Showing posts with label Santa Claus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Santa Claus. Show all posts

Monday, December 25, 2017

Happy Saturnalia!

I actually typically have no problem wishing people a Merry Christmas.

But since Trump decided to brag about bringing Christmas back, I simply had to defy that orange tinted, anus mouthed, POS.

Besides of course Saturnalia was the true holiday before those uptight Christians hijacked it in order to spread their capitalist religion around the world.

And it might never have taken off quite as well if Clement Clarke Moore had not written that poem in 1823, and Coca Cola had not altered the look of St. Nick from this rather grim looking fellow...


....into this jolly elf.

Oh well, stolen celebrations, reinvented historical figures, evil capitalist underpinnings, what does it really matter if we are celebrating with loved ones and taking this opportunity to share our bounty
with the less fortunate?

I love this holiday, and hope that you and yours have a wonderful day. 

Friday, November 04, 2016

Excellent point.

Yeah that idea the a portly old white guy could do all of the magical things they claim he can do is just ridiculous on its face.

I'm of course talking about Donald Trump.

That Santa fellow seems legit.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Well it's Christmas, and this IS the Immoral Minority, so let's stick a pin in the virgin birth story shall we?

Now I am sure that I have already covered this in the past, but I recently stumbled across an interview on Raw Story of Dr. Tony Nugent, scholar of world religions, and a symbologist.

Oh, and he is also an ordained  Presbyterian minister.

And I really liked his no BS explanation for why so many ignoramuses stick giant Nativity scenes on their lawns at Christmas.

On why we think Mary was a virgin:

The familiar Christmas story, including the virgin conception and birth of Jesus, is found in the gospels of Matthew and Luke. Scholars have pointed out that these stories are somewhat disconnected from other parts of these Gospels and the rest of the New Testament. In fact, by the time he is a young boy in the temple, Jesus’s parents seem to have forgotten the virgin birth. They act surprised by his odd behavior. There is never any other mention in the New Testament of these incredible events! These stories seem to be an afterthought, written later than the rest of the gospels that contain them. To make matters more interesting, the stories themselves have inconsistencies and ambiguities – contradictory genealogies, for example. Our Christmas story (singular) is actually a composite. 

Or consider the idea that Mary is a virgin. The Greek writer of Matthew quotes Isaiah as saying: “a parthenos shall conceive and bear a child.” The Hebrew word in Isaiah is “almah,” which means simply “young woman.” But the Greek word parthenos can mean either a virgin or a young woman, and it got translated as “virgin.” Modern Bible translations have corrected this, but it is a central part of the Christmas story.

You know for the "inerrant word of God" this book is certainly full of historical inaccuracies, and mistranslations. 

So did early Christians believe in the virgin birth?

Jewish Christians, the first Christians, didn’t believe in the virgin birth. They believed that Joseph was the biological father of Jesus. Part of their Christology was “adoptionism”–they thought Jesus was adopted as the unique son of God at some time later in life. There were disagreements about when – Mark suggests the baptism, Paul suggests the resurrection. 

Over time, gentile Christianity replaced Jewish Christianity. There were Jewish-Roman Wars. The Jewish Christians were marginalized and oppressed. The Gentile branch became dominant. Eventually we get the gospel of John which pushes the sonship of Jesus back to the beginning of time. This writer is at the other end of the spectrum from the Jewish Christians.

So apparently all of the relatively rational early Christians were told to shut up, and that left the less than rational ones to interpret the story of Jesus. Well that figures.

So just how should we view stories in the Bible? 

We need to be able to appreciate these stories as myths, rather than literal histories. When you understand where they come from, then you can understand their spiritual significance for the writers and for us.

Well good then I have been doing it right since I was just a boy.

I apologize if this interferes with your ability to enjoy the holidays. But take heart!

I mean sure the Biblical stories about Jesus are complete horse pucky, but at least we know Santa Claus is real. Right?

Right?

Monday, December 23, 2013

Sarah Palin gives an interview to Right Wing rag Newsbusters that seems modified to make her seem smarter.

So just a little while ago I noticed a post on the Christmas Ho's Facebook page about a recent interview with Newsbusters. And my first thought was "Hell I don't have to post about this, it's almost Christmas!"

But then I gave the article a quick perusal just to assure myself it was the same old tired crap she has been vomiting forth for weeks now, and something just seemed off.

Like this response to this quote in her book, “An angry atheist with a lawyer is one of the most powerful persons in America:”

 PALIN: This takes a little explaining about how our rights are normally protected, about why and who can sue a city, county or school. I go into this deeply in the book, but here’s the bird’s eye view. 

