Wednesday, February 24, 2016

According to Rafael Cruz God chose his son Ted to be President of the United States. WTF God?

Courtesy of Mother Jones:  

Here's the story, according to Rafael Cruz: My son Ted and his family spent six months in prayer seeking God's will for this decision. But the day the final green light came on, the whole family was together. It was a Sunday. 

We were all at his church, First Baptist Church in Houston, including his senior staff. After the church service, we all gathered at the pastor's office. We were on our knees for two hours seeking God's will. At the end of that time, a word came through his wife, Heidi. And the word came, just saying, "Seek God's face, not God's hand." And I'll tell you, it was as if there was a cloud of the holy spirit filling that place. Some of us were weeping, and Ted just looked up and said, "Lord, here am I, use me. I surrender to you, whatever you want." And he felt that was a green light to move forward. 

That Rafael Cruz should cast his son's presidential campaign as a divinely inspired endeavor is not surprising. For years, he has been a freelancing evangelical who has promoted an extremely fundamentalist version of Christianity and decried those, including other Christians, who do not share his religious views. He has called for fundamentalist Christians to gain control of most aspects of American society, and he has issued a series of controversial statements blasting President Barack Obama, gay rights activists, and other spiritual enemies. As Mother Jones first reported, he called Obama an "outright Marxist" who "seeks to destroy all concept of God" and urged Americans to send him "back to Kenya." He said it was "appalling" to have a gay mayor in Houston and asserted that Satan was behind the Supreme Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage.

O-k-e-y d-o-k-e-y then. 

As you all well know I don't exactly believe in God. But if I did and I thought that he chose fucking Ted Cruz to be the Commander-in-Chief, I 'm pretty sure that would destroy my faith right there.

By the apparently God also chose these folks to run for President as well:

Scott Walker

John Kasich

Ben Carson

Rick Perry

Rick Santorum

and Mike Huckabee.

Let's also not forget that according to Sarah Palin he chose her to run for the VP spot as well.

Well it looks to me as if either all of these people have several screws loose, or God just likes fucking with people.

73 comments:

  1. Anonymous6:22 AM

    Man created god because he fears death.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, that's why men cheat on their wives.

      Delete
  2. Maple6:28 AM

    I think you forgot Michele Batshitcrazy Bachmann in that list.

    Isn't there a commandment that says Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain? Well, they all certainly did.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous6:30 AM

    Dear Ted,

    Those voices you are hearing inside your head are not coming from me. I suggest you wander the desert for forty years until you you see a burning bush and then maybe we can talk, than again..maybe not.

    PS. That goes for the rest of your fellow GOP candidates.

    Sincerely,

    God





    ReplyDelete
  4. 66gardeners6:31 AM

    "George Bush says God chose him to lead his nation"
    http://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/nov/02/usa.religion

    Bush said to James Robinson: 'I feel like God wants me to run for President. I can't explain it, but I sense my country is going to need me. Something is going to happen... I know it won't be easy on me or my family, but God wants me to do it.'

    ReplyDelete
  5. 66gardeners6:37 AM

    Republican shocker: God picked Obama in 2008and 2012

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8:24 AM

      Maybe Cruz has his own personal God, like the one who wrote to Sarah Palin that she was picked to be Vice President. That sure worked out. BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous9:05 AM

      From their porch anyone can see God will pick Hillary in 2016.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous10:04 AM

      AMEN

      Delete
  6. Anonymous6:42 AM

    Just as crazy things have happened to sarah. God writes letters to palin.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous6:43 AM

    I guess it pays to be on God's mailing list,huh,sarah?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7:55 AM

      Not so much anymore!! I would like to know if the elder Cruz has EVER paid taxes in this country, or has he always been a religious, non taxpaying freak?

      Delete
    2. Anonymous12:52 PM

      7:55AM
      Exactly what I've been wondering -- has Cruz Sr. ever paid taxes in the USA? It took him 48 years to decide to become a citizen of this country. Are we supposed to believe he was a taxpaying citizen?

