 |
| "Boo Greta! Hah, scared ya din't I? I love to see you media types shake in fear, it feeds the blackness that lives inside of me." |
 |
| "Now remember to stick to the agreed upon script this time. Last time you starting winging it, and my damn teleprompter did me no flippin' good!" |
 |
| "Oh and NO questions about the retarded boy either! We have made some phone calls and we think we have narrowed down who we left him with to one or three people. Pretty sure he's in Alaska, but don't quote me." |
 |
| "Why do you keep asking about Todd? He is not interested in you bitch. Besides he still has another year on his contract so I got his little doohickey locked up nice and tight." |
 |
| "Whoop,whoop! Oh my medications startin' to kick in. I got Rush to hook me up, so this is the real shit!" |
 |
| "Oh that's the stuff. Now Mama's got her 'Grizzly" on!" |
 |
| "Quick ask me how much I hate the President's plan on sumthin before it starts to wear off! Crony capitalism, common sense thinkin', lamestream media! I'm warmed up let's do this thing!" |
(P.S. Screen captures are from Palin's interview with Greta Van Susteren on October 18, 2011. This post was purely for comedic purposes and not meant to illustrate the TRUE preparation that goes into a Palin interview, thus no reference to sacrificing small woodland creatures or the drinking of chilled moose blood. Also there is no real indication that Palin uses a controlled substance of any kind, and in fact might simply be "high on hate." And finally there is no REAL evidence that Todd's "doohickey" is in fact locked up, or that one even exists.)
It looks like she put the wig on sideways that time. Someone should tell her that you can actually comb it sideways and you don't have to make it lopsided to get that look. Must be the drugs or else Piper is doing her hair now.
ReplyDeleteWow Gryph! Talk about "high on hate". All snark, no substance.
ReplyDeleteProofreading is your friend.
LMAO!!!
ReplyDeleteI see someone has been shopping at Norstrom's again. Everything so color coordinated. Wonder if she got the matching pumps and purse too.
ReplyDeleteI think this array of screen shots indicate she is under the influence of some sort of drugs, be it illegal or abuse of prescription drugs. Why doesn't her family do an intervention?
ReplyDeleteGryphen you amaze and delight me! Great post.
ReplyDeleteDamaged-goods dingbat Sarah Palin is so unpopular and forgotten these days that only Florida’s state GOP wants her around, at a trade-show rubber-chicken dinner, at Disneyworld.
ReplyDeletePalin has apparently accepted an offer to jabber for a few minutes in exchange for a platter of convention food and a bag of soiled dollar bills. But she’s not even the Star Attraction! According to the event’s flyer, printed out in Microsoft Word by a temp employee, evil cue-ball Rick Scott and one of his fake minions (“chairman Lenny Curry,” sure) are the actual headliners.
From TampaBay.com:
“This gala dinner comes just a year before one of the most important elections in Florida and the nation’s history,” said RPOF Chairman Lenny Curry. “Having a Republican leader of Governor Palin’s stature and importance is yet again proof of the crucial role Florida will play as the year unfolds. We are so grateful that Governor Palin has accepted our invitation.”
“So grateful,” meaning, “Herman Cain wanted two hundred dollars.”
http://wonkette.com/455035/sarah-palin-reduced-to-hosting-dinners-at-disneyworld
Lordily, that is some funny chit. You picked the best screen grabs.
ReplyDeleteThe portrait of a psychotic.
Holy shit, THIS was funny!
ReplyDeleteThis is why I love you, G!
"He ain't innerested in you, bitch!"- with that screenshot? Oh. my. god...
Freaking hilarious!
Let's NOT call Trig retarded. It cheapens us and helps to paint them as justified victims.
ReplyDeleteAhh democrats... keeping it classy.
ReplyDeleteThose are unbelievably hilarious pictures, Gryphen. Great for morning laughs!
ReplyDeleteHowever, I love how you are branching out more and more into other important topics that need to be dealt with so we don't have all Palin all the time. She is so yesterday, and I am beyond tired of her and her dysfunctional family.
She certainly looks as if she is on something!
