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| Masturbating fetuses are such a problem in this country. |
Rep. Michael Burgess (R-Texas) said Monday that abortion should be banned as early as 15 weeks after conception because he has witnessed male fetuses masturbate at that stage.
RH Reality Check first reported Burgess' comments, which came during a late-night House Rules Committee hearing on a GOP bill that would ban abortions starting at 20 weeks after conception.
"This is a subject that I do know something about,” said Burgess, a former OB/GYN. "There is no question in my mind that a baby at 20 weeks after conception can feel pain. The fact of the matter is, I argue with the chairman because I thought the date was far too late. We should be setting this at 15 weeks, 16 weeks."
"Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” Burgess continued. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to think that they could feel pain?"
First of let me just express how embarrassed I am that it took me so long to figure out how pleasurable it is to masturbate. I was ALREADY born when I first polished the bishop, if you can believe it.
Second I finally understand whey we have original sin.
Here I thought that babies were all innocent and everything, only to discover that they have been wanking like drunken sailors since BEFORE they left the birth canal. (Personally I don't how they can do that with their mother so close. My mom walked in on me when i was sixteen and I almost jumped out of he window.)
And thirdly, how is it that even after a Republican says "This is a subject that I do know something about," they can STILL be so completely thick headed about the subject?
And here I thought I had already heard the stupidest thing a Republican could say. Gotta keep lowering that bar.
"Texas Congressman says abortion should be banned at 15 weeks because fetuses masturbate. Wait, what?"
ReplyDelete--------------------------------
Tut-tut, Gryphen, let's be accurate here.
"If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs."
This is all about male fetuses fapping away. He didn't say anything about female fetuses, because we all know that females would never pleasure themselves because the only thing they are useful for is pleasuring males, amirite?
I said exactly that elsewhere today...How in the hell does he know it's a male fetus if there is a tiny hand between its tiny legs stroking its tiny what exactly? This guy is as certifiable as the rest of the GOP...male, stupid, and proud of it.
Delete"...If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs...." Rep. Michael Burgess (R-Texas)
Deleteproject much?
LOL! his wife must be doing a bang-up job hiding her toys :P
DeleteAre they born blind?
ReplyDeleteborn baby news... Kim Kardashian gave birth early like the wanna b Kardasian from the North. Kim's baby was healthy and under 5 pounds. Sarah's baby had health issues, came early and was over 6 pounds.
That's 'cause Sarah needed a 'special' baby to enhance her limited credibility with the GOP men. It always amazed me that she was applauded for taking on the campaign with a 4 month old 'special needs' child supposedly still on her breast (yeah, I can imagine her breastfeeding Track.."Ouch. That hurts. Todd, get that bottle in here! Now!" I breastfed both my kids for 13 months, and it takes energy, dedication, endless time, and the ability to give up sleep for 6 months and still function without drugs or caffeine. Yeah, Sarah is all that. What a piece of work. Her parents must be so proud of the Liar from Lake Lucille (or is it Manhattan this week?)
DeleteIt's been pretty well proven (in Alaska) that Sarah Palin did NOT birth that last kid. It was all a farce!!! Palin used that kid to assist in the election process w/McCain, but thank god they failed and President Obama and VP Biden were elected.
DeleteWait until my very religious mother finds out I was treating her womb like a back alley porn theater.
ReplyDeletehahahaha! Now that was great!
DeleteAnon 12:49pm
DeleteSon, you're not exactly anonymous to me. I read Gryphen's blog, too.
---Mom
Mom?
DeleteIs that really you?
Cut me some slack, I went cold turkey for 14 long years after I was born. Yes, I admit I took it up again with a vengeance, but c'mon it was just sitting there looking so sad and neglected.
Fortunately now that I'm approaching 60 I don't do it any more at all. Well that's not exactly true, but I've cut down to a manageable level.
Gryphen, it's times like these you desperately need a 'like' button LOL!!! now I know I'm going to have to read every damn comment just to get my giggle quota in for today.
DeleteMy Mom walked in on me too.
ReplyDeleteNow Moms, for the love of God explain, the purpose of this humiliation to me.
Be careful.
I will believe you.
And your explanation.
payback for all the times you couldn't wait until mom got the clean, dry diaper in place
DeleteAt how many weeks are first ultrasounds usually done? I haven't witnessed one in 18+ years.
DeleteI don't recall that he was fapping during his first ultrasound, but I did find a nice stack of Playboy books with a crisp new $100 bill sitting on top of them on my boy's desk in his room a couple of weeks ago. The fact that they were from 1980-82 reminded me that that my Mom had found a few of mine from my college days from around the same time period inside a box with a bunch of junk from my college days I'd forgotten about.
