Morality is not determined by the church you attend nor the faith you embrace. It is determined by the quality of your character and the positive impact you have on those you meet along your journey
Friday, January 18, 2013
I don't think I have ever seen a more accurate depiction of childhood in America today.
Gone are the imaginative romps enjoyed by yesterday's children.
Today's children are mesmerized by electronics. medicated into compliance, and tested to exhaustion.
I have high school music students, and between musical groups, sports, musicals and plays at school, required "service hours" in the community and studying, they barely sleep, let alone dream. Theya re thinking about college by 10th grade, and a lot of them have a major decided by 16. When I was 16, I wasn't even considering college, as no one in my family had ever gone, my dad worked a blue collar non-union job and my mom worked fulltime in an office to keep six kids in shoes and food. Plus, I never had to worry about being shot by the 'guard' at school.
People just want to give their kids options. I was put in dance at age 2 and became quite good. But at age 10, I was like, "you know, this isn't actually fun." I wouldn't say I regret all that dancing because it gave me friends. As long as the person is happy in the moment, I say do whatever you want. But when a parents relies on medication to create the life they want for themselves AND their child, that's when one has to examine things.
So, I'd say, keep putting the little Abbys of the world in dance or art at age 3 and put the little Tripps of the world on hockey teams at age 4. Kids won't do things for long if they don't naturally like it.
People need to think less and do more, but throughout the process, look at the situation with fresh eyes to see if the kid is having fun. I've actually never seen a kid go against a hobby. Maybe it's just because I surround myself with great people.
I think it is a shame that children are frequently so programmed that they do not have time to play, simply play or read a book or daydream. While dance or music lessons are wonderful there has to be a balance so that children have time to soak it all in - in their own time and without the scheduling that rules their lives more and more. The boy in "Calvin and Hobbes" whom I loved was a child who had a wonderful imagination and who spent a lot of time running around outside. He was obviously extremely bright but was not overbooked and over scheduled by his parents. I miss that Calvin and his buddy, Hobbes. Beaglemom
I used to play outside in all kinds of weather (northern Minnesota), in my mother’s house foundation plantings (hollyhocks), in her garden (everything), and with the farm animals. By the time my daughter and stepson came along, they were carefully restricted within the house while we worked. I don’t know the solution here.
I don't know how to contact you..so I am here. This is a great post on Tawd. http://theperilsofpalins.wordpress.com/2012/12/29/have-you-seen-tawd-dang-2/
It's an accurate depiction of ADHD kids on meds. Sadly, to be successful in society, it is often necessary. If ever we create charter schools that cater specifically to the gift of ADHD, our country will surpass all others. ADHD kids are not meant to sit and follow all the other kids. They are often more intelligent and more creative than others, and yet they often feel stupid because they have so much trouble in a traditional classroom with 30-35 kids and one teacher.
This is a result of our present school system. It is built on the Henry Ford model.
It is designed to provide the minimum education to assembly line workers at the cheapest cost. Hence the class sizes of 30 or more, the curriculum, the standardized tests, etc.
None of it is designed to nurture free thinkers or creativity. That would take a lot more money and a redesign of the system.
No one is willing to spend the money or do the work to do that.
But they demand the current system produce those inventors, free thinkers and creative minds anyway.
Multiple intelligences.
If you're not a visual learner in our current school system, you struggle. Sometimes you even fail. Sometimes failing is the best thing that could happen to you because you can get out and do it a different way, a way best for you. Too often, however, there is no place for these "failures" to go.
I spend time around lots of kids from all ages, different school systems and varied cultural and religious background and this is not the case for them. But much of that is due to the fact that their parents encourage them to be active, balanced and healthy. They aren't drugged, they are physically and emotionally active, and brimming with imagination. They are clever, quick, deep, creative, funny, curious and openminded. They are kind and considerate, sympathetic and empathetic. But, again, I believe that this is due to their parental (and teachers) influence.
So this blanket statement you're making, Gryphen, is inaccurate. Sure, there are those that fulfill your example, but to condemn ALL children in this country the way you are is off base.
Is that how children are in Alaska? Is that how the kids you spend time around are? Numb? Lifeless? Uninspired? Unmotivated? So sad if that is what you only see.
Odd, I was just having a discussion with someone, over how hard it is to walk the narrow little fencetop of either being "adult" and all cynical about life...or the danger of being too naively open to fantasy and magic, and getting pissed on, and falling off on the other side.
This is very chilling. Wow. I agree with it, though. There is way too much pressure going on with kids today and don't even get me started on the medicating of our children. Sad.
