Sarah Palin, sexualizing politics since 1996.

There were a number of strange things that jumped out at me during the premiere of Sarah Palin's "political advertisement hiding inside of a reality show," but the one thing that kept teabagging me in the face was the unnecessary and gratuitous use of sexual imagery.

Now anybody who watches reality programming, like "The Jersey Shore." "Kendra," "The Kardashians," etc., is aware that exposing a little skin and engaging in some naughty talk attracts the viewers like flies to cow pies.  After all these shows are designed specifically to awaken the voyeur in all of us.

However to have a middle aged, possible Presidential hopeful follow that formula is a little....well let's go with disconcerting.

Though I guess we should not find it that surprising considering that Palin used her rapidly deteriorating sexuality to get mushy editorial love letters from the male dominated American press when John McCain first plucked her from the wilds of Wasilla. And that using sex to get attention and compliance is nothing new since, according to Vanity Fair, she even did that back in the days when she was working with the city council of Wasilla: “Once, while Sarah was preparing for a city-council meeting, she said, ‘I’m gonna put on one of my push-up bras so I can get what I want tonight.’ That’s how she rolls.”

Still, watching Palin parade around in her shorts for the camera crew, while playing the damsel in distress frightened of the completely disinterested Joe McGinniss next door, IS a little creepy.

Sarah also constantly sports this bizarre "I just received a good rogering out by the dead lake" hair weave on her head, which also seems designed to fire up the "naughty bits" of the conservative males in the viewing audience. (If she is getting a "rogering" I highly doubt it is from  Todd "Captain America" Palin who looks like he has not had sex since Piper was conceived. Yes I said PIPER!)

Perhaps the most uncomfortable use of sexuality are the scenes of Willow parading around the house in booty shorts while attempting to sneak her boyfriend past her mother to join her in her bedroom.  Sarah, also walking around in shorts, puts a stop to that in very flirty, Mrs. Robinson manner, which just adds to the "ick" factor of the whole scene. (By the way it should also be noted that neither Willow, Piper, Sarah, nor Todd seem to suffer from the "eating disorder" that is currently causing Bristol to gain weight while dancing eight hours a day.  Of course if Willow's boyfriend had made it past the Grizzled Mama that might have changed.)

There are many more oddly sexualized moments in the program as well, but the ones that seemed especially out of place and bizarre took place while Sister Sarah was "climbing" some rocks near Denali.

For one thing as they were training for the climb, there is a scene where Bible Spice is seen dangling from a harness that looks suspiciously like the sex swing which I have no doubt many conservative men have hanging in their garage with their Sarah Palin sex doll already strapped in for easy access.

Then later at the beginning of the actual "ascent" Todd refers to Sarah as "juicy."  Yes you read that right, "JUICY!"

Now I tried to think of other words that Tawd might have actually used that only sounded like "juicy," like "pushy," or "gooshy," or "you harpy bitch," but none of them sounded convincing enough for me to believe that he did not ACTUALLY refer to his wife on national television as "juicy." (Do you know what is even stranger?  Since I have heard from numerous sources that Todd never really gets to see Sarah in her "juicy" glory," that word might actually have been written into the script for him to say!  Go ahead and shower if you have to, I totally understand what you are feeling.)

Then later as Sarah feigns helplessness and constantly bitches about EVERYTHING in a way that must only be sexy to guys who have little respect for strong women, she stops for some reason to announce to the television audience "Now I’m straddling a crevasse. It’s deep and dark." I have little doubt that at that announcement numerous male Republican hands, went down numerous male Republican pants, as they murmured to themselves "I got something for your crevasse right here baby!"

All in all the program was ridiculous and so fake that it made my head hurt.  In fact I could not live blog it because I was too busy rubbing my temples and trying to figure out who would buy into this steaming pile of mooseshit. (After the show I cleansed the scary out of my head by turning the channel to AMC to watch the new show "The Walking Dead," because Gryphen loves him some horror shows, and had a weird moment of Deja vu right up until I realized that the Todd Palin looking zombie I was watching could not actually be the ex-First Dude because he had WAY too much personality.)

Gee I wonder how Sister Sarah will embarrass herself, her family, and the people of Alaska next week?