Trying to think of how to politely inquire about the Playboy Mags, but still tell him not to be leavibg those laying around or his mom would have us copking for ourselves for a week or more, I asked if he had received any more graduation gifts in the past few days. Before I could finish, he quickly replied, "No, but Mamaw gave me $100 to help her clean some of your junk out of a closet and the attic, including some old Playboy Magazines and fraternity junk. So don't be messing with that stuff in my room. I've got a friend who's going to buy those on my desk for 50 bucks."
Me: "You're not selling shit until I look at them first! In fact, get your own subscription. These are too sentimental to sell."
Son: "My Dad is a fapper. I'm going to tell Mom AND Mamaw!!!"
For Dog's sake, that rivals EVEN Todd Akin's legitamite rape comment for the ultimate in Teaparty Taliban stupidity!
ReplyDeleteWhat if a girl fetus touches her as-yet to be formed nipple? Is she a dyke-in-training? Should we spank fetuses in utero to stop them from such sin?
Maybe we should force preggie moms to sit next to a 200 watt stereo with JBL 15's and play Charles Dobson sermons at 150 db volume so the "innocent" tykes will learn to feel shame even before they're born.
In fact, what's up with boy children coming down the birth canal, and of all things they might reach out and touch THEIR OWN MOM!!!!
We oughta bind up their little hands and feet, or just mandate by US Constitutional amendment that from now on, ALL BOY BABIES must be born by Caesarean so they don't touch Mom's parts!
Yeah, now that's rill religious doctrine fer you !
These congressfolk didn't just show up one day and start working at being legislators. A group of like-minded - or, at least, mind-controlled - people had to have voted them in. There can't be that many dunderheads around, can there? Or did too many sane people have better things to do on voting day?
ReplyDeleteWell, it's obvious to me that we need to abort those little perverts right now!
ReplyDeleteAnd what about identical twins who share the same amniotic sac? Heaven knows what THEY get up to, the little-bitty perverts!
DeleteDon't think I have ever read such a classic case of projection (so to speak).
ReplyDeleteI am glad he is a former OB/GYN physician because he must hve been asleep or not kept current on fetal development research.
ReplyDeleteIs he referring to gestational or embryonic age? Does he even realize that there is a difference?
Hand reflexes don't start until Week 23 gestaional age or week 20 at emrynoice age, so is he saying the first thing the male fetus does is grab for the penis when the hand starts to work? Good freaking grief. The man needs to get some perspective. It could just b that the tiny "hand" is resting between the legs because, after all, there isn't much room to move around in there.
I wnat proof tthat female fetuses do't have arms that rest between the legs. Does he only concentrate on the male fetus? If so, why?
The nersous system doesn't develop until 26 weeks gestational age or embroyonic ae week 24. So, if the male fetus is clutching his weenies, can it really "feel pleasure" at week 20 (whatever measure is made) if its nervous system has not developed sufficiently to control some bodily functions?
But is it even big enough to grab at 20 weeks?
DeleteYes, the nervous system isn't even hooked up until just about the third trimester. The Republiscum used to claim that a 9-day-old fetus could "squirm away from an abortion needle"; something a newborn can't do. Now they're saying a 15-week embryo can masturbate, when a newborn baby can't do that. Why do they think newborn babies are less developed that first-trimester embryos?
DeleteThanks for the voice of reason. I took embryology a loooong time ago - didn't want to mess up the weeks, Thanks for the info!
DeleteBut we all know that "facts" do not matter to Republicans. God help the poor stupid women who were once treated by this moron! Did he let any "facts" or any semblance of reality come into play when he was a practicing OB/GYN?
DeleteBeaglemom
Isn't 16 weeks (if amniocentesis is performed) the earliest doctors can tell the sex of the fetus? I mean, the earliest ultrasounds try to successfully determine the sex is 18 weeks, and event then they can't always do it.
DeleteWhy anyone would waste a vote on a Republican in the next election is beyond me. They keep looking like idiots - anti women's rights, initiate redistricting in areas across the nation, work to enforce voter suppression,are proven racists, liars, obstructionists, voted to decrease funding to Planned Parenthood and food stamps and invented scandals that have not been proven by Issa as to their connection to President Obama and his administration.
ReplyDeleteAren't they just a pretty picture? Not!!
We need to get out the vote in 2014 and vote as many of them out of office in Washington D.C. as possible. We need a turnout like we had last time!!! Republicans could care less about the American people that they represent!
