Sunday, January 27, 2013

Catholic Bishop, and anti-gay activist, claims that priest who was found handcuffed and with a ball gag in his mouth was just relieving stress. Oh, THAT'S what they call it!

Father Tom Donovan
Courtesy of Wisconsin gazette:

In early January, Father Tom Donovan dialed 911 and described himself as being stuck in a potential medical emergency. Police respondents found him wearing a bondage-style mouth gag and handcuffs. 

Despite the implications of being discovered in such a situation, however, Paprocki, who is fighting marriage equality efforts underway in his state, said Donovan merely practiced self-bondage to relieve stress. According to Paprocki, the situation underscores the hardships of clerical life. 

“The unfortunate result of such patterns of life – in no way limited to the experience of Catholic priests – is that persons often find themselves seeking patterns of ‘self-medication’ to soothe emotional turmoil,” Paprocki wrote. “Alcoholism, the use of illicit drugs, compulsive gambling, sexual acting out and the use of pornography are some of the more common manifestations, none of which were present in this situation. Instead, according to the clinical therapist, Father Donovan is suffering from a psychological condition that manifests itself in self-bondage as a response to stress. The clinical therapist also confirms that the strict absence of illicit sexual behaviors, relationships, and patterns reveal that this self-bondage is to be understood as non-sexual in nature.” 

Donovan is currently on a leave of absence from his stressful job.

Well I think this explanation seems perfectly reasonable. I mean who DOESN'T go home alone, strap on some bondage gear, shove in a ball gag, and put on a pair of comfy handcuffs, after a stressful day at the office?

People can be so judgmental!

I do have one question however.

Where were the keys to the handcuffs?

I mean I am no expert, but I do believe that most handcuffs come with two sets of keys. So where were the keys to these?

In fact you know they make toy handcuffs for kids which have a safety latch on them in case some child gets stuck and loses the key. Why not simply use one of those? Same effect without the risk?

I mean I 'm just saying that this way it almost seems. if somebody were suspicious I mean, that perhaps there was another party involved who might possibly have left with the keys which forced the priest to make that truly embarrassing phone call. 

My favorite part of this story is how they try super hard to make sure that people don't think it is about anything sexual. This from the police statement:

Father Donovan appears to have been completely forthright with me in his account of this event, which is consistent with the public record. In the face of the embarrassment of these revelations, the subsequent attention of the press, and the widespread distribution of misinformation found on the Internet and elsewhere, he asks for the basic respect of accurate reporting of the event, the correction of untrue defamatory information arising from unsubstantiated rumors and claims, and the privacy now to heal from the trauma of this event and the original stress that precipitated it. 

Although the psychological explanation of non-sexual self-bondage provides some context to what occurred, yet the details of this incident are understandably disturbing. 

Yeah okay.  Though, and I hate to be nit picky, doesn't ANY form of bondage have a sexual connotation to it? I mean isn't the point to be aroused, or stimulated, by the idea of being restrained? 

I'm just saying.

But hey what a man of the cloth does when he is off the clock is no business of mine, so long as it does not involve any under age children that is.


  1. angela12:36 PM


  2. Anyone who believes the story the Archdiocese tried out on the public deserves what they get for a priest. Others might justifiably wonder what other kind of revenge Fr. Donovan's bondage partner[s?] has planned for him. This was just the first time he's been publicly humiliated, right? Get the popcorn for this one.

  3. Well actually, there is no "off the clock", for a true Catholic, so epic fail for Father Donovan.

  4. Anonymous1:02 PM

    I went inside a rectory once to look for some bottled water and came to find a large closet with bi fold doors converted to a bar complete with mini fridge, stocked ceiling high with very expensive liquor. Cognac, champagne, vintage wine, rare vodkas and most of the bottles were half empty. They sure know how to medicate.

    Come on now!! Ball gag?? Handcuffs?? Was he wearing a leather mask too? I can't stop laughing at this =D. As for the missing keys, they were up his ass. He was going to try and unlock the cuffs by pinching his anus and rotating his spinchter. Ha ha ha

    1. Anonymous1:31 PM

      Did you check all the drawers. The bar wasn't fully stocked unless you found the double dongs and inflatable Sarah Palin dolls.

    2. Anonymous2:23 PM

      There's a reason it's called the "rectory", just sayin'.

