"Stop hitting your brother or I will spank you!", and other mixed messages we are sending our children.

How does one determine how civilized they are?

Is it based on our technology? Our Democracy? How we treat the least amongst us? Or is it how we respond to aggression?

I spend most of my time working with children. I am forever telling them to "use their words", "be nice", "let's not call each other names", and many other perfectly reasonable directions like that. However with the news full of bombings, shootings, beatings, and other acts of aggression, I have noticed a look of confusion on the faces of my charges. Sometimes followed by some hard questions.

"Why did our bombs kill those people? Are they bad?"
"Are we killing the bad guys in the war?"
"How come they left those bodies in the street after the flood?"
"Why are people starving? Can't we give them food?"

I try to answer as many questions as I can. Sometimes I find myself saying something even I don't believe. One of the kids wants to know why George Bush is still president if he makes so many mistakes? That one really stumps me.

When I really put my mind to it I really have to question just how civilized we have become. We stand at the beginning of the 21st century and we seem only inches from where we were when the 19th century began.

• There is still racial disparity in America. We speak of racial harmony and fairness, but when a crisis like Katrina comes it strips away the facade and shows the world just how unfair our country really is to those with few resources. And most of them are minorities.
• We still respond to aggression and non-compliance from our citizens with force.
• We are still trying to control our children through aggression.
• We are still using our military to deal with other countries.

These are only a few examples of how limited our growth has been toward the ideal of an intelligent benevolent race that is above petty disagreements and prejudices. When we look at the world we see it through the prism of our own experiences. A black man in America sees the world differently then a Japanese man in Tokyo does. A Filipino man cannot relate to a man from Kenya.

As a test just think of the most recent disaster in a foreign land and the number of dead. You feel a vague sense of sadness. Now imagine that same disaster in the middle of your community. Imagine that among the dead are faces that you recognize, not friends, just people you have seen. The feelings are stronger. You feel worse.

We attach more importance to people who are like us. They look like us. Or they live near us. Or they share our religion. The more different they are the less emotional our attachment.

So my question is how civilized are we? How much value do we place on the lives of others? How willing are we to sacrifice for these people? What do we teach our children? Do we continue the status quo? Or do we teach them to be better then we are? Can't we teach them to strive to understand cultures not like our own? To be more patient with those who are hurt or angry? To love them even if they don't love us?

I know that it seems like I am talking about a religious view of the world, but I am not! It is my firm belief that religion is the reason that we have such incredible hate in the world. Muslims hate Jews! Christians fear Humanists. Sikhs often clash with Buddhists. Protestants and Catholics have fought for centuries in Ireland. No, religion is not the answer in my opinion. The answer is education. If we understand other people, see them as we see ourselves, then we can strive for a peaceful resolution to all of our future conflicts. As long as we continue to teach our children hatred and intolerance we do them and our planet a great harm.

Let's give Evolution a little help here, shall we?