I will once again provide live Tweeting during tonight's episode of "Sarah Palin sees Alaska for the very first time."

It worked out pretty well last week so I thought I would give it a shot this time as well.

Here is a link to the preview for tonight's episode.

As you can see Snowdrift Snooki has run out of varmints to kill so she has turned her hatred of Mother Nature to a victim that she will not have to waste five bullets to take out, a tree.

Come along on another Alaskan adventure as we profile amazingly hard workers in the timber industry. Loggers are hearty and hardy, and the ones I know are true conservationists. I can’t wait for you to meet these lumberjacks!

In the interest of full disclosure my grandfather was a logger.  In fact he lost the middle finger of his right hand in a logging accident. However I don't remember him EVER referring to himself as a conservationist. In fact his opinion of conservationists, "tree huggers" he called them, was rather colorful and would undoubtedly have been even more so but for the loss of that missing finger.

And as for tonight's family prop we have.........drum roll please........ Willow Palin!

In addition, come see Willow’s eyes open to a new rugged and rustic lifestyle. Her driving skills improve (?) before she undertakes a family’s rite of passage with an upcoming driver’s license test. Any parent can relate.

Willow Palin with a driver's license? Oh THAT can't be good.

Here is the link to my Twitter account.  Like I said I will be tweeting during the show, and then later posting them here with some added details to explain what happened for those who did not subject themselves to the moosecrap.

Here are the tweets as promised.

Jesus that SPA theme song is all kinds of terrible!

Smart Tripp. Refuses to kiss Sarah. Good for him!

Tripp was snuggling up to and loving on Willow, but when Gramma Grisly came up for a kiss he immediately turned his head away. And another Johnston disses Sister Sarah!

The Palin kids cannot even PRETEND to give a crap anymore!

Both Willow and Piper could not look less thrilled about being filmed and having to listen to their mother's screechy voice telling them to "wake up" or "join in" or "at least don't roll your eyes."  I always get the feeling that there are book publishers watching these episodes and planning exactly how to lure one of the kids away from the Palin pack to sign a book deal.  "Do you want to REALLY piss your mom off little girl?"

Oh God Palin is celebrating her stupid "refudiate" mistake.

Snowdrift Snooki is being driven to go kill a tree when she looks up from her Blackberry and exclaims that her word "refudiate" is the most Googled word since she tweeted it accidentally.  I am not sure it is a badge of honor to have people turning to Google in an attempt to make sense out of what the hell you just said.

Logging IS quite dangerous. But we know Sarah survives so no suspense.

That was just mean of me and I apologize. I certainly do not want Palin to come to any harm.  That would mean she could not be prosecuted, and that would be MUCH more fun to watch.

No way is she cutting that tree by herself. I have used a chainsaw to take down trees, it requires substantial upper body strength.

She had two guys right next to her while she was using a monster chaninsaw to cut through a tree.  I have to imagine that THEY did the majority of the cutting.  Like I said it requires too much body strength for Palin to make it very far into one of those big ass trees.

Look for that chainsaw to show up on E-Bay sometime soon.

She signed the guys chainsaw.  Hmm I wonder if it will sell any faster than this did?

Todd is about as vaguely bearded as Joe Miller.

Todd usually has a much fuller goatee, but in this episode it looks like he shaved it of and it is just growing back. I don't really have a snarky comment, I just happened to notice it.

Willow can't hear Sarah talking? She should bottle that. She could make a fortune!

Palin remarks that it seems Willow only hears her when she wants to, and I could not help thinking that there are millions of people who would be willing to pay to have the ability to block out that annoying voice of hers.

What else would Willow do if she did not learn a skill? The same thing that Sarah does. Grift!

Sister Sarah remarks that she feels it is important for Willow to learn to be self sufficient and to learn a trade because, "what is she going to do if she doesn't?"  And yes, she said it with a straight face.

A swinger reference? That was for the horny male Palin-bots.

