Bill O'Reilly claims that he was fired from Fox News due a Left Wing conspiracy, not because he said and did icky things to the women folk.

Courtesy of TV Newser:  

Former Fox News colleagues Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck chatted this morning on Beck’s three-hour morning radio show. This was O’Reilly’s first interview since being forced out from Fox News on April 19 following the report earlier in the month that he and Fox News paid $13 million to five women who accused the star of harassment.

Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly together again, hos could this not be batshit crazy?

Despite some prodding from Beck, O’Reilly said he couldn’t get too specific “due to the legality.” 

“Look, the entire ordeal was a hit job, and in the weeks to come, we will be able to explain some of it. It really has to do with destroying voices that the far-left doesn’t like. That’s the general tone,” O’Reilly said. 

Beck then asked if he would eventually come back to explain more or if it would be explained in other venues. 

“Both. There’s going to be an exposition soon, but I can’t tell you when, about who exactly this crew is that terrorizes sponsors, threatens people behind the scenes, that pays people to say things. We’re going to name them, and it will be a big story. The left-wing media will downplay the story, but it’s coming. Unfortunately, I was target No. 1. It’s sad for me, for my family and it’s grossly dishonest. From now on when I’m attacked, I’ll take legal action,” he responded.

Yes there is all kinds of secret evidence that can't be shared because it's secret, and the Left Wing media will downplay it because they only report on facts and not secret evidence that can't be shared.

Stupid Left Wing media!

But here's a hint, it's all about George Soros: 

“I’ll point you to an article seldom seen this week, it’s about nine corporations that are now being targeted by organized left-wing groups funded by George Soros because they allegedly are profiting from President Trump’s immigration stance. That gives you your road map. Soros is putting up big money right now, and this is going to become an even bigger story in the next six months” said O’Reilly.

“Look, people were very sad when it happened. I felt bad not only for me and my staff, but for the viewers and listeners because they really had no idea what had happened. People know the left-wing media hates me and hates Fox News, but they don’t know the full extent of it…We are accumulating information and hopefully it will all be made clear soon.”

Yep, that damn George Soros and his Left Wing orgy partners totally paid all of those women to act offended when Bill O'Reilly suavely used his immense powers of seduction on them and honored them by masturbating during phone calls with them.

George Soros probably also paid O'Reilly's former wife to make these scurrilous claims.

Courtesy of Jezebel:

In the affidavit, which was signed and notarized on October 10, 2011, and later entered as an exhibit in the couple’s divorce proceedings, O’Reilly’s ex-wife Maureen McPhilmy O’Reilly described a sudden spasm of violence on a night in December 2009. 

According to McPhilmy’s account, she discovered O’Reilly engaging in phone sex in their bedroom at roughly 10:30 p.m. one evening. O’Reilly then “flew into a fit of rage” and slammed her into a nearby wall, leaving a hole one foot across. He then, the affidavit claims, wrapped his arms around her shoulders, neck, and hands to immobilize her, and violently dragged her out of the bedroom and down a hallway on the second floor of their 4,600-square-foot, $2.4 million home in Manhasset, New York. 

O’Reilly went on, the affidavit claims, to drag McPhilmy by the neck down a flight of stairs and through the kitchen, as McPhilmy screamed that he was hurting her. In the kitchen, the affidavit claims, a security guard assigned to protect O’Reilly and his family saw what was going on, at which point O’Reilly stopped the attack. When the guard asked her if she wanted to report the incident to the police, she declined, McPhilmy added. 

The guard was startled by O’Reilly’s appearance, McPhilmy wrote, because he was naked from the waist down while attacking her. 

Oh yeah, if it wasn't for those darn Left Wing kids and their Mystery Machine, O'Reilly would still be dragging his wife down the stairs by her neck and engaging in one sided phone sex with unsuspecting women.

Curse that George Soros. Curse him all to hell!

Hilarious letter from Capitol Hill staffer who has had enough!

The letter below is an actual e-mail (With some names changed to protect the guilty) sent by a Capitol Hill staffer right after they resigned.

Courtesy of Jezebel:  

Date: Fri, May 9, 2014 at 1:02 PM Subject: Not So Fond Farewell 

I walked out on my job on Capitol Hill yesterday , and I don't think anyone noticed yet. 