With Tiger Moms and helicopter parents, some kids lives are so regimented they don't even get to enjoy summer vacation.
School used to get out 1st week of June back in the 50's and 60's. It seemed like it lasted for a year, even if it was only 11 weeks.
I would get up and have breakfast, then get together with a group of friends and ride bikes all over our small city. We'd head to the pool, a river, go fishing and swimming, play baseball, and sometimes we'd get up to no good.
By that I mean something like egging a car or scaring people by riding too fast on the sidewalk.
I did have a paper route a few years, but that only took a couple of hours to finish.
When school was in session, we didn't have 2 hours of homework every night in the 5th or 6th grade either. Many nights we'd have nothing at all, and could enjoy life.
It boggles my mind that Kindergarteners have homework these days. I remember a few at home projects. But it's KINDERGARTEN. ALL you do is play, color, learn to write and read level whatever of phonics and take a 45 minute nap. GAH People need to chill.
There's a difference between living an unstructured life with no real care about the future or bettering oneself independently and being a robot who think one, regimented way. HS graduation, college, meet future partner in college, internship, graduation, land cushy office job for the man, get engaged 5 months later, have elaborate wedding, have first baby by 26, have second by 28 just in time for 10 yr reunion, move to a more pleasantville atmosphere.
It's that or the MANY communities where people start families at 18-19 and basically go about the same milestones as above.
And "artists" are called frivolous. Happy is doing what you love, with no regrets, and living to impress no one but yourself. Haters ARE gonna hate, especially if THEY have regrets and are jealous creatures.
@Anon 8:18: when I went to kindergarten in the late 1960s, none of the neighborhood mothers worked but kindergarten was full-day. We took naps, ate lunch and had snacks all while spending a full school day in the classroom. There was never any homework.
Where I live now, in the south, most mothers work but kindergarten is "half-day" (short of half a day, actually--2 hours and 15 minutes a day) and the kids come home with 2 hours of homework a night (I wish I was making that up). Why not just have school all day? Because (as the stay-at-home mommies shriek), full-day kindergarten is "free babysitting" (that wasn't the perception back in the 1960s).
The transition from color (make believe) to black and white (reality) emphasizes the point he's making. It's a sad commentary, and I wish it wasn't true, but it's reality to a lot of kids.
Here's a little something to lift your spirits; the antithesis of Lance Armstrong: http://beforeitsnews.com/alternative/2013/01/ivan-fernandez-anaya-true-sportsmanship-display-video-2539556.html
I was a curious kid with a wild imagination. I'm glad that I grew up before drugging children became fashionable. I'm glad that I had parents that would have protected me if "The Man" had suggested that I would be easier to control in a chemical playpen.
I think we coddle kids far too much. Dangers haven't overly increased, but the perception of dangers has. I was born in the middle 80's and grew up in the 90's; probably the last of the free kids. In summer I would see mum in the morning (she's a teacher so same time off) and then I'd return again at 6 that evening for dinner. That wasn't an issue but children now aren't allowed to do anything!
And I was targeted too. I just knew how to deal with it. A man tried to convince me to get in his car but I flatly refused, and simply reiterated the directions he asked for in a loud voice (we were in a desolate enough area that no one would have heard but I tried anyway). That's all you can do. Teach your kids to do the right thing and even act it out with them. Tell them to run scream and shout if the person persists. What is NOT a solution is wrapping the child in cotton wool and not allowing them to cross roads, ride their bikes, walk to the corner shop for a frozen coke or icecream, walk to the nearest pool or friends house. When you do that you're robbing your child of the responsibility to grow up and be responsible for themselves, and robbing them meanly of that really quite magic childhood experience of the wind whipping thru your hair and that fun sense of adventure. I grew up on the edge of a city in a semi rural suburb and it was wonderful. It's how all children deserve to grow.
Well...could I get some of those pills for my son? He is in middle school this year and things are just not going well. He got A's the first quarter but is now down to B's, and that is with a LOT of pushing from his parents. He wants to do the bare minimum, isn't focused, his work is sloppy and he takes no pride in it. He comes home from school and it takes him a long time to finish his homework because he doesn't focus and starts playing Minecraft. We argue constantly with him and can't seem to resolve this. We are afraid it will only get worse as he gets older and school gets more demanding.
Oh my god, people like you should never have had kids! What an awful parent you are! Stuff your perfectly fine child with drugs because they are going through their inconvenient teenage years? Typical lazy idiotic person - just the sort of idiot who have popularized this turn to drugs - doing whatever is easiest instead of actually dealing with the issue at hand and maybe looking at your own hand in perpetuating the problem!
