"Hang on Wallace. Let Mommy's medication kick in before we get this show on the road."
"Oh yeah! That's the stuff! Bring it on girly man, the Mama Grizzly is ready to lay down some gibberish on ya!"
"No I did NOT get it wrong about Paul Revere! Let me explain something to you! Sarah Palin does NOT learn history! History learns that it needs to change to match Sarah Palin's version of how things happened! And right now my minions are teaching that same lesson over at Paul Revere's Wikipedia page."
"Wait! Are YOU confronting me with facts that conflict with the answer I just gave you? Since when do you have the balls to do that?"
"If you try to embarass me with facts one more time Wallace I will come to your studio and use my cobra strike on you nutsack. And don't think I won't! Have you ever wondered why Todd has such a high voice?"
"Yes Piper did get a little cranky on the bus tour. But when I got her back onto the bus I calmly explained to her that this was Mommy's publicity tour, paid for by Mommy's friends, and that if she messed it up Mommy would send her back to Wasillla with the OTHER ungrateful little brats who cannot hold it together for five measly days!"
"I apologize if I stepped on any -- any of that PR that Mitt Romney needed or wanted that day. I do sincerely apologize. I didn't mean to step on anybody's toes. Did that sound sincere? Do you think Romney will buy that, the big baby, or should I do another take?"
"Did you see how big my jugs looked in that water bra? If THAT does not bring me up in the polls I don't know what will! No really, I don't know what will?"
"Are we done? Well that went well I think. Let me know when you want me back on your show to boost your ratings again, and next time DON'T try any of those gotcha questions! If I had not had this teleprompter, which keeps reflecting off of my fake glasses, I might have looked foolish. You guys are editing this part out right? Well gotta go, stage two of my medication just kicked in and I don't want to have to make my people change the Wikipedia page for George Washington next. Whoop, whoop! "
(H/T to Election 2012 for the pics)
4th pic from the bottom, with sincere apologies to The Wizard Of Oz:
ReplyDelete"Eye'll get-choo my prit-teee, and your little baby which I will claim for my own also, too!"
Oh she'll love that. Pretty neat, huh, Sarah?
ReplyDeleteOh, you SO raise up us women and make us look so intelligen....uh, nevermind.
ROFL Now that's more like it! We're all so stooopid out here in the "rill" world, we need translators when Sarah, The Great speaks.
ReplyDeleteGryphen, comb your hair change out of your Basement Jammies .. Sarah needs to replace RAM and you should be a shoe-in for the job!
Sharon1943
snork!
ReplyDeletebill in belize
THAT WAS GREAT!!!
ReplyDeleteRILLY funny-- thanks G!
Since we know SP reads here, I wonder what SHE thought of it?!?!?!
I think she puts on her boobs in a similar way she dons her crosses and Jewish stars ... pandering to her audience ... is this a star day or a cross day? Is this a padded bra day or not . The poor woman .. I feel very sorry for her. As a Jew I detest her.
ReplyDeleteShe reminds me of the Emperor who has no clothes on. The Paul Revere saga exposed (for the umpteenth time) her intellectual nakedness. Yet she has the stupidity to go back on air and insist, " I DO have clothes on, I DO, I DO."
Her demise must be coming soon. She sure does have chutzpah and tenacity! Starfish Sarah.
Jessica
I was hoping Anne_123 or someone would caption those pictures, but a caption contest would be even better!
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHAHAHA....
ReplyDeleteLove it
Hilarious! Brilliant Gryphen!
ReplyDeleteThe View just came on and Sarah's recitation of her view of the Paul Rever ride was the first "Hot Topic" discussed. They not only showed the video of her in the deli giving the mis-information but also discussed what the original question had been -- which I had not heard before. According to Whoppie, the question was "what did you learn today?" So, I guess we need to find out who told her all that stuff. I know!!--she paid NO attention to the guide and just made up her answer, but wouldn't it be nice if someone asked her who told her that? When will she ever answer a question that has been asked of her? In this case her answer should have been "well, I paid no attention so I guess I have to say I learned nothing, but here is what I already know about Paul Revere's ride."
ReplyDeleteWell if that isn't an advertisement for never getting plastic surgery! And she used to be a pretty woman. I guess the outside is now matching the inside.
ReplyDeleteThat is so funny!
ReplyDeleteCan you remove the paint job, and wig, then post same photos?
ReplyDeleteThink you are right about the meds.
Say, or do anything, for that.
Very bad men backing this thing.
Ha! Funny stuff.
ReplyDeleteMy local news showed a clip of Sarah on Fox and her stupid history lesson of Paul Revere and the Anchors were cracking up.
Most Americans know Sarah is an idiot and is not qualified to be President, so I wonder when will the MSM realize this and stop promoting her.
Flippin' hilarious, Gryphen!
ReplyDelete$arah is gonna love it!
My coffee and breakfast smoothie are tasting so good with reading this post this morning. Now let's hope I can keep from spewing any on the keyboard or screen! Bwahahahahahahaha! Happy Monday! Thanks Gryphen.
ReplyDeletehahahahaha! This made my blah Monday much, much better.
