Wednesday, July 04, 2012

Spanking linked to mental illness.

Courtesy of Yahoo:

Researchers examined data from more than 34,000 adults and found that being spanked significantly increased the risk of developing mental health issues as adults. According to their results, corporal punishment is associated with mood disorders, including depression and anxiety, as well as personality disorders and alcohol and drug abuse. They estimate that as much as 7 percent of adult mental illness may be attributable to childhood physical punishment, including slapping, shoving, grabbing, and hitting. The study reports that spanking ups the risk of major depression by 41 percent, alcohol and drug abuse by 59 percent, and mania by 93 percent, among other findings. 

Now before you start becoming worried that you have damaged your children for life, the study does differentiate between the kinds of spanking they are talking about.

"We're not talking about just a tap on the bum," study author Tracie Afifi, PhD, of the University of Manitoba in Winnipeg, explained in a statement. "We were looking at people who used physical punishment as a regular means to discipline their children." However, the analysis excluded individuals who reported more severe maltreatment such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical neglect, emotional neglect, or exposure to intimate partner violence. 

"It definitely points to the direction that physical punishment should not be used on children of any age," said Afifi. Researchers concluded, "It is important for pediatricians and other healthcare providers who work with children and parents to be aware of the link between physical punishment and mental disorders." 

The physical punishment of children is legal in the United States, although it is banned in at least 24 other countries. It's worth noting that 19 states also allow corporal punishment in schools. Earlier studies have linked spanking toddlers to increased aggression in older children. Spare the rod, spare the child? 

And of course we cannot ignore that many of the families which engage in truly brutal forms of corporal punishment, do so with the blessing of their clergymen, who often quote the Bible to provide support for essentially beating the child into submission.

"Spare the rod, spoil the child," indeed. It should read "spare the rod, improve your parenting skills."

I must admit to that on occasion I myself DID in fact use corporal punishment as a form of discipline. It was quite rare, and it was always nothing more than a pop on the bottom, but my daughter remembers EVERY SINGLE INCIDENT, and will bring it up with very little prompting. And though we are very close, those few incidents remain a painful memory for both of us.

It has also been my job to work with very troubled children, where the use of ANY type of corporal punishment, shaming, or even the loss of certain privileges, were strictly prohibited. In my many years working with children I have learned a number of methods for behavior modification that rely on positive reinforcement and appropriate, non-punitive consequences which really work quite well.

They also require a great deal of patience, and I that is something that ALL of us could use a little more of in our repertoire. However I must say that the end result is well worth the effort.

I would much rather have a happy child that behaves poorly once in a while, than a well behaved child that is suffering from low self esteem and depression.

But hey, that's just me.

31 comments:

  1. Anonymous4:17 AM

    On the other hand, many kids seem to have too-high self-esteem, for no reason. Say NO to them and they cry and look shocked as if they've never heard the word.

    But, here is what I wanted to say: I was an out-going, rambunctious, curious and questioning kid...so before we went out, my mother said she'd spank me to quiet me down. I don't remember at all. Just seems funny now. My poor mother didn't know what to do with me. It probably only happened once or twice or I would remember it, right?

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  2. angela4:30 AM

    I am a proponent of "time outs".

    I got spanked as a child and I too remember each spanking as there were
    only a few. Interestingly enough, I only got them after having smacked one of my siblings. Hmmm. Violence begetting violence.

    When a child is misbehaving or a bit out of control at five or six and an adult can't use their brains, creativity and self control to deal with the situation without hitting the child---what will they do with an angry, surly sixteen year old who could hit them back?

    As children don't come with manuals I think everyone should take parenting classes. It is amazing what a little knowledge can bring forth.
    Maybe millions of healthier adults?

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    1. Anonymous6:28 AM

      Or they could just watch Supernanny. Her system of time-outs seems to be very effective.

      Delete
  3. Mixed feelings here; I came from a family that threw punches in frustration. Fortunately, there was no sexual abuse and there was no alcohol to fuel the anger. I think I got my act together fairly quickly, but my brother was a lonely asshole for many years.

    Now, my stepson had two parents fighting over his love and refusing to discipline him in any way. I tried, carefully, and his mother’s boyfriend tried to instill some boundaries, but my stepson has come within a hair of devastation several times because his parents feared the loss of his love.

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  4. I'm not trying to tell anyone how to raise their offspring but I admit it drives me crazy when I hear people parrot "spare the rod, spoil the child! spare the rod, spoil the child!"

