Saturday, March 16, 2013

Perhaps the best parody of how the Fundamentalists believe a debate with a liberal evolutionist would go that I have ever read. I dare you to read through this without laughing out loud.

I could not make it even through the first two sentences before my eyes teared up with laughter.

In case you have trouble reading it, this is what it says:

A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx. 

"Before class begins you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he is the most highly evolved being the world has ever know, even greater than Jesus Christ."

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

"How old is this rock?"

The arrogant professor smiled quite Jewishly and replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian."

"Wrong. It's been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real...then it should be an animal now."

The professor was visibly shaken and dropped his copy of Origin of Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. 

The students applauded and all registered as Republicans that day and accepted  Jesus Christ as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American flag and shed a tear on the chalk board. The Pledge of Allegiance was read several times and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

You know the truly humorous thing about this is that I bet there are NUMEROUS Right Wingers who could read almost the entire thing before realizing that it is not supposed to be taken seriously.


  1. Leland3:14 AM

    Hell, if a man could live long enough to survive 1500 tours of duty, even I would reconsider. He would be able to tell us first hand about a quarter of the time they claim this planet has been around! And that's just his COMBAT time!


    Unfortunately, Gryph I am afraid there are actually some of these assh**es that might actually BELIEVE the above - like those who go to Bob Jones University here in Greenville! (Says he, hanging his head in shame.)

  2. Anonymous3:40 AM

    I have to disagree with you Gryph.

    I bet there are numerous right-wingers who read this and NEVER suspect it is parody.

    1. You're probably right. 3, 2, 1 and it starts plopping into email inboxes all over the country...

    2. Anonymous5:23 AM

      Nefer4:50 AM

      You're probably right. 3, 2, 1 and it starts plopping into email inboxes all over the country...

      ...with a why ain't the LIBRUL media reporting this? as well as a hey nonny, nonny and a ha cha cha?

    3. Anonymous7:24 AM

      And if you want to fool the rest of them then just label it as "Breaking News from an online news site."

      Like The onion or the Daily Currant and Breitbsrt recently...

  3. Anonymous5:22 AM

    Of course, the denouement would be that all those newly Xtian student under small gubmint no longer have Pel grants and get to become de facto slaves (receiving food and shelter from their corporate masters, for which they should be grateful, of course) and go to work in the coal mines, increasing their masters' off-shore, not-even-subject-to-the-flat-rate tax bank accounts.

    1. Leland8:32 AM

      You're probably right, 5:22. They wouldn't be like Senator Portman who had enough brain cells to rub together to change his mind when his son SLAPPED him with the news he was gay. 2+2 doesn't add up to 4 in their world. (I almost said minds, but I am beginning to wonder if there is a whole one in the entire group - even if we could get them to combine!)

      So they would never figure out that what they had succeeded in doing was the direct CAUSE of their losses!

  4. Anita Winecooler2:33 PM

    Thanks for the laughs! I worked with a wingnut years ago who spouted this bullshit all day long, we kept her in a file room away from the clients. After awhile it becomes "White noise". She'd lap this up like a kitten does milk!


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