|"Hah! I knew eventually you'd come crawling back!"|
The Republican Party has been doing a lot of hand-wringing and finger-pointing since the presidential election. Half the conservative columnists and bloggers say the GOP lost because it overemphasized social issues such as abortion and gay marriage. The other half says the party didn't emphasize them enough. And everyone denounces Project ORCA, the campaign's attempt to turn out voters via technology.
But I've got a suggestion for cutting short the GOP angst: Sarah Palin for president in 2016.
You think I'm joking? Think again.
No as it turns out Ms. Allen is NOT joking.
Crazy? Definitely. Joking? Not so much.
She continues on:
Palin can more than keep up with the Democrats in appealing to voters' emotions. Hardly anyone could be more blue collar than Palin, out on the fishing boat with her hunky blue-collar husband, Todd. Palin is "View"-ready, she's "Ellen"-ready, she's Kelly-and-Michael-ready. A Palin "war against women"? Hah! Not only is she a woman, she's got a single-mom daughter, Bristol, to help with the swelling single-mom demographic. On social issues, Palin, unlike Romney, has been absolutely consistent. And let's remember that most Americans, whatever their view of choice, disapprove of most abortions.
Gay marriage? Palin opposes it. But she is also a strong advocate of states' rights, and I'm betting she'd be fine with letting states and their voters grapple with the issue on their own. Remember that all of America didn't swing toward approval of gay marriage on Nov. 6. Three reliably blue states and their voters did. If she were smart, Palin would recruit a member of her impressive gay fanboy base — yes, she has one — to help run her campaign. I nominate Kevin DuJan of the widely read gay conservative blog HillBuzz, a Palin stalwart since 2008.
Palin's son Track is an Iraq war veteran, so she can be proudly patriotic without being labeled another George W. Bush, looking to do aggressive nation-building. She seems aware there is only one nation in need of building right now: America.
Furthermore, looks count in politics, and Palin at age 48, has it all over her possible competition, including Hillary Rodham Clinton, who will be 69 by election day 2016 and who let someone talk her into adopting the flowing blond locks of a college student, making her look like Brunnhilde in a small-town Wagner production. Men love Sarah Palin, and she loves men.
|Oh yeah, she's a beauty all right.|
I'm sorry I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Has this woman ever even WATCHED Sarah Palin give an interview? Or seen her lately? Or REALLY given this argument any thought whatsoever?
Literally EVERYTHING she says to describe Palin is complete mooseshit. In fact the very mooseshit that the Grizzled Mama failed to sell to the American people in 2008.
You know when they rejected her, and that old fossil she was running with. Since then she has been relegated to nothing more than the punchline for late night comedians and a oft repeated cautionary tale for budding politicians for wannabe vice presidential nominees.
But wait, it gets better. Look how the author ended her lunatic argument.
Sarah Palin is the new Ronald Reagan: charming and affable and unwilling to back down if she's right. I can't see what's wrong with that.
I was actually almost convinced that this MUST be a parody, but nope, the idiot is dead serious.
As literally insane as it appears to be, the Republican party is so beyond damaged, that there are some within its ranks that would actually consider resurrecting the Wasilla Banshee from the ashes and trotting her out as the 2016 Republican nominee.
And to that all I have to say is, "Oh please, please, please do that!" Just the IDEA of Sarah Palin facing off against Hillary Clinton makes my little blogging nipples hard.
And THIS time I will make damn sure that reporters get all of the information they need to prove that this nutjob faked that last pregnancy if I have to kidnap the witnesses and MAKE them confess all they know to the under threat of serious bodily injury. Though to be honest, I am pretty sure that IF the GOP ever really got this desperate I would not have to even reach out to the people in the know. In fact THEY would be breaking down MY door.
P.S. By the way, if you are of a mind to do so, you can e-mail Ms. Allen here and tell her EXACTLY how painfully incorrect she is about the Lunatic from Lake Lucille. Or if you would rather, encourage her in this endeavor until it blows up in her face. Your choice.
Update: As you might expect the Sea O'Pee is ALL OVER this.