In her latest post Sadie has stepped out of her comfort zone to do a little reporting about one of the biggest problems facing the young people in the Mat-Su Valley:
They’re going to look at this as, Bristol Palin got pregnant as a teen, and now she is famous! They will see her being offered multiple opportunities, being cast on a sitcom, joining the cast of “Dancing with the Stars”, all while making hundreds of thousands of dollars. For many teens it will appear that the road to success is through unprotected sex.
I really hope that the media will realize that this kind of thing is sending the message to other young teens that this is glamorous and a way to get a lot of attention. Since Bristol became pregnant, and made headlines world wide, teen pregnancy in Wasilla has sky rocketed!
Everywhere I look I see somebody who is expecting a new baby. If you go into a public restroom there is writing on the walls saying:
“Is it bad that I’m 15 and want a baby soooo bad?”
“I would give anything to have a baby!”
“I want to be a mommy at 14!”
And many other extremely disturbing and jaw dropping messages. I think that having Bristol on television dancing along with those other so-called celebrities is just going to reinforce the idea in the minds of many teens that having a baby can make you glamorous and famous, and you will get tons of attention. Which of course is absolutely ridiculous! Yet many of these girls are just screaming for attention and believe this is a way to get it.
(You can read the rest of Sadie's post here.)
I have to say I am pretty proud of Mercede for tackling this topic. She has talked with me about it often and I KNOW it is a something that has been on her mind for some time. As much as Sadie loves babies, she simply cannot understand why the young women in Wasilla are so desperate to take on such a huge responsibility at such a tender age.
By the way, just for comparisons sake, why don't you also read this interview with Bristol about the message she believes she is sending by appearing on DWTS:
“Yes, we can balance work and family, and we can also take on a new and exciting challenge.”
Gee now, I wonder which one of these young women is living in a reality based environment?
Here's the reality for most teen mothers:
ReplyDeleteThe "work" is trying to finish a high school education or working at a local eatery or retail store (if the young mother can find a job that works with a child care schedule).
The "family" is an infant. Many teen moms find themselves estranged from their families and the father of the baby. The vast majority of them do not have the wherewithal to pay for a nanny or child care that is not provided by a relative.
The "new experience" is coping with the unexpected changes a baby brings. It's not as much about "someone who loves me" as it is about "someone who needs me, around the clock, in a messy, inconvenient, social-life-be-damned way."
Does Bristol really "get" any of this? Other contestants on DWTS have had children, certainly, but not when they are so young and without a life partner. Please don't compare yourself to them or to any other teen mother.
Hey Gryphen - as an evangelical who lives in the Valley, I am constantly astounded by the number of teens in churches out here who turn up pregnant. While any young girl who finds herself expecting a child should have a loving support system of family and friends, it makes me very sad and perplexed that somehow the messages of waiting to create a family until other aspects of one's life are in place (marriage, education, job, income, etc) is somehow falling on deaf ears.
ReplyDeleteIt's weirdly a silent issue. What can people sitting in pews do by the time a young girl is shopping at Maternity Wear? Fifteen years ago these situations were treated with extreme silence. Now it seems so normative - people just figure out which day to host a baby shower, but they still don't want to talk about it much.
It's really weird.
Also - O/T - on a post yesterday you mentioned that some writers seem to be trying to dismiss the authenticity of the Vanity Fair piece - and if I'm not mistaken you alluded to the fact that you had an idea as to why.
The only reason I can think that a liberal journalist would try to discredit the Vanity Fair piece (and I live out here and can totally verify that, while people are by and large still afraid to speak, more and more of us are becoming less afraid. Look at me - I just wrote that last sentence. May not seem like a big deal to someone sitting in Seattle, but it's a heck of a big deal for someone sitting off Shrock Road). Here's what I'm thinking - some of these journalists desperately want Sarah to maintain viability and win the Republican nomination - that's why they try to discredit the negative reports that come out about her. Is this what you were thinking?
This is a great post by Mercede.
ReplyDeleteOT but there's been another oil rig explosion off Gulf coast. Damn!
BP is an excellent example on how to balance work and family.....heres how it works: first don't have a job and second have somebody else raise the kid. Bingo! Plenty of time for new challenges....especially when Mama pays.