I can't believe you wrote those words thinking that was ok. You, whoever you are, are a terrible, terrible human.
Make a schedule. He does his homework as soon as he gets home from school. When it's complete, he's free to do whatever he wants until bed, be that TV, minecraft or whatever.
And don't over schedule his life with soccer and music lessons and other crap. He needs some free time, even more than you do.
This is a product of American competition and the increasing helicopter parent style.
It's not enough to allow our children to be children. We must plan and manage their entire days so that they have no free time to just be children and learn to play. No wonder we are having trouble producing innovative thinkers. When I was young we'd make up our own games, create toys out of whatever was lying around. Now it's all handed to them.
There is also this aggressive need to compete to be number one in everything. That has driven the education deform (reform) movement. Standardized testing is only an indicator, not the root cause. We are taking away our children's creativity, curiosity and imagination with this drive for more, better, faster, higher, longer. They must read at an earlier and earlier age, master math, science better, faster. There is no longer any room for art or music or dance or just plain fun in school. No school assemblies, unless they are motivational or instructional. No field trips at all. As the money tightens up it just be justified and the only justifications left are STEM and testing.
Half the political spectrum did this and the other half allowed it to happen. For their own selfish reasons, none of which had anything to do with what was best for our children.
I have only 4-6 years until I retire. I'm doing what I can to put the fun back in education. I've moved from the classroom to the library so that I have free rein to teach what I feel they should know instead of what politicians dictate they must learn. But I have a feeling near the end of my career I'll also be forced into the 'mandatory box' or I'll just find my job has been eliminated as no longer necessary.
In case none of your have been paying attention regarding common core...it emphasizes the reading of non-fiction books. That's right. They're even taking away the fun books and stories.
How miserable it will be to be a child in the coming decades.
School year 06-07 was the year I realized I could walk down the halls of the school and not hear one child laugh. Keep up the good fight; I hope your job isn't eliminated. Librarians are becoming endangered.
I have high school music students, and between musical groups, sports, musicals and plays at school, required "service hours" in the community and studying, they barely sleep, let alone dream. Theya re thinking about college by 10th grade, and a lot of them have a major decided by 16. When I was 16, I wasn't even considering college, as no one in my family had ever gone, my dad worked a blue collar non-union job and my mom worked fulltime in an office to keep six kids in shoes and food. Plus, I never had to worry about being shot by the 'guard' at school.
ReplyDeletePeople just want to give their kids options. I was put in dance at age 2 and became quite good. But at age 10, I was like, "you know, this isn't actually fun." I wouldn't say I regret all that dancing because it gave me friends. As long as the person is happy in the moment, I say do whatever you want. But when a parents relies on medication to create the life they want for themselves AND their child, that's when one has to examine things.
DeleteSo, I'd say, keep putting the little Abbys of the world in dance or art at age 3 and put the little Tripps of the world on hockey teams at age 4. Kids won't do things for long if they don't naturally like it.
People need to think less and do more, but throughout the process, look at the situation with fresh eyes to see if the kid is having fun. I've actually never seen a kid go against a hobby. Maybe it's just because I surround myself with great people.
I think it is a shame that children are frequently so programmed that they do not have time to play, simply play or read a book or daydream. While dance or music lessons are wonderful there has to be a balance so that children have time to soak it all in - in their own time and without the scheduling that rules their lives more and more. The boy in "Calvin and Hobbes" whom I loved was a child who had a wonderful imagination and who spent a lot of time running around outside. He was obviously extremely bright but was not overbooked and over scheduled by his parents. I miss that Calvin and his buddy, Hobbes.
DeleteBeaglemom
wow, this is so sad
ReplyDeleteI used to play outside in all kinds of weather (northern Minnesota), in my mother’s house foundation plantings (hollyhocks), in her garden (everything), and with the farm animals. By the time my daughter and stepson came along, they were carefully restricted within the house while we worked. I don’t know the solution here.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how to contact you..so I am here.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post on Tawd.
http://theperilsofpalins.wordpress.com/2012/12/29/have-you-seen-tawd-dang-2/
It's an accurate depiction of ADHD kids on meds. Sadly, to be successful in society, it is often necessary. If ever we create charter schools that cater specifically to the gift of ADHD, our country will surpass all others. ADHD kids are not meant to sit and follow all the other kids. They are often more intelligent and more creative than others, and yet they often feel stupid because they have so much trouble in a traditional classroom with 30-35 kids and one teacher.
ReplyDeleteThis is a result of our present school system. It is built on the Henry Ford model.
