Sarah Palin weighs in on Trump's first 100 days. Put your hip waders on folks!

This is unfortunately courtesy of Breitbart, so remember to take your air sickness pills and if you click the link also make sure to have your local mental health professional on speed dial.

Shall we begin?

“I’m extremely pleased, of course, that our new president is in there building the team that he believes he needs in order to fulfill promises to the American electorate, to make America great again, and I’m very, very happy that he’s there,” said Palin.

“Remember, those of you who maybe still aren’t aboard the Trump Train but know that the Trump movement had to be ushered in, in order to get rid of the status quo that was harming America, keep doing your ABCs and remember what that was: it was Anybody but Clinton,” she said. “So stick with your little alphabet analogy there. Those who are asking for a grade of this administration, just keep remembering it could have been Clinton.”

Well looky there!

Already there is something that I have in common with Sarah Palin.

Whenever I think of the job that Donald Trump is doing I also remember that it could have been Hillary Clinton, and then I sob ever so softly into my pillow.

Apparently she is not a fan of Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, and even less a fan of Common Core:

“If the leader now of the education sector of our country would deny that Common Core is in existence, she needs to try to tell that to our really, really great public school teachers, who still have to explain and kind of apologize to the public school parents – I’m one of them – as to why the curriculum is as confusing and burdensome and less freeing for our teachers, who know what our students need best, as do the parents. Good schoolteachers still have to explain to us that under Common Core, these requirements are quite burdensome and nonsensical,” she said. 

She accused DeVos of being “really out of touch” for denying all of this was happening.

Personally I think that Common Core is much better than NCLB, but it is still leaves a lot to be desired.

Wait did I just kind of agree with Sarah Palin twice?

Clearly one of us has been drinking.

Palin then attacked President Obama's so-called "lead from behind" strategy and suggested that Trump was much better at foreign relations. Wait, seriously?

“Trump quashed that. He said no more leading from behind. America is that ‘beacon of hope.’ We are a country … of just this perfect storm, if you will, with the natural resources to be developed, with the manpower, and with the intellect, and with the patriotism, the unity that a country needs in order to be so successful, to be great and to be a leader that other countries would wish to emulate. America has all that, and we can put it into play for the greater good of the world by leading, and not leading from behind, which is kind of Orwellian-speak,” said Palin.

Yes, Trump's new "not leading from behind" has almost got us into like three or four wars so far, and irritated and confused pretty much all of our allies, with the exception of course of Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu. But then again he's kind of nuts.

Hungry for some word salad?

Here you go: 

“Leading again on the global stage and the Supreme Court pick, those are two specifics – but Alex, we need to make sure to remind our friends, our supporters, people who are really tuned in to what’s going on today and get frustrated under any administration. Maybe they’re frustrated with what Trump does, some of the wrinkles that are certainly part of the agenda that we’ve witnessed,” she suggested. 

“We can never put our faith and our hope in man, in any one man, certainly not a politician,” Palin counseled. “Man is fallible. We’re going to be disappointed if we put all of our hope and faith in one man – a politician, a government that cannot make us happy, healthy, wealthy, and wise. We need to look at the bigger picture here, as you suggested in your opening.”

Believe it or not that is about as coherent as it got for the rest of the interview, but I will tell you that she babbled about Berkley,  government bureaucrats, globalists, professional politicians, and the yes men around Trump.

After careful analysis my take away from all of this is that Meth is a hell of a drug.

Not even once kids, not even once.

In a more reality based assessment of Trump's first 100 days, Jennifer Granholm wrote on the Huffington Post:

Despite his self-aggrandized deal making "abilities," Trump has failed to convince his own Republican-controlled Congress to pass a single piece of legislation that he promised in his "Contract with the American Voter" for the first 100 days - not one. His major executive orders are being blocked by courts. The Republican replacement plan for Obamacare would rip away health care from 26 million Americans and cause premiums for those with preexisting conditions to explode. Trump is saber-rattling us into another war. His budget slashes funding for everything from arts and research funding to after school programs to Meals on Wheels to food for poor women, infants, and children. His tax plan is a massive gift to millionaires and billionaires, paid for with trillions in debt to China. 

Granholm also wrote:  

With a 'honeymoon' like this, divorce can't come soon enough.

Now see THAT is the kind of accurate assessment that you would never find on a racist right wing rag like Breaitbart News. 

Somebody took the time to transcribe an entire Donald Trump sentence. Tell me how long it takes you to experience deja vu.

This is an actual Trump "sentence" https://t.co/w221Er7THY pic.twitter.com/Fs9qNC0EFc

— Alex Leo (@AlexMLeo) August 9, 2016

Reading that almost triggers my PTSD from my years transcribing Sarah Palin speeches and interviews.

At this point virtually everybody has made the comparison between Trump and Palin over and over again, but actually reading a sentence like this really drives home just how similar they are in their thinking or, if you prefer, non-thinking habits.

As I have said before I really do not think we would have Donald Trump as the Republican nominee in 2016 if we had not already had Sarah Palin as the VP nominee in 2008.

The Morning Joe panel attempts to understand just what Sarah Palin was babbling about in Wisconsin.

Courtesy of Raw Story:  

The Morning Joe crew were visibly horrified at Sarah Palin’s speech for Donald Trump last Friday night, when she spoke on behalf of the Donald at the Milwaukee County GOP’s fundraising dinner. 

The speech came as Wisconsin is turning into the Republican establishment’s major stand against Trump, with Gov. Scott Walker endorsing Ted Cruz, as well as the state’s right-wing talk radio hosts speaking out vociferously against Trump. 

And in that environment, Palin and her usual “word salad” (as Joe and company referred to it) didn’t get their usual cheering crowd. Instead, it was just the half-term governor, a microphone — and crushing silence. 

“Can I ask you,” Joe Scarborough asked of John Heilemann, who had actually been there for the event, “halfway through her speech did you ask if you had stumbled into some bad acid?” 

Heilemann responded: “Well the question was, ‘Who has taken the bad acid?'”

Actually I think that if the audience had been on acid this speech might well have made perfect sense. 

After covering this speech, and the one that came after it, I really thought I would be done talking about it. However watching this panel of pundits attempting to wrap their minds around what they were seeing was just too good not to share.

Sarah Palin responds to conservative calls to blackball her over her support of Donald Trump, by backing up a truck and dumping a huge load of word salad onto her Facebook page.

So in an article appearing in something called the Conservative Review, Amanda Carpenter called for the blackballing of Trump supporters including among others Chris Christie, Ben Carson, and of course Sarah Palin.

I am not precisely sure how the others on the list responded, but Sarah Palin....well Sarah Palin was not going to take this lying down.

Well at least her ghostwriter wasn't.

