Saturday, June 28, 2014

The Top Ten Signs that you're a Fundamentalist Christian.

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours. 

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt. 

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God. 

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees! 

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky. 

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old. 

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving." 

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity. 

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God. 

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

(Source.)

8 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:56 AM

    Sarah and Bristol Palin's Christian heart?

    PHOENIX --- Attorney and blogger Bob Lord says he has never met Arizona Superintendent of Public Instruction John Huppenthal, but he was still able to expose him as the person making controversial comments on his blog.
    http://www.azfamily.com/news/Blogger-turns-sleuth-to-expose-Huppenthal-264860841.html

    http://latino.foxnews.com/latino/politics/2014/06/26/arizona-superintendent-apologizes-for-racist-posts-as-calls-for-his-resignation/

    Sarah Palin's home state's top school official, John Huppenthal, exposed, cries, apologizes but won't resign. How much does Palin care about the children of her state?
    "I say this as a mother – a bleeding-heart compassionate woman and mother. I say, how dare anyone turn a blind eye and further harden your horrid heart when you see these pictures snuck out of the innocent children’s holding pens – snuck out because our government is censoring images released." Sarah Palin June 13
    https://www.facebook.com/sarahpalin/posts/10152497467458588:0

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous4:06 AM

    I would argue that if anything, No. 10 would demonstrate that one is in fact an atheist, as it technically qualifies as the denial of gods outside of one's own religious persuasion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5:35 AM

      @ Anon 4:06

      Absence of belief in the existence of something -- unicorns, one-eyed ogres, or even sidehill gougers for example -- is not a "religious persuasion."

      Delete
  3. Anonymous5:42 AM

    Don't you just love it when science proved the universe and other planets, not to be outdone Christians thought up the Not Of This World bs all on their own even though the bible says noting about it. Talk about creating a parallel life out of necessity.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous6:35 AM

    Did I miss this in the list?

    Claiming the supremacy of males is theirs by divine right..

    ReplyDelete
  5. hedgewytch7:18 AM

    And that is why I left the Christian church as a teenager and never looked back. The stunning hypocrisy, and self-absorption, and greed, was not what Jesus taught. (Even if he may or may not existed, was a prophet or a God, was attributed to this man is worthy of note.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous8:00 AM

    That Moment A ‘Christian’ KKK Grand Wizard Is Told Jesus Wasn’t White (Video)

    http://freakoutnation.com/2014/06/28/that-moment-a-christian-kkk-grand-wizard-is-told-jesus-wasnt-white-video/

    ReplyDelete
  7. Amended #2: When something goes your way, it's doG answering your prayers and when it goes the other way, it's the work of Satan.

    ReplyDelete

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