Saturday, June 18, 2011

Sarah and Bristol Palin about to be trademarked, like Valtrex, Jägermeister, and Trojan brand prophylactics.

Image courtesy of Politico
From US News Politics:

The bids by Sarah Palin and her daughter Bristol Palin to trademark their names and images have cleared a major hurdle and should soon be approved for the potential presidential candidate and her Dancing With the Stars child.

Sources close to the process tell our Suzi Parker that nobody challenged Sarah Palin's trademark application. Today is the deadline to do so. They also say that Bristol Palin's went unchallenged. That deadline passed June 10.

Each should receive their trademark within three months, said the United States Patent and Trademark Office.

You know my assumption is that the Palins are hoping that they can control negative stories about them, and of course earn a buck, by controlling how their name is used.

However if they were hoping to keep ME from writing critical things about them then they are SOL.

That is unless Sarah also plans on trademarking "Granny Grifter," "Snowdrift Snooki," "The Grizzled Mama," and "Klondike Kardashian."

As for Bristol?  Well I think "Brittle," or "Bristle," or "The Chin" should suffice to give people a heads up as to who I am talking about.

But hey, nice try!


  1. Anonymous1:17 AM

    Funny, she didn't trademark these:

    Queen Esther with the Serpent's Heart

    The Loose Vagina of Wasilla

    Word Salad Lips

    Todd's Sugar Mama

    Media Whore

    Speaking of Todd, Sarah choosing to trademark the Palin name means that she's not getting divorced, huh? ENJOY SARAH!!!!!!

    My dream is to one day watch Sarah on live television have one of the hysterical meltdowns that Frank Bailey describes. Hopefully they'll keep the cameras rolling as the men in white coats come to take her away to a safe, quiet, padded cell where she will no longer be able to hurt herself or others.

    Btw, Bristol looks older than Sarah in that side-by-side comparison. She was a cute girl with a round face and now she has a witches chin and looks hard. Griftin' will do that to ya, ladies!

  2. Anonymous1:40 AM


    A gnat? No recollection of losing her virginity? Straight A student?

  3. Anonymous1:44 AM

    From the NY Daily News:

    Sarah Palin's daughter is proving hell hath no fury like an Alaskan scorned - especially one with publishing contacts.

    A cheeky Bristol Palin writes in her new book, due out next week, that her romance with ex-beau Levi Johnston - he of Playgirl fame - was one of "deception and disappointment."

    He "cheated on me about as frequently as he sharpened his hockey skates," Palin penned of the bad boy for whom she first fell in seventh grade.

    The "Dancing with the Stars" vet goes on to denigrate her former flame as "the gnat named Levi Johnston," in the teenage tell-all, entitled "Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far."

    Johnston, for his part, has promised to offer his own version of the affair in a rebuttal book: "Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin's Crosshairs."

    For now, readers must make do with the comely 20-year-old brunette's account of their sometimes sordid and failed romance.

    The tawdry tome includes prurient details of how Johnston deflowered Palin during a camping trip on which she got tanked for the first time.

    A pitiful Palin recounts how she awoke, alone, in her tent with no memory of what had transpired, while a joyful Johnston boasted of the conquest on his cell phone to friends.

    Palin had previously vowed to wait until marriage, she writes.

    In time, Johnston knocked up Palin, who added in the book she was initially so incredulous of positive home pregnancy kits, it took eight tests to convince her she was with child.

    The couple eventually had a son named Tripp, born in late 2008.

    But soon after, Palin writes she found a text on Johnston's cell phone revealing he once again had strayed. Johnston later confessed and left the Palin home, persona-non-grata.

    The narrative, published by William Morrow, co-written by author Nancy French and obtained on Friday by The Associated Press, also touches on life with the barnstorming ex-Alaska gov.

  4. Anonymous2:07 AM

    Oh Gryph I have just read the AP review of Bristol's book and all I can say is that when I said there couldn't be a more lie-laden, dishonest piece of tripe than Going Rogue...

    I was wrong.

    First of all, one of us here locally needs to undertake the major sacrifice of getting the book next week...and highlighting each page where she violates her custody agreement by disparaging Levi. And then send it to the judge. I'm in Palmer...not sure where they had the custody hearings but surely it can't be that far.

    And second, I am asking for the young adults who grew up with Bristol and Levi to be loud & proud when it comes to calling out Bristol's lies.

    According to her book, sweet straight A virgin Bristol was evilly corrupted by Levi when he took her camping and she drank wine coolers. He stole her virginity in the night and callously didn't even stay with her in the tent.

    Can you say... BULL. SHIT.

    And SADIE, you really need to stop these disappearing acts. A they make you seem unreliable and B people worry about you.