    Biblical scholars who translated the original texts have said "the rod" actually refers to a shepherd's rod and staff- as in, spare the rod in GUIDANCE and direction as a shepherd keeps his sheep- spoil the child.

    It just makes me insane when I hear someone defend smacking the crap out of their kid with this overused and WRONGLY understood line of the Bible.

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  5. I saw this study discussed briefly on the news. It also noted that adults who had been spanked as children accomplished considerably more in life than those who had not. Certainly has been my experience.

    I also wonder if the lack of spanking in school could be linked to the fact that American children are last or close to last place in the industrialized world in every category? Having served on a school board and also having put two boys through the U.S. education "system," I can tell you unequivocally that there is a complete lack of discipline and a perfect understanding by all the children that the teacher can't touch them or MAKE them do anything they are not jolly-well disposed to do. Yes, yes, I understand that discipline does not equate to spanking, but taking that tool out of the teachers' armamentarium has made all the other techniques irrelevant.

    As an old friend - a county school superintendent and forty-year veteran of the education system told me several years ago, "Taking the paddle out of the schools is the worst thing that ever happened to education. You only need the it for one percent of the students, but the other ninety-nine know it's there."

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    1. keepintime12:52 PM

      Armamentarium?? Please. We ARE impressed that you know such big words. However, you make teaching young, impressionable kids sound like an act of war. In my book, that makes both you AND your "old friend" completely unfit to work with children. Now, perhaps a career in law enforcement...

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    2. I just can't agree although when I started teaching spanking was still OK. Today's children are exposed to so much violence, that spanking is just that much more. I admit I occasionally swatted my own child, but in today's world I can't, and don't, recommend it. Discipline, absolutely. Telling the child ahead of time the expectations and then very specifically praising the accomplishment of that expectation is wonderfully effective.

      Delete
  6. Anonymous5:17 AM

    SERIOUSLY???? That is nuts. BEATING a child could/will probably have a detrimental effect but a little pop on the butt has been used as discipline measure forever.

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  7. O/T a little but important.

    Re ACA Here's a great slideshow from HuffPo yesterday that explained a lot of the misinformation being put out by the GOP to prevent Health Care Reform from being understood by all who will benefit when it's implemented.

    Lies & Distortions of the Health Care Reform Debate (Slide Show)

    http://tinyurl.com/79oq6nv

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  8. Anonymous6:24 AM

    Do you have your secret agents stationed in Bristol Bay to keep an eye on the Palins?

    Is this where Willow will secretly have her baby?

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  9. Anonymous6:27 AM

    Spanking vs Non-Spanking debates always trouble me.

    I was never spanked or stuck as a child, and I've never spanked or struck my children. We were sent to our rooms for misbehaving, or grounded, and always given "the lecture".. but never had a hand strike us in anger.

    I've tried, but I cannot understand why someone would think that physically hurting their child would help them learn anything other than how to use violence to get their own point across.

    I've seen a parent, in a store, grab their unruly child by the arm, swat them on the butt several times, while the child's cries escalate, and pulling on the child's arm, as the child is wriggling to get away from the strikes... It breaks my heart. You know what my mom did when I acted up in a store? She quietly took me to the car and we went home. It didn't matter if no groceries or shoes or whatever was bought; it didn't matter if we left a half-full shopping cart in the middle of the store. We left and went home. Once we were home, I was sent to my room. Believe me, I can count exactly TWO times when that happened, and any other time I acted up... or even hinted at it... Mama gave me "the look" and said "now we can go home..." and that's all it took.

    When I had kids of my own, Mama once told me that if I tell the kids I'm going to take the toy away, or send them to their rooms, or unplug the TV for the week... I had to follow through. My kids can recall many times when we did without TV for a week (the whole family, not just the kids), but they have ZERO memories of a spanking. They also remember me taking them to the library to pick out a selection of books that would last them for a week of "no TV" (another tip I learned from Mama).

    So I guess it was the way I was raised... but when there are so many alternatives available, I still don't understand using spanking as a disciplinary measure.

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    Replies
    1. keepintime7:00 PM

      Your Mother was a wise soul who apparently taught her grasshopper well. You're lucky, and so are your kids.

      Delete
  10. I am a dog person. I love training dogs. Back in the day, training classes involved a 'choke' chain, a leash, and a lot of jerking. Then we found a better way...operant conditioning, otherwise known as clicker training. It's positive reinforcement. And what I've seen myself in my dogs is clicker trained dogs want to learn, they try new things and situations easily. They are confident. If positive reinforcement works in raising dogs much more effectively than harsh methods, why would we think it's a good idea to raise our children with harsh methods? Yes, children (and dogs) need discipline. But it need not be physical. As a child and then a teenager, I had more fear of having to "talk to my Father" (and disappointing him) than any swat I got from my mother for mouthing off or some other infraction. Just something to think about.