ReplyDeleteShe sure wouldn't be much fun if she behaved herself; she'd be called "wooden" and "expressionless" like Romney (or "botoxed" like Kerry). But you'd think, in this much time in the public eye, and with her future apparently dependent on speaking engagements, she'd iron out some of those spastic tics and momentary possessions. And ditch the lip gloss and dangly chandelier ear boppers. Ooops, I forgot, she wants us to watch the show rather than absorb the message.
ReplyDeleteI know this will bring out the righteous wrath of all the Anti-Accuracy Anons (witness the immolation of the poster who pointed out that "feud" was misspelled "fued" in the cartoon) but you want "wear" instead of "where." The font is so small my brain doesn't want to process both microprint and homonym at the same time.
Tx!
Spot on! You and Ahem could do a routine.
ReplyDeleteAll you need is the little white hat, and the microphone and you got an EXACT replica of Nurse Ratched from 'Cuckoo's nest' telling the inmates in the day room that basically they're going to all get murdered if they don't settle down...
ReplyDeleteThen McMurphy's (Jack Nicholson) quote from the same film, seems to come just as Mama Monkey's meds kick in while on Cluster-Fox - "A little dab'll do ya".
The link from 8:20: http://wonkette.com/455035/sarah-palin-reduced-to-hosting-dinners-at-disneyworld
ReplyDeletewas used at Alaska WTF but he has better tags for it....
PS What the heck is going on with the hairline? There to the right, uncovered by "bangs," is that spray paint? In the interest of science, Dr. Gryphen, could you zoom in and see if there are any roots in there or if it's some kind of matte makeup for performers?
ReplyDeleteMaybe she can prolong her 15 minutes of fame by doing a Britney or Sinead. Heaven forbid that she should actually use her waning moments at the podium to, like, agitate for Special Needs Kids, Alopecia, or coming clean about all the crap she's pulled in her lifetime.
I just want to say that my mother had borderline personality disorder and I could always tell which way the wind was blowing by her lipstick--the brighter and slicker, the more "off" she was. When she was closest to herself, it was basic, subtle colors but when she was "off" it was slick, bright pink, coral or red, and heavily applied too, also. Others might have thought that was just what she liked to wear, but to the family, we knew........and it wasn't good.
ReplyDeleteWow, things are really taking their toll on her, her face is no longer pretty, but starting to reflect her real personality, and that's not pretty.
ReplyDeleteha ha ha ha! I can't stop laughing! Where do you come up with these great ideas?
ReplyDeleteAll that good ole grifting has truly taken it's toll, she's nothing but a punchline to be ridiculed and laughed at.
Please make these more frequently, This made my day! The captions, alone are priceless!
Hey 8:08...I love a good dose of snark. What proof do you have that there is no substance to these remarks? Sounds like you are an immature judging hater.
ReplyDeleteDid you miss the part where he tells us it is a joke or have you snorted so much cocaine off the top of a barrel with Sarah to be able to read and comprehend.
Seeing these pictures makes a person realize what a total bitch Sarah is..the nasty looks and superior demeanor. She has no clue that she is really is stupid, does she? She doesn't hear the words tumbling out of her mouth and realize they make absolutely no sense. Someone posted recently that her IQ is 83. I can't believe it is that high.
Yo, Gryphen, dat ol' hoochie is irrelevant.
ReplyDeleteI want to officially announce an amendment to previous statements I've made in order to reconcile my inexplicable enthusiasm for the presidential aspirations of Herb Cain with my intellectual acknowledgment that he is pathetically and irredeemably inadequate to meet the challenges of the campaign, let alone the job.
Hence forth, I will no longer use the HerbCain2012 middle name in my ID and will, instead use HerbCain2013. This reflects the reality that this man should achieve high public office ONLY in the event that the average daily ambient temperature in Hell reaches 32F or less.
Ok, carry on, Gryphen.
Anon 8:29 AM - Let's NOT call Trig retarded.
ReplyDeleteHis mother is the one who refers to him as retarded. WE call him Trig.
Looks like she shopped in the 'Toddler & Tiaras' Wig Department!!!
ReplyDeleteThe real hair 'fuzz' band that's showing to the left of the fake bangs!
The mental/chemical state?? It looks like my old just beyond 'peach fuzz' after chemo. Some heavy duty chemicals in use.
