OMFG! I was quite literally laughing so hard I had tears the minute I saw the gesture for jacking off.
All of this time and I had no idea I even knew sign language.
And by the way, who even calls it "jerking off" these days?
That is so crude.
I personally prefer "petting the python of love." But that's just me.
A few more religious PSA's can be found here for your viewing pleasure.
But remember, not TOO much pleasure. After all you don't want to go blind.
“…you don't want to go blind.”
ReplyDelete“Can I just do it until I need glasses?” That’s the funniest thing my ex-husband ever said, but I suspect he stole it.
God, these people are so 1950s. They don’t embrace the 1960s because that era was too wild.
In China, it is the year of the monkey.
ReplyDeleteTo celebrate, spank yours today
This is crude, and did not come from the Jehovah's Witnesses or their organization.
ReplyDeleteJust an FYI, go ahead and carry on.
The Concern Troll is back, and it isn't even about $carah Payme. Hmmmm, think she stirs her honeypot?
DeleteActually masturbation is quite normal, not crude. AS for the video did they say anything that is not taught in their church? If so please point out what part was wring?
DeleteBTW as far as ASL it is using what is available unless you expect the signers to spell out masturbation all of the time or else you'll have to teach me some signs I haven't used in the close to 40 yrs I have been signing.
But again, please point out what is not with JW teachings, I'll be waiting.
Definitely JW. Check Watchtower sources. VIDEO made by and for JWs.
DeleteYes @ 8:39, masturbation is completely normal but as Gryph states this video is crude. If you want to know what the JW teachings are and what videos they have available you can go to JW.org, there is a section for ASL.
Delete@8:31 I can tell you hands down that Scarah and her ilk hate the Jehovah's Witnesses. They can not be bought or connived to worship her or any political figure. That means no money to her, her detestable older children and her fake husband. There is nothing more dangerous then a church that preaches politics from the pulpit.
De Nial isn't just a river in Egypt stupid. And if you don't know what that means look here:
Deletehttp://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/headshrinkers-guide-the-galaxy/201108/denial-its-not-just-river-in-egypt
Nope, it's made by the crazy JW's.
DeleteNext time these folks come knocking at my door I know what the topic of discussion will be...
DeleteJWs have their own crazy going on. They don't have room for any of Sarah Palin's crazy.
Delete"Petting the Python of Love". That would make a great name for a parody C&W song by a comedy group, someone in the vein of Corky & The Juice Pigs.
ReplyDeleteI wish they were still together; lots of material today.
Hmmm...religion or a normal sex life....I'll pick sex every time.
ReplyDeleteHysterical. This is a parody---right?
ReplyDeleteA bit O/T
Does anyone remember during the Clinton administration when Jocelyn Elders was made to resign as Surgeon General because she said masturbation was a normal sexual reaction? She'd also pissed everyone else off by saying drugs should be legalized. She also told an LGBT audience they should help save children from the unchristian religious right. Plus she said the Catholic church needed to get over their love affair with the fetus.
She needs to be given an award for her prescience.
She most definitely knew the future. And by the way Bill Clinton was a coward making her resign. Maybe if he'd used his hands for some self loving the GOP wouldn't be attacking his wife with his crap. Also, Newt Gingrich thought Clinton made the right decision. Which tells us everything we need to know about the subject.
Sharia law for the penis.But then people shouldn't really be so shocked that christianity and islam have so much in common, they are both crazy middle eastern cults.
ReplyDeleteI thought Sharia law was only for vaginas.
DeleteO/T: check this out written by an eighth grader in regards to the Cliven Bundy debacle. FoxGOP are you listening?
ReplyDeletePoliticians need to choose heroes wisely
http://www.greatfallstribune.com/article/20140512/LIFESTYLE/305120003/Politicians-need-choose-heroes-wisely
If they hired a pretty girl to make this video, I could jerk off while watching it!
ReplyDeleteI call it a hote date with Peter Palm and his five brothers.
