Levi Johnston's book. Deer in the Headlights, or Boy Trapped Under Sarah Palin's Bus Tire? Part One.

I know I promised to write the review quite awhile back, but I have a good excuse for putting it off for so long.

I don't want to do it.

Not because it is a bad book. It is.

Not because I want to protect Levi. I don't.

And not because it is in competition with Joe's book. Believe me, it offers NO real competition.

No the reason I don't want to write a review is because to do so I have to reveal long held secrets that are only going to confuse the issue of Trig's parentage, Tripp's birth, and Levi's part in the Palin melodrama.

And because it might cause his sister, who I care about, and his mother, who I adore, unnecessary pain and confusion.  Though many of you believe that Sherry and Mercede are somehow in on the secret that Levi still seems to be protecting, I don't.

However I gave my word, so here goes.

As I mentioned before, much of the book deals with Levi's love of hunting, and his passion for hockey. Signifying that neither he, nor his ghostwriters really understood the demographic for which this book should have been written. The book is NOT good, but I have read worse.

But that is not to say that there are not portions that will prove of interest to those of us who wanted some inside information about what Palin and her family were like when they were not performing for the cameras or having their words ghostwritten for them.

Let's first address the portion that is of the most interest to the readers of this blog, shall we?

Sarah's pregnancy:

On page 51, Levi claims he got a call from Bristol in March of 2008, asking him to come over.  When he arrives, she tells him that Sarah is pregnant, apparently having just become aware of that fact.

Now as we know Palin's official announcement was on March 5th, 2008, yet on page 52 Levi says that the girls had noticed Sarah's weight gain, and that Willow had found a "Clear-blue pregnancy stick" in her mother's drawers.

So essentially we are expected to believe that the girls, who live in the same house with their mother (Though to be fair Sarah is spending a significant amount of time in Juneau, yet still coming to Wasilla quite often.), ONLY become suspicious that Palin is pregnant, and then find a pregnancy test to confirm it, during the same seventh month of pregnancy that she is in when she tells the whole world? Since the rest of the world found out on the 5th of that month, it only gave the girls four days in March to make their "discovery."

My, THAT is awfully convenient!

Also on page 52 Levi claims that "when he thinks back on it, maybe she did" appear pregnant "a little." But he claims that she "started putting around her neck this scarf-y shit that hung down the front of her" which apparently was enough to confound his eyes, which earlier in the book he claims are trained to pick up the tiniest of details from years of hunting in Alaska.

Okay let's back up a little here.

Apparently Levi is claiming that his girlfriend, who had witnessed her mother "with child" at least twice in her young life, did NOT notice that she was pregnant for SEVEN MONTHS, because she wore some "scarf-y shit?" Seriously?

Somehow I doubt that Sarah wore that "scarf-y shit" around the house, or while she was sleeping. Yet according to Levi, Bristol was shocked by the discovery that her  mom was pregnant in her seventh month. Sorry that does NOT make any sense.

However let me just add that I actually know exactly when Bristol learned of her mother's pregnancy.  And in fact it WAS in March of 2008. To be more clear she learned the same way that everybody else learned, by seeing it on television.

Now roll that around in your head a little.

Bristol Palin, who HAD to have seen her mother around the house quite frequently in various stages of undress, did NOT realize that she was with child until it was announced on television during her seventh month of pregnancy.

Now even if you did not know EVERYTHING that you know about this bizarre pregnancy story, wouldn't THAT little tidbit almost immediately make you suspicious?

Levi also addresses the rumors about Bristol being pregnant as having started back in 2006 while Bristol was in Juneau.

Interesting, except for the fact that Bristol was NOT in Juneau in 2006.

Sarah did not even start her term until January 2007, and Bristol did not move to Juneau until the spring of that year. How could he be off by an entire year? (Did NOBODY fact check this book?)

Levi also clears up the rumor that Bristol had Mono. She didn't. (Though actually Sadie cleared that one up quite awhile ago.)

He goes on to say that the family was not told that Trig had Down Syndrome until April, right before Trig was born. And that "she (Sarah) had been telling Bristol during the past month that her water was leaking once or twice a day, in drops."

Really?  She is supposedly leaking "water," sharing that information with her daughter, but NOT telling her doctor?

How do I know she was not telling her doctor? Because if she had, what do you think her doctor would have suggested?

She would have immediately prescribed antibiotics to fight possible infection, suggest she get lots of rest, and insist that she stay very close to a medical facility in case things suddenly progressed.

And I can tell you another thing, she would NOT have signed off on her patient taking a flight to Texas! That is for damn sure!

Trust me, there was NO water /amniotic fluid leaking.

Now also according to Levi Sarah called Bristol when she arrived in Anchorage, and told her that the "drops were pretty much constant." Levi says he went back to sleep and only arrived at Mat-Su Regional AFTER the baby was born.

"My heart went out to the delicate child. I picked him up, cuddled him

Also on page 54: Between the flight and the delivery (Which Levi did NOT witness), Sarah was pale, whipped. There'd be a help at home when she got there. A retired special-needs teacher had been lined up to care for the infant."

It's not in the book, but when appearing on the Joy Behar Show Levi revealed another heretofore unknown bombshell:

JOHNSTON: Bristol wasn`t pregnant at that time. And the only thing I could say, I actually showed up at the hospital probably four or five hours after she apparently had Trig. When she was in there she had you the outfit on. She was lying in the bed. She had the IV in her arm. On a blackberry, Trig was in there, Todd and all the kids. 

Now this is important, because Levi is the FIRST person, outside of Chuck Heath of course, who claims he saw Sarah in bed, and even adds the detail of the IV in her arm.

Did he actually see an IV, or was he instructed by someone to say he saw an IV?

Now here dear readers we have to make a choice.

Was Levi an unwitting witness to a charade put together to convince people outside of the family that Sarah had just given birth?  Or is he a willing accomplice helping to cover up what actually took place?

Sadly I think I have the answer to those questions. As well as to the questions of WHY Levi does not fight for his visitation rights with Tripp, why Rex and Tank did not sign up for the book deal I helped to put together in 2009, and why this book delivers nothing earth shattering even though Tank Jones used to tell anybody who would listen that what Levi had on Sarah Palin was "bigger than Watergate."

However before I lay all of my cards on the table I believe it would be instructive to examine what this book says about the NEXT bizarre pregnancy in the Palin household.

Coming soon! Bristol's odd, and very politically convenient, pregnancy with Tripp Johnston.