Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Don't worry folks, it's not a bird, and it's not a plane. It's Tim Pawlenty and he is coming to save America.

Now I am not positive what the crisis, is.  It might be that some terrorists have taken over the Nakatomi Plaza, or that giant alien spacecraft are positioning themselves over important landmarks all over the world, or that there is a giant asteroid hurtling toward the earth.

But whatever it is Tim Pawlenty is the man to save the day.  Which should be totally obvious to you from the quick editing and dramatic music used in this pre-campaign, campaign ad.



Oh my God, oh my God, I am so thankful that Arnold Schwarzenegger...Bruce Willis...Batman...Tim Pawlenty is here to save us from whatever the hell is about to happen to our country!

I feel so much better now.

Hey I wonder if the scary thing is an asteroid?  Because if it was that might explain how come Pawlenty's movie trailer campaign ad looks so much like this:




Hah! Let's see Sarah Palin's crappy little reality show match that!

(Hat tip to TPM)

52 comments:

  1. Anonymous8:20 AM

    Unbelievably funny takedown of Bristol over at Wonkette:

    http://wonkette.com/435989/bristol-palin-mumbles-dumbly-to-alaska-rock-jocks-about-her-foreclosure#more-435989

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  2. Anonymous8:23 AM

    Ughhhhhhhhhhhh! What can I briefly say? He was a very partisan governor who spent the past two+ years preparing for a run to the White House.

    He seemed quite bummed the day McCain announced the Palin VP pick: He had flown back from AZ and then had sat by the phone the night before. Ever since he has been working ONLY on his presidential campaign, not for the people of MN, imo.

    minnesotamud

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  3. Anonymous8:25 AM

    Classic rightwing tactic. Turn their candidate's weakest character trait into a strength. Courage? Taking a stand? Hysterical if we're talking about the same wuss who is so terrified of the Palinbots, he scrambled to praise her after their outrage over his mild observation that it's not his style to use crosshairs on a political campaign graphic.

    Yeah, I really want a man who is terrified of scooter drivin' Palinbot weezers as our President.

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  4. WalterNeff8:26 AM

    You had me at Nakatomi Plaza. :-)

    BTW - I mentioned a film the other day - 'Dogtooth' - it just got nominated for an Oscar for Best Foreign Language film. See it!!

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  5. Anonymous8:33 AM

    Hey! Is anybody up for a little meandering down memory lane? Never hurts to remind the world of the kind of twisted personality we are dealing with, especially in light of the coming 'iceberg'.

    If you have not had the pleasure of viewing this blog, it is a keeper.

    http://www.palindeception.blogspot.com/

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  6. Anonymous8:35 AM

    He's channeling our President. How flattering!

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  7. Anonymous8:38 AM

    Anon 8:20 - Thank you for the link!

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  8. Anonymous8:40 AM

    oh fer fuckssakes. is this what we can expect for the next 2 years?


    bill in belize

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  9. Anonymous8:47 AM

    I would like to vent something

    What, is the point of this:

    http://www.wnd.com/?pageId=254401#ixzz1C3ncwfNP

    Do conspiracies come true? Yes. Are lots of things shady about Obama? Yes. Could a man fool an entire country into thinking he was born in the US when he wasn't and become President of said country? Not likely.

    I am starting to think though that if the same amount of energy went into vetting and picking apart Obama that goes into Palin, he'd still be Michelle's intern or working in legal aid. idk.

    I just find these tings weird as fuck. Weird that Hawaii's new Gov makes it his first goal to prove Obama was born there. Weirder that there's a possibility no one would care if true

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  10. Anonymous8:48 AM

    Tim Pawlenty Re-Engineering Humanity, With Book Nobody Read

    What do you do when you’re trying to run for president but you’re bland and nobody will buy your book? Release a “trailer” video for it to scare old people into thinking you’re going to fly huge screaming jets personally into their insecurities. Broaden it to include all of humanity, even though you’re a powerless former governor nobody cares about. And then juxtapose this with clips of yourself going to the National Press Club one time, when people noticed you were there. “This Summer: Brute Competence Rides In an Elevator. White Guys Are Back, and They’re Gonna Save the Day.”

    http://wonkette.com/435975/tim-pawlenty-to-re-engin

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  11. Anonymous8:56 AM

    I live in Minnesota. Trust me, Timmy did nothing for Minnesotans and he won't do anything for the rest of America either. He ran on the platform of "no new taxes," but when he needed money for something, he added "fees" instead. It has been interesting watching him over the last year. He wants to be president so bad he can hardly stand it. He has changed his position on things, such as cap and trade, to appear more conservative in hopes of gaining votes.

