If you do something stupid that is on you. You cannot blame it on peer pressure, alcohol, or temporary insanity. Those are excuses, not reasons.
If you hurt somebody, who was not trying to hurt you first, then YOU are the problem.
And that means hurting them emotionally as well.
I taught my daughter to be responsible for her actions, and then I taught her to help others be responsible as well. She is the designated driver EVERY TIME her friends go out, she is the voice of reason when others are not thinking clearly, and she is the one that will drop a guy like a wet sack of shit if he inappropriately touches one her friends.
I've seen her do it. In fact I taught her to do it.
And when I taught boys, I taught them to respect women, that no means "hell no," and that a child is a shared responsibility, not just a responsibility for the one with the ovaries.
It is not hard to teach boys to be men, but it helps if you understand that being a man means protecting those who cannot protect themselves, putting the needs of others before your own, and controlling the worst parts of your nature.
If more men approached their job as parent with this in mind there would be far fewer rapists in the world.
Now if people would freaking stop encouraging boys to be the fighter on the playground, things could maybe change for the better globally. The day strength isn't equated with brute power and a boy crying isn't a sign of weakness will be a good day. This is when I think the world would benefit if some wellknown !A listers in hollywood who are closetly gay would come out and speak on behalf of ALL scared, closeted teen boys.
ReplyDeleteMaybe inner aggression in them would fall away. Would it really hurt?
Though people are free to do as they please. It isn't anyones job to tell a "secret" but the person her/himself.
What??? Are you Drunk?
DeleteNow if you would act like the way you want others to act, it'd be nice. Meaning, stop manipulating and lying.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 2:37 AM: WTF! did you mean your post to go on one of the Palin's "blogs" or ghostwritten facebook posts?
Delete@2:37 a.m.I'm thinking this would fall under protecting others from that manipulating, lying, skank momma of yours.
DeleteGryph, you may want to look into a restraining order. IMO This one sounds like she's about to boil your bunny!
Delete2:37 AM If you would go to sleep, you would not have to write your MANIPULATING Bullshit all night, Troll.
DeleteObviously you have no one else in your life and you troll the Blogs for companionship. It must SUCK to be so lonely and Full of Hate.
Still up Willow? Better lay of the meth.
DeleteYou are a good man Gryphen. As a mother of daughters, I wish there were more like you.
ReplyDeleteKUDOOS for your daughter, Jesse! And you as well. This definitely 100% accurate and I wish more people - male and female - understood this.
ReplyDeleteNow. How do we get this through the thick, STUPID skulls of the xtians who want women barefoot and pregnant?
Point out to them that the reason Muslim women in some countries wear burqas is because thy have accepted that all men are rapists incapable of self-control and WOMEN are so powerful they have to keep their awesomeness covered.
DeleteSorry, 5:41, that's as radical and crazy and stereotypical thinking as the current thinking Jesse's daughter is trying to dispel.
DeleteA very correct thought to start the morning (applause).
ReplyDeleteThat quote is 100% spot on and your daughter is right. It needs to be seen and read and absorbed by as many people as possible.
ReplyDeleteKudos to your daughter and kudos to you. Rock on!
Your daughter is a very wise young woman. We need more of her wisdom and less of the misinformation (by misinformation, I mean stupidity) we seem to get from young people on reality shows and social media.
ReplyDeleteWhat those teen boys did to that girl in Stuebenville was a crime and I'm glad at least two of them were made examples of. I truly hope that the other boys who escaped prosecution sweated it out for months and it gave them perspective. Just because girls like you for what you represent, doesn't mean they are just pieces of meat to be used, disrespected and thrown away.
ReplyDeleteRape doesn't have to be by a stranger in an alleyway or stairwell, it can be perpetrated by friends, family or acquaintances.
I want to tell victims, that their 'taker,' their rapist, was physical and emotional, but that doesn't make them powerful. Most often, they are sad, pathetic little men that don't deserve to own a piece of you emotionally for the rest of your life.
Teach those you can, that it's okay to speak out, even if the justice system might not be on your side.
Rape usually isn't. Children, grannies and men are raped. It isn't a crime of sex, but one of power.
DeleteIt's an unassailable viewpoint gryphen, a greater problem is how many fathers aren't even there. If the man isn't around to demonstrate equal responsibility with the woman he created children with, then sons have no role model on whom to fashion themselves, and daughters don't know what kind of devotion to seek when they're old enough to choose men themselves.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's liberal blasphemy these days, and with apologizes to single parents doing the job (really) the best they can, I still think the ideal is two parents who are there.
Except that two parents can be physically there, but so checked out. No, not talking about the drug addicts, but the chasing the money parents, who equate SUV's, TV/computer/smartphone in every room, who can be in the same LARGE house, but still not have a conversation with their kids for weeks.
DeleteRapists have always been around so those "Dad's" you are talking about have failed for thousands of years.
DeleteIf you think liberals cause rapists to be brought up I would suggest you talk to AZ Governor Jan Brewer since both her 2 sons are rapists.
DeleteMost single parents are "Christian" republicans in red states.
DeleteIs this where I mention that I was raised by a single mother and had no father at home?
DeletePersonal responsibility and self control are not gender specific. Both mothers and fathers can teach their children to be good human beings.
Thank you Gryphen. A very astute comment.
DeleteAgreed, Gryphen. There are married couples who "stay together for the kid's sakes" who are doing more physical and emotional damage than one single parent doing their best.
DeleteThe topics of Rape, Gender Roles, Families, Physical and Emotional Abuse may intersect, but there's much more to each topic on it's own that have less to do with sexuality and more to do with power and control.
Very wise words, G., and from your daughter too.
ReplyDeleteThese are the same people fearmongering about Sharia Law, and they are advocating that women should in effect wear burkhas to prevent themselves from being taped?
ReplyDeleteSince I was attacked when I was wearing mulluks, one of those long down maxi coats of the 70's( yup, I looked like a blue michelin man) I doubt a Burkah could have covered any more of me.
DeleteThanks Gryphen and thank your daughter too!
ReplyDeleteYou have so much to be proud of, What she's asked you to share over the years on this blog show that she's one lucky lady and was what my parent's generation called "raised right".
ReplyDeleteMy two daughters and one son all learned what this post conveys from a very early age.
There's nothing more difficult than being a parent and having to bite your tongue while your kids make their own mistakes, and even more difficult after they learn from it to not say "I told you so".
Doin' a great job there Dad!
ReplyDeleteI grew up in a matriarchal society, and was taught to respect women from as early as I can remember. Unlike some of my high school football teammates, and fraternity brothers in college, I was taught to be in control!
"That line of thinking presumes you are incapable of control."
Yes. And I was always at odds with these guys (still am) because, I honestly could not understand where they were coming from.