Saturday, July 10, 2010

Caption contest inspired by the many expressions of Sarah from her last interview with Bill O'Reilly.

Number one

"Well look who thinks he is important enough to take on Sarah Palin!  Perhaps I should rip HIS scrotum off and put it in my Prada handbag right next to Todd and Levi's?"

Number Two
"Now just where did I leave that little retarded baby?  Is he still in that backpack from when I was mowing the lawn?"

Number Three

"You know Bill O'Reilly a census taker once tried to test me like this. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti."

Okay that is my contribution.  What have YOU got?

Oh and don't forget to add the number of the picture so I know where they go.


  1. Anonymous10:35 AM

    Holy smoly, what happened to her lips?

  2. Anonymous10:40 AM

    Number Three...Don't make me fence you in, Bill.

  3. Anonymous10:42 AM

    These pictures are fantastic. So many captions, so little time.

    Top picture: I will not sit down and shut up. I am already sitting down.

    Middle picture: This botox is killing me. I think that I swallowed my lip.

    Bottom picture: So help me, Bill, one of these days, pow, one right in the kisser.

    Bottom picture, alternate caption:
    I' sending Todd there to beat you up.

  4. okay, I'll take #3...
    Quittypants utters under her breathless breath, without moving her botoxed lips, " do NOT ask the Queen questions without giving her the answers."

    (She furiously scrawls a quick message to Murdoch on her 'poor man's teleprompter) "Fire Billo...he's asking me questions, and you know that's not in my contract."

  5. emrysa10:51 AM

    bwaahaaha luv the pics gryphen.

    #3: "how DARE someone ask me to state a clear position on an issue!"

  6. angela10:56 AM

    "Listen up O'Reilly, my kid glued on this damned hair for me--for what? You aren't even, also, following the script they sent me this morning."

    #2 This is my sincere look that I'm going to get rid of time the feed is over--then I'm gonna go kick Levi again.

    #3 I may be completely clueless about policy or anything else but stupid never got in my way before.

  7. Very funny Gryph!

    For #1: "This is my sad, pouty face! It always worked for my daddy (when I was four years old), and I expect it to work on YOU, Bill, also, too, so there! Don't make me stick my tongue out at you!"

  8. Anonymous11:01 AM

    Oh no! My pout in picture #1 shows some wrinkles! We can't have that, now can we? When I get my next round of botox, I'll look like this.

  9. Anonymous11:01 AM

    "no no no no,, i won't answer any questions, i only want to repeat old crap. and gush about mama grizzlies."

    bill in belize

  10. She looks like she's tonguing her gums, like she left her dentures on the nightstand in a glass.

    "I can't snarl without my choppers, darn it!"

  11. i'll play.

    #1) "If he keeps this up, I'm gonna need more botox. And a crunchwrap."

    #2) "Does he really think he can play these games with me? I'll take him down like I took down that liberal elitist Katie Couric!"

    #3) "Palinbots, ATTACK!"

  12. Sara isn't as soft and pretty as she once was.No amount of make up and face lifts can soften her face any more.
    When Sarah first spoke to the RNC she was kinda funny because she was softer and when she said mean things it wasn't so bad but now she is getting kind of frightening with that tense mouth and scrunched up eyes.All those men that loved her because she was strong and sexy will now fear her.When you only use your looks to manipulate others it kind of gets creepy.The way she dresses and wears her hair might not look so cute in a few years !
    kin of like The Picture of Dorian Gray.She sold her soul to

  13. Number one: Why is he asking me hard questions? I am telling Sean Hannity and Beck. Billo can't play with us anymore. waaaaaaaaa

    Number two: Hm whats that in my mouth? Oh ok a crunchy taco supreme.

    Number three: Billo back off. You did see my dead grizzly bear on my couch didn't you?