    Tim Pawlenty does not have what it takes to be POTUS.

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  12. Anonymous9:00 AM

    WTF was THAT?

    Was it his goal to scare me?

    It looks like a trailer for doomsday! Get out the duct tape & plastic wrap!

    Denise (Michigan)

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  13. Anonymous9:09 AM

    oh my god. epic fail.

    they build this up and up and up...

    and then suddenly the hero appears..

    and its a pasty white guy in a suit.

    lame lame lame.

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  14. Anonymous9:10 AM

    Yow, I was so inspired I almost went out & enlisted. So does this mean this asshat is running? What the hell is the matter in Minnesota....they brought us Jessie Ventura, Michelle Bauchmann now this asshat. Do they tie up the sane people on election days? What's going on there. Of course, I could ask the same thing about Alaskans but I'll hold my tongue.

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  15. Anonymous9:10 AM

    Just heard from our local news channel(I live in MN) that this video is being played to promote Pawlenty's new book "Courage to Stand", so its a "book trailer" I guess....

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  16. Anonymous9:12 AM

    so are we supposed to vote for him...

    or rent him on netflix???

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  17. Anonymous9:26 AM

    Okay, follow the money. Who had that much money to underwrite this very slick production?

    He's owned by someone. We just need to find out who that is.

    The Koch brothers jump to mind first, but is Pawlenty right-wing enough for them?

    Who else?

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  18. Beldar O'Conehead9:30 AM

    I just like the idea that men (and, yes, women, too, also..) of such earnest mediocrity stride confidently to their bathroom mirrors each morning and whisper "Hey, Handsome (or Beautiful), you'd be an awesome president", oblivious to the derisive laughter of those who know better.

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  19. lwtjb9:34 AM

    What the hell was that?

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  20. WalterNeff9:44 AM

    Pawlenty, FUCK YEAH!
    Coming again, to save the motherfucking day yeah,
    Pawlenty, FUCK YEAH!
    Freedom is the only way yeah,
    Terrorist your game is through cause now you have to answer too,
    Pawlenty, FUCK YEAH!
    So lick my butt, and suck on my balls,
    Pawlenty, FUCK YEAH!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous9:50 AM

    Let me just say this:

    Tim's short clip ALREADY puts SP to shame. Nothing she can say or do or pay to have done for her will come close.

    Can't wait to see the Republicans duke it out!

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  22. Anonymous9:52 AM

    What kind of Marvel Comics, pro-American bullshit is this?!?

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  23. Anonymous10:02 AM

    it's hard to imagine why Minnesota is among the country's smartest states as far as grade school education goes

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  24. Anonymous10:05 AM

    Tim Pawlenty doesn't have a chance.. He is a moderate posing as a far rightie. The far right don't like him. He has no personality and he doesn't have any ideas....
    He changes his mind about a position every time is he confronted. He and Romney are both flip floppers.
    Honestly - the GOP does not have decent candidates. The only ones I know very little about are Thune and Huntley.....
    the main problem with the GOP though is that they are split right down the middle, almost like two parties.
    We must make sure that the ones like Boehner and Cantor do not ever become president because they only care about the very rich and corporations.

    Any American who is middle class or lower would be very stupid to vote Republican. I don't know why they can't see that yet... I don't know what it will take to get them to see that they are not voting in their best interests. They are electing people who do not care one bit about them other than using them... Look at Sarah, she talks about how she is for the "little guy." No she isn't!!! Everything she blabbers about is for the rich or for insurance companies.

    How did America become so stupid. Fox??

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  25. London Bridges10:06 AM

    Old Timmie makes Sarah and Toddie look good:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/03/tim-pawlenty-pardon-jeremy-giefer_n_791618.html

    Family values guy!

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  26. Virginia Voter10:10 AM

    Wow, what a dud. I think TPaw sold a little less than 5,000 book he's so desperately trying to sell. All these Republican losers are trying to replicate the Barack Obama path to the presidency and just wind up looking like copycat douches.

    He's actually signing his book at a Barnes & Noble at the mall near me next month...snooooooze.

