Tuesday, May 31, 2016

The Emoji Bible is now a thing.

Courtesy of The Memo:  

A mysterious person, publicly known only as 😎 , has translated the Bible into emoji. You read that correctly: emoji. 

Launching on Apple iBooks this week, the move could be seen as a natural progression. 

Why read scripture in boring old Oxford English, or any of the other 531 bog-standard languages it comes in, when you can read it in jazzy picture symbols instead? 

Indeed, as we communicate more and more in emoji, perhaps it will become the universal language, the most accessible of all.

Okay well as someone who forced themselves to read the Bible cover to cover, I will simply say....it couldn't hurt. 

In my opinion the Bible is book of stories, anecdotes, and parables that often conflict with each other so aggressively that the entire experience seems a disjointed and jarring exercise designed to confuse the mind and impair logical thinking. 

In other words much like emojis.

Should sell quite well.


  1. SallyinMI3:00 AM

    Finally a version even Sarah Palin can read!

  2. Anonymous3:17 AM


  3. Anonymous3:26 AM

    Macho nacho man......LOL. git on up there short erect fingers and show yer stuff. Git up there on that stage buffoon and talk yer chit. And? Sorry G but The Bible is the Greatest book and story in the history of mankind. Someone must be awful shallow to not acknowledge the writings of our ancestors.

    1. Leland6:57 AM

      "Someone must be awful shallow to not acknowledge the writings of our ancestors."

      Why? It's not like it wasn't full of incest and murder and massive cruelty and misogyny and infanticide and genocide and mythology and....

  4. Leland3:28 AM

    Geez! Talk about giving the extreme fundies (like Ham) something else to scream about! I can hear the adjectives now: Demeaning. Trivializing. Just WRONG. ETC.

    Anybody want to bet there's an effort to ban it? Then burn what was printed?

  5. Anonymous3:42 AM

    It will be fun to see how the author translated the stories of Lot and his daughters in the cave and the story of Onan and many more.

  6. The infantilization of America is now complete. Baby pictures for baby thoughts. Hurray.

  7. Anonymous6:29 AM

    This is what happens after too many generations of homeschooling.


  8. Anita Winecooler3:56 PM

    The next step will be"Adult bible stories Coloring Books", they're the biggest thing since blank books, and a boon to people who can't read. Aren't Emojis supposed to be used in texts to replace emotions?


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