Here is just a portion:

Hooray For the Blacklist! Revelation "The Man" Was Either Lying Then or They're Lying Now 

Yippee! We're blacklisted! Patriots who've had enough of Washington DC hypocrisy and t'aint gonna take it anymore are now officially "blacklisted" and "targeted" (*note: you are not allowed to use those politically incorrect words, you racist gun clingers; only the chosen ones are allowed). 

(Yep, somebody has been hitting the sauce!)

The so-called "conservative" Professional Political Class has united against me and others for supporting our party's frontrunner and refusing to join their ‪#‎NeverTrump‬ campaign that will ultimately elect Hillary Clinton. The self-appointed kingmakers don't even hide the fact their efforts to destroy our winning candidate, while disrespecting the will of the people, ultimately bolsters the liberal left and fuels the insider's shared gravy train that they all suck from. (Gravy train suckers. Yuck!) Many have actually promised to stop at nothing to thwart the electorate's choice for a successful commonsense conservative who's in perfect position to bust up the Washington cabal and return our government back to We the People. Want to join me on their blacklist? Sign here! Want a bumpersticker proclaiming it loud and proud? Make one, then send me one for my truck, eh? (That's our girl, never missing the chance to grift.)

In setting aside "real life" this morning, I took a minute to google news of the day and saw this blacklist. It immediately reminded me why millions of Americans across party lines are coalescing to reject Washington DC's politics-as-usual. 

The political establishment collecting names to brand us blacklisted are exactly this - as spoken by William F. Buckley: "Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views." Obviously the same is true with our own party's elitist political bullies who claim to be the only keepers of the conservative flame ignited by Buckley, Goldwater and Reagan. 

This Primary election has sifted out the self-appointed movers and shakers in the GOP who are up to no good, thanks to Donald Trump's campaign exposing unprincipled politicos' true agenda. For as much as these politicians, pundits, consultants, and "conservative" media types rant, rave and pontificate, there's no denying they really don't care who wins elections as long as they keep their perks, titles, ratings, and invites to their pal's preachin'-to-the-choir venues. (Does anybody else smell the fire and brimstone?)

More Americans now find out these folks are really good at using and abusing their audiences and supporters. I know personally that when it benefited their elections, their fundraisers, their poll numbers, careers and connections, they sure agreed with my conservative politics. For nearly a decade they've requested my endorsement, my social media shout-outs, my pro bono consulting and advice, and as much in-person support as my time allowed me to give them. They were either lying then, or they're lying now about my judgment creds. (Or it could just be that you are now a has been, with no political clout or ability to draw enough attention to their cause or candidate to bother with anymore.) I've never asked any of them for anything in return (they can all testify to that) except their integrity to shine. (Does ANYBODY really buy that?) You'd think that at least in my respecting their right to endorse whichever Presidential candidate they choose, they'd reciprocate and simply respect my right to endorse a commonsense conservative Republican who just happens to not be top of their list.

The rant of course goes on and on during which she attacks a few former allies, who she feels are in agreement with this blackballing (Insert your favorite Glen Rice joke here.), and ends with a quote from Andrew Breitbart.

In between those two things is this rather bizarre outburst:

So the clever DC herd that's created the cutesie social media hashtag (because Twitter handles are just so doggone intimidating and powerful in battle, I guess?) are attempting to thwart the will of the people and the power of electorate with their #NeverTrump ammo. Well, kiddos, quick history lesson – our founders had their own hard copy kind of hashtag. It looked like ‪#‎WeThePeople‬. And #WeThePeople are turning out by the millions, smashing voter participation records to fight against exactly the sort of hypocritical elitist games you are playing with our Republic. #WeThePeople will be in Cleveland this summer for the GOP Convention to make sure your haughtiness doesn't drive you to follow through on your asinine threats to do something untoward and silence the voice of #WeThePeople. True Conservatives and Independents who are in this for a reason, not a season... who don't look at elections as "just business"... who sacrifice precious time and resources away from our families and jobs in order to help others, well, we'll continue to stand united against the Left with our nominee, despite your ironclad commitment now to see him fall, which leads to Hillary's victory.

Hang on let me shovel my way out of this pile of putrid word salad.

Whew! Clearly somebody hit a nerve!

You know in many ways Sarah Palin's response is almost exactly what we would expect from Donald Trump. The only difference being that Trump favors Twitter while Palin likes to expose her idiocy on Facebook.

Sarah Palin unleashes both barrels at Ted Cruz, and his surrogate Rep. Steve King.

From the Facebook page of Donald Trump's trumpeting strumpet:

Dirty Politics: Witnessing Firsthand It's Always Heartbreaking, Never Surprising 

Thank heavens Donald Trump opened so many eyes to the lies, corruption and total lack of accountability that come so naturally to the permanent political class. And Sen. Ted Cruz was spot on when he once noted that "millions of Americans are asking for accountability and truth." Which is why it's so curious - and saddens us - this lack of accountability with the lies of Cruz's own campaign. 

(Oh yeah, I can only imagine how much lying must upset Sarah Palin.)

Cruz's campaign chairman, U.S. Representative Steve King, is lying, and good for Dr. Ben Carson for calling this out. King, who's previously asked for and received my endorsement, time and resources to support his own election, is still lying about my altruistic support of Mr. Trump ("Altruistic" support? Sure, we buy that.), and he's refused to provide any evidence to the contrary. And, this U.S. Congressman actually lied to his own constituents on behalf of Cruz, regarding a good man, Dr. Carson. He told voters Carson was dropping out of the Presidential race immediately before the Iowa caucus, causing a relative uproar inside the process, so the word would spread and he could rack up more votes for his candidate, Cruz. That's a dirty trick. Dr. Carson deserved better. The voters deserved better! 

(See that? That there is grade A word salad folks. The best that Donald Trump's money can buy. I'm sorry I meant have altruistically given to him.)

Where is the accountability for these political actions? Very sad; typical Washington tactics. THIS is why "the status quo has got to go.

Palin then adds a quote from Ben Carson, which I tried to post here but I kept dozing off halfway through it. (One thing you can say about Palin, she might be all kinds of crazy but at least you don't find yourself waking up in a puddle of drool and your face plastered to your keyboard.)

We've had eight years of a reckless President, accountable to no one, pushing this country to the brink. (The brink of success thank you very much.)Why would we ever take a risk repeating that? We are never going to turn this country around if we keep electing "more of the same." (Wait! So Ted Cruz is "more of the same?") Just like conservatives have been preaching in opposition to Obama's political tactics for years: actions speak louder than words. 

The Cruz Campaign's actions to destroy a good man's efforts to serve are no different than Obama's practice of not holding anyone accountable. Typical politics. Typical politicians. 

Damn! Palin cut to the bone with this one.

The idea that Ted Cruz is "more of the same," and comparing him to President Obama is just about the nastiest thing you can say to a Tea Party obstructionist like Ted Cruz. (I have to imagine that Obama is not exactly digging the comparison either.)

