Thursday, December 19, 2013

Mitt the movie.

I have heard several political pundits saying that this movie humanizes Mitt, and if the American public had seen something like it before the election it might have improved his chances.

Nuh uh.

When his son said that the country may think of him as a laughingstock that is very true. We did.

And no movie that shows him sleeping on a plane or demonstrating doubt in his candidacy had any chance of changing that.

I mean the man is not smart enough to take off his shirt before ironing it.

And he wanted to run our country?


  1. We can’t allow tone-deaf idiots like this into positions of power, we simply can’t, it’s too dangerous.

  2. Anonymous12:22 PM

    Why are they trying to humanize him NOW? Is he going to run AGAIN? He'll LOSE! Plus, he has a wife that would not be a good First Lady. They don't begin to compare to President and First Lady Obama! No way, no how!

    1. Anonymous12:58 PM

      First Lady? Heck, Lady Horsey Rmoney isn't a good human being.

    2. Crystal Sage4:17 PM

      You people just don't get it! Mitt is as real as Santa Claus - and just as giving. Even his religion now admits that it's OK to be black and a Mormon. Get with it, America. You just missed out a golden opportunity to elect a One Percenter.

  3. Anonymous12:37 PM

    Of course he's thinking about running again. What else does someone do when they have more money than he and his entire family will ever need. His "job" is to become the president since he thinks he is entitled to the position.

    1. angela7:13 PM

      I think this is about a certain other Romney's future.
      Tagg. They are trying to clean everything up for the future.

    2. Anonymous7:39 PM

      Tagg for president? He has crazy eyes, no way he will be elected. They can always go for it, I guess.

  4. Olivia1:16 PM

    Nah, he had no intention of running our country. He was going to turn it over to the gang of thieves and take naps like Reagan did.

  5. Anonymous1:40 PM

    Oh, my goodness. Mitt, really?

  6. Maple1:40 PM

    I'm reading "Double Down" by Halperin/Heilemann. They do not paint a very flattering portrait of Mittens.

    1. I have the book too and I agree with your observation.

    2. Anonymous4:18 PM

      Unflattering?! It was Mittt's Turn! Just ask his public wife :)

  7. Anonymous1:43 PM

    The bitterness of Romney's wife at the end. Not a shred of graciousness in that woman. Wasn't this "film" made by the guy who did the really stupid "The Undefeated" about Sarah Palin?

    1. Anonymous2:48 PM

      Yes, they should have titled it "The Undefeated II" or "Lame Change".

      I'm guessing either this movie is to help sooth the butthurt of losing to Obama, or to set up the political career of one of the Romeny boys.

      I can't believe Mittens would try to run for president in 2016, but who knows? Both Mittens and Eggs have a pretty loose grip on reality.

  8. BabyRaptor1:44 PM

    Forgive me for sounding like I'm sympathizing with Mittens; I really don't mean to.

    But that gif looks painful. >.>

  9. Anonymous1:51 PM

    There's no crying in baseball and there's no crying politics. What a jerk! That's all that he knows how to do, run for office. What's he going to do now?

    1. He needs a job, he could go pump gas or work at Walmart for awhile.

  10. Anonymous1:52 PM

    Out of that clown parade on candidates, this was their best candidate???

  11. Anonymous1:59 PM

    Actually, that's pretty much what I thought of Mitt (and Queene Ann). What a bunch of whiners.

  12. If it takes a movie to "humanize" someone as hopeless as Mitt, the cause is lost long before all the grips and gaffers are hired.

    The American people voted decisively in 2008 and 2012, and I for one am Pollyanna the Glad Girl to have President Obama and Veep Biden doing what they do so well. Despite all efforts to block them of Bawling Boehner, Gooseberry-Eyed McConnell, and Bad-For-The-Jews-and-Other-Living-Creatures Cantor!

  13. And this one was the best of the republican bunch - USA just missed the biggest disaster waiting to happen - fortunately over 50% still have functioning brains

  14. Boscoe2:49 PM

    So it took seven years to come up with an hour's worth of footage of Mittens "looking human".

    1. Anonymous4:54 PM

      Or at least those moments with his public wife

  15. Anonymous2:52 PM

    mittens you incredible ninkompoof. when did you actually become a complete fuckin asshole? or were you born that way. Idiot Wind. Blowing every time you move your teeth.

  16. Boscoe2:56 PM

    We should give the producers ideas for sequences we'd like to see! Like:

    Ann's smug victory walk from the set of the "we had some lean weeks in the beginning where we had to survive on Mitt's stock portfolio" interview followed by her first taste of the unexpected reaction it got.