ReplyDeleteOne item... we all know $arah P Heath doesn't apologize to anyone, not now and not ever, so may I suggest "Hey Romney, you know I'm not a team player, even during my glory days on Wasilla's Basketball team. Why should I start now? You need to man up and stop being so limp about it and for god's sake quit blaming others for your failures. This is Amerika and my damn PR bus will drive wherever it damn will please. sheshhhhh"
Too funny not to share from The Borowitz Report:
ReplyDeletePalin: ‘We Must Never Forget the Wisdom of Jefferson, and his Wife, Weezy’
Former Gov. Gives History Lesson
MONTICELLO
Visiting Thomas Jefferson’s historic home, Monticello, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin today paid tribute to the nation’s third President, telling an audience of supporters, “We must never forget the wisdom of Jefferson, and his wife, Weezy.”
Gov. Palin said that “at a time of our history when the American people needed leadership, it was Jefferson who said the immortal words;
‘We’re movin’ on up.’”
The former Alaska Governor, criticized in recent days over her grasp of American history, used the Monticello speech to demonstrate her knowledge of the country’s founding fathers.
“Let us have the ingenuity of Benjamin Franklin, who invented the electric chair,” she said.
“Let us have the honesty of George Washington, who told his father that he chopped down a cherry tree because it was blocking his view of Russia,” she added.
“And let us have Washington’s perseverance, which he demonstrated during that harsh winter at Sweet Valley High.”
But she saved her most fulsome praise for her favorite American hero, Paul Revere:
“In his famous cry, ‘One if by land, two if by sea,’ Paul Revere proved that you don’t have to know how to count higher than two to be a great American.”
At the end of her speech in Monticello, Gov. Palin said that she was looking forward to the next stop on her bus tour, Philadelphia, “the home of the Taco Bell.”
http://www.borowitzreport.com/
I guess everyone knows by now, that if you search the hashtag #Palinhistory on Twitter, you'll find some very funny stuff....here is one of my fav's from today:
ReplyDelete@Wolfrum
William K. Wolfrum
"Gen. Patton warned the Germans with bells and said "we have guns" and then ran away." #Palinhistory
Sarah gone wild!
ReplyDeleteTHis is Sarah shooting from the hip..... Expect more non awnsers and more fiction. SHe wants to impress future sponcers with her ability to spin the truth and put pretty icing on corporate polution and sell it to the public.
She is for higher, she wants the world to know. She wants to attract more that the kock brothers, birthers, and tea partiers.
A corporate bitch at your service. "Do you have any mountains tops to blast, or gold mines to bulldose into the greatest wild Salmon run in the world, or how about a country that you want to control."
I'm you women! the big ride of Sarah Palin, who was that with the bells again?
This is the best cartoon ever!!!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/telnaes?hpid=z3
And this stuff about the editing of the wiki Revere page is priceless:
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/38678_Palin_Fans_Trying_to_Edit_Wikipedia_Paul_Revere_Page
Rick Rydell (radio show in Anchorage in the mornings) just said he'd vote for Palin against President Obama. He's trying to make her Paul Revere rendition to be correct if you can believe that! Find him to be as much of a jerk as Palin is an idiot.
ReplyDeleteDoes he really think Palin could handle the fiscal duties of the President of the United States? I understand his following her social stands because he is conservative...but, I'm amazed he thinks Palin could handle the job when she couldn't even handle being 'quitter' governor of Alaska!
Plus, she can't speak the English language correctly and cannot debate to save her soul.
It will be the last time I tune in to Rick's shows, knowing full well he won't care because he constantly brags he has the number one radio show in all of Alaska! For that matter, he brags about everything concerning himself. Enough is enough...especially w/actually endorsing Sarah Palin should she run for President of the U.S. Perhaps he could have her on HIS radio show should she become a candidate. Think that could be a method to his madness in pre-supporting her. Yikes!! A method to his madness perhaps?
The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee has a new petition, follow the link at the bottom to sign the petition. Please pass this around and would appreciate it very much if IM saw fit to make a post out of this. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteTeach Sarah Palin a History Lesson
During her bus tour, Sarah Palin was yammerin’ away to reporters about how Paul Revere rode through the streets, ringin’ a bell to warn the British to stay away and keep their red-coated hands off Americans’ guns. Huh? That’s certainly not the historical account WE remember.
If Sarah Palin’s going to be a presidential candidate, she needs to bone up on her American history, and we’re ready to help.
We’re going to send her a copy of “A Picture Book of Paul Revere.”
Would you like to help? Add your name, and we’ll be sure Sarah has you to thank for her newfound knowledge.
http://www.dscc.org/act?action_KEY=195
You know what would be an incredible paper topic? "People who lie about Sarah Palin and their reasons for doing so"
ReplyDeleteesp concerning young Sarah and even present Sarah. There are sooo many ridiculous rumors, statements and assumptions made. I know of at least 3 classmates who are ripe with jealousy. But The people who lie and haven't met her cant be doing it solely based on jealousy. idk it's a phenomenon.
Gryphen, this should have the NSFW label, 'cause it's too funny to stifle the laughter!!
ReplyDeleteThanks. Loved the it's Mommy's tour, paid for by Mommy's friends bit, but it's all good.
