According to Pat Robertson we all have the power to raise the dead, but we're simply not using it. Wait, what?

"Well he gave his disciples authority to heal the sick, to raise the dead. I mean that was part of our power. You see ladies and gentlemen God is almighty, he is A-L-MIGHTY, and he gives us that power and Jesus said 'you say to the mountain. you speak to the dead person.' He called on Lazarus. he said 'Lazarus come forth' and the dead man came up out of the ground. We have the same power. he's given it to us, it's in the holy spirit. But we need to be in touch with him. We need to behold him. We need to be submitted to him. That power's there we're just not using it."

Well this changes my afternoon plans completely.

Here I was planning to go to the movies with my daughter, but screw that!

There is a dead dog in the woods just off the road and by God I am going to go on over there and raise that puppy from the dead.  And then I am going to start my new life as a faith healer and zombie maker.

I can hardly wait!

Boy I wonder if I could raise Sarah Palin's career from the dead?

Nah, that is too miraculous even for God.

Have a Happy Easter. (You know, if you are into that kind of thing.)

So today is the day that commemorates the day thousands of years ago when somebody stole a body and everybody blamed God.

Now on such an auspicious day you might expect me to piss all over the holiday and start reciting facts and figure to disprove the story, or compare it to other religious resurrections stories, but I'm not going to.

Actually I have always quite liked Easter.

I like dying eggs, I like organizing Easter egg hunts, and I like chocolate bunnies.

Much like Christmas, once you remove all of the religious parts it is a pretty nice little holiday. (And of course much like Christmas, the best parts were stolen from the pagans.)

When I was a boy we always spent Easter at my grandmother's and she always had a nice ham, and treats for the kids. Plus, as an added benefit, since it was Easter everybody tried not to yell at us too much.

And earlier that morning my mother would have hidden our baskets and left clues written as a poem on little pieces of paper to guide us to their locations. (We used to love that!)

It was always a nice day to spend with the family, and I have nothing but great memories.

Even if Mom DID feel the need to dress us up like this.

Still worth it, got candy.