    3. hedgewytch3:53 PM

      2:23 - You made me LOL! Good one!

  5. Anonymous1:06 PM

    Father Donovan appears to have been completely forthright with me in his account of this event, which is consistent with the public record. In the face of the embarrassment of these revelations, the subsequent attention of the press, and the widespread distribution of misinformation found on the Internet and elsewhere, he asks for the basic respect of accurate reporting of the event, the correction of untrue defamatory information arising from unsubstantiated rumors and claims, and the privacy now to heal from the trauma of this event and the original stress that precipitated it.


    APD's dave parker get bored with retirement already and go to work in Wisconsin ?

    1. Anonymous1:35 PM

      Definitely needs privacy. Hard to do all this with the press running around with their reporters and videographers getting in the way.

  6. Anonymous1:23 PM

    The guy that had the keys to the cuffs got busted for speeding and then was detained for having pot, illegal paraphernalia, and automatic weapons in the car, as well as a couple of skinny South American boys, adds 13 & 14, who were in restraints and blindfolded in the trunk of his car. That would cause me to be stressed as well.

    1. Anonymous1:32 PM

      *ages*, not *adds*

  7. Anonymous1:27 PM

    I can hardly talk on the phone with one of those ball gags strapped on. Even texting is a pain if the cuffs are too tight. And skyping? That's no walk in the park either. Being a priest IS stressful.

  8. Anonymous1:41 PM

    Dummy. Look at the diagram. You're supposed to put the cuffs on last. Now how are you going to get the diving suit on, not to mention getting the vibrating dildo keestered in your heinie?

  9. Anonymous1:52 PM

    Omitted from police report:
    Subject appears to be a conservative political activist. Bumper stickers on subject's car:

    Republican For Family Values

    Don't Mess with my Guns or my Ass Toys

    Larry Craig isn't Gay, and neither am I. Nor have we ever been gay.

    Oral contraceptives are Immoral. Only Heteros need that stuff.

  10. hedgewytch1:53 PM

    Methinks that the church needs to get a new clinical therapist as the one that interviewed this "priest" obviously barely passed his graduation exams. Or perhaps he wrote his thesis on the subject. The paper was titled - "Just because they are using sexual fetish -bondage devices doesn't mean that there is any kind of sexual deviancy going on.". He got a D on the paper.

    1. Anonymous6:14 PM

      Another home-schooler w/o critical thinking skills. "I KNOW he was telling the truth. He's a priest. "

  11. lostinmn1:55 PM

    This story will fade fast. The Catholic church is nothing but masters at CYA PR following some sexcapade with a priest involved.

    1. After centuries of practicing the *deny first, then attack your accusers* methodology, they're pretty good at it. Because bad press for the church equals religious oppression equals increased donations equals higher profit margins. It's just good business to be a victim every now and then.

  12. Anonymous2:12 PM

    A "man of the cloth" in my neighborhood, killed himself yesterday rather than to face potentially hundreds (according to victims' attorney) of NEW sexual abuse claims at a local catholic high school. Apparently he was "transferred" by church from his old high school in Ohio - where he did the same thing, church paid off 11 victims - to his new high school in PA. He worked as a coach/trainer who treated every athletic injury with naked whirlpool followed by massage. The local church leaders are in super damage control mode. "Pray for Brother Baker, pray for ALLEGED victims." Better plan to put more money in the collection plates to pay for this one! I, personally, am popping the popcorn!!

  13. Anonymous2:16 PM

    Around here we call them preverts!

  14. Anita Winecooler2:19 PM

    I want to know how he hid the toys and bullwhip before calling. This story is sad, it almost rectum in the rectory!

    Hey, Father, you've listened to a lot of people talking about their sins, just wondering-
    Do infants enjoy infancy as much as Adults enjoy Adultery? (h/t to Steven Wright)

  15. Anonymous2:22 PM

    He was a very, very bad boy and thus, didn't deserve access to keys. He was such a bad boy that he had to be discovered by authorities and thus humiliated, for being such a bad boy, ya know, just sayin'


  16. Irishgirl2:28 PM

    Gryphen, I handcuff myself and use mouth gags every time I am stressed. You are being to hard on this fecker. It's normal!