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  11. Anonymous6:53 AM

    6:27 Your post left a big lump in my throat and a long forgotten ache in my heart..you were raised by a true Mother, a wonderful human being and I'm so glad you know it. Some of us will forever bear the scars of violence and ignorance from our parents who themselves still bear theirs. But the cycle has ended with the young generation in our family. You are blessed.

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  12. cckids8:13 AM

    Very true. I was spanked as a child, for any number of normal, 3 -5 year old misbehaviors, and the only thing it ever taught me was to be afraid of my parents. And to not get caught.

    People need to understand that the root of the word "discipline" is disciple, or student. To discipline a child is to teach them to behave differently. To punish them is to, essentially, get back at them for misbehaving.

    So, when deciding how to handle your child's actions, you need to ask yourself, "Do I want to change their behavior? Or do I want to make them pay?"

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  13. hedgewytch8:46 AM

    I have been amazed at how well time outs work. (Or maybe I have an exceptionally well behaved kid?) Now that he's 8, he hasn't had a time out in over a year. We discuss the behavior and he gets a warning. If bad, then privileges get taken away. I've never spanked him other than a swat on the behind immediately after a severe infraction. I've threatened to "beat the living tar out of you if you don't behave!" and "I warm your butt for you so bad you won't be able to sit down for a week!". Both things said to me as a child, but the difference is, my kid knows I don't really mean it and just laughs at me and say's "sure you will Mom!"

    I remember though going to private school as a 1st grader and seeing the big wooden paddle hanging on the wall by the Principals office. I remember it well. My brother's would tell me horror stories about that paddle. Perhaps they were on the receiving end of it a time or two.

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  14. Corporal Beldar J Conehead8:59 AM

    Gryphen, I'm briefly turning off the Snark Machine to ask a serious question: is it your understanding that this damage from corporal punishment is irreversible? I'm not talking about egregious child abuse but too frequent or too forcefully applied spankings. Is there a stage in life where an adult can say "my parents punished me too severely as a child and it messed me up for a good long while, but I believe they loved me, didnt know any better and did they best could under the circumstances"?

    It's funny that you mention your daughter still recalls her few near-death experiences of being popped on the bottom. (Maybe that's why she calls you "Pop"?) I was almost never hit as a child but somehow they made an exception when I toppled a dresser over on top of a sibling. Big deal! The kid eventually pulled through, right?! But I vividly recall being chased around the house by a giant man wielding a leather belt while JFK led America deeper into the Vietnam quagmire. But I digress.

    If I ever have kids in the future, I publicly vow never to hit them. (turn Snark Machine back on) Unless they really deserve it. (turn Snark Machine off) But, seriously, no, I wouldnt.

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  15. Anonymous10:13 AM

    My father was physically and emotionally abused as a child in his youth (it was the German way - beat the crap out of the kids since they could walk). He is 85 now and still an angry, bitter man living his youth over and over again through his thoroughly screwed-up mind. He also severely abused his children and I, for one, will NEVER forgive, nor forget, his corporal punishment upon me and my siblings starting at the tender age of four. He couldn't break the cycle of abuse - ever.

    What is more horrifying, is to listen to him praise Sarah Palin and her family as if they were the most fantastic 'together' family on the planet. It makes it want to throw up every time he talks of them. How vile and disgusting - his obsession with Sarah herself. Pass the barf bag. I'm insulted to the max. As if the rest of the family, ESPECIALLY the females, are 2nd class citizens. Worse, he lives in Wasilla and calls family members in the Lower 48 to let them 'know' he's from Wasilla, home of Sarah Palin (but she's a 1st class citizen don't ya know). OMFG.

    With my own children, I've NEVER smacked them except a pat on the bottom when they were in their terrible twos. I am PROUD that they are now well-behaved young adults and academically, publicly, and physically excel in their chosen professions, which include the military (REAL combat), law enforcement, and architecture.

    There's genuine discipline and there's abuse. It's a fine line. However, repeating the cycle of abuse, in any form, is a no-win situation. My son in law enforcement says over 90% of criminals and their crimes are a direct result of bad parenting. I believe it. The ones that were NEVER disciplined at all and were allowed to 'run free' are even worse off. Add in lack of a basic education and bingo! - that's why our prisons are stuffed to the max.

