Monday, July 20, 2015

Creationist Ken Ham knows why women suffer during childbirth. It's because you're all sinful little bitches that's why!

Ken Ham basking in the ignorance that his crappy beard covers his pock marked face.
So Ken Ham, who tells children that dinosaurs and people totally used to hang together, read about a lecture given by a certain Dr. Scott Simpson, who is a Professor in the Case Western Reserve School of Medicine’s Department of Anatomy.

According to Dr. Scott the reason it hurts like the dickens when women make little people is because:

“One reason is that we have evolved to walk upright and the human pelvis has tried to accommodate that. Also the human brain has grown, which makes for proportionately bigger heads and a more difficult time getting through the birth canal.”

That by the way is exactly what I was taught in my college biology class as well.  And it is supported by virtually everything that I have read since.

But clearly that is because I have been reading textbooks, and THAT, according to Ken Ham, is NOT where one finds the answer:

So bigger brains and upright walking—that’s why women supposedly have pain and difficulty in childbirth. And that answer is just totally wrong! In fact, anyone who can read the Bible can find out the true answer to that question. 

Because Eve took the fruit (being deceived by the devil), we are told what God did: 

To the woman He said: ‘I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children’ (Genesis 3:16) 

And God reminds us in Romans 8 that because of our sin in Adam, 

For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. (Romans 8:22) 

Evolved bigger brains are not the reason for why there is pain in childbirth—we could say it’s because of fallen brains!

So there you science loving smarty britches. Now you know the truth about painful childbirth according to the superstitious imaginings of an ancient people who believed that the sky was a body of water with the moon, stars, and sun trapped in it.

And that should be a lesson to you ladies that making men eat apples when they totally would never do that if you did not trick them with your feminine wiles, can lead to incredible pain and probably stretch marks as well.

So the next time you are screaming with pain because of a little parasite slithering out of your nether regions, remember that it is not because you are a highly evolved species at the top of the food chain, but rather because you are sinful will vixens that are wholly responsible for the fall of man.

Man Christian men have it made! Blaming all of societies ills on women and everything. I think I'm beginning to see the attraction.

(H/T to The Friendly Atheist.)

37 comments:

  1. Balzafiar6:19 AM

    Given that the fairy tales were written in a time when there weren't any good meds, one must consider that just might have been part of the pain equation.

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  2. Anonymous6:19 AM

    Jesus Christ, what an idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous6:42 AM

    Haha. We should kick him in the balls every time he says that

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6:58 AM

      I was just wondering what his explanation is for why it's so very painful for men when they're kicked in the balls.

      Let me get my steel-toed boots on.

      Proceed Hammbone.

      Delete
  4. Anonymous6:45 AM

    Yes, and we women suffer from penis envy too. LOL!

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  5. Anonymous6:52 AM

    Life would be better all round if babies were harder to put in than to get out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8:06 AM

      We have that ability, it's called birth control.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous3:25 PM

      Birth control does NOT make it harder, it makes it impossible. Not the same thing at all.

      Delete
  6. Anonymous7:03 AM

    I can't figure out how Xtians reconcile Thomas Aquinas' benevolent "esse ipsum subsistens", the sheer act of being, with this nasty bastard of a god who wants everyone to suffer for the mistake of one. Then again, Xtians don't consider Catholics to be Christian.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:16 AM

      Most xtians wouldn't know TA if he came up and bit them on the ass.

      Delete
  7. Individuals such as he make God seem silly.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous7:15 AM

    I think he's preparing us for when the GOP bans all pain meds from delivery rooms. Heck, they've banned most abortions, are working on getting rid of contraceptions, which means millions more pregnancies and births, and want to take away our vote. Can pain meds be next? Meanwhile, the guys get free Viagra, can rape at will and retain 'parenting rights,' and make millions of dollars spouting nonsense from a wooden ship with dinosaurs in it. America is gone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7:33 AM

      I think you may be on to something...

      Delete
    2. SallyinMI8:02 AM

      Sad, isn't it? I think what's sadder is these morons have always been lurking, but when we elected a fine, intelligent balk President, they all slithered out of their hidey-holes and started scaring the masses. Never mind that Jesus was dark-skinned and comes from the Middle East. Oh no. White men somehow co-opted the entire Bible for themselves. God is speaking to THEM and through THEM, and let no one say otherwise. Pitiful, if they weren't so dangerous.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous4:59 AM

      Epidurals can and often do slow the birth process down or cause it not to progress, leading to many c sections. But I dont think he has those reasons in mind. Yeah its hard and you win no medals, but women have had babies forever and it doesn't have to be so medical. I propose having kids in hospitals in case yhings go awry quickly but moms dont need to be anesthetized all the time.

      Delete
  9. Anonymous8:09 AM

    I've never understood how these so-called Christian men reconciled their hatred for women with the way Jesus treated the women in his life. In the Gospel he turned water into wine at the wedding because his mother asked him. He raised Lazarus from the dead when he saw Mary and Martha's grief. He accepted Mary Magdalen. It was women who stayed at the cross with Jesus when the men ran away. It was women who found the tomb empty. You;'d think they'd revere women.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:17 AM

      They're scared to death of women because we hold the power of life and death over their offspring.