R in NC
To add to my other comment:
ReplyDeleteLook at the lies you've been told or have told:
You once stated as fact that Bristol didn't work at the Derm place the whole time she was back with Levi. Proven lie. She left end of July 10
You once claimed wedding invites went out just after the public announcement. obvious lie
You still think she was pregnant (maybe twice) ast year. obvious lie
You still believe Sarah had romantic feelings for Curtis. horrible lie
My point: Rumors are NEVER good nor truthful. They hurt so many. They help no one
Just at Wiki and clearly the Palinbots were successful as they are new additions to the Wiki page that fit Palin's historical story to a "T". Sad to see something as open as Wiki would allow this to come in and remain. The bells, the gunshots, the warning to the British are all there, smoothly incorporated into the story that yesterday was devoid of her presence. Makes me sick these people are rewriting history, Where is Howard Zinn when we need him? I am boycotting Wiki as a result of their allowing this blatant rewriting of history so this dumb bitch doesn't have to own up she made a simple mistake. As for you enablers who continue to cover her ass, shame on you, she is sick and twisted and a liar and fraud. Do you do this to try to justify how much money you have invested in her? Did she pay you some good money to rewrite history? For shame....
ReplyDeleteWith all the stupid that spews from her mouth, I can hardly wait for the next installment. Keep it coming Palin--America really wants to get to know ya.
ReplyDeleteher face is really fucked up
ReplyDeleteShe really needs to learn that sometimes admitting you don't know something makes you look smarter than pretending that you do.
ReplyDeleteWhen asked about Paul Revere, she could have simplified her response, saying, "I learned about Paul Revere's famous ride and just how important it was to the American Revolution's ultimate success."
It makes it SOUND like she knows what she's talking about without requiring her to provide anything more than the most rudimentary soundbite.
Once "teh stupid" left her mouth, however, she should not have subsequently insisted that she had been referring to some little-known aspect of Paul Revere's ride (that she nevertheless mangled, if one were to believe her excuse) and (for some reason) didn't feel the need to mention the most relevant aspect of his ride.
She would have served herself better by saying--and I'm not going to bother putting this through the salad shooter--"You know, I had heard so much interesting information from the guides when that question came up. And with the huge crowd in the room and my wanting to keep an eye on Piper, I responded off the top of my head. Clearly, I jumbled up some of those facts, and I'm sure if I'd taken more time to think about it and was less distracted, my answer wouldn't have led to this silly media circus."
She could further help her case by saying, "Even I thought it was pretty funny when I saw my response on Fox later. I looked at my family and said, 'Jon Stewart is going to have a lot of fun with this one.'"
"I'm just really glad I got to get out there and learn more about these things and bring peoples' attention to our nation's important heritage, and give them a chuckle besides."
It would have made her sound far more gracious and personable.
Sarah Palin... Your words are emptier than your head!
ReplyDeleteAm sure we have some educators here on IM - let me ask this,,,
ReplyDeleteIf an American history student gave the answer $P gave to the reporters question (10 pts max): would it be accurate and if only part of the answer is accurate- what grade would you give that answer?
To the Palinbot at @8:55:
ReplyDeleteYou know what would be an incredible paper topic?
"People who lie about Sarah Palin and their reasons for doing so"
_______________________________
I don't think that would be a very interesting paper topic because you'd have to be able to prove that the people were lying. Since Sarah refuses to provide the proof needed to dispel what she calls lies and rumors, there'd be nothing to write, other than, "Some Palinbots and Sarah Palin argue that people saying things they don't like about Sarah Palin are lying and spreading false rumors. People who don't like Sarah Palin say they are telling the truth."
End of paper.
What is true--and doesn't take a disgruntled former friend of Sarah's to convince me--is that Sarah Palin is astonishingly stupid, mean-spirited, bitter, and whining.
And the person who first convinced me those things were true about Sarah Palin...is Sarah Palin. And every time I hear her speak, she continues to reinforce my first impressions of her.
Only an idiot or a sycophant claims otherwise. Unfortunately, we have plenty of those in the USA.
What's your point?
ReplyDeleteJust stopped here after reading on palingates that wiki caved and is making the edits. Think I'll go over there and chat. WOW...just wow.
ReplyDeleteWell, my reading of the wiki entry has the gunshots and the bell ringing going on once Revere was detained, after his famous ride. He "interpreted" those sounds for the British military and let them know what they were about (certainly not "we aren't going to let you take our arms", specifically).
ReplyDeleteAccording to Sarah, if I understood her word salad correctly, it was Revere and his crew who rode through and shot off guns, had bells rung, etc.
Big difference, but perhaps these little details were slipped in in the past 24 hours?
in the first photo, she looks like Joan Collins who happends to be in her 70's with tons of plastic surgery. Maybe they go to the same surgeon?
ReplyDeleteRight, just checked on the video - she most definitely said "Paul Revere, he who....". She says he did those things himself - gunshots, bell ringing, warned the British they wouldn't be taking away their guns, etc.
ReplyDeleteThe wiki article tries to say he was WITH the British when they all HEARD those things, and Paul told them what it was about. Right!
Sneaky, sneaky.
(Such a funny post, Gryphen!)
To 8:59:
ReplyDeletePlease look up the following words: lie, rumor, proven.
You said, "Look at the lies you've been told or have told:
You once stated as fact that Bristol didn't work at the Derm place the whole time she was back with Levi. Proven lie. She left end of July 10."
Really? Please demonstrate how this was proven. Do you have a pay stub or a sworn statement? Do you have videotaped footage showing she was at that office actually working?
You said; "You once claimed wedding invites went out just after the public announcement. obvious lie"
Do you have affidavits attesting to this or we're just supposed to go on the say-so of anonymous? Regardless, a lie is something said intentionally to mislead people. If you are telling the truth (and who can tell), this sounds more like a mistake or misinformation than a lie.