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  27. Anonymous10:13 AM

    What is with these Republicans using Scare tactics? Serioulsly, they convince their constinueints the Democrats are going to destroy the country; when in fact it was a Republican President that destroyed our country.

    Geesh, Give It Up Repubs, the doom & gloom doesn't work anymore.

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  28. Anonymous10:17 AM

    Using Firefox and the video is linked to the Presidents video not Pawlenty.

    From the comments I gather it is just more Fear mongering from another Con. Nothing new to see, move along America we have better things to do.

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  29. Anonymous10:36 AM

    As a Minnesotan I have to say I think this is just precious. Our little Timmy in a big boy ad, just like a real man!

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  30. Anonymous11:00 AM

    Palin is in Reno tonight giving a speech at the Weatherby Foundation International Award & Auction Dinner. She of course has the Sarfari Club speech on Saturday so seems she'll probably be in Nevada for 5/6 days unless she flies back and forth.

    Have read that this event of course was planned before the SOTU date was set but isn't it funny how she continues to compete with POTUS!! She'll be talking her usual violent rhetoric as he speaks of toning it down!!

    http://weatherbyfoundation.com/

    I notice the pic from last year included Haley Barbour - another of the batshitcrazies.

    Also take a look at their regular corporate page. That image is violent and alarming.

    http://www.weatherby.com/

    Appears Palin is deeper into the violence and guns now.

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  31. Anonymous11:11 AM

    http://www.theatlanticwire.com/features/view/feature/Why-Are-Comic-Books-Obsessed-with-Sarah-Palin-3036

    Here is an article on why comic books are obsessed with the half term governor-- or rather, the HTG.

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  32. Anonymous11:28 AM

    Extreme hype produces great wonders for some people, doesn't it?

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  33. Anonymous11:39 AM

    Maybe Pawlenty should pull a Palin and just do twitter and facebook and movie trailers. In person, he is a YAWN.

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  34. Anonymous11:42 AM

    I can't forget that it was Pawlenty that sat back and let the Franken - Coleman recount go on for months.

    Pawlenty has to be led by the nosering as he has never shown he's grown a set.

    The only leader he is is the 'Leader of the Wimp Pack'

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  35. Anonymous11:52 AM

    From another Minnesotan, 8 years under Pawlenty as governor caused deterioration of our schools, our highways, and our bridges. As another poster mentioned, instead of raising taxes Tea-Paw added fees. Now he is trying to use his "Minnesota model" as the way to fix the federal deficit; when his term as governor was over, Timmie left Minnesota with a $6 Billion + deficit. Not what I would consider presidential material.

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  36. Anonymous11:54 AM

    Hey, I've got a great idea!

    Since Timmy did such an Awesome, Super Duper Special job with this video, let's just forget about that silly election stuff and make him President right now. In fact, he's soooo Super Duper Special, let's not stop with President. Let's make him...

    K I I N N G

    o f

    t h e

    W O O O O O R R R R L L L L D D...!

    (Pardon me while I go lose my lunch...)

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  37. laprofesora12:30 PM

    Poor guy. He really tried, but he doesn't come across as presidential. Not even close.

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  38. Anonymous12:30 PM

    T Paw scored a perfect 10 in the 'unforgivable hypocrite' category for, early in his first term, cutting funding to Minnesota public libraries while simultaneously sending his wife out on 'reading is fundamental' campaign. For a brief moment he tried to stand his ground on spending by going after that notoriously big offender--the public library budget (oy vey). He cut weekend and evening hours at the very same time his wife was preaching the importance of reading all around the state. Apparently, reading was only important to kids whose parents were wealthy enough to buy books or who didn't have to work one (or more jobs) and so had the freedom to take them to the library during normal working hours. You can always count on Timmy (why do I keep hearing South Park in my head?) for a cynical grand gesture.

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  39. angela12:44 PM

    I had to laugh. He sure did make sure he put Dr. King in there. That seems to be a GOP thing to do lately--throw in King for some street cred.

    But when the video gets to current America---not an Asian, Latino, Native or African American in the bunch.

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  40. Anonymous12:53 PM

    Tim Pawlenty needs to start wearing a cape.

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  41. Anonymous12:57 PM

    9:12 - you win the best comment prize of the day as far as I'm concerned! Are we supposed to vote for him or rent him on netflix?"

    OMG - that was funny!

    Thank you for taking away some of the trepidation I have about him running. What a goober he is.