All those 'extensions' she used believing they made her look 'hot' for the old geezers! Looks like they had to cut them all out. How's that 'hotness' working for her now!! Looks like the Mack truck rolled in - the 'hotness' is gone but the tire tracks are evident!!
The Sarah Palin from Texas:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.parade.com/news/2011/10/23-rick-perry-hates-to-lose.html?index=1
What's the difference between a Hockey Mom and Goofy's wife? There is no difference, they are both fucking Goofy.
ReplyDeleteSarah is one of those tipsy women in bars who sit next to you and say, ¨I love you, no shit, buy me drink.¨
ReplyDeleteI won't be happy until the headline reads, "Palin hired has new greeter at Wasilla WalMart".
ReplyDeleteShortly to be followed by, "Former AK Governor arrested at area WalMart for solicitation"
In Tupelo:
ReplyDelete"Palin told of giving her life to Christ at a Bible camp when she was a girl. Her perspective on world affairs changed, she said, when she became a mother, a point she teased out in a speech delivered to almost all women.
She was reminded of scripture, Palin said, upon learning at age 44 that she was pregnant with her son, Trig.
"I laughed. I remember another Sarah who laughed, too," Palin said, referring Genesis 18:12, where the wife of Abraham laughs at the suggestion that she will have a child in her old age.
With clenched fists, an impassioned Palin said abortion is a great evil and that children, like Trig, who was born with Down syndrome, remind society how to be compassionate and loving."
Read more: NEMS360.com - Palin
Bitch doubles down again on Trig.
Her fame may have been fleeting, but at the Republican convention when she was nominated, when she came out and sneered, "The difference between a community organizer and myself as Mayor of Wasallah is that I had some respnsibilities," she set the tone for the next four years. Ever since that moment, a certain magical Unicorn has gotten no respect whatsoever. So say whatever you want about her, she set it all into motion with her jr. high school mean girl sarcasm.
ReplyDeleteBitch.
...still crazy after all these years & ALWAYS good for NOTHING but a laff...
ReplyDeleteThat's Mamma Grifter!
You're right, this has to be a joke. She prepares for NOTHING, and just wings things. She reads others' words from a teleprompter until she decides to wing it then we get primo word salad.
ReplyDeleteAt this point she looks like a zombie, the walking dead.
Happy as hell that this wahoo isn't going anyplace fast towards the White House. Imagine the disaster that would be...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dumpbachmann.com/2011/10/michele-bachmann-speaks-at-iowa-church.html
Gryph, Gotta wipe the coffee off my keyboard - spewed from laffing at your photo cut lines!
ReplyDeleteFYI: Andrew Halcro has a great piece on $arah called 'The Long Goodbye.' Can you reprint on IM?
You hit the nail on the head, great post, Sarah is going to think you bugged her "studio"
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail on the head, great post, Sarah is going to think you bugged her "studio"
ReplyDeleteROFLMAO!! I hope you do more of these. BTW, you might want to change "where" in your last caption to "wear."
ReplyDelete10:18..please don't make fun of Walmart greeters, ours is the sweetest 90 yr old lady, everyone gives her hugs ... absolutly not the Palin type, Sarah would drive the customers away.
ReplyDeleteAnon 10:55
ReplyDeleteFYI: Andrew Halcro has a great piece on $arah called 'The Long Goodbye.' Can you reprint on IM?
-----------------
Here is the link to Halcro's blog post that people can go read should they wish to:
http://www.andrewhalcro.com/the_long_goodbye
@ 10:18 -- Walmart
ReplyDeleteWow, how the mighty has fallen... for the bargain basement price of $14.96 you get "The Undefeated" (with "Going Rogue: An American Life" Audio Book) (Exclusive)
@SarahPalinUSA Sarah Palin
The documentary "The Undefeated" is on sale at Walmart in a special package deal with "Going Rogue." fb.me/1kD50s7Nl
21 Oct via Facebook
Retweeted by AsilisArt and 84 others
http://twitter.com/#!/SarahPalinUSA/
status/127476600416649217
She purposefully tries to look goofy. She fakes this smart-alecky, big-shot, I'm smarter-than-you-all persona; like some big oilman swaggering into a fancy restaurant, Stetson, cigar, talking louder than everyone else, or like the Blues Brothers walking into the fancy restaurant scene.
