Paired with professional partner Cheryl Burke - a two-time winner when dancing with singer Drew Lachey and football star Emmitt Smith - the former Texas Congressman known as "the Hammer" sits third from the bottom on the judges' scorecards after one night of competition, the season premiere.
DeLay and Burke danced a cha-cha-cha to open the competition, performing to the Troggs' 1965 hit "Wild Thing."
The judges were left shocked by DeLay's hip-shaking moves - Tonioli proclaimed, "You're crazier than Sarah Palin!" - but were less-than-impressed with the actual dancing.
I can't imagine who would want to watch this old fart stumble around the dance floor.
If you wanted to see an out of shape middle aged man trying to shake his groove thing, you could witness that by simply going to any wedding reception in the country and waiting for Uncle Phil to slam back a couple of glasses of champagne before waddling out onto the dance floor to make a fool of himself before losing his balance and falling into the wedding cake.
Haven't we seen that a hundred times on America's Funniest Home videos?
But the thing about this article that caught my eye is that this Bruno Tonioli guy, a British choreographer/TV Personality, has decided that the barometer for crazy is our own Caribou Barbie. Has this gone international? Does EVERYBODY use the Sarah Palin bar to determine levels of insanity?
Oh sure we use it in Alaska, but hell we saw it first hand as she delivered batshit crazy speech, after batshit crazy speech, and then went home to eat Taco Bell Crunchwraps and watch wedding programs as our state slipped into disrepair. We KNOW Sarah Palin crazy when we see it.
But I had no idea that the entire world was going to use our Twitter Quitter as a measuring tool. I mean don't they have to pay us some user fee or something?
After all, if WE hadn't voted her in as Governor you all would never even have known about her. Shouldn't that be worth a couple of pennies per use at least? I may have to talk to a lawyer.
And by the way, speaking of crazy, if you are spending your Monday evenings watching a disgraced Republican Ex-Congressman stumbling around the dance floor while groping some poor young dancer desperately trying to resist vomiting all over him, you may be due for a "checkup from the neck up" yourself.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
You are a very funny writer! Indeed, she is a national humiliation. And does she know that? Do these politicians who implode realize how embarrassing they are? Do they read?
ReplyDeleteI am about to attend a meeting regarding the newly proposal national learning standards (Common Core) and discovered that 48 out of our 50 states have agreed to participate in this initiative. Guess which two states say they don't need no stinkin' educational standards?
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you write something meaningful regarding Tom Delay, such as the trial of former Abramoff cronie Kevin Ring.
ReplyDeleteWait, I'll bet you've never even heard of Kevin Ring, have you ?
What a bunch of tripe.
http://www.omggopwtf.com?rc=mailto
ReplyDeleteGryphen, do you know about this site?
Ok Gryphen, if I hit your PayPal button today, you gotta know it is because this post is so wonderfully entertaining, and I do want to pay Alaskans for our use of Caribou Barbie as the barometer of CRAZY!
ReplyDeleteGryphen,
ReplyDeleteYou seem to know everything, but just in case, check this out:http://www.truemajority.org/
Hilarious, definitely scores a 10 for rainy day humor here in the beautiful rain forest of southeast Alaska.
ReplyDeleteI will be forever thankful for those who did not intervene on Winky and get the hook out sooner....she sure did build her own Palin "brand" of crazy!
I wonder if this is the type of publicity Winky was counting on in building her political platform. The Chinese speaking engagement is probably a gamble by someone to jump start her new career. I'm interested in seeing how many American companies are going to pay for her wisdom and sign her up for key speaking engagements.
I remain hopeful that the rest of the world will catch onto the joke that is Palin and I want to send a special Aloha / Camai out to Bruno Tonioli!
Alaskan Sisu
Alaskan Sisu
I caught Bruno's comment last night! It almost neutralized the nausea induced by Tom Delay.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit I'm suffering from a lot of angst over this situation. DWTS has always been a big ray of sunshine in my television viewing schedule. And when I heard the bugman was going to be a contestant this season my first reaction was that they are trying to ruin my favorite program. I even considered boycotting the whole thing.
But I refuse to let that creep ruin my show. So I'm watching. I would hope that he would be voted off quickly, but I fear that his fanbase will keep him alive for a while.
In the meantime I plan on simply ignoring him as much as possible and doubling up on my attention to Maks. And a refreshing beverage on hand.
Doesn't matter all that much what the three judges give Delay for marks; what really matters is what the audience give him. Here's a disgraced ex-Republican politician who the people are going to see as just that. If he's soundly trounced by the viewers then that will say a lot about the political climate but if he's not then that will say a lot too.
ReplyDeleteAnd all that depends entirely on whether or not the whole thing is fixed. When that slutty bitch Marie Osmond went so far that it was obvious that some large factor of support was coming to her rescue is when I knew there was a good possibility of a fix. So consider the possibility of Delay being put into this thing by the producers of the show who support the rightwing nuts and watch out if he ends up going to almost the end as the Osmond religious fanatic did.