      Delete
  8. Anonymous6:48 AM

    Ted Cruz will never b potus. That door gonna slam right in his face like it did to Sarah.
    Speaking of sarah, I do believe in Little cuz. She had details such as the sarapac before it even came out. She never claimed to live in Wasilla and I felt that she had to be somewhere away from wasilla. She had palins head spinning and some of the trolls posting were Bristol, I'm sure you could see that G?
    I do hope she can contact you...
    I never felt she was in AK b/c that would be too dangerous for her, I do hope she keeps commenting, its funny to see the palin trolls spinning and spitting and trying to figure out "who she is".
    Time will tell.
    Breaking, I guess Rubio will be out soon, heard a affair scandal just broke, he will be out next. LOL.
    Got to get rid of Trump and Cruz will be bumped b/c he is not born here.
    I would be more worried about Trump than Cruz. Cruz is obnoxious and unreal. Only the fundies like him. Trump is actually courting the "uneducated" he thanked them!?
    The uneducated, like Sarah and company... Bwhahahahahahahaa
    Fuck the Repubs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7:41 AM

      Maloe's doubters are not trolls nor Palins, 6:48. Deal with it. The funniest part of the whole maloe's thing was that obnoxious GinaM being proven wrong. Ha ha ha Gina, or should I say BWAHAHAHAHAHA?

      Delete
    2. Anonymous8:21 AM

      The funniest part of the whole maloe's thing is that 7:41 is still posting about it. Obsessed much?

      Delete
    3. Anonymous9:06 AM

      7:41
      you seem to be emotionally invested in this

      Delete
    4. Anonymous9:08 AM

      Poster 7:41 was remarking about maloe since poster 6:48 brought it up.

      Butthurt much, 8:21am?

      Delete
  9. Anonymous6:59 AM

    I'm usually skeptical of folks who claim to know God's will when it's associated with a beneficial outcome for them. Especially when it's about putting them in one of the most powerful, influential roles on earth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. God's will always seems to be aligned with people's desires.

      Delete
    2. If God's plan was for Ted Cruz to be president, then why wasn't he born in the U.S. instead of Canada?

      Delete
  10. Houstonian Cruz Hater7:02 AM

    News flash for Rafael St & Rafael Jr: I am not Christian, but I do believe in God. By your reasoning, God chose Barack Obama to come in and do as much as possible to repair the damage done by Dubya's reign. God not only allowed a gay mayor for my beloved city but chose a black mayor to succeed Mayor Parker. And finally, your crazy, evil First Baptist Church is a blight on this city, perhaps matched only by Lakewood (Joel Osteen) and Second Baptist with the sorry bastard, Ed Young. I have a strong suspicion God is going to decide in 2018 that one Senate term is enough for Teddy Boy and also too, that if the GOP bastards continue their obstruction, the next SCOTUS justice will be selected by our 45th President, Hillary Clinton.

    Now excuse me while I take God out for a potty break and some tennis ball retrieving. His actual name is Curtis, but I call him God from time to time. Oh BTW, he's a BLACK Lab so suck on that you worthless pieces of shit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Balzafiar7:37 AM

      The First Baptist Church in Dallas will give your First Baptist Church a run for the money in a contest to see which is the most evil.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous8:12 AM

      Or try the Baptist Temple in Anchorage. Political evil via Jerry Prevo.

      Delete
    3. Houstonian Cruz Hater8:57 AM

      Balzafiar, my sister & her hardcore Southern Baptist family go to Prestonwood Baptist. It's gotta be close to the top of the evil ones.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous4:00 PM

      I'll raise you John Hagee, & for good measure toss in Uncle Pat here in Virginia.

      Delete
  11. Anonymous7:02 AM

    I guess they haven't considered the possibility that God wanted Ted to run because He wants the Republicans to lose?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Olivia7:04 AM

    God is fucking with his head just like she did with all the others she told that to.
    I am sure it is an endless source of amusement for her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8:08 AM

      After two hours of their constant wacky prayers , God finally gave up and let them make up a weird message about His face and not His hand. God is busy with a lot of things, and Ted Cruz isn't one of them.

      Delete
  13. Anonymous7:07 AM

    God said seek my face, like do not lie and cheat to my face, Ted Cruz!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous7:09 AM

    Haha, poor Cruz; even with 'God's' endorsement the evangelicals seem to be favouring quasi-Christian Trump.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8:03 AM

      If God loves this guy so much, why did she make Ted SO ugly? He is repulsive.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous8:21 AM

      8;03 AM
      He inherited his spectacularly bad looks from papa.

      Delete
  15. Anonymous7:21 AM

    Well okey dokey, but God's gonna have to make up his mind 'cause he only gets one vote. That's if he's registered of course.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4:02 PM

      And has a valid, state-recognized voter ID. Otherwise, he's out of luck in a lot of states.

      Delete
  16. I wish God would make up Her mind.