ReplyDeleteHate to break it to you babe but Bristol has nothing to do with rising teen pregnancy and Wasilla is no different from other places regardless of the smallness. Promiscuity and all that entails is accepted today in "popular cliques" and we are slowly regressing back to a time where girls are thinking about babies and marriage at young ages. Heck I thought about it because I love babies as well but I also love my career and fredom. People are people and some people dream of being mothers more than anything. As long as they have a good family or can support themselves, we shouldn't judge their personal decisions. But to blame it all on Bristol just because she accepted the role on DWTS is absurd. She's unique in that she is always going to be continually talked about no matter what she does - esp when she leaves Alaska. Why not take opportunities as they come. She's was given all this through circumstances. Why not take it? Teens must be taught not to live life based on other people and choosing to have a baby at 14 may not be smart but its her decision - and her parents problem. You could try to organize a meeting in Wasilla and become a local advocate but it will probably do no good. Teenagers generally go with the trend and react to their inner demons.Remember how much we internalized and how many problems we brought our parents? People from the ages 10-18 are coming into their own person and developing a life outside their parents. The is also the first time in history the younger generation probably won't make as much money as their parents (from an article some time ago this year). Life is short, too short to neglect strong impulses. Because I'll tell you this. If you put off having children you REALLY want too long, it will be too late. Mika B on Morning Joe brought herself a lot of criticism when she said don't wait because life doesn't slow down. People can do it. I have friends in FL who started families at 17-18 and now at 24, have multiple kids. They are doing fine and are happy.
ReplyDeleteCase in point, don't put all the blame on Bristol. If Mercede really cares deeply, she should pursue advocacy at the local level and grow.Trust me, the last thing a 14 yr old is thinking about is, "hmm, this girl had a baby, got on tv,im gonna do the same thing."
No it's more like "He' says he likes me and it will grow to love if we have a baby and then ill be happy forever because those are the 2 things I want."
For people who possess it, motherhood is a powerful desire and drug. Suppressing it will only b emore emotionally harmful. Trust me. And having an abortion because your life isn't picture perfect will do greater harm. Trust me more.
Well isn't that something. So teen pregnancy is acceptable when white girls become teen moms. I'm sure the narrative will change. White pregnant teens choose life. Black pregnant teens, well we can just ask Dr. Laura to finish that sentence.
ReplyDeleteRemember that myspace post to Sadie back in May 08? "It seems like everyone is having a baby - and I mean everyone" or something to that effect. So the problem doesn't lie with Bristol, but with the teen struggle in determining their life's goals. Dont get me wrong, there are people who are meant to be just mothers and focus 100% on their children and thats fine. We shouldnt negate this. Communication is key. One person and even one foundation cannot change things. It's a global problem. The sooner people start reprimanding teen and premarital sex, the sooner morality can become a fact. But until Hollywood stops putting out these ridiculous shows, that wont happen. Ever read the 1963 (?) communist goals? Makes a lot of sense. This slutty trend was started decades ago and only now has become fully immersed in our culture. Damn you Europe.There we go again trying to be a country we're not.
ReplyDeleteAnon 8:11 wrote:
ReplyDelete"For people who possess it, motherhood is a powerful desire and drug. Suppressing it will only be more emotionally harmful. Trust me."
What a load of crap! Millions of women have suppressed their desire to be a mother (aka, "waited") until they were adults and better able to take of themselves and a baby. Have they all be harmed emotionally? Maybe all those millions of women don't really have the "desire of motherhood" you are describing.
How about I don't trust you, because you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
You wrote:
"The is also the first time in history the younger generation probably won't make as much money as their parents (from an article some time ago this year). Life is short, too short to neglect strong impulses. Because I'll tell you this. If you put off having children you REALLY want too long, it will be too late. "
What a crazy paragraph filled with contradiction and overblown warnings. We're not talking about traveling or buying a cool car, here. We're talking about bringing another human being into the world, a human being that will need to be taken care of and supported (at a time when the whole country is in financial dire straits).