Keep tuned with this thing Gryphen, it's going to be a barometer of the political atmosphere of your rotten political system.
Sarah Q.
Gryphen,
ReplyDeleteSince the Bitter Quitter has now gone to RED China...she will definitely have to have an ' International scale' to measure by. It's just like going into your bathroom to weigh yourself. Before you hop on... make an adjustment. Set the scale to ZERO. Bitter Quitter is a complete ZERO. Now... hop on... weigh yourself.... and take it easy on the ' Crunchwrap Supremes ' The scale says ' have a salad ' as well occasionally. Eat up... Enjoy.
Meanwhile, Lisa Murkowski has turned herself into a pretzel!
ReplyDeletehttp://climateprogress.org/2009/09/22/murkowski-calls-for-tough-senate-climate-bill-climate-legislation-must-have-more-immediate-environmental-benefits-than-waxman-markey/#more-11645
lol...maybe its the mood I am in, but this is one of your funniest posts to date Grypen.
ReplyDeleteI have no inclination to watch said dancer..Tom Delay, but have to tell you, that where I live (small town Canada) people know Sarah Palin is crazy. She was the talk of the town for a long time, and not in a good way. We even have our share of red necks who despise her.
No one's crazier than Sarah Palin. They just have different 'strains' of craziness.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that DeLay isn't in JAIL instead of on TV just makes me sick.
ReplyDeleteI am no fan of Sarah Palin, but I don't think that she is the craziest person in the world. For pure bat-sh*t crazy number one is Orly Taitz, followed closed by number two Michele Bachmann. Then, I'll rank Sarah Palin number three.
ReplyDeleteWhy is Michele ahead of Sarah? Because Michele actaully knows what she says is nuts, but she likes the attention, sort of modelled after Ann Couleter (who we haven't seeen lately, thank goodness). Sarah says those dumb things seriously, not realizing that she is saying something stupid.
No, I didn't watch that show. MSNBC has shown some clips of two couples dancing. Guess they were comparing his style, I wasn't paying attention. I do admire folks who dance, I think ballroom dancing would be run. I'm not able, but I don't want to watch, either. That's no fun.
ReplyDeleteThere was enough crazy already; didn't need any more.
The two ex-beauty queens turned out to be sore losers; both went rogue when God said no!
I blame McCain, not the people in Alaska. He gave her a stage that she never would have had. I believe that she would have imploded anyway. She would have left a trail of detritus in Alaska (a very bad thing of course) but the rest of the world would have been spared.
ReplyDeleteYech! That picture of dancing Tom Delay reminds me of the original Japanese version of the movie 'Shall we dansu?'(1996).
ReplyDeleteIn case you have not seen the original version, I do not want to give away the plot, but the character in question is Mr. Aoki...
The British are famous for their eccentrics - they know crazy when they see it!
ReplyDeleteLOL, at least I can honestly say I don't watch the dancin show. I did catch a glimpse of the clip on MSNBC this afternoon, and laughed while I was dusting furniture!
ReplyDeleteAnd, like Just_a_Mote said: I blame McCain, not the good folks in Alaska!
~trish
And I must add - A standardized "Sarah Palin International Standard Of Crazy" Barometer is just something that needs to be done! Gryphen, we need a visual on this - A silly Sneuty Queen cut out with a scale running up the middle of her body. Blago, Bachmann,and Taitz and pretty much any leader from certainly all hold a place on it, and pretty much any politician from N or S Carolina...
ReplyDeleteFunny funny post and I laughed reading Brunos comment this. It was a very interesting comment!!
ReplyDeleteSarah is really not getting any press about this speech. Maybe on Fox (I wouldn't know), but not anywhere else. So what is the point of her Chinese talk. Really money seems the best benefit. Talking to a bunch of businessmen without any reasonable critique by objective 3rd parties does NOT improve her foreign policy credentials.
Here in New York I know people wait in line to get a copy of the Daily News to read Eliot Olshansky's next likely Pulitzer piece.
ReplyDeleteI still remember where I was when Olshansky broke the story michael Jackson's best new friend was a chimp name d Bubbles.
For what's it's worth, in these parts one litmus test for crazy is someone from Alaska citing Olshansky on anything--with the possible exception of Area 13.
I wish DWTS would have had Levi and Sarah on the show. It would have been a great venue to watch Sarah trying to compete with those young gals with "real tight abs and firm butts." It would have been great to see if Levi could have lasted longer on the show that the winky blinky quitter.
ReplyDeleteI don't watch Dancing With The Has-Beens, so thanks for the heads up about DeLay's performance.
ReplyDeleteEven in Texas, some of us are aware that Palin is eight kinds of crazy.