Normally, a person can’t sue a public entity for a violation of constitutional rights unless he or she has a concrete injury. In other words, someone would have to show how the action of the public institution harmed his legally protected interests. For example, if you’re told not to speak, your right to free speech is violated. If you’re prohibited from holding a Bible study, your right to free exercise of religion has been compromised. In these examples, the power of the state is forcing you into silence or subjection. 

But there’s a double standard at work. If someone is offended by a religious expression or speech in a public setting, then courts have allowed that offended person to sue -- even if they weren’t censored, made to pray, or coerced into compliance with a different belief system, and even when they have a right to speak out and try to change public policy. Not only can people sue over hurt feelings, many times they’ve won. 

This means people can silence their fellow citizens for no other reason than the fact that they were offended. This should stop. 

Okay when this did this lunatic go to law school?

So it dawns on me that one of two things has happened. Either Newsbusters sent her the questions ahead of time, and she had her ghostwriter answer them after doing research. Or the interviewer took her crazed word salad and added some editorial Prozac to it to make it seem rational.

My money's on the first one, as the Palin camp probably wants to convince interviewers she is not a dipshit. (Too late.)

However what is crystal clear is that Palin did NOT answer these questions without a substantial amount of help.

So let's see if she had enough help to make her seem reasonably coherent throughout the entire interview shall we?

Here was her response to a question about a portion of her book in which she identifies her favorite scene of Linus reciting from Luke 2 8-14 during the "A Charlie Brown Christmas:" 

PALIN: Mostly, I love when Linus recites the Scripture from the book of Luke, explaining to Charlie “what Christmas is all about.” It packs a punch. When he gets to the words “Fear not,” I love how he drops his blanket. It’s almost like he realized where his true security rests. 

But then to a simple followup question as to when she first noticed that scene she says this:  

PALIN: To be honest, I’d seen it many times before – just like you had – without noticing that part. I think sometimes different parts of movies or books jump out at you during different times of life. This is a pretty scary time in our nation’s history, so I guess it makes sense that this would jump off the screen a little more vibrantly than it would’ve back when I watched it in previous years.

Seriously? That is perhaps one of the most iconic moments in the special (Along with the ugly little tree that suddenly turns beautiful when everybody pitches in to decorate it.), how could a self proclaimed Christian have not had it "jump off the screen" during their first few viewings?

I noticed it and I am an Atheist since around the age of seven.

That struck me as more than a little weird.

Then Palin is asked about this quote, “Atheism’s track record makes the Spanish Inquisition seem like Disneyland by comparison.”

Palin mentions a book she "read" by Christoper Hitchens' brother Peter, about the supposed moral collapse he saw in Russia with the closing of the churches. She (Her ghostwriter) then made this statement:

The history of the twentieth century is a sad compendium of atheism’s murderous track record – from Mao’s China to Pol Pot’s Cambodia and on and on. But we can go back even further in history to the French Revolution, which I also mentioned in the book. The Jacobins hated traditional Christianity and openly persecuted the Catholic Church. They imprisoned and murdered priests and nuns who wouldn’t be puppets for the state. They demolished or closed churches. At one point they were even changing the street names to remove references to the saints! As I wrote in “Good Tidings and Great Joy,” their hatred of Christianity didn’t lead to utopia. It led to the guillotine. 

What her ghostwriter fails to recognize however is that the French Revolution was, in part, a response to the corruption of the Catholic church and to its influence over the French nobility.

The anger toward religion was also fanned by Christian opposition to the Enlightenment and had been instrumental in the imprisonment, torture, and beheadings of those identified as Atheists or who spoke out against the church.

There were atrocities on both sides, however first blood was not drawn by the irreligious.

Of course when you are pimping a book defending Christmas and Christians against the scourge of atheism it doesn't pay to tell both sides now does it?

She was also questioned about her response to the Marti Bashir comments:

PALIN: I was out on my book tour meeting some amazing and inspiring Americans when this crap hit the fan, so I had more positive things on my mind than what another far left liberal spewed about me. Got to be honest though, I felt MSNBC’s tacit agreement with Bashir’s call to action encouraging that physical attack was downright gross and enormously demeaning. I hate, hate, hate that such an attack could have ever been punishment for any slave during that blight on America’s historical record. I’m so sorry for that chapter in a new nation’s life. 

Yeah right.