Stop acting like we are slaves to our impulses and that if we don't have kids as teens or in our early 20s WE MAY NEVER HAVE KIDS...EVER!!!
8:11, I don't think the message is that Bristol bears all the blame, but she certainly is sending mixed messages by what she says and does.
ReplyDeleteBristol has put herself out there as a role model. It is appropriate to comment on the consequences of her hypocrisy.
You make good points that there a number of factors causing the rise of teen pregnancy, but we live in a time of celebrity-fever and young teens are certainly affected by what they hear, see and read in the various media. Advertisers know this - why else do you think Candie's tries to cover its overly sexual products with a thin veneer of abstinence or "pause before you play."
Mercede is to be praised for meeting this message head-on. She has a point: Bristol is blowing her opportunity to make a difference, a real difference in her own community, let alone the nation as a whole. She has a national platform thanks to her mother and to Candie's, but she is not utilizing it. It is a wasted opportunity.
No one believes Bristol can stop the trend, but she certainly is in a position to make some kind of impact. It's sad that she cannot see that.
Mercede - thanks for pointing this out!
8:19, amen!
ReplyDelete8:26, you need therapy!
Wow, I give Mercede a lot of credit for speaking the truth. But I hope she's ready for the blowback. Lots of people will be unhappy about this, and not just Palinbots ... I imagine some Wasillans will be pissed, too.
ReplyDeleteI just hope she's prepared. She seems like a very genuine person but one who doesn't have anybody really watching her back. Very tough situation!
Anon 7:49
ReplyDeleteI would suggest the church leadership, teen ministry, and teen leaders work on the problem. You absolutely need the teen leaders. I would suggest a positive, life-affirming, life-planning approach, not a "thou shalt not..." Help get the kids focused on their future and what they need to do/learn to get there. One tricky part is to be supportive of the teen mother, but not making her the center of attention, either positive or negative. Another group could actively look for at risk teens and provide some sort of adult mentor program. Most of all give love and attention, not judgment.
8:26, whoa - are you serious? Blaming communists and Europe? Good grief, get a grip.
ReplyDeleteBeing a teenager means coping with raging hormones, insecurity, and a growing desperate desire to claim your own adulthood. We live in the age of instant gratification. We also live in an age where chemical growth hormones are injected into much our food to the point where grade school girls are growing breasts.
Europe is not to blame. Communism is not to blame. We are to blame. We don't spend enough time with our children and we refuse to let schools teach sex education. We don't teach our children how to cope with their anger, fears, or desires. Sending them to church once or twice a week or scaring them with admonitions against sinfulness isn't sufficient either.
Please do not be like Sarah and place the blame for teen pregnancies anywhere else but on our own individual doorsteps. We as parents are the primary teachers of our children and bear the responsibility of their actions if we have not tried to equip them with the emotional and intellectual tools they need to make wiser decisions.
We can also refuse to buy them the slutty clothes so fashionable now. We can talk to our sons and instill self-discipline in them. Why is it always the girl's responsibility? Our sons need teaching as well.
Who asked Bristol to set an example for all moms? Her mother? Poor girl must find out the hard way that setting an example for all moms would be to do the "right" thing. Finish her degree, college, or learn a skill and stick to that, and work in a reality-based lifestyle. THAT would be the perfect example.
ReplyDelete"Yes, we can balance work and family" she was quoted as saying. Well, of course billions of women already know this, Bristol. Do you read? How is being celebrated with a lavish salary going to help others appreciate how to balance work and family.
This girl lives in La-la-land, just like her mother.
Each contestant gets a $125,000 for signing bonus, and then earn $10,000 an episode for Weeks 3 and 4, $20,000 an episode for Weeks 5 and 6, $30,000 an episode for Weeks 7 and 8, and $50,000 an episode for the final two weeks.
ReplyDeleteAnon @ 8:11 - LOL, yeah, we'll trust your brilliant family planning insight when you sign your name.
ReplyDeleteHere's the irony with fundy politics 101, live with Jesus, ignore your children. Have your multiple children take care of each other while you pray and read the Bible and count yourselves a soldier of God's Army. Said neglected and overworked daughters scheme to get out of fundie household by getting pregnant - become responsible for own family. These under 18 girls don't want abortions, just like Bristol, they wanted control in their life and what better way than through your womb? Yet this population came out en force to make it illegal for incest and rape victims to get an abortion without their parents notified.