You said: "You still think she was pregnant (maybe twice) ast year. obvious lie"
Actually not an obvious lie. It is a rumor that has neither been proven or disproven. The fact is that Bristol gained a huge amount of weight during DWTS, which is inconsistent with the experience of every contestant who has ever been on the show. The fact is, she clearly looked like she was pregnant in more than one photograph.
She either (1) was pregnant and the pregnancy ended (purposefully or naturally) or (2) she ate like a pig and then stopped eating like a pig after she left DWTS.
I have not seen anything that proves or disproves either scenario.
You said: "You still believe Sarah had romantic feelings for Curtis. horrible lie"
So, any time it comes down to Sarah's word versus someone else's word, the other person is lying? Not everyone lives in the same Sarah = Esther world that you inhabit.
While only Sarah can say for 100% certain whether she ever had romantic feelings for Curtis Menard (or simply faked them), she has demonstrated that her word is not one to be trusted.
Sarah Palin lies with impunity on a regular basis about many things, trivial and important. This is PROVEN because I can point to things she has said and point to factual documentation that contradicts what she has said.
As a witness, she rates a ZERO on the credibility scale and is easily impeached.
You said: "My point: Rumors are NEVER good nor truthful. They hurt so many. They help no one."
Then maybe you should tell Sarah to stop spreading them and encouraging them. Otherwise, you seem pretty pointless.
Hahaha!! Thanks so much Gryphen!
ReplyDeleteAs far as the entry for Paul Revere on Wiki.. once the flying monkeys have done their work, it will self-correct in due time.
Modifying actual biographies and historical text is quite beyond their abilities.
In the meantime, that clip of her saying Paul Revere warned the British and was ringing bells and firing his gun will live on the internet for the rest of her life, as a monument to her colossal ignorance.
Looking at Palin in that bulky white jacket with the "ballooned" front and that starry background behind her, it looks like she is at a disco.
ReplyDeleteExcept that you hear more intelligent conversations at discos than Palin's babble on Faux.
Anyone who uses Wikipedia in an attempt to further his/her knowledge deserves to read a Palinized version of history. There's a reason why Wikipedia was a punchline on The Office, for instance. It's not reliable as a research tool, folks. This whole episode has made that beyond clear.
ReplyDeleteNo surprise, then, that it appears to be the go-to for Palin fans. Morons.
You know, this may be one of the greatest gifts we could have received.
ReplyDeleteSarah Palin is demonstrating that she cannot admit when she makes a mistake. Honestly, what would the big deal have been? She could have said, "oh, yeah, stupid me, I got the sequence of events wrong! You all know what I meant!" I don't think anyone would have cared that much. It's honestly not that big a deal.
(Did we ever find out if this was before or after she toured that site? Do we know which reporter asked her that question, and what the exact wording was? It would be great to know those details.)
What's really, really, really bad, though, is that she refuses to acknowledge the mistake and EVEN WORSE, she has people going into a reference resource and REWRITING HISTORY, for her sake. Pretty freaking scary.
She will regret it, it will haunt her, and basically unless she gets out there now and disavows any connection to the Wiki rewrite effort, she is screwed.
Did you hear that Sarah? Only dictators get to rewrite history.
You just can't hide your character flaws, can you?
" Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteYou know what would be an incredible paper topic? "People who lie about Sarah Palin and their reasons for doing so"
esp concerning young Sarah and even present Sarah. There are sooo many ridiculous rumors, statements and assumptions made. I know of at least 3 classmates who are ripe with jealousy. But The people who lie and haven't met her cant be doing it solely based on jealousy. idk it's a phenomenon.
8:55 AM"
Yeah! Jellus haterz make Sayruh STRUNGER! Girlz RULZ! Loosers! Sayruh Paypay is the bestest, smartest, hawtest Governor EVAH! She got more done in her half-term as gov than Osama Obama has done in his life!1!!! I can't wait til shes president of all y'all, she'll put yew in FEMA concentrate jails! Sucks to be jellus librual loosers!
If you go to Wiki you will see that the body has changed in the last 24 hours as it pertains to Paul Revere's ride. Then go to the discussion and it will be clear that the force driving the rewrite is the Sara Palin's comment. The editors left it intact and so we have a new piece of American history, call back the textbooks and get them to match up with Sara, she is the anti-christ in so many ways.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous @ 8:59 am
ReplyDeleteYou mean;
Lies about Death Panels,
Lies about Obama being a Muslim,
Lies about Joe Mcginniss
Lies about Obama pallin'around w/terrorist
Lies about Obamas birthplace
and all of your... I mean Sarahs' other lies?
You forgot: And NO, this is NOT a cold sore I am sprouting right here at that middle of my lower lip!
ReplyDelete@8:55, WOW, you know of "3 classmates who are ripe with jealousy" of Sarah Palin? That is a hot scoop! THREE classmates!
ReplyDeleteAre you aware that you're writing about a woman who is 47-years-old? I know she acts like an adolescent girl but unless you're completely blind you can see that she's pushing middle-age.
I sure hope you're playing hooky from elementary school (you have a future in creative writing, kid!), because if you're a grown adult I fear for you.