  14. Sara isn't as soft and pretty as she once was.No amount of make up and face lifts can soften her face any more.
    When Sarah first spoke to the RNC she was kinda funny because she was softer and when she said mean things it wasn't so bad but now she is getting kind of frightening with that tense mouth and scrunched up eyes.All those men that loved her because she was strong and sexy will now fear her.When you only use your looks to manipulate others it kind of gets creepy.The way she dresses and wears her hair might not look so cute in a few years !
    kin of like The Picture of Dorian Gray.She sold her soul to

  15. womanwithsardinecan11:46 AM

    Maybe she should get her lip line tattooed again since she gets that thin annoyed lip look when somebody actually expects answers. I've got to use one of those pictures the next time I go to a protest. Her personality comes right through, with the narrowed eyes, thinned lips, frowns and smirks. Hey Sarah! As our moms always said, your face is going to stick that way. Butterface Butterboob.

  16. Anonymous11:48 AM

    She thinks her expressions connotes a seriousness important in a leader without a title.

    These grimaces and silly faces only make her as unattractive as her hackneyed keyword platform.

    There Sarah goes again, perhaps, wearing her emotions too much, also on her sleeve again (a la Couric interview.)

    Her mugging for the camera has more personality than her personality.

  17. womanwithsardinecan11:51 AM

    Okay, for picture number two, in honor of the great and funny Joan Rivers: "Am I smiling? I can't feel my face."

  18. wakeUpAmerica11:51 AM

    Can't top those.

  19. All of the photos captions are great! I just have one to add that pertains to all of them; "if you keep making that face, your face will freeze like that". (remember our parents admonishing us with that threat whenever we made and "ugly face"?)

    Silly Sarah, Bill O did bend her over and spank her hard! I don't agree with him all of the time but hey, he has the balls to show up and talk to Jon Stewart! Bill knows that most of what he does is merely for entertainment value and he is a very smart man. I think Sarah's stupidity probably offends him in the worst possible manner as he is educated and knows of what he speaks whether we agree or not. Sarah on the other hand is just another "Fox bird in a skirt"; more suitable as a talking head rather than a political figure.

    He'd loofah her in the shower in a heartbeat, but I bet he'd duck tape her mouth shut while he did it :-)

  20. Anonymous11:52 AM

    Gryphen, she wouldn't eat much less know what fava beans and chianti is. Too elite.

    She'd pull out her over the top Alaskanness with a wild Alaskan dandelion salad with salmonberry vinaigrette and Labrador Iced Tea with frost heaved fireweed honey for her thirsty hungry brood.

  21. Anonymous11:54 AM

    #1) Of course my children get a free pass for bad behaviour ! They can vandalize school buses, get pregnant, trash homes, miss countless school days - any ol' time they want. They most certainly do get a free pass !

    #2) You betcha I'm a SOW - a Mamma Grizzly. I'm also a Braying A$$, a Chicken Little AND I stink to high heaven too, just like a skunk.

    #3) Now remember Bill . . next time I'm on your show, I want you to grill me about my escapades at Sheep Creek Lodge.

  22. womanwithsardinecan11:56 AM

    For picture number three: "Bill, since you've decided to channel Katie "the bitch" Couric, I'm warming up my bus."

  23. FEDUP!!!11:58 AM

    Love your captions so far!

    #3: "I told you once, and I will NOT tell you again: I KNOW how to deal with everything! Now, give me my crunchwrap!"

  24. Anonymous11:58 AM

    Photo 1: Really, Todd. Don't beg. It's not becoming for a former First Dude. You know I have more important things to do.

  25. FEDUP!!!12:00 PM

    BTW: No wedding ring again... Still at the deepest point in that lake?

  26. Anonymous12:00 PM

    Photo 2: Just keep it up Billie Boy. First thing I do after being sworn in, is have the IRS pay you a little visit.

  27. Anonymous12:02 PM

    Love your captions! My favorite is No. 1 - the stuffed Prada bag.

  28. Anonymous12:02 PM

    Photo 2: Let me see . . . do I have Murdoch's number on speed dial? Bill-o, you days are numbered.