DeleteIt is designed to provide the minimum education to assembly line workers at the cheapest cost. Hence the class sizes of 30 or more, the curriculum, the standardized tests, etc.
None of it is designed to nurture free thinkers or creativity. That would take a lot more money and a redesign of the system.
No one is willing to spend the money or do the work to do that.
But they demand the current system produce those inventors, free thinkers and creative minds anyway.
Multiple intelligences.
If you're not a visual learner in our current school system, you struggle. Sometimes you even fail. Sometimes failing is the best thing that could happen to you because you can get out and do it a different way, a way best for you. Too often, however, there is no place for these "failures" to go.
That is what we really need.
I spend time around lots of kids from all ages, different school systems and varied cultural and religious background and this is not the case for them. But much of that is due to the fact that their parents encourage them to be active, balanced and healthy. They aren't drugged, they are physically and emotionally active, and brimming with imagination. They are clever, quick, deep, creative, funny, curious and openminded. They are kind and considerate, sympathetic and empathetic. But, again, I believe that this is due to their parental (and teachers) influence.
ReplyDeleteSo this blanket statement you're making, Gryphen, is inaccurate. Sure, there are those that fulfill your example, but to condemn ALL children in this country the way you are is off base.
Is that how children are in Alaska? Is that how the kids you spend time around are? Numb? Lifeless? Uninspired? Unmotivated? So sad if that is what you only see.
Odd, I was just having a discussion with someone, over how hard it is to walk the narrow little fencetop of either being "adult" and all cynical about life...or the danger of being too naively open to fantasy and magic, and getting pissed on, and falling off on the other side.
ReplyDeleteBut its worth the effort.
So sad...
ReplyDeleteThis is very chilling. Wow. I agree with it, though. There is way too much pressure going on with kids today and don't even get me started on the medicating of our children. Sad.
ReplyDeleteWith Tiger Moms and helicopter parents, some kids
ReplyDeletelives are so regimented they don't even get to enjoy summer vacation.
School used to get out 1st week of June back in the 50's and 60's. It seemed like it lasted for a year, even if it was only 11 weeks.
I would get up and have breakfast, then get together with a group of friends and ride bikes all over our small city. We'd head to the pool, a river, go fishing and swimming, play baseball, and sometimes we'd get up to no good.
By that I mean something like egging a car or scaring people by riding too fast on the sidewalk.
I did have a paper route a few years, but that only took a couple of hours to finish.
When school was in session, we didn't have 2 hours of homework every night in the 5th or 6th grade either. Many nights we'd have nothing at all, and could enjoy life.
It boggles my mind that Kindergarteners have homework these days. I remember a few at home projects. But it's KINDERGARTEN. ALL you do is play, color, learn to write and read level whatever of phonics and take a 45 minute nap. GAH People need to chill.
DeleteThere's a difference between living an unstructured life with no real care about the future or bettering oneself independently and being a robot who think one, regimented way. HS graduation, college, meet future partner in college, internship, graduation, land cushy office job for the man, get engaged 5 months later, have elaborate wedding, have first baby by 26, have second by 28 just in time for 10 yr reunion, move to a more pleasantville atmosphere.
It's that or the MANY communities where people start families at 18-19 and basically go about the same milestones as above.
And "artists" are called frivolous. Happy is doing what you love, with no regrets, and living to impress no one but yourself. Haters ARE gonna hate, especially if THEY have regrets and are jealous creatures.
I can relate, that pretty much describes how I grew up, and I remember my grandmother bitching with my mom because she worked outside the home.
Delete@Anon 8:18: when I went to kindergarten in the late 1960s, none of the neighborhood mothers worked but kindergarten was full-day. We took naps, ate lunch and had snacks all while spending a full school day in the classroom. There was never any homework.
DeleteWhere I live now, in the south, most mothers work but kindergarten is "half-day" (short of half a day, actually--2 hours and 15 minutes a day) and the kids come home with 2 hours of homework a night (I wish I was making that up). Why not just have school all day? Because (as the stay-at-home mommies shriek), full-day kindergarten is "free babysitting" (that wasn't the perception back in the 1960s).
The transition from color (make believe) to black and white (reality) emphasizes the point he's making.
ReplyDeleteIt's a sad commentary, and I wish it wasn't true, but it's reality to a lot of kids.
Here's a little something to lift your spirits; the antithesis of Lance Armstrong:
ReplyDeletehttp://beforeitsnews.com/alternative/2013/01/ivan-fernandez-anaya-true-sportsmanship-display-video-2539556.html
There is still good in this world.
