I actually got jumped in a bathroom when I was in elementary school (The very first time I ever used my new martial arts skills in a fight) and to THIS DAY if somebody walks up behind me my bladder shuts down like somebody just flipped a switch.
My second wife used to like to have conversations with me while I was using the restroom, I would try to wait politely, but she wouldn't take the hint. So eventually I would get frustrated, at which point I would yell "there will be no peeing until the talking had come to an end!"
Same thing happens in parking lots. You park far away from everyone, just so you don't have some jerk park next to you and bang his door into your car. You come out and some asshole has parked right next to you. I don't get it.
ReplyDeleteI don’t mind when mothers bring young and not so young sons into the Ladies Bathroom, and that’s why!
ReplyDeleteOh, you fellas! Gryff, I have learned not to number my exes cause it ain't nobodies business. Numbering just makes 'em wonder how many.
ReplyDeleteThat's the room where Bristol looks for new baby daddy's.
ReplyDeleteThe same thing happens on the train. A whole frickin car can be open, yet some yahoo on the phone sits next to or behind me.
ReplyDeletethere's actually a term for it, pee shy. I live in a house full of men who could care less , unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteVirginia Voter
I've always heard it referred to as Bashful Kidney.
DeleteI've had this same (why the urinal right next to ME?) experience, many times...the two most memorable being in Vancouver, B.C., when it was Tommy Chong; then at the 2004 Oscars, with it being Peter Jackson.
ReplyDelete(Neither one being someone easy to ignore.)
I suspect there may not be any real thought behind such a move...that possibly its a subconscious thing of assuming the first person there, scoped out the best part of the room to do his business.
It's the flocking instinct.
ReplyDeleteWalking down the street, parking, bathrooms; it happens in all of them. *sigh*
OMG, Gryphen, this make me laugh so hard!
ReplyDeleteWhat did people call their penises and vaginas eight centuries ago?
Cat's meat, thatched cottage, cartsue case, jam, quim-whiskers, front parlour, whopper, percy, doover, swanska, jamoke, jolly bean, donniger... these timelines tell you the nicknames of your intimate parts from 1250 to today.
Depending on what era you live in, a penis might be known as a plough, a pillow prick, a jigglestick, or a jasper, while a vagina might be a fly-trap, an oracle, a catch 'em alive-o, or the antipodes. Brush up on your historical slang with a pair of genital charts.
TimeGlider created these timelines from Green's Dictionary of Slang by Jonathon Green. The Vagina Chart stretches back to the year 1250, which is when the first recorded instance of the word "cunt" appears and then lists the appearance of subsequent vaginal nicknames by month and year. The Penis Chart starts in the year 1300, with the first appearance of "ballocks" and goes on from there.
http://io9.com/two-timelines-of-slang-for-genitalia-from-1250-through-1157205966/1159378516
Well! How did I ever manage to live all these without this? -:)
DeleteI agree with hrh... this is a superb addition! I will cut 'n paste to send to my British cousin and her husband. Good show, old chum!
DeleteOne of the phrases I did previously know was to "point Percy at the porcelain"--what Gryphen was trying to do before he was so rudely interrupted.
I also used to live in Vancouver, and one of the public buildings on Main Street had the small over-sized jockstrap shaped urinals (you guys know the ones I am talking about)that FACED EACH OTHER. That's right - you would have to use them facing directly into the guy using the other. What sort of exhibitionist designed that bathroom, I will never know.
ReplyDelete