Monday, December 25, 2017

Co-author of the book "Hacking ISIS: How to Destroy the Cyber Jihad" has a little redo of the poem “Twas the night before Christmas” to share. And it will make your day.

I won't ask you to read the entire thing in tweets.

Fortunately the folks at Raw Story have transcribed the entire thing for us.

Twas the night before Christmas, when through the White House 
Not a Kushner was resting, not even his spouse; 
The documents were hung by the shredder with care, 
In fears that Bob Mueller soon would be there; 

The staffers were nestled all snug in their beds, 
While visions of subpoenas danced in their heads; 
And Melania in her babushka, and Trump in his cap, 
Flew to Mar-a-Lago for a long winter’s nap, 

When on the TV there remained such a matter, 
There was Brennan, Podesta and man named Jim Clapper. 
With bribes fresh in hand, they flew like the flash, 
The greedy corporations did suck up the cash. 

The Congress rejoiced the records will show 
Feigned promises of riches to the peasants below, 
When, what to amazement FoxNews should appear, 
Took aim at Bob Mueller, with permission to smear, 

With disinfo flying, so rapid and thick, 
I knew in a moment it must be Bolshevik. 
More rapid than vultures his hackers they came, 
And they posted and trolled, as they sought to defame; 

“Now, Fancy! now, Cozy! now, Seaduke and BlackEnergy! 
On, Havex! on Sandworm! on, Skipper and CrouchingYeti! 
To the DNC server! Past the paper’s firewall! 
Now exfiltrate, exfiltrate, exfiltrate all!” 

Then the Kremlin called Julian, their reliable guy, 
To leak to the world, the docs that they plied, 
And the Stone who was named Roger bragged on it too, 
With the dirty tricks methods that Vladi knew. 

And they carried on lying that there was never the proof, 
They fogged and distracted and acted aloof. 
But their plan would unravel, spin wild to the ground, 
And the FBI went digging and looking all around. 

Then came the big man, he was Special Counsel to be, 
And he hired top lawyers, and then empaneled grand jury; 
There were interviews and hearings, this man would not slack, 
And he pressed forward justly, with a determined knack. 

His eyes were like eagles, they missed not a thing, 
His presence was heavy, his targets would sing! 
His sleuthing was famous, if you must know, 
And his integrity was solid, like the ground below; 

The facts that were surfaced he held tight in his teeth, 
And as he dug for truth morsels that were buried beneath; 
He was focused on the crooked, the wretched and smelly, 
They did shake full of fear as we watched on the tele. 

He questioned each of them from the son to the elf, 
And I rejoiced at the justice, then I thought to myself; 
Under orange little man with weird hair on his head, 
The great justice of America was certainly not dead, 

He did push and did pull but it just would not work, 
And did hit Twitter daily, to act like a jerk, 
And he threw little tizzy fits, like a toddler in chief, 
But we saw he was crooked, though no ordinary thief; 

Though it took time, and labor we could would no longer bristle, 
As we finally saw Congress call for his dismissal. 
And as justice was served, he was hauled out of sight, 
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!

You know, I think I kind of like it better than the original. 

7 comments:

  1. You know, I think I kind of like it better than the original.

    100% agreement. Flying reindeers? wtf?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous9:20 PM

      but reindeer are so cute! but the original is for kids, who don't need to know about dumpt's crap.

      Delete
    2. They do, sorta fly. There is a weed they eat that is hallucinogenic and they probably get a bit "high" on it. Who knows? Maybe they dream of flying.

      And all Santa's reindeer are female. They're the only ones that keep their antlers in the winter.

      Delete
  2. Anonymous1:58 PM

    That guy is quite talented.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous4:48 PM

    Hope someone has tweeted this to his grinchness donald,his family,staff,the cabinet and all the scroogy republicans in congress.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous9:18 PM

    this is so good. do you think anyone will show it to the orange toddler in chief? will he understand it?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous11:57 PM

    Definitely a more 'grownup' version, and I like it better than the kids version. However, I wish we would not have had occasion to have a poem like this...

    OTOH, now that Crooked Congress has gotten all they wanted for XMas, they will be able to finally get rid of the orange abomination either by impeachment or by some other means.

    Merry XMas to all, and to all a better New Year!

    ReplyDelete

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