    1. Irishgirl3:23 PM


    2. Anonymous5:02 PM

      Me, too, Irishgirl. A little alcohol helps, too. And a lot of alcohol helps a lot. Maybe a couple of hookers occasionally, who sometimes joke about leaving me bound and cuffed with my arms around a support beam in our department's conference room, and taking the keys to the cuffs when I joke about not paying them their ever-increasing hourly rates.

      These ladies have quite a sense of humor. Todd really took care of me nicely with these gals. Initially, he forgot to tell me they were amateur photographers, and they always take pictures --- for their own portfolios, I guess. I am always generous with their tips when they remind me that both my boss and the HR Director might like to see those pics of me using company resources and my workplace for entertainment. Maybe they would use them in an ad campaign? Or send them to the press so we could get some free PR and mentions in the business press.

      But I don't really want to be a famous model or a skinny Hollywood star. So I only meet with them after hours at my workplace, and pay COD. And I always remember to send a little something to Todd afterwards, even if he is late mailing out invoices for * snow machine maintenance*. I know the drill by heart now. What a guy Todd is. He's kind enough to also supply talent for one of my clients as well. What's funny is that my client doesn't even have a snow machine, but he pays the same as I do.

      I'm sure that senior directors don't mind me *unwinding* after a stressful day of sexually harassing the staff and firing old people, women, and minorities. I love my job and I'm damn good at it. But it is rather stressful.

  17. Balzafiar2:29 PM

    Hey, the guy is lucky; he's still alive.

    Worst case scenario: found dead from asphyxiation in a closet wearing high heels and a four-foot garden hose with one end stuck in his ass and the other end attached to the gas mask he was wearing.

    I wonder if his last meal would have been a helping heaping of beans?

    Now that would be embarrassing to the surviving family.

  18. The 911 call is hilarious. The voice sounds a little garbled.

    1. Anita Winecooler4:10 PM

      Yes! Funny as hell, he sounds so meek and respectful! I hope it was a female officer that responded, preferably one with kids at his school? !

  19. Anonymous2:49 PM

    Remember how the priest flagellates himself in Angels and Demons? It's all part of the dark arts that go on in the priesthood for some factions.

  20. Anonymous2:52 PM

    Priests do all sorts of kinky, cruel punishment to themselves:

    Mortification of the flesh is the institutional expiatory act of a person or group's penance for atonement of sins and path to sanctity. The term is primarily used in religious and spiritual contexts. The practice is found in many cultures, most notably the Roman Catholic Church and their penitential saints.

  21. Anonymous2:55 PM

    Brother Stephen Baker Commits Suicide, Franciscan Friar Accused Of Sexual Abuse In 2 States

    A Franciscan friar accused of sexually abusing students at Catholic high schools in Ohio and Pennsylvania killed himself at a western Pennsylvania monastery, police said Saturday.

    Brother Stephen Baker, 62, was found dead of a self-inflicted knife wound at the St. Bernardine Monastery in Hollidaysburg on Saturday morning, Blair Township Police Chief Roger White said. He declined to say whether a note was found.

    Baker was named in legal settlements last week involving 11 men who alleged that he sexually abused them at a Catholic high school in northeast Ohio three decades ago. The undisclosed financial settlements announced Jan. 16 involved his contact with students at John F. Kennedy High School in Warren, Ohio from 1986-90.

    The Youngstown diocese previously said it was unaware of the allegations until nearly 20 years after the alleged abuse.

    "Let us continue to pray for all victims of abuse, for Brother Baker's family and the repose of his soul," Youngstown Bishop George Murry said in a statement Saturday.

    After the settlements were announced, the Altoona-Johnstown Diocese in central Pennsylvania said it received complaints in 2011 of possible abuse by Baker at Bishop McCort High School in Johnstown, about 60 miles east of Pittsburgh.

    Bishop McCort High School hired an attorney to investigate after several former students alleged they were molested by Baker in the 1990s. Attorney Susan Williams said three former students had talked to her in detail about the alleged abuse.

    May he ROT in an unholy place for all eternity.

  22. Anonymous2:56 PM

    The "official" statement is a work of a person with high functioning word salad skill. Really? I mean, really?

  23. WakeUpAmerica2:56 PM

    Oh good grief.