Let's make a deal, you practice pro-life, the rest of us practice family planning.
Bristol doesn't know what it means to be a single teen parent anymore than Sarah knows what it means to raise a child with special needs.
ReplyDeleteOoh..I can't wait to read Bristol's book of how she was a teen pioneer setting out in her pick up truck alone with a toddler driving thousands of miles arriving in the big city searching for a place to live with the toddler on her back. I would be so informative how a former office assistant struck out for Hollywood, located a child care provider all alone, serving moms everywhere. (sarcasam)
ReplyDeleteYet again the lies, ommissions and half truths are woven and spun. Presenting truth e.g a lawyer on retainer who sets up dummy corporations for this poor struggling teen, the teem of promoters, handlers would be deemed via twitter "attacks".
Here is what a person commented on Christian Science Monitor:
I am tired of Sarah and the lies. I attended one of her speeches and listened to many others, including her interviews on Fox. After awhile, it became harder to swallow her many contradictions from "Going Rogue". At first I thought it wasn't a big deal. I read "Going Rogue" twice. Then in her speeches she tell's these stories differently, with different circumstances. I was crushed when I realized, she's a storyteller extroadinaire. She can keep my money, but I'm not going to listen to her stories anymore. Her family is laughing at their good fortune to find out how to sucker Christians. Not this one anymore.
"For people who possess it, motherhood is a powerful desire and drug."
ReplyDeleteAre you serious? How about waiting to have an education, have the father around, whether married or not, or here is a real novel idea. Have a job and be an adult yourself.
When black women have children they are sluts and you know how blacks are. White girl has a baby at 15 great idea. You are a retard.
It lies mostly with little to no access to proper birth control information.
ReplyDeleteThe same thing happened in our small, rural Indiana community the year after the STUPID abstinence only shit was being spewed from PE classrooms across the land. My daughter had more intensive procreative education in the 7th grade (pre Bush) as opposed to the 10th grade (post Bush).
THAT is the problem and it has not been fixed. Kids are not going to stop having sex, especially in moronic communities that have no other outlet for them (like mine and seemingly Wasilla). There's nothing else to do but drink, drugs, and sex. It just seems now it is almost a status symbol to be packing a baby in your belly instead of a diploma in your pocket.
Bristol comes from a family who doesn't have realistic ideas about anything. Nobody can expect Bristol to have more sense than the two adults who have the most influence on her, SP & Todd.
ReplyDelete“Yes, we can balance work and family, and we can also take on a new and exciting challenge.”
Sounds exactly like what her mama said when John McCain called. In both cases, they should have blinked and thought twice before saying "oh this will be fun and exciting". Idiots.
That Sarah Palin doesn't step in and tell the kid that the message she is giving is the wrong message is mind-boggling. Exactly what I've learned to expect from SP.
It's been mentioned here that Bristol didn't go to California alone - that she is "traveling with Ivy Frye" who's purpose is to take care of Tripp. I would guess that 99.99% of young, single mother's don't have the means to support a nanny in their quest for "exciting new challenges". Another lie from one of the Palin's that Bristol is striking out on her own. If there's a nanny in tow, then she's not "alone".
Something else that bothers me: the expression of "strong family support" when someone has a baby before marriage and at a young age. Does the family have a say in whether or not they have to give up a lot of their own freedom or money to support the baby? Sarah Palin has always said that she has "strong family support" which is great and wonderful but she followed that up with "she kept Trig's birth a secret even from her family...until 7 months or so". (Whether or not she's actually Trig's mother isn't an issue in this case. She expected her family to step up and support her no matter whose child he is). So her family had no say about whether they were prepared to care for a new baby (in this case a special needs baby) while SP worked as governor of AK and then as she ran around the country. It shows a complete lack of consideration for her strong and loving family. SP made a decision about her extended family's time without them having a choice. Selfishnes on her part.
I would say the same to a teen who's wanting to have a baby: go ask your parents if they want to take on the responsibility of a new baby. Maybe they have other plans for their own lives. But if they say yes to you "without blinking", then hey go get pregnant.