Of course this is much like the Twitter rant that Trump went on right below this post, so it would seem to the lay person that this was coordinated.

And the fact that Palin took to her last remaining media outlet to come to Trump's defense, yet again, kind of reinforces the allegations made by Steve King that got her so riled up in the first place.

After all what was it Todd once said?

"What's in it for us?"

One thing that is NOT in it for Palin are more followers, as her current followers are beyond pissed off at her attacks against Cruz. 

And boy haven't we all had heaping helpings of this lately?

Sarah Palin to interview both Donald Trump and Jeb Bush tonight. Dammit, she finally found a way to get media attention! Update!

Courtesy of Sarah "Look at me, look at me, look at me now!" Palin's Facebook page:

WTH, LAMESTREAM MEDIA! STAY OUT OF MY BIBLE WTH? 

Lamestream media asks GOP personal, spiritual "gotchas" that they'd NEVER ask Hillary, or they'd feed the question to her and/or liberal cohorts before they asked it on-air (we know how these things work, lapdog media... the public's on to you), so good on Trump for screwing with the reporter. By the way, even with my reading scripture everyday I wouldn't want to answer the guy's question either... it's none of his business; it IS personal; what the heck does it have to do with serving as commander-in-chief; and these reporters trying to trip up conservatives can go pound sand until they ask the same things of their favored liberal pals. I'll cover this in my interview with Donald Trump and other candidates tonight on the One America News Network show "On Point." The more the media does this, the more they empower America to reject them and their bias as voters run to the anti-status quo candidates daring to Go Rogue.

For those who have no idea what Palin is talking about here (But then again when do we ever know what she is talking about?), she is referring to Trump, who claimed that the Bible is his favorite book, being asked to name his favorite bible verse and being unable to do so.

Of course the reason he couldn't name a favorite verse is because he was only saying he loves the bible to pander to the fundamentalists, who are easily duped by that kind of thing.

So Palin quickly jumped to Trump's defense because, as we know, she made a name for herself by doing the exact same thing.

So now Palin has managed to lure "The Donald" over to this insignificant little cable news outlet, as well as Jeb Bush, which I am positive is the kind of thing the owners were hoping for when they gave her this temporary gig.

Look forward to going on @OANN later with @SarahPalinUSA to talk about my upcoming ebook, Reply All!

— Jeb Bush (@JebBush) August 28, 2015

That means despite her sub-par interview skills, and the fact that up until now she has garnered hardly any attention, that she just might be able to parlay this into an actual full time gig. And I might have to start transcribing her word salad again.

Oh joy.

Update: Apparently this rinky dink little cable news outlet cannot handle the attention from a Donald Trump visit. It's tiny amateurish website done crashed.

Update: Look even Donald Trump does not want to be in the same studio with the Wasilla Wendigo.

For the record not ONE of Palin's interview subjects were actually in the studio with her.

Update 2: If you are a masochist you can watch the interviews with Bush, Cruz, and Trump right here.  Good luck.

Sarah Palin' interview on Hannity last night. Is there a more WTF term than WTF?

So Hannity starts off the interview by showing an especially crazy portion of Palin's Iowa speech. (Yeah try to find a non-crazy part.)

I don't know how he THOUGHT she might react to seeing it again, but it clearly pissed her off.

He then brings up the fact that Palin was asked about running for President in 2016, and asks for her response to that question.

"I was asked by a pesky reporter while I was promoting my Sportsman Channel show 'Amazing America with Sarah Palin.'  I was if I were to be interested in at all in running for office, maybe presidency, and it's certainly not newsworthy for me to have answered 'Oh yeah I'm interested, yeah. Next question?' I think that anyone who has been blessed with an opportunity to serve the American public in different capacities, and within their own state, to not be interested would be..not..uh...standing up to what's right, and doing what's right."

Now if you think I simply made all of that up to make it appear that the woman was either drunk or batshit crazy, I assure that it is word salad for word salad.

For reasons that I can't quite fathom Hannity actually continues the interview and asks her more pointedly if she is thinking about running for the presidency. Such a slow learner.

"I along with others on a deep bench are no doubt thinking about it but it’s much too early to say whether I, and others I’m sure would answer the same way, they, would be throwing their hat in the ring.” 

In other words, "I am fucking warning you Sean to drop it!"

But Hannity refuses to listen and rephrases the question again. (Just watch Palin's face during this. Can you see the smoke coming out of her ears?)

In response to the question Palin launches into what can only be described as a diatribe that includes using her family and God as an excuse for her reticence to answer the question, and a stream of consciousnesses attack on government, and even a shot at Republicans.

At this point I don't know it Hannity is just too thick to recognize that Palin is losing her shit, or if he is passively aggressively driving her over the brink. But he follows up with a question about the criticism she received about the Iowa speech, including from the Right, and asks her if the reason was a failed teleprompter. (Hang on going to need more popcorn for this answer.)

"You know I don't read the praise, and I don't read the criticism (Bullshit!) because I know how you guys, or how the media in general works. (At this point Hannity tries to interject that he is not part of that group, but Palin isn't listening.) I'm used to teleprompters not working, remember at the GOP acceptance speech back in '08 the teleprompter broke there too, it didn't work and I kept on going so, no, I don't know I received a standing ovation throughout and at the end of the speech."

(Seriously?)

"So I don't know I think a lot of this is a herd mentality of some reporters would..uh..uh..that kind of exacerbates some of the criticism. But I don't know what anybody really would, when you talk about the meat, the content, of the speech, would criticize when I talk about courage, and integrity, and a track record of any candidate that is needed in order to, be able to, sincerely serve the people of America who deserve real hope and real change and not more of same, not more of status quo, of the old energy if you will. But we need new energy, new ideas, and as I say very, very important that we have a track record proving what works. (At this point Hannity is trying to get control of the interview back, but to no avail.) But what I also made a point of in that speech Sean, and this is important, is knowing what the media id going to do throughout 2016. And, my prediction, Hillary will be running and she will be..the..you know...the knighted candidate on the Left, and with the media. Knowing what the media is going to do, it's going to take more than a village to beat Hillary. There needs to be unity, understanding that we have that..conservatives have that strike against us right off the bat, that being the media. Even there on Fox, you know kind of a quasi or assumed conservative outlet, and we have all day listen to the tease of Bill O'Reilly, he's talking about the guests on his show tonight, or the commentary on his show, and that would be oh all these...uh...GOP contenders thinking about running for president, like Donald Trump, Sarah Palin, and he names them off, he says 'Oh what a reality show that would be. Yuck yuck.' Well the Left doesn't do that okay they..they..they take this serious. Because this is war, and hopefully the media, even the quasi Right side of the media, won't be looking at us as some kind of reality show. A joke. Because maybe they have theirs (Hannity tries again to gain control, and fails.)so they're taken care of, they're fine. No the people of America deserve the best, and competition through a GOP primary, whether a Bill O'Reilly or somebody else assumes it's a reality show or not, they deserve that competition to surface the competitor who can take on Hillary, or whomever it may be, and win for this country."

