Nova Scotia parents upset that school has done away with celebrating Father and Mother's day in deference to changing family dynamics.

Father's Day card made by my daughter when she was little.

Courtesy of Global News:  

As any parent knows, sometimes trying to do right by everyone in a delicate situation can lead to further complications. 

Astral Drive Elementary school, in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia has landed in such a predicament. 

To keep pace with the changing composition of its’ families, the school decided to forego Mother’s Day and Father’s Day activities, in favour of “Family Day”. 

But, many families in Cole Harbour don’t like the new policy. 

More than 400 people have signed a petition, demanding the school re-instate Mother’s and Father’s Day activities (which usually consist of school-children making crafts and cards to bring home). 

One of the petition leaders, Heather Bruce, is a single mother, who says the change is disheartening. 

“My son, this year was the first year in six years I didn’t receive a card from him because there’s no-one else telling him that that it’s Mother’s Day. Those things are important to teach our kids. To honour, respect their parents and they get that from school, sometimes.” 

Her 11-year-old son, Ben, says he agrees. 

“I’ve been doing it since I can remember. I’ve done it all the years in school, so, it’s really important to me,” said the grade five student, as his mother watched encouragingly in their living room. 

The catalyst for the change was a female student, whose parents are lesbians.

Okay now on the surface this may seem like a clear indication of how gay marriage, or families with only single gender parents, are somehow negatively impacting traditional families. But I would contend that in fact this is a good thing, and that the change should have happened years ago. But not because of anything to do with gay couples, but rather due to the changes in traditional families that have been evolving for decades. 

When I was a boy of only five my parents got divorced. This was in the early sixties and I was convinced that I was the only child that this horrible thing had ever happened to.

In those days there were all kinds of opportunities in school for salt to be rubbed into my gaping emotional wound. There were projects that dads helped their children complete for the science fair. Family nights where the kids proudly showed off BOTH of their parents. Christmas plays where the audience was packed with proud mothers and fathers. And of course Father's Day when we were expected, nay forced, to produce a glorious piece of artwork dedicated to our wonderful fathers.

A wonderful piece of artwork that in my life had nowhere to go, dedicated to a man whose face I could barely remember.

Sure a few times I gave it to my mom, only to watch her eyes mist over and to receive one of those heartbreaking hugs that really comfort neither of you.

Most often I threw it away, and once in a truly awkward moment I gave it to a male teacher, who took it with eyes that looked just as watery as those of my mother's.

One day, in the third grade, and rebelled. I got up and threw the art supplies onto the floor. And in a flood of uncorked emotion I began to throw a rather impressive fit.

In those days there was no patience with such behavior, nor any interest in discovering the source of my uncharacteristic anger. So I was dragged down the hallway, kicking and screaming, to the Principal's office. And there I received my first and only beating at the hands of a public school employee.

I learned my lesson. I put the cork back in the bottle and kept my emotions contained like a good little robot.

When we wrote papers about our fathers I made him into a hero, knowing all the while that it was a lie. When we dutifully made our Father's Day cards I even put glitter on mine, knowing it was destined for the school trashcan the minute we left the classroom. And when we had parents night I just "forgot" to mention it to my mother because I knew she was be too exhausted from working two jobs to support us to attend anyhow.

I only wish that in those days SOMEBODY would have recognized the pain I was going through, and of course so many others, on days when we had to pretend that we were living the lives depicted on "Leave it to Beaver," or "Father Knows Best," or hell even "The Brady Bunch."

And that pain had nothing to do with gay parenting, it just had to do with the fact that some of us did not fit so neatly into the boxes that society always seems so determined to cram us into. And that was over forty years ago, imagine how many more children just like myself there have been in the decades since then.

By the way that card up at the top of this post was made by my daughter when she was only four. She made it at home, it was totally her idea, and she required no public school teacher to guide her.

Because you know we can really always make cards for our loved ones, whether they be single mothers, gay couples, single fathers, or even grandparents raising us in place of our absentee parents, any time we want. We don't need to do it under the judgmental eyes of a bunch of elementary school children either, but if we DID make them there, wouldn't it be nice if the activity were presented in such a way that it did not make anybody feel odd or left out?

I think that is all that Astral Drive Elementary school is trying to do. And in my opinion, that's a VERY good thing.

Update: Oops I almost forgot to show you the inside of that card.

That's my baby!