Once again, Sadie is showing she has a head on her shoulders.
Sadly, these young ladies can't or won't get that it's not going to be easy for them if they get pregnant at 13, 14, 15, 16 years old. I agree that Bristol isn't the cause of this deep issue, but she certainly isn't helping the situation. I mean, come on, her only claim to fame is a lack of a condom during the right (or wrong?) time of the month! And for that, she's paid more than most hardworking college graduates will see in 10 years.
ReplyDeleteThe reality for the other girls in Wasilla is more like an absent baby daddy, little family support and clamoring for a low-wage McJob someplace while trying to find a place to live and decent childcare. Most of these girls know they won't get magazine spreads and TV gigs -- that's only reserved for the white daughter of a white 'family values' has been politician who is desperately clinging to her 15 minutes -- but it seems like they don't get a clear understanding of what being a teen mom really entails. I'm not sure what the remedy is for this lack of knowledge outside of parents and teachers hammering the message home. As I said before, having people like BristHole glamorizing teen pregnancy isn't helping, but it is equally damning to have adults bury their heads in the sand and hope this problem somehow resolves itself.
Congrats to Mercede, the smartest girl in the valley, apparently and to her mother for teaching her the truth about sex and birth control.
ReplyDeleteAnon 9:26 is right on the money. I can tell you that many of Bristol's friends in Wasilla/Anchorage/Juneau have babies...some of them are married and have already had 2 or 3 kids, some unmarried still with the baby daddy, some are single.
ReplyDeleteTo these girls, the baby is an escape from their boring lives, or an accessory to be showed off like a new handbag or a puppy. They dress them up, take pictures of them, and talk about how cute they are. It is the most bizarre thing I've ever seen. Many live with their parents, and work waitress, retail, and coffee shop jobs. They have no ambition except to be with their baby daddies who work on the Slope if thy're lucky.
Two words-Birth Control.
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree somewhat with Mercedes' conclusion re: Bristol. While BP may have some influence on Wasilla teens, she's largely "who?" when it comes to teen girls in my neck of the woods (lower 48). Trust me, they don't watch DWTS. The Hoff??? Please...That train left town a long time ago.
ReplyDeleteI used to work directly with expectant & parenting teens, and they are less influenced by media than the charms of their "if you really love me, you'll do this" partners. And sadly, it usually devolved into racial/class lines.
The more affluent girls viewed having a baby as their ticket out from their own parents' repressive thumb. Most had no intentions of marrying the perpetrator of their pregnancy.
These were the ones most interested in getting their own apartments, and generally had their acts together since they had made a plan. Not a good plan, but a plan none the less. And they tended not to have repeat pregnancies.
The poorer girls viewed having a baby as a status symbol, sadly as did their mothers, who also had been teen mothers. The result was grandmas under the age of 35.
Their daughter's fecundity was interpreted as an extension of their own. And since the pregnant daughter continued to live at home, the entire family continued to receive assistance (WIC, food stamps, Medicaid, AFDC).
Her mother could be drafted as the babysitter, thus exempting her from having to find a regular, outside job at the local Walmart. The daughter could continue to go to school, but sadly, was usually pregnant again in about 2 years in order to maintain the status quo.
It was pulling hen's teeth fighting what was a cultural norm. I rarely if ever saw any male around the house other than the mother's boyfriend. Sometimes he was working, but usually he too was unemployed. Because of the way the welfare laws are structured, *they* couldn't marry or all the benefits would get cut off.
Now before I get blasted as being prejudiced, I was a teen mom born to a teen mom. Both my mom & I were each married before embarking on our pregnancies, but that's how things were done back in the day.
You have no idea how much my co-workers and I wished we could have intervened earlier with our girls. Many became like daughters to us because we enrolled them in our program shortly after they became pregnant and followed them officially until the baby was a year old.
But sadly, it was the prevailing culture that had the most influence on them. I checked with my former co-workers after reading Mercedes' blogpost, and nothing much has changed.