Key word here is 'former' in front of OB-GYN. Hopefully it's because someone pulled his license when they figured out how nutz and utterly stupid he was.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Unc G, there apparently is NO end to the crazy and they try to outdo each other with each passing day. Beginning to believe in those parallel universes cause I sure feel like I'm in one and can't find my way out of the cray cray.
Parallel universe- twilight zone, any of them, all of them.
DeleteI feel the same way.
Sometimes I wonder if we are being tested or punked. If we alone or in unison, put our hands up and said "i give up" we could stop being this failed social experiment for an alien kid's science fair project lol!
This evolution of our country has to be a joke with a script.
In a widely cited 1987 letter published in the Journal of Ultrasound in Medicine, an Israeli researcher reported a 28-week fetus observed “grasping his penis in a fashion resembling masturbation movements” over 15 minutes. “To the best of our knowledge, this is the first report of a fetal `masturbation’ in utero,” reported Dr. Israel Meizner, a medical doctor now on faculty at Tel Aviv University.
DeleteI'm also thinkin' Burgess read that letter and is making this up as his own personal experience. The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology calls bullshit on his claim. Liar, liar, pants on fire.
These goons want to sexualize everything.
ReplyDeleteHe's arguing that all those future little boys should have the right to masturbate. No mention of little girls, since that would be crazy dirty talk.
It's all about MEN.
From the picture, and from his bio, I certainly would not want this man delivering my children. Luckily, I live, even in a small town, where there are choices of which doctor you want in the delivery room. Many of these now are women M.D.s, who are as good or better than their male counterparts, and know what it's all about. No preaching: just good solid medical advice.
A thought just crossed my mind. He's talking about fetuses masturbating but specifies only "IF" it's a boy. Why bother specifying in the first place, since everyone knows (though may not accept) that both sexes masturbate? He didn't have to say either sex, just "little alive angel babies masturbate" and leave it open in that way. I'm not sure it's "all about MEN", I'm wondering if he's not like every other GOP perv and just doesn't want to draw attention to the fact he's thinking of the opposite sex at all.
DeleteKim kardashians baby was only 5 pounds? She was HUGE. I thought she'd give birth a much bigger baby, even if early.
ReplyDeleteAlso , too Palin is such a liar. Where is Tri-g SarAh? Your precious gift from god , about whom you give no shit as he BACKFIREd on you lol!
The K baby was over a month early. Trig, at 6, 7 or 8 weeks early, should have been much smaller than the baby presented to the world by the Heaths.
DeleteBeaglemom
technically it's Kris Humphries baby as they are not divorced. He could file for custody. Wouldn't that be a hoot.
Deletemore: maybe it IS Kris's baby.
DeleteHmm. So he sees a male fetus on an ultrasound with a hand between its legs and his mind goes right to it's 'pleasuring' itself?
ReplyDeleteI'd keep this clown far, far away from children.
Now I know why I had hair on my palms when I was born.
ReplyDeleteMe, too. Plus I was born naked and bald.
DeleteThis is just creepy. All these guys think about is sex. To attribute it to a fetus reveals an unnatural mind.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. He'll be arrested for pedophilia soon, just wait and see.
DeleteIt is just too creepy for words.
DeleteA case of selective sonogram viewing. There are also sonograms (and other tests) showing malformed fetus that will not survive or will endanger the life of the pregnant woman. Rep. Michael Burgess (R-Texas) should exam his small government credentials and get his legislative nose OUT of women's baby making apparatus.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if GOP physicians become politicians because they are not very good doctors. Hmmm. Not one of them in Congress ever makes much sense. Thank God I never had to see this guy!
ReplyDeleteBeaglemom
Next the little fella will be smoking a doobie in there and wanting the keys to the car. Damn, kids grow up too fast these days.
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm making fun of the bagger ex-doc who was probably watching a Braves game on an old black and white TV and had a flashback to a time long ago when he wasn't crazy yet. Dumbass.
I once knew someone from Denton, Tx (his district)... They weren't quite as stupid as this stooge, but close.... I'm telling you something has been put in the water supply for Texas... Severe stupid has occurred way too many times over the last year for this to be a coincidence ......
ReplyDeleteI swear to Allah the clowns can't get more stupid! Jesus H. Christ where do they come from? Are their constituents one of us?
ReplyDeleteAnd when the infrastructure, economy, social services, schools, education are in jeopardy in the country, these limptards focus on the inner workings of a vagina. AHHHH! I can't stand it anymore!
you are too funny, all of these comments are classics.