  29. I'm laughing too hard to come up with captions. Yours are delicious!

  30. Anonymous12:17 PM

    Don't like your nic though.

  31. Anonymous12:22 PM

    #3. "No gotdammit. I said I will not answer any questions. Only repeat bullshit.
    Oh, and gush about Mama Grizzlies. (wink)

    bill in belize

  32. Virginia Voter12:38 PM

    What you saw here was another "epic fail" (as my tweens would say)by Sarah Palin in her attempt to look and sound presidential, but instead winds up looking like the bipolar schizophrenic she really is.

    Sarah's "mama grizzly" was an attempt to brand her image to the greater population, in all her glory...the Hogwarts coat, excessive jewelry, and granny hair, and it just doesn't work. It will never work.

    Sarah is just as retarded as she was two years ago, despite all the money, fame, and gobs of paid "consultants". And yes, I use the word retarded, because she is mentally, intellectually, and emotionally stuck at the level of a middle schooler.Her family is still white Valley trash, her kids still delinquents.Sarah is the mama grizzly who literally has abandoned her cubs...she abandoned her own children, and her constituents in Alaska when she quit her job in search of fame and fortune.

    Pundits aside, you saw what happened the last time Sarah Palin ran for anything. I predict the same will happen...all the corporate oil money in the world will not get this idiot elected dogcatcher. She can thank GW Bush and BP for that.

  33. Anonymous12:48 PM

    Gryph, I don't like #1 comment's nic. Is it just me?

  34. Anonymous12:48 PM

    #1 What do you mean, don't interrupt you? Listen, Bill, you don't interrupt me!

    #2 The winning comment for this photo was already posted, quoting Joan Rivers, "I can't feel my face." Can't improve on that one.

    #3 I said, don't interrupt me, Bill, whose damn program is this anyway?

  35. Anonymous12:50 PM

    everyone says she was softer before. if you look at the pics on alaskastock, those show her looking her age, minus caked on makeup. a good makeup artist could still make her look soft. her look changes between appearances, depending on makeup

  36. #1

    "Criminitly this bumpit on TIGHT today! I can't feel my eyebrows. Wait. Are you supposed to feel your eyebrows?"


    "No, really, can't feel my brows. What about my lips? Oh good, phew, there they are!! Where am I?"


    "You are under my spell Bill O'Biden. You are under my spe....what? Hang on, I didn't get to wink yet!!!"

  37. #1

    "There's no "I" in smirk. Oh, wait...."


    "Botox schmotox. These lips are painted on!"

    "Note to palm: get lighter bumpit for next interview. Can't hold up head for much longer."

  38. Anonymous1:07 PM

    LOL Anon @ 12:50

    Palin's Makeup Artist Wins Emmy

    Remember during the final stretch of the 2008 presidential campaign, when FEC disclosure filings revealed the somewhat embarrassing news that Sarah Palin's highest-paid staffer was...her traveling makeup artist? Well, that makeup artist, Amy Strozzi, has since flourished. Yesterday, she was nominated for an Emmy Award for her makeup artistry on the Fox series, So You Think You Can Dance.

  39. emrysa1:10 PM

    gryphen I can't stop laughing at these pics. that 3rd pic reminds me of that great one by zaki that you have used in the past. exact same look. next time you have a post that doesn't have a corresponding picture please use both of those together. those pics show the true sarah palin - mean and nasty bitch.

  40. emrysa1:22 PM

    anon @ 12:48: no, it's not just you.

  41. Lynne1:32 PM

    I love it...whoever said it...I CAN'T FEEL MY LIPS! Perfect.

  42. honestyinGov1:34 PM

    Picture # 1
    " That's a GOOD question Bill...But.... I've got Nothing.."
    " I'll get back to you on that.... and dig something up".

  43. Anonymous1:36 PM

    I wonder if she's good in bed. Levi, can ya help me out here.

  44. Notice the EYES.

    pic #1 - eyes are DEAD
    #2 - FEAR - don't find me out!
    #3 - PLEADING - Make it STOP, I am begging!

