I cannot say that I share too many of Louis's trepidations about being a parent, but I do share the fact that on some days I could certainly do a better job at it.
And yes, when you become a REAL father and not simply your wife's assistant, you become a much better parent. Sadly I was forced to do that after a divorce, but I have confidence that married men can do that as well.
They just have to want to.
For myself, I simply cannot conceive of life without fatherhood.
ReplyDeleteI do not know where I'd be. I do not know who I'd be.
I do not like to think about it.
The B.
I can't conceive of a life with MY father.
DeleteMy mother was more than he could ever dream to be.
And... Happy Father's Day to all you GREAT dads out there!
I was talking about being a father.
DeleteThis was about Father's Day.
Good luck with your bitterness.
The B.
The B., one should be able to rejoice about being a father, and still have a compasionate ear for the luckless people who had either non-entities or monsters for fathers, for whom Father's Day is a yearly painful remember of what they never had.
DeleteYour answer to Anonymous 3:21 was uncalled for.
Take care Anonymous 3:21, you're not alone. Hopefully you'll be a better father to your children, or you'll give them a better father - although you won't be able to do that without lots of therapy. Best of luck.
I copied it to my facebook timeline earlier.
ReplyDeleteNo, I am not a father, but I relate, as my husband and I raised our kids "gender neutral" (i.e. there are no boys' or girls' chores, there are just things that need to be done) in a time when that was not the norm. I am a mother and grandmother who knows that none of us are perfect, don't walk on water (and if we did, we would smell rather rancid) and we should all promise to do the very best we can, swallow the mea culpa pills when we fail and carry on in our duties to the next generation and, if we are old enough, to the generation beyond. That should surely sum up a life well lived, no matter the difficulties and screw-ups alone the way.
Oh, I don't know, Gryphen. You seem to have done a pretty good job of it with your daughter! I mean, look at what she did at 4 (father's day card you posted) and what she is doing now. A person doesn't hit that level of creativity without SOME sort of help!
ReplyDeleteSo, why were you your wife's assistant anyway? How did that happen?
ReplyDeleteI married a wife who was so type-A that she needed 2 assistants. Then we must've had a budget cutback or something, because I got canned and assistant #2, unbeknownst to me until that point, inherited all of my duties like paying most of the bills, cutting the lawn, doing house chores alongside my wife until they were all done, and all that stuff. But it happens everywhere, I've heard, and he's a better assistant that I ever could've been. Fortunately, those staffing decisions were made before any chirrens come along, so I found a better biz/life/family co-CEO, and life has been great ever since. Not every day has been perfect, but every day with wife #2 has been a great day to be alive.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, we parents can be our own worst enemies. The thing I learned from my husband about good parenting was "Never hesitate to admit you made a mistake to your kids" It shows them that you're human and it's ok to make mistakes if you learn from them.
ReplyDeleteHappy Father's Day to all the IM'ers!