Sarah said she is not a swinger when she was told to swing a log onto a pile of other logs using a giant crane. I was wondering when the unnecessarily gratuitous sexual reference was coming, and there it is.

Sarah edits this program, and leaves in all of the parts of Willow back talking and ignoring her? Perhaps that is all she had to work with.

I swear that EVERY time the camera showed Willow she was rolling her eyes, smirking, or ignoring her mother's pleas to participate.  I kind of think that was the only footage they had of Willow so they did the best they could. This might endear Palin to a few mothers of teenage girls, but to me it just seemed like she had no control or influence in her family.

I don't think Palin has any idea how long it takes for a tree to reach maturity.

Harvesting trees and then planting seeds to reforest is the common practice, but Palin made it sound as if it would only take a short while before the trees they just cut down would be replaced with new trees.  In fact it will take decades.

Palin made new friends. By giving them a bunch of gifts. Undoubtedly paid for by the producers of her show. Can you say "tacky?"

For some odd reason Todd and Sarah brought out gifts and then played a game they called "Eskimo Bingo" (which I have never heard of), in which each person rolls the dice and, if they get doubles, they get to choose a present.  Even though she brought the gifts Sarah participated  as well, cackling at her luck when she got to choose a present.  I have no idea why they put that segment in, if not  to have the opportunity to film the people out in the logging camp interacting with the Palin family. Which I guess meant they had to bribe them with gifts.

I hope that they are explaining to Willow that stock car driving is NOT the same as driving on the highway.

I have to admit that the stock car racing looked like fun.  But once again Willow was a little hesitant to participate. I think Track would have enjoyed this part of the episode much more, but I guess he had HIS time in front of the camera already.

Really? Suspenseful; music? Are we supposed to think that Willow was injured? This show is aimed at the lowest IQ viewer imaginable.

Willow wiped out and drove into a dirt mound in the middle of the track.  It was not much of an impact and I could see Willow moving around, but they played suspenseful music and then cut to a commercial to draw out the "drama." It was a poorly contrived attempt to add a little excitement to what was a painfully dull episode.

Only one more episode? A TWO hour long finale? I may start drinking now.

Next week's episode is the finale (Thank God!), but they are planning to drag it out for two hours.  Can you imagine? TWO hours of the Grizzled Mama screeching at her family as they all try to ignore her?  Why isn't this show being used to scare off terrorists? ("If you try to bomb us we will stick you in a room with Sarah Palin for two hours!"  That's right, run home!")

Why is there an ambulance sound in the background? Seriously?

Now they return from the commercial and show people running to see if Willow is alright, and there is the sound of an ambulance in the background. This part actually made me laugh out loud.  It was almost too stupid to be believed.  (By the way, Sarah was NOT one of the ones running out to see if Willow was alright. Now THAT I had no trouble believing.)

The Mama Grizzly is going to look at ACTUAL Grizzlies. You know what my Christmas wish is? Never mind we know it did not happen.

Once again I was being mean, and I take it back.  I mean a bear could get serious indigestion eating somebody who was chick full of diet pills and Red Bull.

Those bears are eating salmon and do not give a crap about Palin, anymore than Obama does.

And yet Palin squealed about the bears as if she was terrified of them.  She asked their guide if he had a gun, even though the bears wee completely disinterested in them. (He replied he only had pepper spray but that they were fine.) I guess she was upset because the only thing that got killed in this episode was a tree. (And her political credibility of course.)

Sarah is confident that Willow will find her path just like Track and Bristol did. Poor Willow.

Mama Palin seems to think that Willow will do just as well as Bristol and Track have done.  Could that bar be set any lower for this poor kid?

I think Willow could do MUCH better than either Track or Bristol.  But first she needs to get the hell away from her family, and go to college.  I think she still has a chance to be her own person.

I am interested in what the ratings will be for this snoozefest. I will be very surprised if it has even two million viewers left.