ReplyDeleteShe has no class, especially making all those silly faces; it's condescending and disingenuous. Every part of that woman is 100% fake.
My EYES, Gryphen!
ReplyDeleteOMG... MY EYES!
I'm with 9:39! Exposing the person who was almost (thanks to a severe lack of vetting) a heartbeat away from the nuclear codes, is vital. Nicolle Wallace has now said, publicly, that she based her mentally ill character on Sarah Palin.
ReplyDeleteI don't think she's yesterday's news. I think she should BE news, forever! Bush, Cheney and Rummy, too. So we never make the same, tragic, mistakes again.
And to those who may not get Gryphen's humor . . . better not watch The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Bill Maher, or listen to George Carlin.
LOL Good one Gryphen!
ReplyDelete"Also there is no real indication that Palin uses a controlled substance of any kind" ...
It's nice of you to say that about her but IMO, the ol' gal regularly indulges in something. "I AM in control! I get controlled substances down on the corner".
What used to be cutsie facial expressions (to some) are now just goofy facial contortions. BIZZARO. I still see a ventriloquist dummy when I look at her. I think it's the self-righteous-bitter-old-lady pursed lips and overly Botoxed face.
ReplyDeleteLet's NOT call Trig retarded. It cheapens us and helps to paint them as justified victims.
ReplyDelete8:29 AM
The post is done as if its Sarah speaking.Sarah is on the record as calling Trig-"The retarded one".
Read the posts and can't pass this one up.
ReplyDeleteAnon @10:18 quoted Sarah's screech in Tupelo
"Palin told of giving her life to Christ at a Bible camp when she was a girl."
30 years later, her oldest daughter also, too gave something up at a camp in the woods with the help of wine coolers. Love those family traditions!
"Her (Sarah's) perspective on world affairs changed, she said, when she became a mother, a point she teased out in a speech delivered to almost all women."
But we know that Sarah's perspective on ... "affairs" actually changed after a night of Glen Rice when she was madly running around screaming "I can't believe I f...ed a black man".
Gryph - you really should publish a book. It could be a compilation of all those "lovely" pictures you have of "Beautiful Sarah" with your very clever captions under each one. It would definitely be a best seller! It would probably out sell even Joe McGinnis himself! And what a great Christmas gift it would be to give to all our friends and relatives "on both sides of the aisle". Thanks for all you endure to keep the rest of us entertained and informed.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous said...
ReplyDeleteAhh democrats... keeping it classy.
******
Umm yeah, just like the Married w/children Gopr Gov caught with a CA rentboy?
That is classy? Thats Hypocrisy.
I swear she looks just like my grandma.
ReplyDeleteThanks for laughs Gryphen!
ReplyDeleteI can't stand to look at her anymore but with your commentary it was worth it. Nobody does snark like you.
AliCat
I would call Palin a has been but the problem is that she never was anything but a phony!
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing to see how much Palin has aged in three years. She is NO LONGER the attractive, sexual being she was!
ReplyDeleteShe belongs in part of the Disneyland show because she is utterly 'goofy'.
Aren't you all tired of this dominionist pathetic HO? She and Brystroll are just hidoeous biatches that have inflicted their juices on all of us! ENOUGH already!
ReplyDeleteShe looks like Rudy Giuliani in drag.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, if I had a herpes outbreak on my lips, I would be hard pressed to go show it off to the world. She is just one crazy ass,mean and nasty piece of work.
ReplyDeleteAll I want for Christmas is for her to go away. I thought it was happening sooner than later but she just keeps her skanky old ass out there. Guess as long as people keep giving her a platform, she will take advantage of it.
Someone should do a composite facial blending of Scary's face and an average ordinary woman of her age, and see who she would be without all the cosmetic stuff she does.
ReplyDeleteI am putty in your hands, Gryphen!
ReplyDeleteThe wigs just get more and more obvious. She might as well leave the price tags on them. I'm guessing they'd read $1.99.
ReplyDeletePurely inspired, Gryphen. Your best yet.
ReplyDeleteA longtime fan,
ericmiami
Her pinup bangs pretty soon will fall off her dumb tete.
