Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Female Texas Representative introduces bill that would fine men for masturbating.

Courtesy of the Dallas News:

If state Rep. Jessica Farrar has her way, men in Texas will pay a $100 fine for "unregulated masturbatory emissions" and undergo a digital rectal exam to get a vasectomy, a colonoscopy or a Viagra prescription. 

Farrar's proposed legislation, filed last week, calls on the Department of State Health Services to explain the rules in an illustrated booklet titled "A Man's Right to Know." 

Sound familiar? The Houston Democrat's bill is a satirical version of a Texas law passed in 2011 that requires women to have a sonogram and hear a detailed description of the fetus before getting an abortion. Those rules are outlined in a booklet produced by the state called "A Woman's Right to Know." 

"A lot of people find the bill funny," Farrar told the Houston Chronicle. "What's not funny are the obstacles that Texas women face every day, that were placed there by legislatures making it very difficult for them to access health care."

As a supporter of women's rights I am all in favor of this.

As a man however I am deeply disturbed by even the idea of this.

Which one would assume is the point.

Besides what do I care? You could not get me to visit Texas at gunpoint.


  1. Anonymous4:06 AM

    As with your past two posts, Gryph, if they're that stupid then we get to ridicule. More power to this bill even if it is a joke.

  2. Anonymous4:58 AM

    Nothing against real men G but them Texan men need a rectal exam with a wired brush. And we can extend it to most known republican men who have insulted millions of usa citizens and immigrants what ever fracking state that they call home today. Their party is exposed, repealed, replaced, resolved, resigned and now a cult of liars going to jail forever. Notice those that helped them today on tv attempting to save their professional ass but will not get away with it.

    1. Marthe7:57 AM

      A wired brush is a little harsh maybe...

      Let's see - 24 millions uninsured - complete dismantling of environmental, consumer and minority groups protections - alt-right policies ...

      Nah, on second thought, let's go with the wired brush. Well deserved.

    2. Anonymous2:10 PM

      Wire brush first lubed with Hot sauce?

  3. Anonymous5:58 AM

    What? You don't want to go to the awesome state of Dumbfuckistan?

  4. Anonymous6:14 AM

    I think that when the urge to masturbate strikes, there should be a mandatory 24-hour waiting period as well.

    1. Marthe7:36 AM

      "A 24-hour waiting period". Good one. Should be added to the bill. Let's see how many of these cowboys will break the law.

    2. Anonymous8:19 AM

      All masturbation ejaculations are to be honored with a burial. And I don't mean in a tissue.

      I'm going to open the first ejaculation crematorium and cemetery. Even if I just charge a buck a shot.....and think of how many little plots you could fit in an acre.

    3. Anonymous8:20 AM

      That's a good one!

  5. Digital rectal exam. How punitive I'd find that depends on whether the doctor looks like Bradley Cooper or Chris Christie.

  6. Anonymous8:20 AM

    For years I've thought that Viagra should be heavily taxed, if not banned. I'm sure the male legislators in Texas immediately shouted at their female colleague to keep legislation away from men's bodies. They will never understand the comparison she was trying to make.

  7. Anonymous10:49 AM


  8. Anonymous10:51 AM

    Put in a huge fine for raping too!!

  9. Anonymous2:00 PM

    Good GOlly where's Ms. Molly when you need her: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaUl6x1YXpg

  10. How do you enforce it?

    We already have laws about if they get caught in public. How do we monitor them in private? Have their wives and mothers report them?


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