On the Megyn Kelly Santa Claus ethnicity brouhaha:

PALIN: Honestly, I’ve never given it much thought. I didn’t know Santa’s race was a controversial topic. 

On the fact that Kelly's comments received more media attention than did Bashir's:  

PALIN: If that turns out to be true, then I think that reflects skewed priorities. It’s just bizarre. I mean, seriously? We’re going to get all “outrageously outraged” over the supposed racial makeup of a mythical figure? 

Must be killing her to realize that people care more about that "mythical figure" than they do about her.  Though come to think of it she is just about as mythologized as St. Nick these days.

After reading through all of this I am dead certain that Palin had substantial help with the questions and undoubtedly received them in the mail well in advance of publication.

That's okay though, even with careful editing and research she still comes off as historically ignorant, self centered, and a person who continually plays the victim.

Besides if ever anybody thinks she might be getting any smarter, just wait for an actual TV interview and you can see the stupidity in all its brain cell killing glory.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Jon Stewart's response to Megyn Kelly's assertion that Santa Claus is white, and it's a fact, must not be missed. Update!


"Santa is just white! And who are you actually talking to? Children who are sophisticated enough to be watching a news channel at ten o'clock at night, yet innocent enough to still believe Santa Claus is real, yet racist enough to be freaked out if he isn't white."

So true.

By the way apparently somebody decided to change Megyn Kelly's Wikipedia page today to reflect her new claim to fame.


I understand that Kelly is planning to address her bizarre assertion (Which by the way is completely false.) on her show tonight. I might just provide an update to this post based on what she has to say.

Update: Okay so I just saw the opening of Kelly's show and her explanation for the controversy is that  she was joking, and liberals have no sense of humor.

Oh she also said that she and Fox News were big targets in this country. (Oh yeah, THAT'S the reason you are being mocked.)

I invite you to play the video at the top of this post again and tell me if you can discern if the slightest hint of humor coming from Megyn Kelly as she states emphatically that Santa, and of course Jesus, are white.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Megyn Kelly tells America's children that both Santa and Jesus are historical figures, and are both white. So stop writing letters to our Santa and praying to our Jesus you brown people!

Courtesy of Cajun Boy:

And by the way, for all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white. But this person is maybe just arguing that we should also have a black Santa. But, you know, Santa is what he is, and just so you know, we’re just debating this because someone wrote about it, kids…Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change. You know, I mean, Jesus was a white man too. He was a historical figure; that’s a verifiable fact—as is Santa, I want you kids watching to know that. 

Yes sorry all you black kids who watch Fox News (Has to be at least one or two, right?) but Santa is a white dude. And so is Jesus because this is America and in America everybody worth looking up to is white.

(THAT'S why Fox News cannot say anything positive about President. He is only half white.)

And even though Santa Claus is based on this guy.

A skinny, very stern looking St. Nicholas.

Americans actually know that he looks like this.


Because that is the way that Coca Cola had him drawn for their advertisements, and Americans only know what to like and trust due to advertising firms.

As for Jesus well anthropologists and historians want you to believe that Jesus most likely looked like the image below.

Seriously? That face would send today's Christians scrambling for the church exit.

No, REAL American Christians know that Jesus looked like this.

 Now you're talking.

See, now THAT'S the image of Jesus that puts asses in seats and fills the collection plate to overflowing.

So don't worry white kids whose parents force them to watch Fox News, Jesus looks just like you.

Besides if Santa and Jesus were really black wouldn't Sarah Palin be trying to get into their pants?


Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas my little immoral friends!

Now, now no crying on Christmas.

I know it may seem odd for an Atheist, but I LOVE Christmas, and always have a great time with my family.

Of course when we were growing up Christmas was treated more like a secular holiday, you know like Santa had intended, before some of the nuttier Christians started demanding that we remember "the reason fof the season." Which in my house by the way had always been to get loot and bring up embarrassing stories from the past to humiliate each other.

But I don't think that is what THEY meant, though I am pretty sure my way is a lot more fun.

Well anyhow I cannot think of ANYBODY who reflected my views of Christmas when I was a child as well as Calvin does, so here are a few of my favorite comic strips to get all of YOU in the mood.


Now THAT is how I remember Christmas!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Image of the day.

Courtesy of Captain Cartoon:

 I've drawn nearly 35,000 caricatures, the vast majority of them children — and many from the northeast! Through my vast experience interacting with these angels, I feel a huge sense of loss over the Sandy Hook tragedy. 