I have to disagree somewhat with Mercedes' conclusion re: Bristol. While BP may have some influence on Wasilla teens, she's largely "who?" when it comes to teen girls in my neck of the woods (lower 48).
ReplyDeleteI worked directly with expectant & parenting teens, & they are less influenced by media than the charms of their "if you really love me, you'll do this" partners. Sadly, it usually devolved into racial/class lines.
More affluent girls saw it as a ticket out from their own parents' repressive thumb--no intentions of marrying the father.
These were the ones most interested in getting their own apartments, & generally had their acts together since they had made a plan. Not a good plan, but a plan none the less. And they tended not to have repeat pregnancies.
The poorer girls viewed a baby as a status symbol, as did their mothers, who also had been teen mothers. Grandmas under the age of 35, sometimes 30.
Their daughter's fecundity was interpreted as an extension of their own. Since the pregnant daughter continued to live at home, the entire family continued to receive assistance (WIC, food stamps, Medicaid, AFDC).
Mom could be drafted as babysitter, exempting her from having to find a regular, outside job at the local Walmart. The daughter could continue to go to school, but sadly, was usually pregnant again in about 2 years in order to maintain the status quo.
It was pulling hen's teeth fighting what was a cultural norm. I rarely if ever saw any male around the house other than the mother's boyfriend. Sometimes he was working, but usually he too was unemployed. Because of the way the welfare laws are structured, *they* couldn't marry or all the benefits would get cut off.
Now before I get blasted as being prejudiced, I was a teen mom born to a teen mom. Both my mom & I were each married before embarking on our pregnancies, but that's how things were done back in the day.
You have no idea how much my co-workers and I wished we could have intervened earlier with our girls. Many became like daughters to us because we enrolled them in our program shortly after they became pregnant and followed them officially until the baby was a year old.
The prevailing culture has the most influence on them. I checked with my former co-workers after reading Mercedes' blogpost, and nothing much has changed.
holy cow, Bristol is rilly startin to sound like her mother. she even laughs like her
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree somewhat with Mercedes' conclusion re: Bristol. While BP may have some influence on Wasilla teens, she's largely "who?" when it comes to teen girls in my neck of the woods (lower 48).
ReplyDeleteI worked directly with expectant & parenting teens, and they are less influenced by media than the charms of their "if you really love me, you'll do this" partners. Sadly, it usually devolved into racial/class lines.
The more affluent girls viewed having a baby as their ticket out from their own parents' repressive thumb. Most had no intentions of marrying the father but wanted their own apartment.
The poorer girls saw a baby as a status symbol, as did their moms who also had been teen mothers. Grandmas under 35,sometimes 30.
Their daughter's fecundity was interpreted as an extension of their own. Since pregnant daughter continued to live at home, the entire family continued to receive assistance (WIC, food stamps, Medicaid, AFDC).
Mom could be drafted as babysitter --no outside job as per welfare. Daughter could continue school, but sadly, was usually pregnant again within 2 years in order to maintain the status quo.
It was pulling hen's teeth fighting cultural norm. I was a teen mom born to a teen mom, but we were each married before our pregnancies. That's how things were done back in the day.
You have no idea how much my co-workers and I wished we could have intervened earlier with our girls. Many became like daughters to us because we enrolled them in our program shortly after they became pregnant and followed them officially until the baby was a year old.
But sadly, it was the prevailing culture that had the most influence on them. I checked with my former co-workers after reading Mercedes' blogpost, and nothing much has changed.
Glad it's being called out, but frankly, the Palins could give a rat's ass if it's sending the wrong message to teens. I know I'm stating the obvious to those who have a sense of who the Palins really are, but being good role models is not their motivation.
ReplyDelete-- Malachi
Bristol is not old enough to reach out to the older, married moms and talk about trying something new. Babies to those of us without support and fat cat mommas with 13 million dollar books are worn out at the end of the day.
ReplyDeleteIf she ever pulls her head out, she will be embarrassed by what she is saying.
Yet another superficial, Hallmark card sermon from a member of the Palin family! How many teen moms have the luxury of raking in tens of thousands of dollars in speaking fees, television cameos, PSAs, US Magazine covers and phony PR corporations? Maybe one, and I'm looking at you Willow...