    I see a very frightened, insecure person who KNOWS she is over her head. She tries to cover it up with snark, bravado and fast talking.

    If she didn't do so much damage with her hateful rants, I would feel sorry for her. But she is dangerous, preying on the uneducated and weak-minded among us.

  45. #1. Well since I don't get my way, I am taking my ball and going home, so nah take that.

    #2. hhmmm, yes that sounds right The Palin Factor, sounds much better than old Billy Who.

    #3. Damn those goes that damn itch again, (inks in palm, Monostat)

  46. Anonymous2:05 PM

    "What would 'I' do if in charge Bill? Any of em, all of em"

  47. I like 1 and 3! Haha! I didn't notice such expressions, I suppose coz I listening to most of it without looking on my iPhone. Ummm, from what I know about bill o: I'm pretty sure that the real billo deep inside there can't stand her and thinks she's a disgraceful moron. Do you know he actually used to be okay? After 911 he turned into a conservative. It is
    actually a sad commentary on our times that such a partisan person is
    now considered decent in comparison to the far right hacks that support every single thing she says. Bill has said after all that Sarah 'needs to go back to
    school' ie schooled in world
    affairs, year 5 geography etc.

    Hey: is it just me in Australia or wasn't everyone pretty much tested on knowing the continents well before their tenth birthday? I learnt it when I was five or

  48. erica2:14 PM

    Sarah is now so hard-lookng.nothing she can do will change that.Not a face lift or make up.Her mean heart is showing up on her face.
    If Sarah is reading this,det some therapy,learn to enjoy your life or you will be a bitter shriveled up old lady.Your mouth and eyes look so tense.
    part of your charm at the RNC was a bit of softness in your face but not any imore !!1

  49. #1 - November 2, 2012 Palin's response when told President Obama has won his re-election bid. (by a 4 to 1 margin)

    #2 - "If I sit very still and don't say anything maybe no one will notice that I forgot to put my dentures in this morning."

    #3 - "I told my hairdresser to use three bump-its in my hair and she only used two, just wait until I get my hands on her!"

  50. Anonymous2:21 PM

    #3: What the president needs to do is apply a "common sense" solution. Secure the border then deport all illegals. It's simple, Bill, I'm full of these common sense solutions. Why is no one listening?

  51. Sarah has been spotted. Ha found the head on DemUnderground.

  52. 1. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa stop askin me such tough questions Bill. Doncha know who I am? I'm Sarah Palin an if you don't stop one a my followers is gonna getcha!!

  53. Anonymous3:07 PM

    1) Sulking Sow

    2) Simpering Sow

    3) Shifty Sow

  54. 2. Hmmmm Bill. About them illegals, well, I say we immediately deport every single Mexican who's not pregnant. As to the pregnant ones, well Bill, it is our duty as patriotic Americans to protect those helpless unborn children. We will need to make sure these women won't get an abortion once they're back in Mexico. So Bill, the common sense thing to do is just lockem up in prison until they whelp. Once they do, then Bill, we'll say, as they say in Mexico, "sayonara" to Mexican mama and her law breakin baby.

  55. Anon @ 12:48
    I love the nickname "Palins Pussy" If it could talk could you even imagine the tales it could tell?

  56. Anonymous3:29 PM

    Poor old Swag-Hag didn't know what to do!! Wonder if she called Ailes over at Cluster-Fox after the mash-up and whined in his fat ear???

    Either that or Billo-the-clown has a death wish... the Swag-Hag will have her pal put a voodoo curse on him!!!

  57. Anonymous3:58 PM

    She looks like she's trying so hard to get her brain cells to work...interesting faces. You can tell she's ticked that he isn't throwing her softball questions.
    M. A. in MD

  58. Anonymous4:09 PM

    I think she looks like George W. Bush in all those pics! She certainly doesn't look like a woman.

  59. # 3:

    I SAID, Bill, bad behavior should not be rewarded! That includes YOU.
    My worshipers will see to it. Reload!