DeleteThat guy is way fucked up, so can he tell if the embryo is gay or not?
cuz if that little sack of embrionic pud is gay how does that work out?
The Daily Show Hilariously Skewers Christians Calling Gay People Intolerant
ReplyDeleteThe Daily Show aired a field piece featuring Samantha Bee highlighting the true victims of intolerance in the gay marriage debate: evangelical Christians. Bee found a right-wing radio host who finds himself oppressed by the intolerant voices of people he does not tolerate, and used his example to show just how rough Christians have it. Or not.
Bee sat there listening to ravings about gay people “find[ing] straights to beat up” and mockingly assuaged his fears, walking with him on the street and yelling at people not to judge him.
Bee narrated how there are “so few places where [Christians] can safely congregate” except for pretty much everywhere in the country. She also sat down with a Christian gay man who made it clear he was only bullied because of that second thing, not the first one.
Bee concluded her report with a message of peace: “Be proud of who you are and who you want to condemn to eternal damnation.”
Watch the video below, courtesy of Comedy Central:
http://www.mediaite.com/tv/the-daily-show-hilariously-skewers-christians-calling-gay-people-intolerant/
Even with no chance of passage, this vote is much more than symbolic. This is a long game that these people have been playing for forty years, and every vote that a Democrat makes against this bill has the chance to serve a purpose down the road.
ReplyDeleteHere’s the clip, from MSNBC Live:
http://www.mediaite.com/tv/msnbc-anchor-accuses-shocked-gop-rep-marsha-blackburn-of-pandering-on-abortion-ban/
Idaho GOPer: Void Anti-Bias Laws So I Don’t Have To Hire Gays In Tutus
ReplyDeletehttp://www.spokesman.com/stories/2013/jun/17/idaho-gop-wants-non-discrimination-ordinances-void/
the utter ignorance!
Maddow Tears Apart GOP Fringe Views, Fetal Masturbation Theory: They Keep Finding New Ways To Shock Us
ReplyDeleteRachel Maddow opened her show tonight taking the Republican party to task again for their continuing insistence on fighting for stricter and stricter anti-abortion laws, culminating in the GOP-led House today passing a huge federal ban. Maddow found time to break down everything from reminding viewers about the Todd Akins of the party to her explicit shock at today’s newest claim that fetuses masturbate. Yes, that’s where this debate has gone to now.
http://www.mediaite.com/tv/maddow-tears-apart-gop-fringe-views-fetal-masturbation-theory-they-keep-finding-new-ways-to-shock-us/
Male Fetuses also like to grab their umbilical chords and play "Tarzan" or "George of the Jungle", perhaps he mistook the umbilical chord for a penis?
ReplyDeleteOne of the most absurd points made by anti-choice people who listen to Rush Limbaugh is how legal abortion has caused our culture to decay and children are less beloved. I always wonder if these idiots have ever taken a history class or read DIckens. I am so sick of the idiocy of this talking point. I guess they would prefer to see a passel of Bristol Palin teen moms.
ReplyDeleteThanks for letting me get that off my chest.
As to the US House of Reps? It appears to be the place the most stupid Repubs reside.
Jimmy Carr defends Atheism
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEu07RzZgbU
Isn't child porn against the law? I know at some point a fetus can feel pain, but don't know when...
ReplyDeleteI have yet to see a new born masturbate.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's because they are free floating in utero that they do it?
Don't monkeys and chimps masturbate? How does that fit into their creationism theme?
I wouldn't let that old pervert anywhere near me with a speculum. OB/GYN, what inspired his career choice? He needs to have his pap smeared!
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong w/the politicians from TX? They are one weird bunch beginning w/Perry (the idiot!).
ReplyDeleteWhat a sick fuck this guy is to suggest that a fetus at 15-weeks of development consciously puts a hand between its legs for reasons of pleasure.
ReplyDeleteDid this nut have his medical license yanked for losing touch with reality? I don't care how many babies he's delivered. He's full of shit on this subject, and purposely lying in order to promote disinformation that supports his personal and political agenda. And using his credentials as a former doctor is unethical, and I hope other medical professionals will call him out on this nonsense.
"polished the bishop"...OMG!! you are Killing Me Jesse!!..coffee everywhere,an it hurts coming from the nose..hahahahhahahaha!! Thank You,Thank You,Thank You..now I can go about the rest of my day with a smile on my face..Damn I love you Man!
ReplyDeleteMakes one wonder what the South Park guys are going to do with THIS one?
ReplyDelete