    As I recall, She has endorsed:
    -- Sarah Palin
    -- Michele Bachmann
    -- George W. Bush
    -- Rick Santorum
    -- Mike Huckabee
    -- Ted Cruz
    -- Pat Robertson
    and probably several others whom I don't recall.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7:54 AM

      God help us!

      Delete
  17. Anonymous7:33 AM

    Ted and Raphael love the world too much, and God less.

    "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world." 1John 2:15-16 -- "Little children, it is the last time; and as ye have heard that anti-christ shall come, even now are there many antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time. They went out from us, but they were not of us, for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us; they they went out that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us." V. 18-19.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:10 AM

      From what I have seen, fundamentalists are not interested in the teachings of the Gospels. Wealth, power and price ledge are not promised there. Only the annoying business of humility and caring for others and the ain't got time for that!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous1:24 PM

      Privilege, not price ledge.

      Delete
  18. Anonymous7:37 AM

    If that's the case, then why is that epitome of Christianty pee pond voting Trump?

    Bat shit craziness.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous7:38 AM

    How does "seek God's face" mean "run for President"? No really - I speak English not batshit crazy Jesus freak. Is that a dog whistle?

    Imagine working on this campaign. You have to read the Bible in hotel lobbies with crazy old Rafael and pray on your knees for TWO HOURS??? Those staffers must be some real winners.

    God told me she hates that shit and she really hates Ted.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous9:20 AM

      It sort of reminds me of the voice with the confusing messages that kept coming from the cornfield in Field of Dreams. And is probably as legitimate.

      Cruz may have God on his side but Trump has those two Corinthians. Bet they're more fun.

      A Fan From Chicago

      Delete
  20. Anonymous7:40 AM

    Whenever I hear people claim they 'spent hours on our knees in prayer,' I call them liars. Raphael Senior is almost 77 years old..he's not spending hours on his knees. Oh, and here's what he said about Teddy's Senate run, " At the New Beginnings Church in Irving, Texas, in August 2012, Cruz delivered a sermon where he described his son's senatorial campaign as taking place within a context where Christian "kings" were anointed to preside over an "end-time transfer of wealth" from wicked people to the righteous. Cruz urged the congregation to "tithe mightily" to achieve that result." Sounds very accepting and loving, doesn't it--of himself and the riches Teddy will bring him form the wicked rest of us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Balzafiar10:30 AM

      "Wicked people" meaning the congregation and the "Righteous" being Cruz. Go figure.

      Just send 'em all your money. That's really all they want from you anyway.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10:46 AM

      I hope there's a video of that, in case he somehow beats Trump and Rubio!

      Delete
  21. Anonymous7:44 AM

    Ted, I have a family praying right now for their dying mother. I have people starving, losing their homes and lots of hungry children praying for my help right now and they are praying for others not just themselves like you are just so you can have power. Sorry you are not high on my list of priorities especially when you would like to cut the food stamps and medical care for said people.

    Stay away from lightning.

    God




    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8:22 AM

      Thanks be to you God

      Delete
  22. Have any of the candidates who have confidently strutted up to a microphone to tell us that "Gawd told me to run" ever, ever, when (inevitably) dropping out, told us that "Gawd told me I misunderstood and that he never thought I would be so stupid as to think He wanted an imbecile like like me to run for such an important position"?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous8:07 AM

    What a convenient god/religion. Their god supports anything they WANT to do. Even when they aren't eligible for the job. Tho I do like the ancient mythology stories from Greece/Rome/Scandanavia.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous8:16 AM

    THIS SHIT>
    http://www.politicususa.com/2016/02/24/archbishop-attacks-girl-scouts-incompatible-catholic-values.html

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous8:24 AM

    The god peeps are losing ground and a turn off more and more each day. They will eat each other alive and whatever Trump really is will help them.

    Exclusive: Inside The Donald Trump Sexual Assault Lawsuit
    http://www.mediaite.com/online/exclusive-inside-the-donald-trump-sexual-assault-lawsuit/

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh yeah, smart-ass papa Cruz, what about god answering my prayer that all candidates have an IQ over 60? What a dumbass thing to say out loud! During the Civil War both sides prayed to the same god but I guess the rebels just weren't praying hard or loud enough. The picture of Cruz and his family kneeling for two hours (no doubt speaking in tongues) in earnest prayer ought to scare the crap out of anyone.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous8:34 AM

    Wow. God really dropped the ball considering Rafael, I mean Ted, hasn't won anything except Iowa almost a month ago.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Conservative Christians will tell you that everything is God's Will. The death of a child because God needs another angel. Devastating disasters because God is punishing. Even running for office is God's Will. Sarah Palin said on the eve of election night 2008, that God "would do the right thing". They lost.
    Problem with their devotion to God is, they have been hating on Obama for 8 years, but according to them, wouldn't Obama's winning be God's Will, also, too? Hypocrites.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous1:55 PM

      "wouldn't Obama's winning be God's Will, also, too?"