ReplyDeleteIf there is a less insightful, shallow, vapid, vacuous spokesperson for the purpose of combating teen pregnancy and motherhood I'd like to see it.
Bristol Palin is just a younger version of her grifter mother. She's cashing in on her failure to use birth control, all the while having a support system that leaves her free from the financial burden of raising a baby and the ability to turn her famous name and busy uterus into a cash cow that keeps churning out opportunities for her to make the kind of money no normal teen could even dream of.
I thought this family was beneath contempt but true to their nature they've proved me wrong.
Basically she's been named a "STAR" and handsomely rewarded by ABC because she's too irresponsible and stupid to prevent a pregnancy, and she happens to belong to a train wreck of a hillbilly, money-grubbing dysfunctional family.
What a pathetic and embarassing spectacle! Mercede is the role model here - certainly not the self-appointed re-virginized, Bristol Palin.
Anonymous @ 8:11-- also, "If I have sex with HIM, he won't like HER and I'll have him for myself and when I have his baby, he'll have to stay with me!"
ReplyDeleteYour post is right on.
AKMom Two words-Birth Control.
ReplyDeleteYup that too.
"... Yes, we can balance work and family, and we can also take on a new and exciting challenge..."
ReplyDelete- Bristol Palin
Yes I am like all the other single mothers out there, the only exception is that when I was 18 I started my own public relations company and got my first car... a brand new Cadillac Escallade... and and I bought my first condo… I did all that and I barely got my high school diploma… and and you can too! Yes I am like all the other single teenage mothers except I know where my next meal is coming from... I know I have a warm bed every night… I have a roof over my head to keep the snow and rain out… I pay cash for everything... I don't worry about next months rent... I don't have to worry about the repo man taking away my broken down car I hid two blocks away... And and I have a lawyer on speed dial in case my baby's daddy tries some funny business.
And and with a high school education and and no skills, I can go on Dancing With The Stars just like you!
I am like all the single mothers out there…
"... Yes, we can balance work and family, and we can also take on a new and exciting challenge..."
I am one of you!”
Speaking as a hardcore childfree by choice woman, I'm amazed at how the supposed "liberal" moms who grew up in the 60's with all those "new" options like birth control and eventually, legalized abortion, seem to be enabling this younger generation of moms. I know about four young girls right now - late teens to 20,21 - who are in no way equipped to take care of a child, but they are pregnant. They are not in stable relationships, have not completed their education, and are emotionally immature, and yet THEIR MOMS said, "That's okay, just come on home, hon, and I'll help you raise your kid."
ReplyDeleteInstead of - you know - recommending the morning after pill, an abortion, or adopting the kid out.
So I'm seeing weird stuff going on with the MOMS of these young moms, just as much as there seems to be a real disconnect with young women believing that having a baby is like adopting a puppy to carry around in your purse.
BOTH GENERATIONS need to be getting their acts together.
And you know what? Being childfree by choice is still a really great and happy option for many, many women. But we are living the ultimate taboo - we're not supposed to talk about how great it is not having kids and doing other valuable things with our lives. The cult of motherhood is still too wide and strong. We childfree women are pretty much required to shut the fuck up about our life choices because they are seen as illegitimate in every way. We are seen as pitiful CHILDLESS people, who somehow "failed' to fulfill our "divine function" of becoming mothers. Instead of childFREE by choice, which is when = SHOCK = a woman (and often her husband or life partner) choose NOT to have kids and remain happy, productive, and wonderful contributing members of society.....despite the fact that they chose not to become breeders.
Oddball trivia: In 1998 while working for a nonprofit alternative school, stats on teen pregnancy were discussed at a staff meeting.
ReplyDeleteAt that time there was a blip in the numbers indicating an upswing in teen pregnancies that involved teen girls with much older adult men, i.e. not just 18-year old males but men in their 30s and 40s.
Also American Indian teen mothers were increasingly giving birth to babies with Latino fathers. This was north side of Minneapolis, low-income, high-risk teens.
It's odd how often social trends are exposed within teen pregnancy rates.