    Mitt in the makeup chair deciding how brown to go for his interview on Univision.

    Mitt testing out his hilarious "all the trees are just the right height" routine on the kids and staff.

    Mitt's reaction to learning there had been a camera in the room at the 47% speech.

    1. Anonymous4:14 PM

      I'm still laughing that Mitt forgot to dye his ears for the Univision interview.

    2. Boscoe4:56 PM

      I know, right? But... do you remember when $arah, refusing to be outdone, showed up on Fox the next day in blackface?

  17. I can't imagine releasing this film. It is such an embarrassment to the whole Romney family! They are such whiner.

  18. Boscoe3:21 PM

    I just had a LOL moment...

    I noticed in the trailer that it said "from the producer of the academy award winning UNDEFEATED"

    And I thought WTF!?! How did that piece of fantasy infomercial win an Oscar???

    SO I Googled it and found out it was the OTHER "Undefeated"... the one about the high school football team.

    D'OH! ROFL

    I wonder if the pee-people now think the $arahmentary won an Oscar?

  19. Anonymous3:42 PM

    OMG! I was laughing so hard when I read what you wrote and saw him ironing his shirt..."I mean the man is not smart enough to take off his shirt before ironing it."

    Thanks for the laughs!!!

  20. Beldar Willard Conehead4:01 PM

    Gryphen, how can you possibly critique a film you haven't seen???

    I, on the other hand, have seen the actual film which is officially called "One Thumb, No Fingers: The Story of Mittens" and it is AWESOME!!!

    First, of all, it HAS to be seen in IMAX 3D Suround Sound Smell-o-Rama-Vision. Yes, it's pricey at $99 per ticket, but like Mitt says in the movie "Hey, Loser, it's still under a hunnert bucks!"

    ********* Spoiler Alert **************
    Ok, first, the obvious: the CGI in Mittens will blow you away!!!! The dinosaurs in the Creation Museum scene are about 1000 times better than in Jurrasic Park. And the alien battle-bot sequence is more amazing than Independence Day, Predator vs Aliens, Part II, Rocky III and Halloween XII: The Endless Nightmare combined! The preview crowd I saw the film with went abso-fucking-lutely INSANE when Doc Brown pulls the Delorean into Mitty's car elevator and Mitt zooms in on the Hoverboard. CLASSIC!! Seriously, this film is an Oscar shoe-in.

    The only awkward moment was towards the end when the actor playing Mitt (a handsome, aging, dead ringer newcomer named Ritt Momney, btw) breaks the fourth wall (and a little bit of the second and third walls) and delivers a really whiny soliloquy about how candidate Mitt didnt want to win the "fricking election anyway, excuse my french!"

    I hope this is a lesson to you and your handful of librul blog buddies not to judge a book by the color of the trailer.


    1. Anonymous7:45 PM

      Good one!

  21. "...officially called "One Thumb, No Fingers: The Story of Mittens"

    that was hilarious! One must be very careful when ironing cuffs on shirts that are on the body!

    Beldar Willard Conehead, I love you! Happy Holidays!

    1. @colacarat
      "One must be very careful when ironing cuffs on shirts that are on the body!"

      That is awesome advice even for us 99%-ers (or 47%-ers?) and not just around this most joyous and holy season of Festivus! In a similar vein, and without going into all the embarrassing and painful details, I will simply tell you that Bedazzling the crotch of your dungarees while wearing them should be avoided at all cost, also, too! Happy and Merry to you.

  22. Anonymous6:01 PM

    Little Offended Annie
    Crying since Mitt got handed his fanny
    All those kids and nannies
    and still no first Lady title for Annie
    All that fancy underwear
    and still poor Mitt was stripped bare
    Of his Godly "right" and turn
    to be President he did get burned
    No Tiara for horseface Annie
    No crown for Aka Mitt
    The citizens of the USA
    told him where to put his shit

  23. Remember when Mitt went on the campaign trail overseas? Yeah, remember when he was over there saying dumb stuff to foreign dignitaries? Memories of Mitt, I tell ya...

  24. Anita Winecooler7:59 PM

    Humanize Mitt? That's a riot! Who's idea was THIS?

    Someone's car elevator doesn't reach the second level.

    Seeing that GIF, I now know why Mitt crossed his legs so quickly when being interviewed..... freshly ironed magic underwear HURTS!!!

  25. Anonymous1:39 AM

    This man actually makes my skin crawl ........starting with his religious beliefs.....


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