    Sadie said Bristol was trying to get pregnant...but in Bristol's 'book'...she was on birth control.

    God knows what other lies will be in that excuse for "a book".

  5. Anonymous2:08 AM

    These 2 airheads are simply shit eating fleas on a grander scale.

    When I clicked on my home page this morning which is, there was the ugly Bristol's mug with a headline about her coloring book in which she calls Levi a "gnat".

    I am beginning to believe that Levi is not the father to any of Bristol's babies but just a paid escort on Sarah's campaign to nowhere. He hasn't given Bristol any grief but she just keeps bitching all the way to the bank. I kinda wonder if Bristol was a paid prostitute all along. She sure seemed to love to spread her legs.

    If Bristol cared anything about her babies then she would shut her trap and quit creating such a toxic cloud around those babies. I suspect that maybe Bristol has inherited her Mama's mental illness. Those babies are going to grow up and read all the nasty things Bristol has said and written. Those poor babies are stuck with such a poor excuse of a mother as Bristol, it's downright shameful.

  6. Anonymous2:17 AM

    Does this mean everyone who is selling t shirts, cups, etc. with their names on them must take them off the shelves.
    They can just redo the names... Sara Palin, Bristle, Sarah Pain...

  7. Anonymous2:19 AM

    Won't the Palin brand become worthless well before they are trademarked? I thought with all the revelations due to break, their future as celebrities would be over.

    If she is not finished as a politician, or serving jail time, after the Babygate & McGinniss books are published and the Shailey Tripp story hits the mainstream, I will quit paying any attention at all about the Teflon Tundra Turd.

  8. LoveAndKnishesFromBrooklyn2:31 AM

    Hey Gryphen, all you have to do is use one "TM" after the first mention of PrincessNotSoBright(PatPending)'s full name in your posts, and that should legally cover everything. It should also be good for a hearty laugh at the ludicrousness of it all.

    Of course, the creative "handles" are MUCH more fun!

  9. Anonymous2:46 AM

    Bristol looks horrible with her new plastic face. Guess she is hiding her lies behind that mask, how disgraceful.

  10. Anonymous2:48 AM

    These women are just simply "stupid". You can't fix stupid. Like mama, like daughter; two uneducated fools who lie every time they open their mouths.

  11. Anonymous3:10 AM

    How much is their trademark going to be worth in the future? The value is dropping like a rock.


  12. Anonymous3:45 AM I'm getting really mad with these losers from Wasilla - the half-term grifter and her spawn! I can only imagine who else might now be mad enough to blow the lid on all of Sarah's lies.

    And I'm wondering, well Bristle told the story of her getting pregnant on the camping trip, are we to assume that was pregnant with Tripp? I'm thinking Trig!

    Poor Bristle! She had such an opportunity to be a good person and she has chosen to follow in the footsteps of her mother!

    I am hoping Willow will be smarter as Track has been and will avoid anything related to Sarah!

    Goooooo Levi and counter-punch that annoying mosquito Brisle!

  13. angela3:59 AM

    This is how everyone should know Palin is an unserious joke. I need a list of presidential candidates who have trademarked their names? Maybe Newt has . . . .Very telling. Its all about the money, always has been.

    Of course she stole a trademarked name for her clown bus tour--so she is a hypocritcal joke.

  14. Anonymous4:26 AM

    You can't trademark stupid, Sarah!

  15. FloridaDem4:26 AM

    Elected officials, or politicians who are running a campaign cannot trademark their images, so that's just more evidence that Sarah doesn't intend to run or knows she can't win if she does.

  16. A trademark doesn't make it illegal to criticize these two bimbos. It simply protects their brand as it relates to goods and services associated with their names. Even if they listed pathological lying as one of their services, you could still use the trademark in a comparison ("Congress is quite good at lying, but Sarah Palin is considered to be the gold standard in that field."). It will protect them from infringement like somebody making dog poop perfume called Sarah Palin. I don't know how it affects Sarah Palin impersonators. I imagine as long as the impersonator states that it is an impersonation act, then it is fine. I'm just guessing on that though.

  17. Trademark? Oh, no. There goes my plan to make $10,000,000 by selling Sarah Palin™ life-sized inflatable dolls to old fat horny white male Tea Partiers – and yes, I do realize that every adjective before “Tea Partiers” was redundant. My product would have included a special “North Star Valve” (incorporating Sleep Number® bed technology) to allow for the separate inflation, to taste (I’m a “47”), of the patented Quitter Queen™ breasts. Just like the real Sarah Palin™ breasts.

    But seriously, Gryph, while neither you nor I may be allowed to sell Quitter Queen™ dolls, your first amendment rights will continue to allow you to discuss the fact that public figure Sarah Palin IS an inflatable doll.