    Nobody said parenting was an easy job. The fact is, parenting is the HARDEST job on the planet. People like the Palins are one of the WORSE examples of NEVER disciplining their children for their crimes against the public and private/public citizens including Sarah's constant criticism (defamation) of the POTUS - and they are associated with mysterious deaths and prostitution.

    Oh, cry me a river Bristol, Track and Willow. Piper, spoiled brat that you are, are next. Talk about BAD parenting and CRIMES committed - Sarah and Todd should be prosecuted to the max. I'd thrown in John McCain for good measure, spoiled Navy brat that he was too.

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  16. Anonymous1:54 PM

    My father slapped me across the face so hard it left finger marks and when I went to school they called the authorities. I was in 4th grade and had obviously said something that was smart alecky. My father NEVER touched me again. He was mortified that his behavior was the talk of the town.

    It was common practice to whack us for every minute that passed after the timer went off when we were supposed to be done with our evening chores, with a TWO BY FOUR that he kept on top of the refrigerator.

    We were spanked with our pant down, to humiliate and embarrass us in front of the family.

    My mother took after us with hairbrushes, wood spoons, anything she could get her hands on. She chased me up a tree that I wouldn't come down from for hours until my grandmother took her away.

    When we were little we used to put 'golden books' in our pants so when my dad got home and his job was to administer the discipline, we were protecting our little bottoms.

    When I didn't hang up my clothes, I was whalopped good and hard and my father took away ALL of my clothes and made me wear a navy skirt and white blouse (in a public school in 7th grade) for a month. I nearly DIED of embarrassment, and that was the point, to humiliate.

    My mother would spank us while saying each word to match the blow...'Don't (smack) you (smack) ever (smack)...etc.

    That was how it was growing up in the 50's and 60's in my family. We felt lucky since our neighbor's father used a belt on his kids and they had huge welts on their bodies for most of the time we lived near them. It was a common practice to 'punish' kids with physical violence.

    FYI, I suffer from depression and anxiety and require medication to keep my balance.

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  17. Anonymous6:21 PM

    Correlation is not causation. Keep in mind the spanker is usually the parent. The child shares half the parent's genes. Maybe the parent spanks because he has mental problems, and the child has mental problems because he inherited them from the parent.

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  18. Anonymous7:04 PM

    I absolutely do not believe in "beating" a child, but a swat on the rear is more of an insult than anything else.

    I have good friends who believe that spanking is absolutely barbaric and only teaches children to be violent. Their child was the worst behaved kid that I've ever been around in my life, until he was about 10 years old and after several years of counseling, time-outs, and every kind of New Age discipline. So I guess that eventually it worked............of course we were all very miserable until it finally did. This kid would routinely whack other children, and my own spanked kids never once hit another child.

    I don't know about this study....................on the face of it I would come to the conclusion that spanking was bad. However, I look at the results in my family, and compare it to the misery of the unspanked tyrant-child's family, and I don't think that I would do anything different.

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  19. I agree with this. I was constantly hit with belts, a horsewhip, switches and slapped in the face as welll as being choked, having my hair pulled, head slammed against the wall, had a gun waved in my face and my life threatened by my crazy alcoholic father and freaky mother. I was also sexaully and verbaly abused regularly. did it make me sick? You better believe it did and I spent the better part of my life trying to stand back up and recover. It caused me to try to kill ,myself on many occassions and struggle with deression an dother maladies including much physical illness most of my life. My parents both died by the tie I was thirty. I heard a line from a movie once that said that death ends a life, but not a relationship. this is so true and physical abuse is dsmaaging to children. Trust me, I know from which I speak.

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  20. My father was a very brutal man when it came to discipline. His favorite forms were either beating our bare legs with a belt, which meant pants were pulled down and large welts appeared, or sometimes we would have to stand in a corner with our hands over our head, at times for an hour or more. My father never showed us any mercy, nor any regret, only anger. I still have very bad feelings about the way my brother and I were treated, lots of anger for sure. I have suffered from depression for most of my adult life, have severe low self esteem, and anxiety. My brother committed suicide a month before his 20th birthday.

    From the time I was quite young I vowed if I ever had children I would not treat them the way I was treated. They have received spankings, but always for a specific transgression (lying or deliberate disobedience, for example), under controlled circumstances (never out of anger), and in a particular manner (over the parent's lap, fully clothed, and with a slipper applied 3 to 5 times on the bottom, depending on the severity of the "crime."). My children knew ahead of time exactly why they were going to be spanked, whereas with my father there were times when we had absolutely no idea what we had done. I've talked to my kids about this and they all agree that the spankings were rare and they hardly even remembered them. I do not like spanking, and view it as a "last resort" type of punishment when time-outs or other forms of discipline are not getting a child's attention. I can definitely guarantee that none of my kids were afraid of me or their dad. Very unlike the terror my brother and I felt if we sensed my dad was in one of his "moods."

