"This is The Department of Homeland Security. Look we can't keep you safe but we are going to send Spanky the clown to entertain you. Okay?"

Fire departments are using Homeland Security grants to buy gym equipment, sponsor puppet and clown shows, and turn first responders into fitness trainers.

The spending choices are allowable under the guidelines of the Assistance to Firefighters grant administered by the Homeland Security Department, which has awarded nearly 250 grants since February totaling more than $25 million out of the current spending pot of $545 million.

"Oh look at the funny clown! I feel safer already!"

How much is our National Debt?