    I do wonder – and have wondered since first hearing about the trademark thing – if Sarah herself somehow believes that trademarking is going to allow her to control the use of her name in the media? Is this why she’s stalling about entering the race? Is she waiting for what she incorrectly believes will be prayer-shield level protection from the LSM?

  18. Anonymous5:04 AM

    They think they can control the media with a trademark on their names? What arrogance.

    Not going to work. It won't hold up in court. Yes, they have trade mark names. It just means you can't call birth control pills Bristols pistols or something of that nature. But, since both are very public bimbo's er 'figures', then you can talk about them in print.

  19. Chenagrrl5:39 AM

    Here's how trademarks work with The Brand's beloved mainstream press.

    When referring to them directly the name must be spelled correctly with proper punctuation and capitalization and used to refer to the actions or behavior of that brand.

    If this doesn't happen, the trademark sends a kindly letter stating its status and reminding reporters and editors of its trademark.

    The word Realtor, for example, must be used to refer only to members of the National Association of Realtors -- not to the unwashed gang of people who sell real estate. Membership is a matter of paying dues and not skill or talent. Since it is nearly impossible to tell whose dues are up to date, good publications edit out Realtor, and edit in real estate agent.

    It is a strange position. The organization wants the name to be seen as a generic, but protests the "improper use." It keeps the NAR lawyers in BMWs and cigars, however.

    Since Mrs. Palin and her daughter have held themselves out as public persona, it's not clear to me how the trademarks would work. Maybe it would be only in connection with their commercial enterprises. As their stars dim this could give way to ludicrous situations.

    Would they go after babies named Sarah or Sarah Palin or Bristol or Bristol Palin?

    Dear Mrs. and Mrs. Jones,
    This is to remind you that the name Bristol Palin is a trademark of BP Enterprises. You are directed to immediately cease referring to your toddler as Bristol.

    Not sure how this translates online. The site appears to be for sale.

  20. emrysa6:00 AM

    you know it's pretty funny, because no one even has to use their names anymore.

    just say "the quitter" and "the chin" and everyone knows you're talking about.

  21. Anonymous6:22 AM

    "I am beginning to believe that Levi is not the father to any of Bristol's babies but just a paid escort on Sarah's campaign to nowhere."

    I'm thinkin' you hit the nail on the head. Bristol didn't know who the father was....good sign that she was promiscuous. Maybe she heard she 'got the johnson' and figured it must have been a Johnston. Where was Keith anyway?

  22. Anonymous6:39 AM

    >>>Since Mrs. Palin and her daughter have held themselves out as public persona, it's not clear to me how the trademarks would work.

    IS there any reason to think they understand trademarks?

    Got money?

    Got Lawyers?

    Got stupid ideas?

    That's all that is needed.

  23. WakeUpAmerica6:44 AM

    @1:40 your link doesn't work.

    All the trademark means, Gryphen, is that you can't sell Palin bobble-heads or inflatable dolls.

  24. The more difficult they make getting their names out there, the less they will be talked and written about; and the faster they will fade into obscurity.

  25. Anonymous6:54 AM

    These people, including Levi are a human version of herpes. They just won't go away.

  26. Anonymous6:57 AM

    Trademarking a name helps prevent cyberquatting, eg getting a domain name, or selling of goods eg Bristol Palin- panties, that come off easily and are sold with a wine cooler).

    They do not prevent anyone from mentioning the person by name, writing about the person on a blog, and so on.

    So no worries!

    It's in the Constitution.

  27. Ratfish7:08 AM

    "She awoke in her tent, alone, with no memories of what had happened."

    Then "she confronted him about their sexual encounter."

    You mean, the one she couldn't remember.

    Let me get this all straight. Bristol Palin, "self-described as a good girl and straight-A student," goes camping alone with a boy and a bunch of wine coolers, gets drunk, gets laid, and is surprised?

    No wonder her nose needed work- the lies were extending it.

  28. Anonymous7:16 AM

    I don't know much about trademarking but I didn't think that it keeps people from being talked about. (Libel laws do that and so far she hasn't seemed to find enough things that she can prove libelous in your blog.) So unless you plan to market Sarah and Bristol Barbie dolls, wine cooler sleeves or other camping accessories, I wouldn't think this affects you at all.

  29. Anonymous7:32 AM

    Although it's crazy that someone like Bristol even gets media coverage, I do I love the pictures that Politico picks for these two air-heads. It indicates to me that they are used for headlines only because of their antics not because of respect.

  30. Anonymous7:34 AM

    I hope her peers and others come out and say what a crock of lies Bristle is. Also-how pathetic of her to call the alleged father of her child names. What are you, four, Bristle?

