Attention perverts! There are new restrictions in place for bringing sex toys and lubricants onto airplanes. Well there go my vacation plans!

If you're thinking about joining the mile-high club, going on a second honeymoon, or taking a trip to rendezvous with your sex buddy, you'll have to be careful where you pack your lube and sex toys, or risk going through an embarrassing delay in the airport security queue. Traveling with sex toys has always been a bit dicey, but with recent events it's gotten even trickier.

Lubes are still permitted if packed in checked luggage, but that won't help you any if you were hoping to use them in flight. If you want to get it on in the airplane lavatory, but don't want to do it dry, be prepared and carry a lubricated condom or two. And when packing your bottle of lube or massage oil in your checked luggage, put the bottle inside a sealable Ziploc bag to prevent any leaking caused by changes in altitude in a nonpressurized cargo hold. A handful of sealed "single serving" pillow packs of lube can also be handy for traveling.

In addition to the ban on liquids and gels, all electronic devices are now required to be removed from carry on baggage and placed in separate trays before screening. This means that while technically you still can bring your vibrator on the plane with you, you're expected to take it out and put it in full view in one of those plastic bins before it goes through the X-ray machine. Some people suggest traveling with "discreet" vibrators - vibrators made to look like a hairbrush or lipstick, for example. But these days, any electrical device that's disguised might seem more suspicious, so you might be better off going with a vibrator design that's simply abstract and nondescript.

Are you writing this down?

Now see how informative and helpful my little site can be? Where would you be without my timely advice?

Spread eagle against an airport wall while some underpaid security gestapo member holds up all of your sex toys for the whole terminal to see that's where!

You're welcome.