ReplyDeleteTom Thumb and his Four sisters on Fist Street in Palm Beach. Tom's pretty handy in a squeeze when you most need him but can be a real jerk.
Deletelolololololol
DeleteIn the 60's I was in the 10th grade attending a private xtian school in the deep south where we had chapel every day. I listened to a young preacher who was describing the sex act and how wrong it was for people to fornicate before marriage. He went into detail about the lust, the kissing, the petting, flesh against flesh with desire, the intertwining of limbs, the desire, the sweat, the lasciviousness and sinfulness of the act. The preacher worked himself into a fervor, sweating & wiping his brow with his handkerchief and as his spat out his words so did his own spit while he was telling my virgin ears about all the nasty details and thumping his bible while quoting verses.
ReplyDeleteAs a teen (and still a virgin) I was absolutely shocked and will never forget how embarrassed I felt to watch this preacher's act on stage. Everyone around me acted like this was perfectly normal but deep inside I knew this wasn't right. In fact, this very sermon was burned into me as a huge wrong and greatly influenced me to leave "the church". Even at such a young age I instinctively knew that what they were teaching me at this school was just the wrong way to teach children. What HE did was lascivious....the way he described this sin was lascivious.
It's no surprise either that Sarah Palin spoke at at this school - Faulkner University. The very school I attended all my life and which drove me as an independent minded child to become more and more progressive in my beliefs. Yes, I became one of those rebellious preacher's kids and I survived!
He just worked himself up an erection while talking about sex and then probably went and fucked one of the church secretaries after.
DeleteDont. Stop. Dr Deeper! Don't. Stop. Dr. Deeper
DeleteDon't stop, Doctor! Deeper!
Anon 11:46 - That reminds me - he did have to end up having a quickie marriage to his college girlfriends because she was pregnant! Hypocrites at this "institution" taught me a lot!
DeleteBattling the Kraken.
ReplyDeleteTry this one, it's making me howl, however a big WARNING that you may lose your breakfast when they show Mitchy baby's jewels.
ReplyDeleteCannot Be Unseen: John Oliver’s Mock-Mitch McConnell ‘Old White Dick’ Commercial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIhxklwLDZc#t=29
lol gives new meaning to the old turtle head!
DeleteKind of reminds me of his face too! That was wild, wasn't it, but true!
DeleteThis fucking clown says don't hang out with people that jerk off. Yea right....no friends.
ReplyDeleteIf Creepy Chuck had "petted the python of love" instead of screwing Sally in the spring of 1963 the world would be a much better ce.
ReplyDeleteMany of the signs for sexual behavior look like what they're the signs for, and are pretty obvious to anyone. It makes trying to interpret health classes in middle and high school LOTS of fun. The deaf kids are pretty ho-hum about it but the hearing kids have their eyes GLUED to the interpreter.
ReplyDeleteWe solved that problem in my elementary school by spelling all the 'naughty' words since we knew the deaf kids would learn the signs in middle school anyway. That way we wouldn't get in trouble for the 6th graders teaching the kindergarten students naughty signs on the bus ride home. After the ruckus we caused by signing 'poop' and 'fart', we didn't want to even think about what would happen if we signed more graphic terms!
I also had to remind our former PE teacher to be careful when she taught the volleyball unit since the technique for setting the volleyball required a hand position that was quite similar to the sign for vagina (although upside down!).
That was the funniest four plus minutes! He looks like he's had a lot of practice, not once did he stop and read words on the palm of his hand!
ReplyDeleteOver indulging on ice cream is an act of desire also... now if only I could combine the two
ReplyDeleteBut....but...it wants me to!
ReplyDeleteHow about just until I need glasses?
Gryphen, someone is pulling your...ahem...leg. This can not be real. It can not. It just can not be real. Did you see the expression on the face of the Disgusted Jehovah???
ReplyDeleteI will be laughing at this allll day long...but it's not real. Can't be.
It seems to me the lesson in this video is that masturbation is okay as long as you feel guilty. These guys could be Catholics!
ReplyDelete