Can't you just feel the excitement in the air at the thought of yet ANOTHER Sarah Palin biography that you can purchase as a gag gift for that feminist co-worker of yours, or the sister who belongs to PETA, or the English major in the family who finds Palin's over use of the words "also", "betcha". and "gotcha" comparative to fingernails being slowly scraped across a blackboard? Oh the gift giving possibilities are endless!
I know what you are thinking. Hasn't there already been a biography written about Caribou Barbie? Well, yes there has. But surely you did not think that Kaylene Johnson's opus "Sarah Palin: The Rise of a Political Star" could possibly satisfy the nations hunger to learn more about Governor Sarah did you?
Oh contraire mon fraire.
And what juicy little nuggets will this newest book provide for the rabid Republican Palin fetishists?
-- "I love a man in Carhartts!" (quotes Governor Palin.) (Nothing like the stiffest, roughest fabric on earth rubbing up a woman's face to get her motor running. Does Sarah have a touch of masochism in her?)
—Todd won Sarah's parents over when he taught her how to drive. ("Taught her how to drive"? Wow my opinion of Todd Palin just went up a few notches. Why didn't I think of that when I was young and trying to get teenage daughters away from their protective fathers and someplace where I could "teach them something".)
—August 29 has become a big day. Sarah and Todd got married on Aug. 29, 1988, it's Sen. John McCain's birthday, and McCain announced the name of his running mate on Aug. 29, 2008. (And August 29th, 2008 is when Alaska started to learn just how little they knew about their Governor. How is that for a coincidence?)
—Sarah and five of her buddies became so good at aerobics that they were named the "Elite Six" and performed as a group at the state fair in return for free parking and food. (Now let me get this straight. Young Sarah Palin exercised her body so that she could get greasy fatty Fair foods to put back into her body? You know I think I have just discovered the earliest known example of "Palin logic".)
—In 1993, while Sarah was commercial fishing with Todd, his and another boat bumped. Sarah's hand got caught between the rails, crushing some fingers. After a quick trip to the hospital, she was back out helping Todd the next day, not wanting to disappoint him. (That Todd Palin, what a class act. And I guess that question about masochism is all cleared up as well.)
But you know the sad thing is that this book will undoubtedly be a best seller. Hell if just the Team Sarah members alone buy this thing it will be in its second printing in no time!
(The book "Trailblazer: An Intimate Portrait of Sarah Palin" will be available on February 17th. Order yours now and beat the rush!)
Gryphen,
ReplyDeleteBeing an attentive observer during the last six months, I've come to a number of conclusions about Sarah Palin. The first three conclusions may really be just a subcategory of the last one, but they are notable enough that I thought they bore an individual listing.
The first of those is that Sarah Palin is not particularly bright.
I don't mean to say that she is completely stupid, for she does have a certain political cunning. However, she appears to be completely incurious, and has a demonstrated inability and/or unwillingness to expand her intellectual horizons. Sarah Palin is content with her parochial, myopic view of the world.
The second is that Sarah Palin is unable to simply be quiet while she is collecting what few thoughts she might have on any given subject.
My theory is that this behavior is the result of her early training as a pageant contestant. Fearing being scored down by the judges, contestants try to avoid big gaps of silence when responding to a question.
Whatever the root cause of this affliction, the result is that Sarah Palin strings a bunch of buzz words together so as not to leave a verbal void. When coupled with her desperate attempt to look "cute and sparkley" while doing this, her act is very cringe worthy.
The third, while closely paralleling the first two, is Sarah Palin's incognizance. She appears unable to pick up on the facial expressions or body language of those around her. She is unaware when she is the butt of a joke (Nicolas Sarkozy, anyone?), and, like a really bad karaoke singer, doesn't seem to understand that wincing is not a sign of appreciation for her oratory skills.
The fourth, and the most important conclusion, is that Sarah Palin demonstrates all of the following characteristics of a sociopathic personality:
• Glib and superficial
• Egocentric and grandiose
• Lack of remorse or guilt
• Lack of empathy
• Deceitful and manipulative
• Shallow emotions
Whatever future political aspirations Sarah Palin may have, I sincerely hope they they are derailed.
The sooner the better.
"August 29 has become a big day. Sarah and Todd got married on Aug. 29, 1988, it's Sen. John McCain's birthday, and McCain announced the name of his running mate on Aug. 29, 2008. (And August 29th, 2008 is when Alaska started to learn just how little they knew about their Governor. How is that for a coincidence?)"
ReplyDeleteThat's the day Palin announced it was her 20th anniversary. The NY Times did a quick review of court records, and said either Track was born 6 weeks early (very serious), or, if Palin was to be believed and her pregnancy went to full term, she was 6 weeks pregnant when she got married. The latter was true. Like her daughter, she was knocked up.
This proved her fairytale about eloping to spare her middleclass parents the expense of a wedding (when they are as wealthy as most Alaskans- and when she could have had a small, inexpensive wedding like many ordinary Americans) was a complete fabrication.
One lie after another.
SP is truly a heroic woman! She crushed her little fingers but carried on helping the dud...
ReplyDeleteDoes the author mention SP's epic journey from Texas to give birth in Alaska? Two long flights and a 2 hour stoppover, with leaking amniotic fluid, in labour/ not in labour (her own version is somewhat confusing), what a remarkable woman!
I was going to say this book is a work of fiction, but thought better: it's Sarah's life that's a total fabrication, which makes the book quite accurate...
Yeah, G., Palin has a certain RAT LIKE cunning!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure there will be lots of pictures in this new book about Sarah to satisfy those supporters of her who can't read. I mean, really, most of her supporters are the neck drooling, knuckle dragging types, who can't get enough of Sarah or Fox News!
ReplyDeleteIt just never ends with this woman....she's like a really bad soap opera. She's the classic tragic female central character who has all the bad cliche story lines that keep happening until she eventually gets killed off the show.
ReplyDeleteI think Sarah's story lines have now run out, and time to kick her off the show.
Is she a pathalogical liar? A report today (Palin interview for Esquire magazine) cites Palin saying Bristol was named for Bristol, CT (because it is home to ESPN) - MANY reports quote Palin saying Bristol was named for Bristol Bay in AK. She IS a blizzard of words, and she forgets her "stories" from one day to the next.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't buy the book even if I had more dollars than sense!
ReplyDeleteMaybe there will be a Hell ‘N Notes version version available at Margaret & Helen's.
honestly. such a waste of paper which would be better used for really important things...like toilet paper.
ReplyDeleteI like your commentary. You should let AKM know for some comic relief!
ReplyDeleteIs this the book she is getting 11K for? Or just another knockoff, like
ReplyDelete"Sarah palin takes on big oil" that some palin bot quoted chapter and verse to me once....
Anyway, that's some expensive TeePee!
The only thing it will be good for since it will be full of BS anyway...