Ted Nugent's pants prepare to receive a fear induced load, as the Secret Service arrives to "ask a few questions."

Today the Secret Service is paying the "Motor City Douchebag" a visit after Theodore got himself all excited on the radio and suggested he might break the law or eat a bullet if when President Obama wins a second term.

Here is the statement from the Secret Service:

A Secret Service spokesman declined to directly address whether the federal agency tasked with protecting the president would be meeting with Nugent. 

"We are aware of the incident with Ted Nugent, and we are conducting appropriate follow-up," said spokesman Brian Leary in a statement. "We recognize an individual's right to freedom of speech but we also have a responsibility to determine and investigate intent."

The visit was in response to this rather deranged episode of Theodore Anthony Nugent showing off to a room full of NRA supporters and radio listeners.

Now personally I think that the idea of Nugent suggesting he might off himself when Obama is reelected is the first real sign of patriotism I have ever heard him verbalize.  After all who doesn't think this country would be MUCH better off without him around?

However I seriously doubt that the Secret Service visit will result in any charges of criminal behavior.  Nugent is just one of those panty-waists who like to talk tough when there is no chance anybody will call their bluff  and kick their ass.

Actually Ted had the opportunity to put his skinny white ass on the line, and prove what a he-man he was, back in the 1960's by going to Vietnam to fight for his country.  But instead Theodore spent several days crapping himself (Which is the reason for the above headline) to get a deferment when his number came up in the draft:

(Nugent claims) that 30 days before his Draft Board Physical, he stopped all forms of personal hygiene. The last 10 days he ingested nothing but junk food and Pepsi, and a week before his physical, he stopped using the bathroom altogether, virtually living inside his pants caked with excrement and urine. That spectacle won Nugent a deferment.

Oh yeah, SUCH a man!

I have lived in Alaska my entire life, and these sorry excuses for manhood are fucking EVERYWHERE! You can usually spot them because they are wearing mismatched camouflage clothing, have a clearly mistreated dog chained to the bed of their pickup trucks, and a gun rack prominently displayed next to the Confederate flag in their rear window.

Not only that but their houses are full of animal heads, their refrigerators are full of cheap beer, and their wives are full of regret and thoughts of suicide. When you walk in you are not sure if you should laugh out loud, suggest counseling for his wife and kids, or bring him a pamphlet for surgical penis enhancement.

And speaking of wives, Ted also has yet another problem as revealed on the VH1's "Behind the Music:

"Ted spends the bulk of this program proving what a hypocrite he is. He lambastes drug users and alcohol drinkers, but repeatedly admits (without a trace of humility, however) to being a serial pedophile. Two relationships (one with his wife and one with “muse” Pele Massa, who was 17 when they started dating) were ended due to Ted’s infidelity while on the road, often with underage women."

Gee a guy who craps himself to avoid fighting for his country,  threatens to break the law or kill himself if his candidate is not elected, and preys on underage girls.

Is this REALLY the guy who Mitt Romney begged for an endorsement?

Why yes it is!

Well we know that Romney is a desperate politician who would sell his wife into white slavery to Donald Trump in order to be President, but surely there cannot be ANYBODY else who would allow themselves to be associated with such a vile human being. Right?

(Okay if you did not expect to see this last one, you should be ashamed of yourself.)

Personally I think we have discovered the PERFECT figurehead for the Republican party. After all this is an individual who has a fetish for war (But would never serve himself), makes threats of violence (But is too cowardly to back  it up), and takes advantage of the young, the vulnerable, and the undereducated.

So from now on, when you think GOP, think of this face.

Pretty much says it all, don't you agree?