When you look at the Old North Church's website, they emphasize the role Paul Revere's lantern signal played in the events of that night. He had been a bell ringer there as a boy and knew the tower well, apparently. The Longfellow poem emphasizes his stealthy ride, not his making a bunch of noise through the countryside, for goodness' sakes. I realize that poem took some license.
ReplyDeleteFrankly, to me, she got confused and instead described a scene from an old Western film!
Depending on when she answered that question, it makes one wonder if she was paying attention at all.
What's really pathetic is the Palinbots lame attempt to change Paul Revere's story to include bells, and whatever $arah had made up.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's why kids here are not allowed to use wikipedia as their research source.
Anon @ 8:55 am: "ripe with jealousy"? Don't you mean "rife with jealousy"? Not exactly the proper use of "rife," but I am pretty sure that's the word you were grasping at ... Hmm, why does that special way of phrasing it ring so familiar.
ReplyDeleteOh, right.
HI SARAH!!!
Well someone mentioned a caption contest...but these pics of Grizz-mah are so ripe, I thought we could have some fun without even needing a "contest"...let's just throw our best snark out there! Caption one, caption all...whatever floats your commercial fishing boat which your husband really DOES use, REALLY!
ReplyDeletePhoto 1:
"Here's my tongue! One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi. Ok that should hold 'em for a bit!"
Photo 2:
"How dare you accuse me of using my body to influence the pasty white GOP viagra vagabonds! Such as these breasts right here...yoo hoo, camera guy, right here...zoom in on the puppies right here...anyway how DARE anyone accuse me of using these amazingly perky after four..um...five...um...a BUNCH of kids, breasts! That is so inappropriately inappropriate. D'you know sometimes I look at my reflection in the TelePrompTer...uh I mean my...hand...and pretend they're missiles! Pew pew pew, take that, Tina Fey!"
Photo 3:
"of course I know the words!!! '...it's the...EYE of the TIGER hmmmshb hmmshh mmmm...it's the...EYE of the TIGER that will...shmmhmmm hmmmm....' See, I totally know the words!"
I'm at work or I would definitely try & caption all of them!
Thanks Gryph...hilarious!
8:15 She had to be reading a teleprompter to give all those consecutive answers IF she was, in fact, at Monticello.
ReplyDeleteSlightly O/T but Palin's shit flinging flying monkeys are trying to rewrite Wikipedia's article on Paul Revere to reflect Palin's fucked up version of history:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/06/sarah-palin-paul-revere-wikipedia_n_871795.html
What makes this so damn funny is that by doing this they are effectively acknowledging Palin's epic mangling of the facts. If not, why would they need to engage in the chillingly Orwellian tactic of rewriting history?
Rather than admit Palin's congenital stupidity, these cousin humpers would prefer to alter the written record of history. Maybe even more than their idiot queen, these assholes are a major threat to our nation.
Saracudda Rewrites History
ReplyDeleteby Anne Sweeney
Listen my children and you shall hear
Of political crises so severe
Our nation is threatened as never before
By the specter of Ignorance at our door
It isn't al Qaeda that poses a threat
Not Korea or Iran nor China and Nyet,
There's little from Russia that we have to fear
Our liberty's foes are located here.
The danger is coming - a terrible blight
It's the Princess of Darkness, the Queen of the Right
Sarah Palin is loose and it's more than her views
Or her spreading her lies all over Faux News
We thought her stupidity couldn't be more
The election debacle, the media whore
The PACS and the clothes, the untalented daughter
And Levi, the First Dude and wildlife to slaughter
There's drilling and shilling her book and her state
Sarah Palin's Alaska - Oh give me a break!
The endorsements of candidates ready to run
They were all to the right of Attila the Hun
She doesn't let anything stand in her way
Mamma Grizzly will vanquish that (b)witch Tina Fey
And Katy, and Rachel and Sawyer who dare
To suggest she's got nothing 'neath that pile of hair
She's immune to ridicule, truth or good sense
She's got her supporters all equally dense
The Tea Party loves her, what else does she need
They will back her whatever her word or her deed
How far she has gone to me is a mystery
How can you explain this reversal of history?
So Revere warned the British, my goodness who knew?
We will rewrite the textbooks, the word will get through!
Paul Revere was a traitor, Tea Baggers will claim
They will join stupid Sarah in trashing his name
And if liberals in Boston should start to protest,
We have ways of dealing - Saracudda knows best
And what of the Minutemen swooping like eagles?
They were from Arizona and hunting illegals
And Samuel Adams, we must make it clear
He did go to Harvard, so don't drink his beer
Bunker Hill was a victory, The Redcoats were routed
The truth of that statement can never be doubted
And the Boston Tea Party - oh here's to our cause!
It was all about taxes, and Obama's laws
Founding Fathers were Christians so put on your blinkers
And ignore all the guys who were really freethinkers
For thinking's not part of Sarah's new quest
Rousing rabble and lying is what she does best
And as the Know Nothings do flock to her flag
Abandon all hope, for this ignorant hag
Will be quick to throw us right under the bus
We have met the enemy - you betcha. She's us.
I think that it's wonderful that the things that will be remember about Sarah's One Nation Tour Family Vacation are:
ReplyDelete1. Sarah doesn't have a motorcycle operators license, and had to ride behind a licensed driver after she invited herself to a motorcycle rally.
2. Sarah wears a cross when she meets Christians, and she wore a Jewish star in New York City because she heard that there Jewish people there.