  31. Anonymous8:02 AM

    Evidently you CAN trademark stupid, twice over no-less!

  32. Anonymous8:35 AM

    :-D Hee-hee! What a joke $arah is. She's done.

    What "politician" trademarks their name? The comedians will have a field day with this one, and I think it'll be great fun.

    R in NC

  33. Anonymous9:10 AM

    Poor Bristol. She looks so fake.

  34. Beldar Xavier Whifflemeier Conehead (tm)9:25 AM

    Time to trademark "The Screechy Wretch" so we can continue to conversate about the Awful One without having to pay a licensing fee.

    Better trademark "The Awful One", also, too.

  35. Anonymous9:31 AM

    The photo for this article shows Bristol's plastic work like no other I've seen. How can that person who calls herself that girl's mother
    look at her & not weep. there's something so wrong with

    Sharon TN

  36. Anonymous9:45 AM

    In the AP article it says: "Palin writes of being awakened early one morning in August 2008 by her father, Todd Palin. He gathered the kids, collected their cellphones and announced they were going on a surprise trip.

    The destination was Dayton, Ohio, where, the next day, Arizona's U.S. Sen. John McCain, the GOP presidential nominee, introduced his vice presidential pick and her family to the world."

    Well, so much for Sarah's lie that she called a family meeting and the kids all said "go for it, Mom!"

  37. Anonymous10:43 AM

    I don't think trademarking their names covers people writing about them. Remember, freedom of speech. I think it'll work toward the use of their image in selling products of the two of them.

    Suspect they'll be spending lots of time trying to frighten folks or say they'll sue them (as they always have before and haven't!) when they don't have a leg to stand on.

  38. Anonymous10:45 AM

    Bristol a straight A student! Wanna bet that never happened....and, of course, you probably can't get her grades from the high school she attended.

    She has become just like her horrible mother and it is sad, sad, sad.

  39. So, what does the trademark actually get them? I'm confused on the benefits. No one can write about them using their real names? Someone please explain. Thanks!

  40. Anonymous11:35 AM

    Bristol is full of shit about how her loss of virginity was lost. She was no good girl- not hanging out with April Morlock she wasn't. You'd have been shocked to see them both in MIDDLE school! Queen bees strutting their stuff. I can only imagine what they were like in high school.

    Teen sex is rampant here in Wasilla. Very accepted among the teens. I've lost count of how many school age girls I've seen pregnant over the last several years.

  41. Anonymous6:54 PM

    So can they essentially eliminate stories using her given name and prevent searchable links?? Talk about controlling the press!

  42. Sir Real8:33 PM

    Caption for the picture: "PALIN Attends Grand Opening of WASILLA WAX MUSEUM"

  43. $arah PayMe can't trademark this or the names you use for her because they appeared here first.

    Tee Hee.

    Trademarked like a prophylactic brand.

    Love it.

    And, Oh, Also, Too.
    Bristol's Vagina is still a clown car.

  44. @1:44AM:
    "...Levi confessed and left the Palin home..." (NYT)

    So both Levi and Bristol agree that Levi was living with the Palins.

    Sigh... Just another of $arah PayMe's lies exposed, SSDD.

  45. Anonymous9:22 PM

    Just wondering, if she should decide to run in 2012, how would the media refer to her? Wouldn't another name do her more harm than good?

  46. They're public figures. They cannot forbid the use of their names by trademarking them. For marketing purposes, yes. For reporting newsworthy information, no.

  47. Anonymous10:19 AM

    I don't know if this has been mentioned, but wouldn't the unintended consequence of trade-marking your name be that no one mentions you again? Wouldn't that just kill the The Grizzled One? HAHA -- PR FAIL.

  48. Anonymous12:11 PM

    She can trademark her name but she is still known as the "half-term quitter governor from Alaska".

    She is also known as "McCain's failed VP candidate from the 2008 election cycle".

    So from here on it...I will refer to her as "quitter" and "failure" and I'm sure everyone will know who I mean.

  49. Merry8:26 PM

    Sorry I'm late with this comment about trademarking. We think it means that someone cannot make and sell the Sarah Palin Combination Fish Drier/Smoker (a la George Forman's line), but if you had a line of bobble-head dolls, you could add one or both Palins to your line and be OK.
    It's hard to explain the difference between the two usages, but here goes. The fish machine could only be made and sold by Palin or someone she licenses.
    The bobble-head doll represents Palin, and one is not prohibited from reproducing and selling her likeness any more than someone is prohibited from reproducing President Obama's likeness. Neither he nor the Democratic Committee had much to do with most of the T-shirts. Ditto all the Kate and Will tea cups.
    Party on, Gryph!

  50. I just came across your blog thanks to the link at The Week. You have a reader for life!


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