Sooooo, DID the teleprompter go out?

Wait, did she just attack Bill O'Reilly, the biggest star on Fox News? Damn, she is way off her meds!

Essentially this interview simply sounds like a part deux of her crazy speech in Iowa. It's like she woke up, felt she had more batshit that needed to be let out, and called up Fox News to provide a forum.

Incredibly Hannity continues to try and get Palin to say if she is running, and asks her if she were what would be the things she would run on and offers her a list of choices.

Her response is to say "Check, check, check, those absolutely."  And then follows up with a string of conservative talking points spewed out in a hyperactive rat-a-tat-tat of verbal shrapnel.

Hannity takes one last stab at getting Palin to give odds on whether she is running but she refuses to take the bait, and Hannity finally has to admit defeat.

The take away from all of this, besides a massive migraine, is that Palin was bullshitting about a run in 2016, which of course everybody with a handful of brains cells to rub together already knew, and that she is essentially coming apart at the seams.

I predict that her next SarahPAC filings will be the lowest ones yet.

She is finished. Anything that happens to her from this point on is almost beside the point.

After her rabid rant on Facebook, her diatribe on Breitbart, and a Facebook video of her diatribe on Breitbart, Sarah Palin brings it all home with a venomous interview on Fox News. Yikes!

Resplendent in John Boehner brand Oompa Loompa skin tanner and wearing a modified shower curtain with her wig firmly stapled and shellacked into place, responds to a question from Hannity about whether she is serious about he republicans impeaching President Obama.

"Yes, it is time. A great awakening is due in this country, and this is the message that will be sent to our President, that he is not an imperial president, and lawlessness will not be accepted by the American people. That's not what he was elected to do, is to create his own laws as he goes along. I think it's time...a little less talk a lot more action. When we see even GOP lawmakers who are recognizing and proclaiming Obama's violation of the Constitution, and then ignoring that Constitution, and the power they have to impeach...gets kind of frustrating for the American people. Somebody needs to look out for the working class Americans and the tipping point in this drive towards impeachment for me has been the illegal immigration issue, the crisis created by Obama, where nobody is looking out for the working class of Americans, including good, hardworking, wonderful, legal immigrants. Impeachment is a message that has to be sent to our President that we're not going to put up with this lawlessness."

Hannnity then tries to list some reasons that the Republicans might be able to impeach the President, none of which would pass the smell test.

"Yes, and it also means lying to the American people, and it means fraud. He has allowed fraud...his..his subordinates, and he himself, to fraud the American people on these programs, these policies, that he promised will work or will not impact debt or deficit. These have been lies by our President. Yes, those are impeachable offenses. Sean, experts, attorneys, they have a list of at least 25 impeachable offenses. (I believe she got that list from this blog which lists among other "offenses" Fast and Furious, the IRS targeting of Republicans, and Obama's "attack" on Christianity.) Now GOP lawmakers know this too, I really want Congress to do its job. The constitutional power that they HAVE to halt an imperial presidency. To halt this fundamental transformation of America that is making us an unrecognizable mess of a nation at this time."

Hannity then quotes Jonathon Turley to provide support for Palin's crazy statements, as well as Right Wing radio host Mark Levin who he calls a "constitutional scholar," and a poll on Drudge that, believe it or not, finds that 70% of Americans believe the President should be impeached.

But then he also brings up the fact that Pat Buchanan said that pursuing impeachment would be a political loser for Republicans, and asks if that should matter.

"I think politics come into play more when you consider not rocking the boat, if you will, and allowing the liberalism agenda to fail on its own. I..I..that's kind of a political bent right there. And with all due respect to Pat Buchanan, and I do respect his opinion, I disagree with him. I think, you know keep politics out of this then. (WTF? This whole thing is political.) This is a bipartisan issue. (No it's not!) Americans! Congress! Those who are concerned about protecting our Constitution, and using the one tool that Congress does have to halt what is going on. This lawlessness coming from the top. The one tool they have are articles of impeachment, let's get going on that. And it's not necessarily Sean. A lawsuit being filed by Congress? Because you don't bring a lawsuit to a gun fight. (Again, WTF?) And there's no place for lawyers on the front lines. (She does know that Congress is filled with lawyers right?) Where are the front lines in America? They are our borders!"

Hannity tries to diffuse the crazy a little by agreeing with her but then adds that he has no confidence that Congress would have the "courage," or political backbone, to do this.

"That they don't have the cojones to do it, if that's what you mean? Sean you're absolutely right."

Hannity then claims he was trying to be more delicate.

"I know, I know. Not me man I...mumbling...go rogue. I'll say what I want to say. Sean absolutely man. Bingo, when you say wait a minute they had constitutional tool to unfund Obamacare, and that was just fulfilling all of their campaign promises, that they were going to repeal Obamacare right? Look what happened to the one, or two, or three good guys like Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, who stood up to fulfill their constitutional duty, and their campaign promises, man they got thrown under the bus. And the view is not very good from under the bus. (Yeah just ask Trooper Wooten, Frank Bailey, and Walt Monegan.) Well the American people, I believe, are going to say this time...this go around...no okay we learned our lesson. And it will be us. We get the government that we support. We get the government obviously that we vote for, but that we put up with. How about we don't put up with this lawlessness. Washington is broken. If people care about the future of this country, and defense of our republic, they will join this cause of articles of impeachment against Barack Obama because enough is enough.

Finally Hannity asks if Palin is still considering leaving the Republican party.

"I've been a Republican since I was 18 years old, so wholeheartedly believed in EVERY plank in the platform. The planks in the platform will make this country strong, and safe, secure again Sean. So I hate to think that the Republican party is going to be leaving me, I don't want to leave it, but if it leaves me, and if it keeps straying towards that liberal failed agenda that the Left, that Barack Obama just exudes then yeah, I am not going to hesitate to unenlisting myself from a party that you know I just can't support anymore."

And right now Republicans all over the country are fervently praying that she is not bluffing about leaving their party.

Okay my hands are tired from typing all of this out, so I leave it to all of you to add the much needed snark.

And I have every confidence in your ability to do so.

P.S. Oh and for those truly sadistic among you here is the video of Palin's word for word rendition of her Breitbart article from her Facebook page.

Palin's CPAC speech in its entirety. Might need a cocktail to get through this. Update!

Of course Palin is introduced by a representative of the NRA.

After that they play that Palin propaganda film that SarahPAC paid for awhile back.

After that Palin strides to the podium to thunderous applause.  (Well thunderous for CPAC anyhow.)