      Patti, it says in the Bible in the Book of Endometriosis:
      "Everything good is God's Will. Everything bad is the work of Satan. That'll be 10% of your income, thank you, come again soon."

      Now do you understand why Obama's election was Satan's doing while Reagan's election was divine intervention by Jeebus hisself?

      (Hint: it has a lot to do with skin color...)

      Delete
  29. Anonymous8:49 AM

    So how does dog divvy up the delegates?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:55 AM

      He pees on their legs.

      Delete
  30. Anonymous9:13 AM

    freelancing evangelical
    -----------------------
    I wonder if that freelancing extends to paying his income taxes or does he take a religious exemption, because he sounds more like Satan.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonymous9:26 AM

    I think it's more like people like fucking with people, and using "God" as the reason/excuse/justification. I say this as a nonbeliever, not to defend "God," BTW.

    Kinda hard not to notice that "God" always tells people like the Cruz crazies what they want to hear even though when it totally conflicts with what "God" also told somebody else! That "God" -- he's such a joker! No, the joke is on the rest of us.

    That's why I no longer espouse the "I'm not religious but I can respect your religion" crap. I don't respect religion, period. It's all man[emphasis on man]-made crap.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anonymous10:43 AM

    I had no idea that the senior Cruz was a religious whack job...............guess that helps explain Ted's weird creepiness. Though to be honest, "ministers son" wasn't really the vibe that I was getting.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous11:00 AM

    Gawd is a piss poor general contractor and even worse as a financial planner or human resources director.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Anonymous11:44 AM

    Thanks, God. You prankster, you.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Anonymous11:47 AM

    Saw a splendid comment on another website to the effect: "Religion encourages people who aren't superior to anyone to feel superior to everyone."

    This would understandably account for nearly every Republican who stares at his/her nearly attractive visage in the mirror and implausibly imagines themselves president of the United States. God help us all.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Anonymous12:14 PM

    "a word came through his wife, Heidi."

    I'd love to hear Cruz interviewed about his prophetess wife, Heidi, and how 'getting a word from the Lord' works. And then they could show the 'Holy Ghost Enema' video of Rafael's associate, huckster Suzanne Hinn, wife of renowned huckster Bennie Hinn.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jhw_5ye8Qo

    The New Apostolic Reformation didn't get the media attention it deserved when Palin hit the national stage.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anonymous1:36 PM

    God hasn't really talked to any of these people, has he?
    If so,why does he choose to talk to the ugliest, dumbest, filthiest, hateful, moronic, narcissistic, disgusting,lying scum ? Does he not like good people?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Anonymous1:39 PM

    When Police Officers found Heidi Cruz on the side of the road and depressed, was she disappointed with God's word?

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous3:55 PM

    My favorite part of this story is that when he loses big time, he can blame it all on Heidi not hearing the Word of the Lord (tm) correctly. So it will be all her fault. As a true narcissist, NOTHING can ever be HIS fault.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Anita Winecooler4:16 PM

    I bet those were the words from Heidi, after hours of kneeling. Did they all go to Chic fil a afterwards to celebrate God's Chosen One? And all the pieces just fell into place, a word came from Heidi, the word of God himself, on a sunday, in a Baptist Church, with the entire family there!! Yep the hand of God is in everything. Pass the basket and give your best offering.
    Wait, why did God choose a woman to say the words? If God doesn't trust the Cruz men, why should anyone else? Raphiel boy, you just stepped in it big time.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Anonymous7:17 PM

    We are definately talking bout the good ship lolly-pop here... The Cruz machine is running down a steep launch shoot to nutball heaven. Glowing exhaust inhaled directly from the SUV in front.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Rather than answering the prayers of presidential candidates, couldn't God answer the prayers of women infected with the Zika virus thereby saving them a lifetime of hardship?

    ReplyDelete
  43. Anonymous9:39 PM

    Pretty sure that Dumbya also claimed to be following a suggestion from the Big Guy when he decided to run for the privilege of ruining everything. Thanks for nothing.

    ReplyDelete

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