3. Sarah thinks that eating pizza with a plastic fork is classy, especially if Donald Trump is doing it, too. (Did everybody see Jon Stewart's monologue about NY Pizza?)
4. Sarah thinks that the Statute of Liberty is a reminder not to make the mistakes that other countries have made. (To hell with the "Give me your tired and poor..." poem. Sarah is not good with poetry. Look what she does to "The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere.")
5. Sarah thinks that Paul Revere rode into towns shooting his gun and ringing those bells because the NRA said that you can't take guns away from us. And, consider that a warning to the British too, Don't mess with Texas and don't mess with our arms, either, too, also.
6. When it's time for a do-over, it doesn't help to stick to the same story. Having your friends try to change Wikipedia instead of changing your answer isn't a good thing, either.
7. We will especially remember Piper who thought she was going on a family vacation and wasn't told that when Mommy is talking to the lamestream media, it's not a good idea to interrupt. Mommy says she hates them, but she needs to talk to them anyway, so it's not a good idea to push them, as much as Mommy still hates them and just uses them. Lots of people do that. Grow up.
8. When your family leaves the family vacation, it really is a fundraising trip for SarahPAC, especially when your motor home is a bus with an ad for SarahPAC.
9. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Sarah visited all of those famous places to encourage us to learn about American History. Too bad that she didn't follow her own advice. She didn't learn a thing.
10. The reason that Sarah can't get the facts straight about the Midnight Ride of Paul Revere is that she keeps mixing it up with her own Midnight Ride when she was in labor, leaking amniotic fluid, bypassing hospitals with neo-natal facilities to pretend to deliver a premature, special needs child in a small town community hospital. Oh, no, wait, I think that it was to warn the British.
Gryphen have you seen this article in the Globe Magazine? I bought the magazine yesterday and forgot it at shoprite.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.globemagazine.com/story/676
The crazy....it burns!!!
ReplyDeleteAnon@8:55
"You know what would be an incredible paper topic? "People who lie about Sarah Palin and their reasons for doing so"
esp concerning young Sarah and even present Sarah. There are sooo many ridiculous rumors, statements and assumptions made. I know of at least 3 classmates who are ripe with jealousy. But The people who lie and haven't met her cant be doing it solely based on jealousy. idk it's a phenomenon."
This has to be Granny Grifter. Always worrying about jealous classmates in Middle and high school. You're 48, get over it!
We would love her if we just new her personally. Yeah like Frank Bailey, Curtis Menard, Mike Wooten, Walt Monegan, John Bitney, Levi, etc. They all new her personally and I doubt they would speak highly of her.
I can stand up and say I'm not jealous. I would never want to be a mother who puts her own wants before her childrens needs.
I would never want to be a mother who throws my daughter under the bus to prove a rumor about me.
I would never want to be a mother that would allow an awful rumor about my daughter to stand if I could easily prove it wrong with documentation.
I'm not jealous of her looks or all the plastic surgery she's had to try to maintain them.
I'm not jealous of her water bra or her tacky contrived jewelry.
I'm not jealous of her inability to tell the truth. Why would I be jealous of a pathological liar?
Why would I be jealous of a substance abuser? Whether it's Bailey's or something stronger, she's using.
I'm not jealous of the fact that she quit her job after giving an oath to the people of AK.
I'm not jealous that she grifts money from her followers and uses it as her own personal bank account despite the fact that she's a millionaire several times over. What happened to personal responsibility? She's relying on others to pay for family vacations. I prefer to pay my own way.
I'm not jealous of her mansion in AZ. It's cold and empty like her heart and it's in the middle of a barren desert, kind of like her mind.
I'm not jealous of her marriage. There's not much love there. He frequents hookers and carries her purse. She flirts with all of America and overshadows Tawd.
I'm not jealous of her lack of intelligence. She can't even construct grammatically correct sentences. The starts and stop are incoherent.
I'm not jealous of the racism and hate in her heart.
I'm not jealous of the fact that she needs to create a persona to be happy.
The real Sarah Palin is no one to be jealous of.
1st photo -
ReplyDeleteLambchop
No matter what, if changes were made to the article - using a source cited throughout, to begin with - they don't undo Sarah's gaffe.
ReplyDeleteShe still got it wrong. Paul Revere did not shoot off guns or ring bells. The article says so! Where did she come up with that, anyway?
Who asked her that question, do we know?
Speaking of her mouth....what the HELL is that "thing" on her bottom lip???
ReplyDeleteDoes she "have" something?
icky...ick...
More can throwing.
ReplyDeletePalin 'vacation' bus not measurin' up to Trump's new plane.
Donald Trump's New $100 Million Luxury Jet Is Covered In Gold And The Family Crest
http://www.businessinsider.com/donald-trump-plane-2011-6
Complete with video tour.
Fundraising for 'Sarah needs a new plane to run for President' in 3,2,
Is this a coincidence?
ReplyDeleteSymptoms of Tardive Dyskinesia:
It is characterized by repeated and involuntary motions, primarily in the face and fingers. These motions may include grimacing, sticking out the tongue, rapid blinking of the eyes, pursing or smacking the lips, and twitching of the fingers.
Causes: Tardive dyskinesia usually occurs as an uncommon, but serious, side effect of extended use of neuroleptic drugs, which are prescribed for the treatment of psychiatric and neurological disorders.
