Top Ten Reasons that John McCain regrets adding Sarah Palin to his Ticket.

Number 10) She brought focus back on McCain’s age and health because many less attentive voters thought she was his new nurse.

Number 9) Though Sarah Palin brought out the base; it also reminded Americans that the real Republican base is made up of under educated racists. As evidenced by their misspelled signs and inarticulate anti-Obama rants.

Number 8) Seeing all of the Palin brood milling around always angers McCain and he has to keep suppressing the urge to yell “Hey you kids! Get off of my stage!”

Number 7) She also re-energized the Democrats. Because as much as they dislike John McCain, they are flat terrified of his Moose hunting, Rapture believing, crazy assed Alaskan Barbie doll running mate!

Number 6) Sharing the stage with a bevy of younger women has done nothing to dispel the creepy old uncle vibe that John McCain continually sends out.

Number 5) McCain is pretty sure that Levi Johnston kid stole some of his Viagra.

Number 4) John still gets very angry every time his vice Presidential candidate moonlights on that Saturday night comedy show. Especially since that show has not been funny since Chevy left.

Number 3) EVERYBODY wants to talk about Sarah’s kicky new hairdo, but NOBODY seems to notice her grandfather standing next to her at the rallies.

Number 2) With her addition the campaign slogan was changed from “Change you can believe in” to “A Vice President you can masturbate to”.

Number 1) Before the Palin addition the worst enemy McCain had ever faced was the Vietnamese, but that was before John McCain was introduced to a group calling itself Alaskans for Truth.