|"Wait, how many people turned the channel? Over a million? Is that bad?"|
Apparently French was instructed to lay it on thick, but I think I can manage to translate it for you. ( I have a doctorate in Palin ghostwriter to English translation, don'tcha know?)
Courtesy of Brancy's blog:
I’m so happy that my new Lifetime reality show called “Life’s a Tripp” has finally debuted! I hope everyone enjoyed it. What did you think?(Please tell me it wasn't as bad as it looked! Please!)
I’ve heard many of you ask a similar question: why did I decide to do a reality television show? Well, in many ways, I’m just like everyone else. I’m a young woman trying to make my way in this sometimes complicated world. I’m a single mom, I work at a dermatology office, and I’m trying to fix up a house I bought near my parents’ house. ( I am nothing like you losers but I tried to play at being a "normal person" on TV and failed miserably. I am also hoping that no one picked up on the fact that, despite the title of the show, I seemed to only rarely spend time with my kid and that my body size and chin changed shape like every five minutes.)
When Lifetime approached me about doing a show (After my mom called everybody she ever met in Hollywood and finally talked somebody into producing it after I stole the idea from the Massey brothers.), I was a little hesitant. (I was anxious to finally have the show that I have been promised since I made that agreement with mom.) After all, what could possibly be entertaining about my life taking Tripp to and from hockey lessons? (Don't answer that!) Of course, life always contains unexpected twists and turns. And the Lifetime cameras – which I never got used to! (Apparently I don't have a "good side.")– caught a lot of little adventures on film. You’ve probably seen the so-called “bar fight” (We totally staged,) I got into after some guy called my mom a name? Well, the series will also introduce you to a charity I worked for in Los Angeles, will show you some of my good friends, and let you see how I really responded to Levi’s book. (And this last part is really the main reason for doing this show in the first place. Remember Levi sucks, and abandoned me and Tripp for some hot new piece of ass. And because I will never answer his calls or return his messages, he has NOT seen his son in a very long time, which is TOTALLY his fault!)
It was fun experience, and I’m excited about seeing it all unfold with you viewers at home. But I’ve already seen some of the footage, and I’ve learned one thing. (I was wrong, I look NOTHING like Kim Kardashian, and instead appear on television more like Jay Leno in drag crying through his menstrual cycle.)
It’s crazy to see your own life revealed on a screen. (Why didn't somebody tell me I looked like that?) While watching it, I realized that sometimes I didn’t respond quite right to situations. (I am a raving bitch on ice!) Sometimes I reacted too strongly, and sometimes not strongly enough. That’s why I’m going to do a weekly blog post every week called “On Second Thought.” These posts are where I will go over the episodes as I process the issues presented… and my thoughts on them now that I’ve seen them aired. (I will force Nancy French to earn her damn money and try desperately to explain that I am not insane, and that my cartoonish chin is really only the result of bad camera angles.) Expect the first one tomorrow!
Personally I think that forcing Nancy French to write a post after every show is a colossal waste of time. Considering how badly it bombed, and how few people will probably tune in for future episodes. it would probably be more effective, and less time consuming, if Nancy just called each of them on the phone and apologized profusely for the fact that they wasted precious time out of their lives watching Bristol bitch and whine about the fact that she was raised to never bitch and whine.
However I have to admit that I think THESE posts will be FAR more entertaining than anything that is actually broadcast on that unbelievably shitty show.