Remember $P says there are no coincidences.
maybe someone can rewrite SP's wikipedia information?
ReplyDeleteThe Globe, I know it is a rag is talking divorce for the Palins. She goes to Alaska, and all the lower states are hers, and gets to keep Alaska and the kids. Then he can sucede and he will be the first King of Alaska, and she can become the first Queen of all the rest.
ReplyDeleteNice how she rewrites history and all the bots agree. Guess we will have to get used to creationism and the Rapture, because she will blow us all to kingdom come if she geta ahold of the nuclear button.
We'll be back to life, caveman style.
Sarah had to get off the Bus Tour to get back to her doctors appt. because her LIP injections were due! Her mouth is a mess and her eyes and makeup look like she's had a bad couple of days.
ReplyDeleteShe has a "fat" lip there.
Pay$lin is an embarrassment to the country.
I don't teach American History, but if Sarah Palin gave an answer like that on one of my exams(either orally or in writing), the first thing I'd do is assume she was too busy partying to prepare for the exam and wonder if she was still drunk.
ReplyDeleteOf course, we've seen that this kind of rambling nonsense is standard operating procedure for her. If she was in my class, I'd question how someone so ill-prepared and incompetent made it into college. I'd wonder about the quality of her high school. I'd probably recommend she take remedial English.
No doubt about it, though. She'd fail my class. I don't accept bullshit answers that are mostly filler with a "fact" thrown in here and there.
The key here is that, even if there is evidence that Paul Revere warned the British about something at some point, her answer was completely wrong as she gave it in that context, not to mention nearly incoherent.
Doncha just love that blingy cross? Really says Servant's Heart all over it, don't it?
ReplyDeleteOf note, The Wikigate is picking up steam in the MSM. Don't let it go SP, all kinds of other things can go wrong from here.
ReplyDeleteWhere are Woodward and Bernstein when we need them?
Remember Watergate started over a bungled break-in. Ness took down Capone over taxes. Lots of ways to fall to earth Sara. You can't keep running from the truth
Poll: Mitt Romney qualified, and the lady in over-sized white coat Sarah Palin not :)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.politico.com/news/stories/0611/56346.html
New movie on Palin resembles a political commercial
ReplyDeletehttp://www.miamiherald.com/2011/06/06/2253779/new-movie-on-palin-resembles-a.html
8:55, Hello Sarah. So you have "3 classmates who are ripe with jealousy"--only three? I bet they're ready to talk and dispute your precious Sarahmythology.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you meant "rife" with jealousy. Either way it works, but rife lends a discordant note, whereas ripe would be more descriptive of a positive state.
She'll be running with Romney. He has the money, she has the Tea Party cred.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me sick to agree with Palin, but I have to say -- the Lamestream Media is truly that.
ReplyDeleteThey are slopping up and reporting the info being thrown out there by Andrew Breitbart once again. They are spewing his story and pics of Anthony Weiner, like it's the gospel truth - yet they have no facts or proof but what he has thrown against the wall to see what shit sticks. Breitbart must be sitting back laughing his ass off as everytime he does this - the fucking idiots fall for it.
The fucking moron media did not learn from the ACORN matter which ended up to be 'faked' videos.
The morons didn't learn from the Shirley Sherrod tape - that it had been doctored.
They didn't learn from the NPR video.
We have to actually pay for cable to listen and watch these fucking morons.
No wonder the rest of the world looks at us as fucking idiots and can't stop laughing. We truly are a joke.
palinbots:
ReplyDeleteYour sarah is not running for anything.
She is a chickenshit fraud.
Whoops! Girlfriend is looking very cross-eyed in several of the photos. #2, #4 and the last one - very cross-eyed.
ReplyDeleteFrom the Miami Herald review of film.
ReplyDelete"...the film was made with complete cooperation and approval from Palin, who told friends and supporters it was OK to talk to those behind the film, and whose parents sold the right to use childhood pictures and home movies. Bannen also bought the right to use Palin's voice from the audio release of her book, "Going Rogue."
This fucking grifter covers all $$ bases. She and her 'rents make $$ even if the film is a bust.
Read more: http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/06/06/2253779/new-movie-on-palin-resembles-a.html#ixzz1OWecnqaI
Tall tales by Sarah. Paul Revere meets a rill american and clangs those bells and shoots a few rounds but still can't hit the side of a barn and the locals start yelling and running with pitchforks at the british who are trying to steal their cannon balls and weapons and the rogue turkeys are flyin' and the town crier........"
ReplyDeleteSarah's brain cells are drying up like her ovaries.
ReplyDeleteALERT:
ReplyDelete24,199 pages of Palin e-mails to be released Friday morning
http://openchannel.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/06/06/6797957-24199-pages-of-palin-e-mails-to-be-released-friday-morning
How in the world is she still on Fox News. She is obviously running. Her movie has been called a "2 hour political ad" by the Miami Herald. Besides that, she took a jab at a co-worker, Shep Smith. That itself should be grounds for her termination of contract.
ReplyDeleteShe is running but wants to delay it as log as possible. If she announces, she will have to participate in those pesky debates where they ask real, unscripted questions and they are expected to be answered with an intelligent response, not talking points and word salad. If she does the debates, she will get destroyed and if she has announced a run and skips the debates, she will get destroyed. It is much easier to put out political ads and throw stones from Fox where she is hardly ever asked to provide solutions to the problems she will encounter as President.
