Friday morning gossip round up. Baby, baby who's having whose baby?

Okay I am aware you have all wanted to know why I have been somewhat quiet on this topic, so let me bring you all up to speed on what I have learned about this new scandal.

But first, just to bring you up to speed take a second to read this from Radar Online.

Bristol Palin’s friends admit she is “heartbroken” after learning that her fiancé and baby daddy, Levi Johnston, may have gotten his ex-girlfriend pregnant, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

The bombshell news broke this week after the National Enquirer reported that Levi’s old girlfriend, Lanesia Garcia, was pregnant.

Garcia and Levi reunited briefly last year during his break-up from Bristol and it was during that time that Garcia learned she was pregnant.

Levi and Bristol Engaged!

“Levi insists the baby isn’t his, but no one really knows for sure,” a source told RadarOnline.com exclusively.

“Levi is one of three possible fathers who were with Lanesia during the probable week of conception.”

According to friends, Bristol, 19, is devastated by the news and is thinking twice about moving forward with the engagement.

Okay now for those of you who were not constant visitors to Palin's Deceptions, Lanesia Garcia was Bristol Palins main competition for Levi's..well let's go with "heart"...over the last several years. 

In fact so deeply jealous is Bristol of Lanesia, that she even used Mercede's continued friendship with her to bully Levi into not bringing Tripp over to his Mom's house just in case Lanesia was over visiting. (When Sadie alluded to Bristol not wanting Tripp around her friends, some of who were ex-girlfriends of Levi, Lanesia is mostly who she was talking about.)

Now sources have told me that almost as soon as Bristol and Levi finished with their big US Weekly photo spread together that Bristol started to hear rumors that Lanesia was pregnant and demanded to know if it was Levi's .  He assured her that he was not the father, but Bristol was not convinced.

As soon as this story broke on Wednesday I reached out to Mercde to find out what she knew.  She said she had no idea, but did contact Lanesia who claimed the story was false and that Levi was NOT the baby's father. However she also claimed that she and Levi had not been intimate."Sniff, sniff," yeah guess what does not pass the smell test? 

Based on that denial Mercede said she was not absolutely positive Lanesia was being honest with her (What is it with these Wasilla girls and their phony denials of sexual activity with Levi?) So as of right now the jury is still out as to whether Levi is in fact going to have another playmate for Tripp to hang out with in the future. (I am just kidding Bristol would NEVER allow Lanesia's child to even be in the same room as her precious bundle of joy. No way, no how!)

We also know that Bristol moved her crap out of the Anchorage condo she was living in. And that NO public pictures of her have been released since her photo spread with Levi and the adorable Tripp.

Now all of that I have written above is accurate, reliable data.  So now let's get to the rumors.

According to sources, Bristol IS indeed back at the Palin compound.  She MIGHT be looking into purchasing a house out that way, but that is only from one source so take it for what it is worth.

There have been a few pictures that have shown up on Bristol's super secret (though everybody knows about it) Facebook page showing her looking not terribly pregnant.  But judging from the surrounding foliage it appears they may not be exactly current and in fact an attempt to throw people off of the scent of an impending pregnancy.

Now on THAT speculation I can say that about half a dozen sources are pretty positive Bristol IS with child, and further that the baby is NOT Levi's, but instead recently replaced boy toy Ben Barber's.

Which, if true, means that Bristol is busting Levi's balls about knocking up his old girlfriend while potentially carrying the child of one of HIS best friends. Which would be shocking because I have never known the Palin women to be hypocrites.

"Cough, cough, gag", sorry I choked on a ball of snark there.

Now before all of the attacks start flowing in accusing me of "going after the family", and saying "leave the kids alone", let me tell you why all of this is relevant.

Number one Bristol is still the Candies spokesperson for abstinence. So the fact that she might be "with child" from a boyfriend who she claimed not to even have back in May, (though according to Ben himself they had been dating since December of 2009), is relevant in that it reinforces that lying is a Palin family tradition proudly handed down from mother to daughter and that Bristol proudly wears the cloak of hypocrisy just as comfortably as her famous mother.

Number two this means that Levi is, once again, persona non grata with the Palin family.  He has no book or television deals lined up, no Bristol Palin money to count on, and due to his unconscionable treatment of his family, no safe place to go and lick his wounds.  The boy is going to be desperate to find somebody who is willing to lend him a hand.  So call me Levi, you should have done it ages ago, but better late than never. You know I can help, all you have to do is swallow a little pride.  By now you should be used to it.

Number three, and most important, NO WAY can Sarah twist this around and shine it up for the voting public.  I was positive that she was going to run in 2012, but if even a fraction of these rumors turn out to be true, she would be lucky to even get onstage once with Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, and Mike Huckabee before being laughed off and forced to hightail it back to the relative safety of her house on Lake Lucille. Which means that even though Sarah spent a small fortune trying desperately to cover her tracks in Wasilla so nothing unseemly could derail her political ambitions, it will be yet ANOTHER baby that ends up putting the final nail in her political coffin.

In other words my friends, I believe we may just be witnessing the karmic hand of justice putting things right in the world.  And that is certainly something worth reporting, don't you agree?

Update: By the way I attempted to find a copy of the National Enquirer before I did this post, another reason why I waited, but since I live in freaking Alaska it will be another week before we get it.

So if any of you stalwart visitors are willing to be seen purchasing the rag, and then also willing to send me an e-mail or comment letting me know what it says, that would really help to know who to believe in this situation. If Lanesia gave an interview to the NE saying that Levi might be the baby daddy, and yet told Mercede he was definitely not, THAT would be very interesting information.

Update 2: Levi is off the hook!