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  42. Anonymous1:01 PM

    Beldar O'Conehead - you come in a close second for the best comment of the day for making me laugh!

    Gosh, so many people are so witty today. It's an even greater pleasure to read the comments than usual.

    Humor is very powerful. Thanks to both 9:12 and O'Conehead.

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  43. Anonymous1:03 PM

    10:05 - I think the reason low information voters vote against their own best interests by following Fox News is that they react emotional. There are basically two types of thinks: objective and emotional.

    Fox News caters to the emotional voter just as Palin and her ilk does. All their slogans are emotion-based.

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  44. Anonymous1:06 PM

    11:52 - thanks for the insight into Pawlenty's reign as Governor. Sounds as awful as Palin's.

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  45. Beldar de Conehead1:10 PM

    And now, candidate for the presidency of the United States, Tim Polenta

    "If Freedom was easy, every country would be free. If adding 5 columns of 6 digit numbers was easy, every country would... um... use calculators. And if Valley Forge had been easy, every... um... country would, um... be... Valley Forge?

    Some men dream of the world as it was and ask, why? Others dream of the world as it is and ask, why not? I dream of the world as it could be and ask, could you repeat the question?

    Ask not what your country has to do with you, ask what you're doing when your country is asking for the courage to seek victory and proudly to proclaim to the world an America of the people, by the people and a leader unafraid to lead the people that want to be lead by such as a leader like that of ALL the people!

    God bless America!"

    wow, he sure gives a moving speech. (meaning: if this goober is elected president, I'm moving the hell out of the country!)

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  46. Anonymous1:23 PM

    HollyBaby.com Levi didn't give permission to take Tripp to AZ.

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  47. LAtheorist1:31 PM

    Bristol is speaking near LA on February 12th...I'm thinking I should go and record the speech, maybe get some pics? I could easily pass for a teenager. any thoughts?

    here's the event info:
    http://www.lovefestoslc.com/

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  48. Anonymous1:34 PM

    Levi Johnston Didn’t Give Bristol Palin Permission To Take Baby Tripp To Arizona, Says His Attorney—EXCLUSIVE!

    There are two sides to every story, and the one Levi Johnston’s attorney is presenting in response to Bristol Palin’s claims Levi is an absentee father is very different from what Bristol is saying! “[Bristol] is trying to give a smokescreen that Levi does not want to see his son,” Levi’s attorney, Rex Butler tells HollyBaby.com exclusively. “He has been more than gracious in requesting to see his son, and he has said on numerous occasions ‘I want to see him’, and she will say ‘I am out of town’.”

    Rex went on to say, “[Levi] usually doesn’t know where Tripp is when she takes him out of town.”

    As for 20-year-old Bristol’s recent move to Maricopa, AZ., which is a suburb of Phoenix, Levi found out when the rest of the world did. “She never officially asked Levi if it was OK to go ahead and move to Arizona,” Rex says.

    According to family lawyer Vikki Ziegler, Bristol broke the law by making the move without Levi’s approval. “Whenever you have joint custody you need a court order or parent consent—otherwise it’s a violation of the law,” she tells HollyBaby.com.

    Bristol dropped the bombshell that she wanted Levi to give up his parental rights during an appearance on KWHL’s The Bob & Mark Show last Friday (Jan. 21). “It’s unfortunate for Tripp,” she says, adding that when she asked Levi to sign over his parental rights, he has refused the offer. “Have I asked him to change Tripp’s last name? Yeah of course,” Bristol said.“I’ve asked him to do that many times—just sign over your (parental) rights. He just doesn’t want to sign them over because it looks bad on paper.”

    http://www.hollywoodlife.com/2011/01/25/bristol-palin-parental-rights-custody-levi-johnston/

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  49. Anonymous1:39 PM

    What--he thinks this will improve his 2% national approval rating among the Gopers?

    Bwwwwaaaaahhhhh!

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  50. Anonymous2:39 PM

    Wasn't he the Gov that slashed funds for infrastructure. . .and then that big bridge went down, killing many?

    MicMac

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  51. Anonymous4:49 PM

    Yep, it's all good fun 'til your bridge falls down.

    my money's on Pawlenty angling for VP spot.

    Ally in MN

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  52. Anonymous4:59 PM

    Yep, it's all good fun 'til your bridge falls down.

    my money's on Pawlenty angling for VP spot.

    Ally in MN

    ReplyDelete

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