She carries with her a white three ring notebook, which means her ghostwritten speech must have been too long to fit on her palms this time.

By the way this thing is over thirty minutes long so if you think I am going to transcribe the whole thing, well you have another think coming.

Palin starts off mocking Obamacare, and claims that the youth who supported Obama are "suckers" because they end up paying the health care bills for the rest of us.

She also mocks MSNBC, who she derisively calls MSLSD, for predicting that the country is leaning to the left.

She makes a number of little quips about not being able to access the Healthcare.org website, or being able to make a phone call without Michele Obama knowing.  Whatever THAT means.

She claimed that since 2012 the country had become wiser, and now knew:

"There ain't no such thing as a free lunch. There is no free birth control. There's no free phone. There's no free doctor visits. There's no free Fritos. There's no free ride. Someone pays, someone always pays. And if you don't know who that someone is, it's probably you."

Of course if you are a Palin there ARE free doctor visits, and fortunately for them SarahPAC pays for the rest.

Except the birth control, because which Palin would be caught dead using that?

"Hopefully those social engineering politicos learned something as well. Americans are not quite as obedient as they thought we were. See they set up a lot of hoops. Making us pay for insurance that we don't want, don't need. Telling us 'Ahh there's nothing to see in Benghazi, move along, move along.' Nor at the IRS. Nothing amiss. Not even a smidgeon. Making us bear the brunt of that dopey wobbling on the world stage. But we didn't jump through those hoops the way we were supposed to. It's like you all went rogue."

Red meat, get your bloody red meat here!

Nothing but Right Wing talking points as far as the eye can see.

Palin gives Ted Cruz a reach around for trying to stop Obamacare, and chastises the Republican "army" for joining with the Lamestream media in trashing Cruz and others who did not realize the battle was lost.

Palin then does the unthinkable and referring to the fact that Cruz read from Dr. Suess during his faux filibuster, claims to now read her own modified version of "Green Eggs and Ham" to poor little Trig.

"I do not like this Uncle Sam. I do not like his healthcare scam. I do not like these dirty crooks, or how they lie and cook the books. I do not like when Congress stills, I do not like their crony dills. I do not like this spying man. I do not like 'Oh yes we can.' I do not like this spending spree. We're smart we know there's nothing free. I do not like reporter's smug replies when I complain about their lies. I do not like this kind of hope. And we won't take it nope, nope, nope."

And that my friends is how SarahPAC fees for speech writers is spent.

You know I would feel badly for Trig if I even for a moment believed she actually read to him.

Palin trots out most of her worn out talking points, crony capitalism, big government, liberal elites, fundamentally transforming the country, clingers and wingers, Republican establishment, the shining city on the hill, you've heard it all before.

I will say that Palin is more polished then she has been in recent appearances but her word salad is just as thoroughly tossed as usual.

At one point the crowd starts chanting "Run Sarah, Run." Which I assume is what you get when your reality television show ponies up $9,000 to help pay for the event.

Her response, "I should. I did not get to run this morning. I was so busy man."

And that was just about all I could take.

I need to reread my contract because NOBODY should have to sit through two sessions of Sarah Palin's batshit crazy word salad in one day.

If she said anything else of interest, and you manage to last long enough to hear it, just leave it in the comments sections for us to mock.

I think I need a drink.

Update: Here is what Media Matters took away:

Palin mocked Obama for projecting weakness on the world stage in the midst of the crisis in Ukraine, taking a page out of the NRA book to tell him, “The only good thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke!” And she also turned the tables of the War on Women back on the Democrats, saying that “liberals seem to think that the women of America are just cheap dates” who they can condescend to on women’s issues.” 

She rallied feminists in the GOP to stand up and be heard, because “donkeys just bray, only mama grizzlies can say, ‘Hear me roar!’”

Yep, I figured the speech would just keep getting dumber.

Update 2: From Politico:  

Palin also devoted a section of her speech to women in the audience, urging them to resist Democratic entreaties after a year filled with partisan fights over Obamacare’s women’s health care provisions and calls by some in the GOP to retool the party’s message to women. 

“Women, don’t let them use you unless you choose to be their political pawn or just their piece of accessory on their arm,” Palin said. “Honey, that’s not liberation. That’s subjugation, and this sisterhood fights against that.” 

She spoke shortly after the announcement that Paul had won CPAC’s presidential straw poll. Palin took 2 percent of the votes, tied with figures such as Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal and former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, after she flirted with a run in 2011. 

Well so much for being the darling of the conservative right.

Update 3: Hey guess who plagiarized that Dr. Suess bit.

Sarah Palin opens her mouth and shows Greta the pre-chewed word salad she intends to vomit all over the audience at CPAC later today.

Let's see I should probably start off by saying something nice.

Something nice, something nice, something nice. There.

Okay seriously I will say that she is on better medications than she was during her LAST appearance on Fox News. At least she does not look half embalmed this time.

But is she any more articulate?

Yeah, right.

Let's see she still hates Obamacare, wants it repealed. (I'm sorry "repilled.")

When Greta asks how the Republican party can attract lower income people to the GOP, which of course is conservative speak for non-whites, this was Palin's response:

"That's exactly what the planks in the platform of the Republican party are supposed to be standing...we stand on that, that's what they are supposed to be representing is equal opportunity for everyone. To apply self initiative so that they can all be lifted up."

Did you get that poor people? The Republican party HAS been trying to help you, but you are too un-self initialized to let them.

When Greta decided to press Palin about the REALLY underprivileged and how the party can reach them, Palin goes further down a racist rabbit hole.

"Well you know a practical way to entice them to understand what the Republican party is all about, at least what we Conservatives are all about,  is to show examples of those who have grown up in less than ideal conditions, and succeeded because they've decided they will not be dependent upon a MASTER called government. They will do it themselves. They will adopt a work ethic. And though, you know, they don't have a silver spoon they...they will create that by working very hard and seizing every opportunity. You can only do that in America."

This sounds like a solid plan, if you are an idiot and do not realize that you know nothing about what it is like to be born black and poor in America. It is kind of hard to develop a "work ethic" when there is no work.

And as for that "master" comment concerning government? Well that is just straight up racist.

Greta then gives Palin the opportunity to attack the media for not giving her accolades for predicting that Putin would invade the Ukraine.

“I don’t like an unfair, biased media unless they declare that, of course they are biased, that they’re opinion talkers. Those that are supposed to be journalists getting the who, what, when, where and why for the people to be able to decide themselves an issue? No, I don’t like those who so interject their own opinion that they become very unfair.” 

Okay does anybody else realize that she simply described herself, and the cable news channel she is currently appearing on, in that paragraph? Or was that just me?

So it comes time for Greta to ask Palin who she likes in the 2016 presidential race.