And there are the other children that some want out of sight and out of mind...SP what say you???
ReplyDeleteRead the full story --> http://ow.ly/gWHjU
I was a curious kid with a wild imagination. I'm glad that I grew up before drugging children became fashionable. I'm glad that I had parents that would have protected me if "The Man" had suggested that I would be easier to control in a chemical playpen.
ReplyDeleteI think we coddle kids far too much. Dangers haven't overly increased, but the perception of dangers has. I was born in the middle 80's and grew up in the 90's; probably the last of the free kids. In summer I would see mum in the morning (she's a teacher so same time off) and then I'd return again at 6 that evening for dinner. That wasn't an issue but children now aren't allowed to do anything!
ReplyDeleteAnd I was targeted too. I just knew how to deal with it. A man tried to convince me to get in his car but I flatly refused, and simply reiterated the directions he asked for in a loud voice (we were in a desolate enough area that no one would have heard but I tried anyway). That's all you can do. Teach your kids to do the right thing and even act it out with them. Tell them to run scream and shout if the person persists. What is NOT a solution is wrapping the child in cotton wool and not allowing them to cross roads, ride their bikes, walk to the corner shop for a frozen coke or icecream, walk to the nearest pool or friends house. When you do that you're robbing your child of the responsibility to grow up and be responsible for themselves, and robbing them meanly of that really quite magic childhood experience of the wind whipping thru your hair and that fun sense of adventure. I grew up on the edge of a city in a semi rural suburb and it was wonderful. It's how all children deserve to grow.
Well...could I get some of those pills for my son? He is in middle school this year and things are just not going well. He got A's the first quarter but is now down to B's, and that is with a LOT of pushing from his parents. He wants to do the bare minimum, isn't focused, his work is sloppy and he takes no pride in it. He comes home from school and it takes him a long time to finish his homework because he doesn't focus and starts playing Minecraft. We argue constantly with him and can't seem to resolve this. We are afraid it will only get worse as he gets older and school gets more demanding.
ReplyDeleteOh my god, people like you should never have had kids! What an awful parent you are! Stuff your perfectly fine child with drugs because they are going through their inconvenient teenage years? Typical lazy idiotic person - just the sort of idiot who have popularized this turn to drugs - doing whatever is easiest instead of actually dealing with the issue at hand and maybe looking at your own hand in perpetuating the problem!
DeleteI can't believe you wrote those words thinking that was ok. You, whoever you are, are a terrible, terrible human.
Dear clueless.
DeleteIt's adolescence, not a medical condition.
Leave him alone, you're only making it worse.
Nothing counts until high school anyway.
Make a schedule. He does his homework as soon as he gets home from school. When it's complete, he's free to do whatever he wants until bed, be that TV, minecraft or whatever.
And don't over schedule his life with soccer and music lessons and other crap. He needs some free time, even more than you do.
This is a product of American competition and the increasing helicopter parent style.
ReplyDeleteIt's not enough to allow our children to be children. We must plan and manage their entire days so that they have no free time to just be children and learn to play. No wonder we are having trouble producing innovative thinkers. When I was young we'd make up our own games, create toys out of whatever was lying around. Now it's all handed to them.
There is also this aggressive need to compete to be number one in everything. That has driven the education deform (reform) movement. Standardized testing is only an indicator, not the root cause. We are taking away our children's creativity, curiosity and imagination with this drive for more, better, faster, higher, longer. They must read at an earlier and earlier age, master math, science better, faster. There is no longer any room for art or music or dance or just plain fun in school. No school assemblies, unless they are motivational or instructional. No field trips at all. As the money tightens up it just be justified and the only justifications left are STEM and testing.
Half the political spectrum did this and the other half allowed it to happen. For their own selfish reasons, none of which had anything to do with what was best for our children.
I have only 4-6 years until I retire. I'm doing what I can to put the fun back in education. I've moved from the classroom to the library so that I have free rein to teach what I feel they should know instead of what politicians dictate they must learn. But I have a feeling near the end of my career I'll also be forced into the 'mandatory box' or I'll just find my job has been eliminated as no longer necessary.
In case none of your have been paying attention regarding common core...it emphasizes the reading of non-fiction books. That's right. They're even taking away the fun books and stories.
How miserable it will be to be a child in the coming decades.
And no, it won't put "American on Top" either.
School year 06-07 was the year I realized I could walk down the halls of the school and not hear one child laugh. Keep up the good fight; I hope your job isn't eliminated. Librarians are becoming endangered.
DeleteElizabeth 44