  60. Anonymous4:33 PM

    Picture No. 1
    Incontinence Stinks.

    Picture No. 2
    Forgot to put in my teeth

    Picture No. 3
    I hope they dont notice I didnt put in my teeth...if I smile like this may...

  61. Grouchodawg4:36 PM

    #1 - Hmm..Bill's right. I really AM an Idiot!!!

    #2 - I think that I got some of that mooseburger stuck in my teeth!

    #3 - Ask me another question like that Bill and I'll rip off your head and shit in your neck!!!!!

  62. Anonymous4:54 PM

    #1 Hey look my jowels are sagging as much as my boobies!

    #2 No one can tell I am doing my butt exercises, I'm so cool.

    #3 I'm gonna send Todd and his family to tell him to stop this.

  63. Anonymous4:59 PM

    #1 I'm here for the Ugly Mug contest. Did I win?

  64. Anonymous5:03 PM

    #1, #2, and #3

    Must keep my batsh*t craziness from escaping...

  65. Anonymous5:17 PM

    Maybe her teeth are slipping. She looks like a mean grandma.

    Can you imagine Trig looking at her face?

    Why does she look like the type of person that pinches?

    I am still afraid that she is going to have him ko'd so people wont find out she lied about him.

    I agree with the other writer. Makeup and botox is not helping.

    Face it kiddo, lack of substance at your age can be tragic. And, you are not getting better looking.

  66. Diane5:23 PM

    #1 - pouty look:

    Aye Billie-Boy dontcha think ya can get away with this here kind of interrogation yer doin on me right now...I'll getcha..I'll get back atcha...oh yes I will.

    #2) demure look

    Oh why-o-why can't I think of something clever to say right about now..ahh...geeze Billie...throw me a bone....

    #3) grrrr look

    Ok Mr. Bill you've had it buddy boy. I'm gonna grab ya by the ears and throw ya over my shoulder if you don't straighten up this hear me?

  67. Anonymous5:34 PM

    1. Facebook crashed??!?

    3. Eye going wonky, must concentrate, must look straight ahead!

  68. Randall5:43 PM

    1. Oh poo! The raccoon on my head died.

    2. O'Reilly, amazed, watches as Sarah begins to pray:
    (Sarah voice) "Jesus?"
    (Sarah's ventriloquist voice) "Yes Sarah"
    (Sarah voice) "Help me, Jesus!"
    (Sarah's ventriloquist voice) "BILL, It's ME, Jesus - quit picking on Sarah..."

    3.'s not working; my flawless logic is more than his puny brain can handle... I'll have to use my MIND CONTROL!!!
    ...concentrate - concentrate - (oops - I farted a little bit) - works on the teabaggers! (Oooh, did it again - dang - those moose-burgers are backin up on me)Look into my no - pay no attention to that smell look in my eyes, that's it...

  69. Anonymous5:49 PM

    5:17, she TOTALLY looks like the type of person who pinches! Ding, ding, ding!!!

  70. Anonymous5:49 PM

    # 2 - Darn, I wish I hadn't let that fart out

    # 3 - I wish I'd taken that Ex-Lax last night.

  71. Anonymous5:56 PM

    LOL: "Why does she look like someone that pinches?"

    She totally does!

  72. Enjay in E MT6:21 PM

    Great Captions ! She needs to practice better anger management skills. Noted -- no ring again. Hmmmm

    Realize its a lost cause, but am trying to figure out what is half govs position on Immigration reform.

    1) Build the dang fence. (She got hers built in 24 hrs.)

    2) Man the fence with our military. (The ones that are on leave from Iraq & Afghanistan?) Few more gazillion bucks

    3) Round up 12 mil ppl & send them back (With or without parachutes?) or hire enough ppl to process 12 mil claims on a case by case basis to decide if "they can stay" Hell - we're in deep anyway - lets add another couple gazillion.

    Unanticipated advantage - not only will jobs be available in picking fruit & veggies, nursing homes aides, hotel staffing, but at least a million "immigration processors" will be needed on a full time basis.