Actually Palin refuses to endorse any of the current crop of wannabes, though of course she likes Ted Cruz and Rand Paul, but suggests instead that it should be somebody outside of politics that gets the nomination. A business person, or family man or woman perhaps. (Donald Trump?)

So Greta asked the obligatory "Do you have any plans to run" question. And Palin provides the obligatory non-answer:

"Sounds cliche, but you never say never. Now at this point I don't have a team of people you know getting out there doing these poll tested...whatever to let you know if you should run or not. I don't have any of that organization going. I'll never say never. It depends on what it is that Americans want, really, really want in a candidate.  If they want a fighter, if they want someone who can so respect our exceptionalism, everything that makes America great, the promise of America. And if we don't find that? Then I would run."

Okay was that a threat? That sounded like a threat.

So America do we want a self involved, fake Christian, racist, Ronald Reagan fawning, moron who respects something called "exceptionalism" in the White House?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Yet more crazy gibberish from Sarah Palin today. This time on Fox News.

Clearly Palin is on the show to pimp her ghostwritten Breitbart op-ed which we picked apart earlier today.

I had a hard time taking in all of her rabid talking points because I was distracted by what looks like a hollowed out donkey's ass sitting on her head.

It was SO stiff that it did not move even a little bit as she raged and spit venom about "GOP elephants" and their lack of courage in "repilling" Obamacare.

She of course is all in for Ted Cruz and his hostage taking techniques, and very upset by the rest of the establishment GOP folks who seem dead set against allowing Cruz to destroy the party.

At one point, while referring to the establishment Republicans as "elephants" Palin invokes her father:

"What is surprising though is...my dad who is a science teacher and a natural history teacher...Dad if you're watching this morning. If you're out of moose camp already and you're home. You are a teacher and you never told me that elephants were cannibalistic. I wish I would have known, and then we would have a different tactic in he way that we do campaigning."

I literally have NO idea what that was supposed to mean but she seemed very pleased with herself after saying it.

When the host (Let's call her Fox News Barbie for right now.) explains to Palin that the "elephants" she is referring to include John McCain, and that they say the plan to defund Obamacare is "not rational," Palin accuses them of "waving a white flag" and giving in to the Liberals.

She also claims that there is "mischief" going on:

"The mischief, in this case, are other very big things going on in the world that Obama would like to see distracted out minds away from. Things like...oh perhaps he'd like ta lob missiles into some foreign country's civil war with no intention of having those missiles actually impact the outcome of that war?" (WTF?)

Fox News Barbie then tells Bible Thumping Barbie that she has a Twitter question for her (At which point you can see Palin swallow hard) from an audience member (Whew!)

The host then asks her about whether or not she might be in the running for Senator Begich's seat, but Palin quickly says it does not have to be her who challenges him, and then changes the subject some bullshit about coal.

However Fox News Barbie refuses to let Palin off so easily and asks her again, at which time you can see the Grizzled Mama's hackles going up and she gets a little testy, finally using her children as a deflection, saying she wants to "keep them nice and pure."

Yeah, somehow the phrase "nice and pure" and Palin children don't really go together for me. How about you guys?

She is then asked whether she would endorse any of the GOP Senate hopefuls in Alaska, and she says she would. (You can almost hear Joe Miller and Mead Treadwell screaming "Nooo!" from here.)

Another Twitter question asks if she thinks Benghazi will have any impact on Hillary's ability to run for President.

Her answer:

"If it doesn't have an impact on the 2016presidenital election if she is a candidate, then America I am very disappointed in our electorate, because anyone who would just throw away two hundred years of our military ethos and leave our men behind to be murdered, in Benghazi  in this case, no that person should never be considered as a Commander-in-Chief. "

Did this nasty bitch just accuse Hillary Clinton of purposefully allowing the men in Benghazi to be murdered?

Oh she is biting off way MORE than she could possibly chew. She better goddamn hope that Hillary ignores these remarks or the next shoe print on somebody's behind will be sporting high heels.

Personally I don't know WHY Palin bothered to show up on Fox today, as she had already filled the news cycle with stupidity from her ghostwritten op-ed and from her hastily taken down tweet. However if she were intelligent I guess she might actually have a real job in politics.

It's a word salad overload as once Sarah Palin's string gets pulled she can't stop babbling.

"Look at me! Look at me! Now pay me!"

Apparently part of Palin's penance for being so damn difficult the first time she was under contract is that now she has to actually show up in the Fox studios and answer questions for every Tom, Dick, and bigger Dick that asks her to.

Here is an interview from Wednesday for a radio program I've never heard of in which she says false and ridiculous things to an audience of ignorant and racist listeners.

Lying about the Founders:

"...it's a battle for the soul of the country. I remember it was our founders who dedicated this land to God and asked God to protect and bless this land. As we’ve strayed from that – it’s no wonder we have the challenges we do."

Everything about that is wrong.  The only people who believe that the challenges facing the country are due to a lack of faith in God, are televangelists and people smearing their feces on the wall of a padded cell.

On why Bristol's appearance on DWTS is in response to the liberal take over of the media. (No I'm NOT joking!):

"We should not shy away from trying to have a positive impact on the rest of the country. Why let the liberals take over the media? That’s bogus. That’s why I don’t have a problem with Bristol being on ‘Dancing With the Stars’ and being on other shows. Why not let the good guys get out there and express some of their views and perhaps to have an opportunity to be a good testimony."

So for those keeping score, the children of lying hypocrites who quit their jobs halfway through, are the "good guys" and everybody else must be the "bad guys." Uh huh.

By the way, what exactly does "have an opportunity to be a good testimony" mean?

On the newest upcoming Right Wing bulk buying bestseller that she will have relatively little input with:

"The book is about protecting the heart of Christmas – it’s good tidings and great joy. It’s a fun, festive book – but it also offers some legalese on how to fight back and not allow the heart of Christmas to be taken out of America. It’s going to be a fun book because it’s about tradition –what we do in Alaska to celebrate – good recipes all mixed together in a very uplifting and optimistic inspiring book. You are empowered – you don’t have to let the politically correct push you back."

The "heart of Christmas?"  Is that like Frosty the Snowman's magical hat?

Apparently for Christmas Palin is giving away bowls of methamphetamine flavored word salad.

(P.S. By the way what we in Alaska do to celebrate Christmas is essentially what all the rest of you do to celebrate Christmas. It's just a little darker outside, that's all.)

On the possibility of stopping Fundamentalists from forcefully proselytizing to young soldiers in the military:

"Our young men and women are putting their lives on the line to protect our freedoms – including the right to express our faith. I think it’s quite shameful that our government would thwart that freedom. We’re telling them to get out there and fight for the rest of us to be free but we’re going to take away your rights? That’s ridiculous."

Once again NOBODY is suggesting that somebody cannot "express" their faith. The problem is that these young men and women, who are supposedly "fighting for our freedoms," are forced to participate in prayer groups and religious activities, regardless of their own faith or lack of faith, and punished for not doing so.