The 11" x 14" black and white original artwork, shown at left, will either be donated to a sanctioned organization directly associated with the victims' families, or submitted for auction with all proceeds going to the families. As details emerge and it becomes clearer as to where to send it, that decision will be made.

Along with countless millions of people from around the world, I continue to grieve over this monumental "someone's just crossed the line" travesty, and pray for the victims and their families, for whom December 14, 2012 began a "neverending story" of tragic proportion, and for us all - especially for our children.

I often wish I had the talent to express my emotion in such an artistic manner.

I am touched both by the illustration and this artist's selfless desire to support the heartbroken families in Newtown, Connecticut.

Saturday, December 01, 2012

Oh crap! There really IS a war on Christmas!

And here I thought those Fox News folks were off their rockers.

Yep Obama gets his second term and now Christmas is illegal. If only we had listened.

I think the cop ought to give the old guy a breathalyzer test. After all his nose is ALWAYS red and he thinks his reindeer can fly. 

Saturday, December 24, 2011

You are going to need a box of tissue for this.

I am just a sucker for these stories, and this one is about the best I have ever seen.

Have a happy Christmas Eve everybody!

I finally found that Palin Christmas card that everyone has been wondering about.

"Sorry Jimmy Santa can't come this year. Some nasty old woman killed Rudolph."

There of course is some possibility that this is not the ACTUAL Palin Christmas card. Just so you know.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Santa Claus, not Jesus, is the great symbol of unity and peace for Christmas.

It's recently been reported that an atheists' group has planned an advertising campaign for this Christmas, featuring a photograph of smiling people wearing Santa Claus hats. The caption: "No God? . . . No problem! Be good for goodness sake." Whatever you might think of this message, the ad does contain a grain of historical truth: the modern image of Santa Claus was invented in the 19th century by New Yorkers, as a secular myth meant to unite the city's diverse and growing population.

No common observance of Christmas existed in New York at that time, other than a holiday from work. Many Protestant churches frowned on elaborate Christmas celebrations, which they associated with Anglo-Catholicism and the aristocracy. The city's free laborers, who often suffered from unemployment in the dark days of winter when shipping and industry slowed down, were only too willing to gather in the streets at Christmas, turning the holiday into an excuse for drunken caroling. As for the laborers in the city's large enslaved population, they used this rare time off for celebrations that often included customs with roots in Africa.

There's little wonder that some leading citizens would have welcomed a symbol that encouraged peaceful, domestic celebrations, of the sort that most New Yorkers might share. They found that symbol in Santa Claus, starting around 1810.

The thing I used to love about Christmas is that people seemed to go out of their way to be more pleasant to each other, more gracious, and less selfish. And immediately after that observation I would always think "Why can't we ALWAYS treat each other with this much respect?"

Now I used to think that way back before the battle lines were drawn and the "War on Christmas" began back in the 1990's. (Or perhaps even earlier.) Now days I have to listen to new reports of vandals stealing the baby Jesus from Nativity scenes, and Christians yelling "The Reason for the Season!", and the endless discussion over who is trampling on whose religious freedoms.

And suddenly the season of love and acceptance, turned into the season of selfishness and recriminations. The Christians demand that Jesus feature prominently in Christmas displays in store windows, and television commercials, and holiday decorations on public property. And non-Christians demand that they be able to celebrate an American holiday without having a religious belief that they do not share thrown in their face every time they turn on the radio, watch television, or drive to the mall.

The truth is that NOTHING about Christmas has its origin in Christianity. From the pagan origins of the Christmas tree, the borrowed Saturnalia custom of gift giving, to even the assimilation of the Winter Solstice celebration, Christmas is a potpourri of borrowed customs and traditions. And is THAT really so bad?

I have to applaud the 19th century New Yorkers for attempting to create a holiday that brought all kinds of citizens together. What a wonderful idea!

And it worked great too! Right up until people started getting greedy and saw an opportunity to stir up some self serving controversy. Not much Christmas spirit in that is there?

Perhaps this year, instead of slapping each other's hands away from the holiday and trying to take it for our own, we should adopt the philosophy that St. Nicholas espoused so eloquently and offer to share this season of giving with our neighbors, despite our religious, ethnic, or political differences.

So the next time you turn on Fox News and see Bill O'Reilly yelling about the "attacks on Christmas" in a desperate attempt to gin up controversy and boost his ratings, just turn it off and hold your children, and thank Santa Claus for representing a season that ALL Americans can enjoy regardless of which religion they embrace, or to which God they direct their prayers.