  24. Anonymous2:57 PM

    Catholic Institution, Offers Course On Atheism

    ...The eight-week course, which meets every Wednesday afternoon, is on atheism. Or more precisely, "Responding to 21st-Century Atheism."

    It's an attempt, says the Rev. Scott Lewis, for people of faith to understand and come to terms with the increasingly muscular secularism and atheism that has arisen in Western societies over the past generation.

    Atheism "has become militant, aggressive and proselytizing," said Lewis, a Jesuit scripture scholar, who teaches the class with three other scholars. "It's made great in-roads and is now socially acceptable. If you're young and educated and believe in God, you're (seen as) a jerk."

    While the course examines the increasing polarization between non-believers and people of faith, it will not be about confronting secularists or engaging in polemics, Lewis stressed before the first class of about 155 students in the adult-education program.

    Both sides need to lighten up, he said.

    "One idea for atheists to leave behind is that people who believe are stupid or naive," Lewis suggested. "And perhaps we should leave behind the idea that an atheist is someone who is not ethical or a good person.

    "A person can be a believer and be quite intelligent. A person can be an atheist and be quite a morally upright person."

    1. Anonymous4:05 PM

      Whatever, Atheists don't ask for money to "spread their disbelief", however, the christians always need some more bucks for their coffers, for whatever reasons. More Atheists mean less dollars for the church. Gah, sheeples make me sick.

    2. “´Believing' in God" is quite one thing, believing in religion is quite another--ah--shall we say, kettle of fish?

    3. Leland4:23 PM

      Gee, THANKS! Nice of you to say we can be upstanding and moral.

      GET this: MOST of us are more moral than the crappy people pushing the Xtian crap!

    4. 4:05 PM

      RCC is another crime organization working a little different angle than La Cosa Nostra. As they say, it ain't nothin personal. It's jus bid'ness."

  25. Anonymous5:06 PM

    That John Holmes dildo stuck in my lower GI, that was prescribed by a doctor for stress relief. I'm a victim in all of this.

    1. Anonymous5:54 PM

      Bishop Paprocki: "Right. And Fr Donovan, from your comprehensive explanation to the police investigator, I understand that the two Hot Wheels scale model cars that were revealed in the x-rays of your colon, just drove in there and parked by accident, likely because someone had given them the wrong address. Perfectly understandable. This probably made the stress worse. So we will likely want to transfer you to a less stressful parish, after your 30-day vacation where you can get a little R & R, along with a little sun, at one of our retreats in lesser developed countries with a beach and relaxed kiddy-fiddling laws. How does that sound?"

    2. Anonymous6:09 PM

      5:06 PM

      I believe you, Chuck. It's only because the Lamestream media hates me so much that they have to attack my family. What's wrong with putting foreign items up our asses? I wasn't raised to retreat when someone wanted to insert something big into my rectum. I put on my big-girl panties and I took it like the man I am. We have the god-given rights to put whatever we want up our heine, or he who was so desireous of this desire of one of our freedom-loving patriot friends. It's in the constitution, and the pledge of allegiance, also, too. ---SP

  26. Anonymous5:42 PM

    Hey, OF COURSE this was a totally non-sexual bondage thing. He did it all just to himself, just to calm himself down. Just like that black kid hid a gun in his socks, and when he was handcuffed, with his hands behind his back, sitting in the police car, he was able to reach down into his socks, pull out the gun, and put the gun to his left temple and shoot himself, even though his hands were handcuffed behind his back, and he was a righty... (Police report of some 'suicide' that happened, I believe, somewhere in Florida last year.)

  27. Anonymous5:59 PM

    " This is just left-wing propaganda put out there to make good conservatives look bad. I don't understand why the Libruls are making such a big fuss about this. It happens to me all the time. Thank goodness the Wasilla police know us so well and are so helpful to us."

    ~Chuck Heath, Jr.

  28. Anonymous7:31 PM

    From the photo above, is Father Donovan a chaplain in the military? In uniform and decorated?
    Maybe there is more to Abu Ghraib then we thought- more of a conversion/Sunday school picnic lark?

    Blushing Wild Tortoise

  29. Anonymous5:06 AM

    Watch your children.....and your wallets around the servants of the lord.

  30. Randall7:58 AM



    that does sound nasty

    Sounds kind of like it might the preferred form a abuse for Tea-baggers.


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