I guess this freedom that Palin speaks of does not pertain to freedom for the people putting their lives in danger to protect it.

So what we learn from Palin's return to the Fox News stable is that she has only grown wilder and more unpredictable, and that if she were an actual horse, in an actual stable, she would be put out to pasture, or perhaps dispatched to make way for a newer less botoxed horse.

Speaking of the Palin curse, look what these poor idiots had to endure.

Courtesy of NewsChief:  

The 2008 Republican vice presidential candidate visited the Sunshine State at the request of the organizers of the school's seventh annual leadership forum. She was quite a presence on the stage, in a lipstick-red suit and fierce high heels. 

Her passionate talk was peppered with such vibrant cries as "Cling to your God, your guns, your Constitution!" and pleas for the next generation to change the country's moral fiber. "That will make our foundation crumble if we choose to ignore it," she said. 

Not one to tiptoe around sensitive topics, Palin got right to the point on reasons she said the country is in crisis. 

"Today, look around, and don't you wonder sometimes if, as a nation, we have forgotten God altogether? This is a crucial question," she said. 

Palin said the school asked her to talk about hope and resilience. She said she would but "not that Washington, D.C., ‘hopey-changey' blah, blah, blah stuff, but real hope." 

Mostly, the 49-year-old hammered such topics as the corruption of Washington, D.C. — "It's a hotbed of cronyism" — and federal spending — "The federal government is bloated, corrupt and out-of-control."

"Fierce high heels?" THAT was the takeaway from her appearance?

Of course it was because this is the same regurgitated word salad that Palin has been spewing for the last four years.

I have NO idea where all of that SarahPAC money earmarked for speech writing goes because the woman has been giving different versions of the same speech for virtually her entire time on the national stage, peppered occasionally with some bizarre, ear torturing phrase just to spice things up and get some media attention.

However it is very hard to feel sorry for this audience since they HAD to know what they were getting. Palin has learned that all she has to do is pepper her speech with religious references and these Christian organizations will gladly hire her.  (For a bargain basement rate I am sure.) If they would only do a little research, say read Dunn, McGinniss, or Frank Bailey's book, I think they would quickly recognize the complete lack of Christian morality that permeates Palin's life choices and attitude toward others.

But hey, if she is willing to dress up in "fierce high heels" perhaps they simply don't care.

You know being so "Christ centered"and everything.

Sarah Palin did not really pay attention to the convention speeches but Fox News asks her opinion anyhow. Even Brit Hume calls this what it is.

Click hair helmet to play video

She is not welcome at the convention. Nobody really cares about her opinion. But dammit she DOES have a contract with Fox News, so they felt obligated to allow the Grizzled One to spew stupidity about a convention that the restraining order keeps her from seeing from essentially ANY house.

Stereotypical blonde Fox bimbo journalist Megyn Kelly: "Governor, welcome to you, what did you think of what you heard tonight?"

Sarah Palin, wearing her safety hair helmet in case she stumbles over her stupidity and bangs her bony head on the ground: "Oh there was fulfillment of what the expectations of convention speeches are, and that is inspiration, it's encouragement, it's a hope provided us that this time politicians aren't just going to talk the talk, but really there's a commitment to walk the walk in doing the right thing for 'We the People' and turning things around. I think those speeches fulfilled that."

Now if Megyn Kelly were a REAL reporter her follow up question here should have been either "What the fuck did you just say?" or perhaps "Are you high right now?" But instead Kelly simply let's the mooseshit slide but does follow up with this zinger:

"Did it take you back at all Governor (Who is this "Governor she keeps referencing? This phony walked off that job three years ago.) to four years ago when YOU were out there?

Oooh THAT hurt! 

Pained expression Palin replies: "Uh you know I really didn't really think so much about THAT (You BITCH!) I was really concentrating on the content of these speeches and thankful that Governor Romney's wife praised working moms, who are multitasking and doing so much as they're concerned about all of our kid's futures. I was thankful that that is what she seemed to concentrate on and she being so sympathetic and she, reality being you know her own kids probably don't have to worry about material needs in the future you know they've been quite blessed and privileged (Boy did I marry the wrong guy!), but she's quite sympathetic to the REST of Americans. the middle class and she wants to help to make sure the economy's on the right track so that all of our kids and benefit, and very thankful to that Chris Christie, he got to that point about our actual nominee Mitt Romney, and his qualifications, thinking big and having big solutions to the big problems and not engaging in the pettiness, the division that IS the Obama campaign."

So essentially Palin manages to point out that Ann Romney is out of touch with the Middle Class, that Chris Christie took a LONG ass time to finally mention the candidate, and projected the current GOP divisiveness onto the Obama campaign (Hello Ron Paul supporters).

After this nasty little exchange Bret Baier steps in to schmooze the lipstick smeared pitbull by once again bringing up the false myth that Palin's teleprompter went out during HER convention speech, and commending her on what a good job she did back then.

This allows Palin to launch into the same old attacks on President Obama and exit the interview on a relative high note. Though to be honest it looked like she might have been high for ALL of the notes.

One has to wonder how long it will be before Roger Ailes figures out that Palin is actively saying shit to undermine the Republican party and sabotage the candidate chosen by Fox News.

Cause she kinda is.

P.S. For those who thought they distinctly heard Brit Hume say the word "salad" off camera at the 1:35 mark, you are exactly right. 

@bassmaster12 @stacy_drake This is almost comical. Mic picked up a snatch of an off-camera conversation I was having. The word was "salad."
— Brit Hume (@Kimsfirst) August 29, 2012

See? Even the Fox News folks know that what she spews is nothing but jumbled up word salad!

No wonder we NEVER see her do interviews with Hume.

Word salad is NOT a part of this healthy breakfast! Sarah Palin lowers the median IQ on the Today Show. Update!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Simply put Palin brings her Fox News sideshow like quality to the Today Show, by spewing the same tired, overused catchphrases, and talking points, that she ALWAYS vomits forth.

Attacking the President, changing the pitch of her voice to scare small children and house pets, and demonstrating an almost stunning lack of intellect about the issues of the day, Palin once again embarrasses women everywhere, Alaskans in general, and, the Doctor Frankenstein to this pathetic creature, the Republication party as well.

I will give Matt Lauer credit for at least attempting to call Palin out on a few of her misstatements and lies, but he lets extraordinarily obvious bullshit remarks go by unchallenged. The President's ability to impact the price of gas being one of them.

Watch Palin's face toward the end of the interview to see it start to contort in response to Matt making the case that she may have been TOO inexperienced to have been put on the national stage by John McCain.  I don't think she enjoyed hearing THAT at all.

In a few minutes Palin joins Donny Deustch, Star Jones, and Nancy Snyderman.  This should be entertaining as well.