ReplyDeleteThese screen captures are amusing and yes, they portray her as an unhinged Harpie, however they have proven to be ineffective in search of a common goal which is, of course exposing this charlatan for what she is and the Koch bros. or whomever for who they are.It is mind boggling that this transparent hustler has managed to survive for so long. We live in a country whose public education has been downsized and denigrated and fucked with by the religious right,well, don't get me started. I've dated some teachers.
ReplyDeleteWhen is she going to decide the roadkill on her head is ugly? Her looks have gone south in the past three years. Lies and dishonesty have a way of showing up in the face.
ReplyDeleteOT Sarah wore blue suede shoes for her speech in Tupelo because of Elvis. She is crazy.
ReplyDeleteOh yea.....wearing same socks for a week celebrating changing them by taking a shower. She looks just as one would imagine. No doubt serious substance abuse as many have pointed out. 'Cept they aint workin so well fer ya now are they Lu-Lu? No wonder everyone has moved out of state or to the garage. Hope Piper has taken refuge somewhere safe.
ReplyDeleteSo very often when I see her face, this is what comes to mind:
ReplyDeletehttp://img.comedyassistant.com/img/imdb/danacarvey.jpg
She looks like the lady (if you pull the camera pulled back) who would be wearing wine and ketchup stained sweat pants surrounded by 37 hungry cats.
ReplyDeleteThe snapshots are disturbing, the captions hilarious. Palin in a nutshell.
ReplyDelete@10:18 She was reminded of scripture, Palin said, upon learning at age 44 that she was pregnant with her son, Trig.
ReplyDeleteSarah Palin was born on Feb.11, 1964. Trig was born in 2008, when Palin was 44 years old. It is unlikely that she found out that she was pregnant after her Feb.11, 2008 birthday. According to "Going Rogue," Palin learned that she was pregnant when she bought a pregnancy kit in New Orleans. By the time Trig was supposed to be 10 or 12 weeks old, he was supposed to be have been diagnosed with DS.
So, Palin would have learned that she was pregnant when she was 43, not 44 years old. Palin has also had two different versions of Trig's birth: 8 months at MatSu or 7 1/2 in Anchorage. A mother doesn't get those kinds of details mixed up. A mother remembers to the minute when she learned that she was pregnant, when and where she gave birth.
"With clenched fists, an impassioned Palin said abortion is a great evil and that children, like Trig, who was born with Down syndrome, remind society how to be compassionate and loving."
ReplyDelete~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey Sare~
Is that your feeble attempt at separating yourself from the other umpteen lies you've spewed about the
immaculate birth of Trig? Yeah, it's obvious that he "was born with Down Syndrome" . . . but what I'm not hearing in your diatribe this time 'round is that "fire 'n brimstone lie of yours: "When I gave birth too Trig . . . yada, yada.
Placing distance between you and all those lies now would be a trifle too late, for we have video.
Roll the tape!
%^)
Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteAccording to "Going Rogue," Palin learned that she was pregnant when she bought a pregnancy kit in New Orleans. By the time Trig was supposed to be 10 or 12 weeks old, he was supposed to be have been diagnosed with DS.
Amniocentesis is usually done when a woman is between 15 and 20 weeks pregnant before then the only reliable test is chorionic villous sampling (which carries I much higher risk).
Have been pondering the middle-school/high school mentality assigned to Sarah and I'm starting to 'get it'. It has become apparent this is the situation with Sarah - and this is not good.
ReplyDeleteWasilla and the State itself did not have an adult in charge during Sarah's reign. People were fired, perhaps deliberate deaths, monies were misappropriated, children affected by a psychotic mother, a nation of fooled followers. VERY DISTURBING. Especially the thought of this 'girl/teenager' ready to bring in Armaggedon anytime someone pissed her off.
America escaped the Palin bullet but we must still remain alert to other ruthless monsters among our mist. I can say our safest bet with be with the Obama being re-elected, perfect he is not - yet better than any Republican war monger (such as Bush) in the most powerful position on the planet.
As I mentioned in a previous post, Palin is simply ENTERTAINMENT now, but still we must have our shields up because she is still financed by the right-wing corporate media and that is NOT a good thing.