    Bottom line, kids need to respect and have a healthy fear of crossing a line with their parents, but never fear the parent him/herself. It's to our children's benefit that we teach them how to behave properly in society. Not all children need to be spanked to get this point across, but some do need a stronger form of discipline.

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  21. An European viewpoint11:00 PM

    Words are not our friends here. This spanking described in the article looks more like thorough beatings to me.

    My problem with people who say any kind of hitting on one's child is bad - is that I've seen what psychological violence can do.

    It can destroy someone more thoroughly than physical violence, it leaves no tracks, and it's very difficult to identify, even from the victim's viewpoint. Basically it drives adult victims crazy, and nobody believes them. It should not be done on children. Physical violence is better in that, nobody can mistake it for normal behaviour when someone is being physically violent to you.

    I do punish my children for misbehavior in physical ways, just like I reward them for good behaviors in physical ways with kisses and hugs. I slap or give pats on the bum for some offenses (violence against a smaller one, refusal to get dressed or to come...) and they often comment that it doesn't even hurt - then I tell them that it's not intended to hurt, but to punish.

    I do not punish physically for very big offenses. I make a very big deal of them, I show how shocked I am, and over several days we discuss (parent and child) and devise an appropriate punishment - usually no computer, no sweets, no this or that for days or weeks - plus public apologies to the hurt party.

    I did sometime hit them stronger than usual in anger, and I still feel remorse about it. I did apologize later on. But I never did beat them. And I never used anything else than my hands.

    I'll know whether I did any good when they're grown-ups. Raising children is not an easily-figured job.

    Physical punishment has been forbidden in French schools for scores of years. Even as a pupil I never was hit by a teacher. We use time-outs - very effective in the classroom.

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  22. Anonymous11:33 PM

    As a new mother, I asked around for advice on discipline with my first child. So, going by the advice, I decided I would have to spank her when she lied about age three. So, I explained it to her, turned her over, raised my hand, and my arm literally went limp. It was an amazing feeling. My arm froze up! Right then, I knew it wasn't the right thing to do. From then on, I spoke to my children and explained in detail why they shouldn't do things. Discipline means teaching, not spanking.

    In my childhood, I got two spankings. I remember them, they weren't brutal or anything. I totally deserved them. I knew then and now, that it was the right consequence. Age 5- playing with matches. Age 6- opening mail from other people's mailboxes. My parents never swatted or spanked on a daily reactionary basis.

    I turned out to be a model student, and emotionally stable person. My children were high honor kids in school and most important, they are compassionate, wise human beings you would want on your team.

    Some parent say that their should be a division of sorts, like I'm the parent, you are the child, keeping boundaries. I didn't do that. My kids were/are my best friends. - Healthy fear was more like when you love someone so much, you don't want to disgrace or disappoint them..

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  23. Here's a little different perspective - appropriate under these circumstances,IMHO, but definitely not a "one-size-fits-all".

    http://youtu.be/I2aQtZGLr7A

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  24. keepintime11:01 AM

    Having been on the receiving end of both severe physical and psychological abuse in my life, I'm convinced of one thing. If you really and truly love someone, you are simply incapable of hurting them in any way. It's no more complicated than that.

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    1. An European viewpoint11:31 AM

      Sorry for your experiences keepintime.

      Actually it is a bit more complicated. You may hurt someone you truly love when you're pushed into the ropes - when you are so tired, though lack of sleep for instance, that you stop checking yourself and some small parts of your bad experiences do get out.

      Knowing that it may happen has made me sure never to let myself get too tired or too unhappy over anything.

      Delete
  25. Anonymous1:52 AM

    I think the spankings referred to in the original post were given too late and too leniently. Today's youth are becoming ferile and sociopathic. There is nothing wrong at all with a good bare-bottomed spanking, and it should be given early, and often. Too bad the current Spocker's can't see just how badly their concepts have backfired.

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  26. If it is done with love it can be a very profitable thing for the child. I don't believe in removing of clothes though. Also it only works up to a certain age. I don't believe showing pictures of an obviously violent parent is helping common sense and seems to be lumping all us loving parents who might spank into that category. This is most unfair.

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