All the 60's Liberal moms I know would never encourage or want their daughters to do what Bristol is doing and they've done a good job of making sure their daughters control their own destinies. That is the worst kind of stereotypical thinking. Maybe I don't know what you mean by "Liberal"?
ReplyDeleteHi anon 1:41 - when I say "liberal" I mean "liberal." As in , women who circa 1968-1978 were marching for women's rights, supporting the ERA, championing the idea that women could and should divorce abusive husbands, exercise their ability to use birth control and/or abortion if they want to. These SAME women are now actively pressuring their own daughters to move back home or stay at home (if they are still teens) to raise their own kids when they get pregnant at a really young age.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm talking about this weird disconnect I'm seeing. I have three people in my immediate family doing this. Many more in my extended circle of acquaintances/friends. Their daughters range from 15 - 21, and not a single one of them is in a good situation, practically speaking, to bring a child into the world. But grandmom is suddenly all pro-life and "you must have the kid if you conceived it" when they didn't act that way 20 years earlier when they were having their own abortions, or adopting a child out to a more stable family so the kid could have a great life.
This is a larger societal phenomenon that is really freaking me and my peers out. My friends and I are seeing this happening EVERYWHERE - the promotion of gee, just have a kid and move back with mom amongst the generations that fought so very, very hard for the most basic of women's rights back in the day.
I'm not saying moms shouldn't be supportive of their pregnant daughters. But really, do they honestly think any of these daughters with their babies are going to have decent lives when they are having kids at 16, 19, or 20 without learning how to earn a living, or even having a stable relationship yet? I am deeply concerned with what I see going on. And yes, I live on the uber-liberal East Coast, in an uber-liberal New Jeresy town with lots of liberals everywhere!
@Anon at 1:53:
ReplyDeleteThe moms encourage their pregnant daughters to move back home because economic times are tough and mom needs the income from baby's assistance/child support check.
It may be new to suburbia, but it's not a new trend, it's been happening in low-income families for generations.
I'm with Bristol. Pregnant teens should get their own reality shows, go on Dancing with the Stars, be supported by rich parents, become virgins, and preach to other teens to not do what you do. ...wait...huh?
ReplyDeleteIt's not just Wasilla, it's everywhere. This is a lost generation. Teen girls are emerging in a world where life is too boring, too disappointing, or too darn hard to try to do anything else other than hook up with a guy, get pregnant and coast through life with lowered expectations.
ReplyDeleteInstant baby? Instant love, period. And really, if the girl can get the guy to stick around, then she can cling to him and her worries are over, of course, as long as she doesn't ask too much from life, or think too much.
I used to believe we regressed to 1950 but I don't think that's the case anymore. We've regressed to some kind of 3rd world village mentality.
And look at the mentors and heros for girls in this day and age. It's not cool to think. It's not cool to want more, to raise the bar. Rhianna stayed with Chris and that was cool until he hit her a little TOO much. Otherwise, it was acceptable. A woman ain't a woman unless she can take some hard knocks. Babies are in, a family is all you need. Forget about who you are, what you care about, forget about books or art or travel or music or creating or making the world a better place. Forget about feminism. Forget about self-identity. Just fill your uterus like everyone else, get a boob job, think about where you can get your Brazilian blowout and what's next on sale instead of anything truly interesting in this world.
Are you freaking kidding me? If Bristol hadn't gotten pregnant, she'd be ten times the "star" she is now. There wouldn't be that "stain" on her reputation.
ReplyDeleteDuh.
Ummm NO, Bristol would not be a bigger star if she had not been pregnant during her mother's campaign.
ReplyDeleteShe and Levi were the "surprise" Romeo and Juliette of the fundies dreams.
Unfortunately it all spectacularly imploded and Bristol took on the role of the poor wronged girl just trying to take care of her baby all by herself. The right to lifers ate that with a spoon and made her a role model.
If it wasn't for the baby she would be Sarah's chubby daughter who takes care of her poor, sad baby brother. Nothing more, nothing less.
And don't think Little Piper isn't taking notes. That little one has more celeb ambition than Kim Kardashian.
The real question is why would ABC even want to associate themselves w/ this train wreck? Maybe promises from Mommy for more access in the future when she runs for that presidency thingee.