I've been in this business for almost 20 years, and I've put up with a lot of shit. I know that's not a surprise, but the shit I've endured is its own level of crazy. I've fucking had it. 

The Wuss 

My first internship was with a Member of Congress who was terrified of complaints. From a donor, a lobbyist, another member, aliens, his dog, whoever. A nasty call from a constituent, which is completely normal, could have him anxious for days if he knew about it. I watched him get all the way up to introducing a bill, and he got spooked because he thought someone would say the bill was a bad idea. Staff tried to convince him, but he couldn't be budged. 

I'm sure you're wondering how someone like this got elected. This guy's political party has held that seat since the 1940s so all he has to do is vote the party line. A block of moldy cheese could run for that spot, and as long as it has the proper party's affiliation on the ballot...blue cheese 2014! 

Putting the Country First 

A few years ago, the entire country was on the brink of a recession and financial meltdown. Congress was about to vote on TARP, but what was the pressing issue in my office? What did we have to have a staff meeting about ASAfuckingP? Appropriate shoe attire. An individual who was about to vote on one of the most historic pieces of legislation didn't have the courage to face his own staff to discuss his discomfort of heel height. 

The Candidate With the Goldfish Memory 

Several years ago, I moved my entire life across the country to work on a campaign that I thought was doing well. It wasn't until much later that I realized the candidate didn't know the difference between snot in his nose and the shit in his pants. 

This guy couldn't remember anybody's name, despite multiple reminders and working with us for almost a fucking year. While most people think that's normal for a politician, keep in mind that 15 people like me moved their lives across state lines to work 14 hour days for his semi-literate ass. And the pay was less than minimum wage. 

I take that back. He only remembered two names: Shane and Kelly. Shane and Kelly were my coworkers, and the candidate knew that. He just didn't know who they were. All the guys were called Shane and all the girls Kelly. Shane made a great point, "If this guy wins, someone is going to ask him who he wants to bring to DC with him. It'll just be me and Kelly!" 

Other shows of stupidity: calling people who didn't give him money and thanking them for their donation, wearing a Hawaiian shirt for official campaign photos, and announcing to the local school board that his kids looooooooved their private school. 

Thank god this guy never made it to Congress. The incumbent was just as batshit crazy as this guy was stupid. 

The Disappearing Congressional Staffer 

It doesn't matter what time or what day it is. There's a 50/50 chance this woman will be at work. And when she does show up, she enjoys a breezy 10:45 AM to 3:30 work day with at least an hour disappearance during lunch. She strategically picked the office that had the back exit so she'd make a show of coming in and then POOF! The first year at that job, I wasn't sure she existed. 

The rest of the office took bets on how often this woman would answer her phone or email. There was a 30% chance she responded to emails. Out of that response rate, 50% of them were one word responses. The other 50% were responses to questions, but if there were more than two questions in an email, she'd only answer the first two. Phone calls had a 5% answer rate. (We had a math major on staff.) 

How did this happen? Life is easy when your husband is the chair of the state's political party that endorses the boss. 

The Paranoid Campaign Manager 

The campaign manager never wanted any political position in writing. If you put something in writing, it can be misconstrued, misunderstood, used against the candidate, taken out of context, re-purposed, put on a billboard, or picked up by a spy drone. I don't know. But she was convinced that putting anything other than this guy's biography on paper would be a complete disaster. 

She also thought voters were stupid. "Someone asked for a position on greenhouse gas emissions? Who would ever ask about that? That guy's an outlier. No one else is going to care about issues like that. Talk him into donating or volunteering instead." 

The vote wasn't close. At all. Bonus: almost everyone skipped the "victory party" on Election Night. I found out later, the campaign manager kept saying, "We could still win it, guys! The absentee ballots haven't been tallied yet!" 

****** 

After nearly two decades of unpaid and underpaid work, student loans for two degrees, late nights, playing therapist/nanny, dealing with angry phone calls, and always being on call like a sleep-deprived Florence fucking Nightengale, I got tired of hearing "You're not dedicated enough" one last fucking time. 

Fuck you people.

Damn it kind of makes you wish they had not changed any of the names.

I would really like to know the identity of some of these people.

(P.S. By the way Jezebel is a great site to visit if you get the chance.)