How is "What have you seen so far today [in Boston], and what are you going to take away from your visit?" a "Gotcha" question again?
ReplyDeletehee hee Palin's free ride
ReplyDeletehttp://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/telnaes?hpid=z3
This is a hoot, Gryphen!
ReplyDeleteBTW, I think our liddle Sarah REALLY got it all wrong. Didn't Paul Revere have a singing group in the 1960s?
Anon @8:55, What in the world is there to be jealous of regarding Palin? If I were the jealous type, I'd be more jealous of an old, wrinkled, used-up paper bag. At least it has had a more productive and meaningful life than Palin's life.
ReplyDeleteAnon @ 10:06 am ... Your Point #10 was priceless: "Sarah's Midnight Ride".
Anon @ 10:10am ... Loved your "I'm not jealous ..." prose. Your revelations of Palin are spot on.
Went to Taco Bell last night and got some sauce packets with my order...
ReplyDeleteHere is what two of them said..
"I'm in talks to have my own reality show"
and
'Don't throw me under a bus"
how priceless is that for the grifter granny and her love of taco bell. I emailed pics to you Grpyh.. sure you can find a way to use them.
Last pic is the real Quittypants...goofball.
ReplyDeleteBut, but Sarah knows her American History. Just because it doesn't some like what we are used to, its HER American History, and she is sticking to it. Great fun with the captions, Gryph.
ReplyDeleteMommy Dearest. Sarah is so evil.
ReplyDeleteHard to believe this woman has millions, and does not know how to dress and groom herself.
ReplyDeleteO/T the June 13, 2001 issue of Globe features Granny on 1/5 of the cover: "Cheating, Lies & Jealousy: Sarah Palin WALKS OUT ON HUBBY!" She moves into $1.7M mansion in Arizona.
Smaller picture, in the corner of Toad. "Divorce Scandal Explodes!"
The story is on page 26 and half of page 27. Sorry I am not more computer literate, or I would send you pictures, Gryphen.
The article reads: "Republican pinup girl Sarah Palin has thrashed out a secret divorce deal with her husband Todd."
It goes on to speculate that Toad and Mrs. Toad will continue to be "married" through 2012.
the wiki fix is covered on Huffpo - so worth a quick read and for some reason it seems to be going up the page?
ReplyDeleteAnthony Weiner admitted he sent the picture of himself and many others to other women. Apologized, but will not resign. I guess Andrew (asshat) Breitbart was right - for once.
ReplyDeleteThese video shots show Palin halted the "One Nation" tour while her meds are adjusted (and to give her followers time to re-write history as told by wiki).
ReplyDeleteI was unable to select one pic to label "idiot queen", so it will just have to be "any of them, all of them"
That white dress/coat thing makes her look like a chicklet.
ReplyDeleteI'm not proud of this comment. That said, she looks like a chicklet.
Sad to say that NPR, All Things Considered, brought up Sarah's report of Revere's ride an hour ago. They followed up by consulting a historian - a professor from Suffolk U./Boston (I had not heard of this U. before). HE SAID THAT SHE WAS quite BASICALLY CORRECT!!!! Then he indicated that he was annoyed that it took a comment from Sarah Palin for NPR to consult him on something. I am astounded and looking up this Suffolk place right now. Wish NPR would have consulted someone else.
ReplyDeleteCan't help it...the immortal lines by Dorothy Parker keep running through my mind....
ReplyDelete"You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."
'nuff said.
0>w/hole>1 - Funny!
ReplyDeleteAll one has to do is re-listen to Sarah's version of events, and then realize that people are muddying the waters by saying that some gun were shot off and some bells were rung. Big problem is that Sarah was saying Paul Revere did that. He did not, at least according to the accounts I have read. Just because some of that happened does not all of a sudden make Sarah Palin "basically right". She didn't know what she was talking about, and honestly if it was a simple error why couldn't she just say so?
ReplyDeleteI am quite sure she was told a different story in that North Church, if she was even paying attention. I am sure they talked about the lantern in the bell tower. She would try to blame this on others if she could, but she knows she can't. There are other people involved and they know what their historic presentation consists of. Would be good for someone to bother to go over there and see, or to take the tour if there is one. Then we'd know.
There is absolutely no way that Sarah was drawing on her own understanding of those events, separate from the museum exhibits.
Pic number 2 reminds me of the bug eyed wine swilling blonde on Real Housewives of NYC http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/bio/ramona-singer
ReplyDeletePerhaps they will do a real housewives of Alaska/Arizona and She can be in another reality show
"Rumors are NEVER ... truthful."
ReplyDeleteReally? Never? Wrong!
Hi Sarah! (big shout out to Sarah Palin, for reading this blog and "Shoring up the Ratings") Hey, looky there- someone else is reading this blog and linking to it!
ReplyDeleteI really needed the laughs! Just watched Ed Shultz, the hypocrite, advising Weiner to resign, after returning from a self imposed hiatus after abusing his anchor position. Rachel was excellent, btw, framing wienergate among the pecadillos of other politicians.
We need more wieners, I'll take our wiener over their boener, anyday!
The faces that woman makes are so incredibly revealing about her true nature. Mean, nasty, sarcastic...
ReplyDeleteM from MD
She looks absolutely f*%&king nuts in that last frame.
ReplyDelete