      Delete
  10. Anonymous8:20 AM

    O/T, but maybe just abit: dont miss "First Peoples" on pbs.

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  11. Anonymous8:22 AM

    Kenny, you somehow look like you have a knack of imbibing a bit too much lately. Your proboscis is starting to look quite bulbous! also, too: do you cover your facial features with fur now, just to cover the likelyhood that you have 'wasting disease' aka maybe HIV or AIDS? You definitely start looking terrible.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous8:39 AM

    "It's because you're all sinful little bitches that's why!"
    ------------

    Guilty.

    Mildred :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous2:03 PM

      Never had kids.

      Never experienced the pain of childbirth.

      Must not be sinful enough.

      Must. Work. Harder.

      Delete
  13. The only man who could ever carry off the beard with no mustache look was Abraham Lincoln. And Amish gentlemen, I suppose.

    So I know based on his facial hair that Hamm is wrong regarding the pain of childbirth.

    My reasoning is at least as sound as basing the reason for childbirth pain on a verse from the Bible (Cherry Picker's edition).

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous9:26 AM

    God must hate women, periods with cramps for forty years, pregnancy and childbirth and even menopause. No walk in the park and God not only hates women, Republicans do too, unless they are Duggar types, barefoot, pregnant and dumb. I guess I am a bitch, I let my opinions be known and I don't care much for the Republican outlook, which truly does cast all women as evil. Remember the head of a men's rights group in Australia that says women are too uppity and he has a right to kill them for their uppity behavior and it is perfectly legal in Australia and Ireland to do so. What the hell? Can he bill killed for his attitudes? How women vote for Republicans is a mystery because they really are voting to be held down as second class citizens.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Boscoe9:31 AM

    I'm still waiting for someone to ask Ken "every word has be true otherwise any of it could be brought to question" Ham why he advocates for the forced sale of women to their rapists and publicly murdering disobedient children.

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  16. Anonymous10:08 AM

    He should thank his mother and his grandmother for putting up with all that pain in order to produce HIM.
    And, if he has a wife, be grateful that she endures the pain in order to give him children.
    God didn't make it painful on purpose: homo sapiens developed such large brains that it's harder to come into the world, and babies must be cared for during their first year, because they can't walk or talk. No pushing them out of the nest. That's what being human is all about, Mr. Greenjeans and Ham.

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  17. Anonymous10:37 AM

    What a perfect last name for a schmuck that is about as astute as a canned ham.

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  18. To be fair, Eve was deceived by Satan, and believed that by eating of the forbidden fruit, she would become "godlike", and would not need God to tell her what is good, and what is bad. On the other hand, Adam knew that by eating the fruit, he would not become "godlike". He knowingly, and willfully ate of the fruit. Adam is the real sinner. Funny how pastors seem to forget that part, and blame sin on women.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous12:19 PM

      There was no Eve, there was no Adam, the whole story is stolen from Egyptian mythology, the story of Isis and Osiris to be exact. There is no satan, there is no tooth fairy, there is no Santa Claus.

      Delete
  19. Well, then. All women should lead a holy and chaste life and NEVER HAVE SEX.

    Wonder how ol' Ken and the Quiverfull men would like them apples.

    Probably make rape a sacrament.

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  20. Anita Winecooler5:48 PM

    Does Ken Hamm have a biblical based explanation for those funny facial contortions men have when experiencing orgasm? I'm sure it's the woman's fault, gotta be. Hamm should have one child, with the equipment he was born with, then we'll talk. But until then, I doubt a kind and loving "God" would "punish" women for being able to carry and bring forth life.
    If one looks at almost all religions, this creation myth is a common thread. We have a man and a woman in a garden, and neither of them can figure out the medicinal properties of herbs and plants, with their superior brains and whatnot?

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  21. Anonymous6:07 PM

    I wish Mr. Ham a kidney stone the size of a bowling ball.

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes please! And he must deal with the pain by the use of prayer only. None of those sinful satanic drugs, not for this holy man.

      And I want it filmed and posted to youtube, hours of it. I'd watch every second.

      Delete
  22. Anonymous6:08 PM

    ANd since an illness must be "god's will" Mr. Ham in good conscience must take his punishment sans anesthesia or pain meds.

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  23. Anonymous9:24 PM

    So why do four-legged animals suffer pain when giving birth? What did they have to do with Eve's sin?

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  24. Anonymous12:24 AM

    God must be punishing English bulldogs and Boston terriers too. Those round heads make giving birth difficult. I wonder what their sin was?

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  25. Anonymous4:52 AM

    I also subscribe to the theory that over yhe course of evolution, gestation decreased from 10 or more months to 9 in order to be able to birth our brainfilled heads. Thonk about how much newborns sleep and how helpless- they ate still cooking! Lol.
    Childbirth is painful but not intolerable. I was in awe of what my body could do.

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  26. interesting interview: www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJ8ZqNQAhCM

    ReplyDelete

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