just love how ignorance seems to be permeating every level of our lives?

Personally I can hardly wait until the Rapture. The sooner I we get these bible thumping, science hating, 700 Club watching morons off of this planet the better off the rest of us will be.

Hey I just got some breaking news for the the faithful. God just told me that he wants all of you to give your belongings to the poor, build a life raft out of empty Dr. Pepper bottles, cover yourselves in maple syrup, and row out to the middle of whatever body of water is the closest to wait for Jesus. Now you will know him because he will be standing out in the middle of the body of water playing a tuba. Good luck and good-bye.

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