Update: The Wall Street Journal has a live blog that you can see here.

On Hannity show Palin expresses desire for candidate who is "not flip flopping around like a halibut getting ready to be clubbed." Hmm, who could she be describing?

Click wig to play interview

My very favorite quote from this entire interview comes at the beginning when, after Hannity honors his Fox contract by asking Wig-zilla who she will endorse, she responds with, and I kid you not: "Well I still think my endorsement is probably not worth a hill of beans, nor maybe is my advice." (Hey, that's what I was thinking!)

Then, without taking a breath, she says this: "But my advice to Florida voters would be to ask themselves which candidate is able to recapture that American exceptionalism that we all benefited from under Ronald Reagan."

So essentially she quite correctly warns the audience that her advise is not worth "a hill of beans" right before she starts rapidly vomiting it forth into people's living rooms. Gee and she was so close to having an epiphany too.

After that statement Snowdrift Snooki engages in the typical Ronald Reagan necrophilia by repeating his name in a rapid fashion, while all but rubbing one out on camera. Truly a disgusting display.

Apparently somebody introduced Palin to the ramblings of economist Art Laffer, whose name she starts to rapidly repeat like a Tourrette's patient tweaking from methamphetamine's. (Laffer was most recently in the news as being the only economist in the country willing to support Herman Cain's 9-9-9 plan. Yeah let's all take advice from THAT guy!)

Is Rand Paul the male version of Sarah Palin?

This from DailyKosTV:



Here is the transcipt:

The tea party movement is huge. The mandate of our victory tonight is huge…

The tea party movement is about saving the country from a mountain of debt that is devouring our country and I think could lead to chaos…

I think we stand on a precipice, we are encountering a day of reckoning…

We have a President who went to Copenhagen and appeared with Robert Mugabe, Hugo Chavez, and others — Evo Morales — to apologize for the industrial revolution. … These petty dictators say that to stop climate change it’s about ending capitalism. … The president by attending Copenhagen gives credibility and credence to these folks and he should not go…

When we had a crisis recently, when we had a crisis and things were tetering in the balance, people blamed capitalism, wrongly so. It was government! It’s the government that needs to be regulated…

People are already saying now you need to weave and dodge, now you need to switch. Now you need to give up your conservative message, you need to become a moderate. You need to give up the tea party. You need to distance yourself. [Shakes head.] The tea party message is not a radical message. It’s not an extreme message…

I’m humbled by this victory tonight, I’m humbled by your support. I hope you’ll fight on with us until November and I thank you very much for coming out tonight. Let’s have a party!

For contrast here is Sarah Palin with Sean Hannity on Tuesday night.



Same broad generalizations.  Same specific talking points peppered throughout speech.  Same.....word salad.

And one more thing, and I hate to be petty but sometimes things just catch my eye as wrong and I can't stop focusing on them, have you noticed his hair?  It appears that not only might Rand and Sarah share  the same speechwriter, they also might share the same wigmaker. 

Update: By the way did anybody else notice that Sarah seemed to think that in Pennsylvania Tim Burns (who lost by the way) was running against Arlen Spector instead of Mark Critz? (Check it for yourself at the 2:48 mark)

Why, oh why does ANYBODY think this woman has a clue as to what she is talking about?

Hey is she reading off of what I THINK she is reading off of?

Watch CBS News Videos Online

Busted!

Sarah Palin to give a speech that she does not want YOU to hear.

Sarah Palin, the former governor of Alaska who last year contested for the office of US Vice-President, undoubtedly enjoys a lot of media attention at every point in her life. Media has commented on her political as well as personal life and now it appears that she is justly upset with the onslaught aimed at her and wants to prohibit the media from covering her events further. According to the reports, Sarah Palin’s speech on December 2, in the College of the Ozarks, will not get any kind of media coverage.

Elizabeth Andrews, the director of public relations of this school in one of her statements declared that the terms of the contract were mutually agreed upon by Mrs. Palin and the school authorities. Therefore, media rights to telecast this event would be curbed. She said, though media representatives will not be allowed to carry any equipment for audio and video recording at the event, they will be provided tickets to remain present in the program. It has also been reported that Sarah Palin will sign copies of ‘Going Rogue’ but it has not yet been confirmed whether any media representatives will be allowed to cover that event either.

It may confuse people as to why Palin would even bother to give a speech if she did not want very many people to hear it. But I know why.

It is because of this speech.

(You can see part two here. If you can stomach it. If you cannot stand to watch it you can simply read AKMuckraker's brilliant transcript here.)

It was after the media got a hold of THIS bizarre, wandering, spiteful speech filled with word salad and stolen bits of a speech given by Newt Gingrich, that Sarah Palin decided that she had had enough. The next speech in which the media was invited, and only given 55 minutes to attend, was her resignation speech.

Sarah Palin was so upset and frustrated that the media (and bloggers, yes I was there too) had found so much wrong with her speech that she was simply terrified at what might happen in the future.

So she quit. She essentially said take this job and shove, I ain't working here no more. (That one is for you dad.)

And then Sarah Palin turned to Twitter. And so did we. As it turned out Palin was just as ridiculously bizarre on Twitter as she was in person. So ridiculous in fact that it inspired the Tonight Show to have William Shatner read them as rambling beatnik poetry. So somebody hid her Blackberries from her. (She owes that person her eternal gratitude by the way.)

And then came Facebook. Only this time she had a ghostwriter to help her. Though it really did not help that much. Sure the sentences were punctuated properly, and somebody introduced a little concept called footnotes, but crazy Palin ideas are still crazy, even with all of the comma's in the right places.

Next came Sarah Palin's "Book of Lies".

A book so full of fabrications that if they were removed the book would only be about 70 pages long.

And, as all of you know, the media has been having a field day with this latest attempt by Sarah Palin to communicate with the masses.

It has become so bad that Palin will not even allow a film crew in to record her talking to her fans while autographing their books. Paranoid much?

Look I have some advice for Sarah.

Hi Sarah. Remember me? Of course you do, you even once wrote down my license plate number. (Yet you never call.)

If you REALLY want people to stop making fun of you, or pointing out that you are crazy, you need to do one simple thing. Shut up and sit down.

Yes, yes, yes I know that is the one thing you hate to be told (well that and the fact that Levi has a book deal), but let's face it as long as you keep talking, people will keep listening. And as long as we can still hear you, we can still tell that you are batshit crazy.

You have money. You have a brand new compound. You have your cosmetic surgery. Why not simply move on to what is we all know will be your ultimate destination. Selling cheap jewelry on QVC. And spare yourself all of the embarrassment of standing up in front of people and trying to make some kind of sense. We all know you can't do that, so why even try?

So you have a nice day Ms. Palin. And remember, your worst enemy is that person staring back at you in the mirror. Isn't it time you just fired her stupid ass?