    Ummm Sowa Palin - who is going to pay for this???

  73. Anonymous7:08 PM

    Man, that bottom one really shows off her wonky eye!

  74. Anonymous7:40 PM

    I want to know why does Palin always wear that bump? Is she trying to cover the horns on top the of her head?

  75. Anonymous8:07 PM

    Sheep Creek Lodge. Think NE is on the case?

  76. In pic #1, she kinda looks like Droopy from the old Tex Avery cartoons!

    Sound bite here.

  77. Anonymous11:07 PM

    O/T, but FWIW: The Bill-O interview is going viral, and the story is not too kind on our gorilla from Wasilla:

  78. Anonymous11:24 PM

    I have a caption for all three pics.

    " What? I have to know stuff? Eff you for pulling back the curtains."

  79. Anonymous4:20 AM

    I am sure she has lazy eye. My son had it, you can really see it in this picture.

  80. Anon at 8:07 "you betcha"

  81. Anonymous6:46 AM

    #1 - No big deal, I'll just get Van-Flea to take care of this!

    #2 - maybe not.. where is Todd? I may need another fence!

    #3 - Shit! I knew I should have brought Piper!

    ....Another episode of big, bad Sarah in action. hehe!

  82. FEDUP!!!7:42 AM

    BTW: I believe this is the last of her SOMEWHAT unscripted interviews.

    From now on, she will insist on being given the questions AND the answers beforehand!

  83. Anonymous8:16 AM

    Number 1:

    These are not the preselected questions I picked you SOB!

    Number 2:

    Oh crap... the answers on my poor man's teleprompter does not match the question... how can I switch the subject to match the answers written on my palm?

  84. Anonymous8:19 AM

    Number 1:
    Palin daydreaming..."Don't tell me I have to fake another pregnancy!
    Damn that Levi... isn't two kids enough?"

  85. Anonymous8:24 AM

    Number 3:

    Why didn't he ask me how am I doing? I know the answer to that one!

  86. #1 - You sank my battleship!
    #2 - Dang I should have used Vaseline.
    # - I'm gonna get you sucka!

  87. Anonymous8:51 AM

    FEDUP...I agree that BOR will have to change his interview approach because of this fiasco on FOX.

    I think BOR should change the format somewhat with their next interview. BOR should announce that he's setting aside the 1st few minutes of the interview for Palin's brain dump.. let her spew out all her puppet master's talking points; do her Obama bashing; make her snarks to the current issue de-jour; remind everyone of her expertise to whatever the American issue is in the spotlight this week; engage is a few winky dinks for the audience; and then once that tape recording that's running around in her brain has ended... start the real interview. She'll probably be fatigued from those few minutes of brain dumping that she will need Piper to finish the interview for her.

  88. Good King Winces at the Loss9:54 AM

    I agree with the poster who observes that she is not as soft and pretty as she once was. The stress is showing all over her. She is like the no-brain, pretty but not-so popular girl who was yanked onto the debate team and suddenly realizes that she has to WORK to keep her new position and that she is slipping.

    Her handlers will protect her until they realize that her bus is secure in a lake where she can't run over them any more and will bail, leaving her alone on it. They will disappear like groupies from a start when a show is canceled.

  89. AKPetMom said...

    Anon @ 12:48
    I love the nickname "Palins Pussy" If it could talk could you even imagine the tales it could tell?

    So do I. I bet Todd's dick, Curtis's dick, and Brad'd dick would have a lot to say too

  90. Anonymous10:57 AM

    I dont care what what anybody says. She's just so gosh darn pretty she makes any gibberish sound erudite. And nobody rocks the sexy Hasidic Jewish wig (SKU# 64598746 Save 35% today only!) like she does. How many world class leaders do you know who can morph immutable intellectual torpor into $12 million worth of charisma?

  91. Like the late Molly Ivins said, 'watch out when someone's mouth gets smaller than a chicken's asshole.'


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