A 12-year-old girl was found hanged in her bedroom with a note saying she wanted to be with her dad in heaven.
Maria Kislo was left devastated by the loss of her father, Arek, who died after suffering a sudden heart attack in 2009.
The tragic schoolgirl was found by her distraught mum Monika, 35, who had gone upstairs to read her a bedtime story.
Maria, from Leszno in Poland, had left a short note, which read: "Dear Mum. Please don't be sad. I just miss daddy so much, I want to see him again."
There are some who argue that there is no harm in believing in the promise of heaven, of a life eternal after this one has ended.
But then again, sometimes there is.
(H/T to the Friendly Atheist.)
Such a sad story and way too common. My sister's partner was killed in an untimely MVA, The first 3 days after were horrible...she wanted to die. We put her under 24 hour observation. I tried to explain that when you're dead, that's it...you're dead. There is nothing more. That didn't work.
ReplyDeleteSo, I changed tactics. I said killing yourself is a 'mortal sin' according to some religions and you wouldn't end up together anyway....assuming he went to Heaven, she would end up in Hell.
Eventually, she got better and was able to deal with it.
It's one reason suicides are not broadcast or reported on. They're contagious, especially with teens.
What, she didn't use a gun? I thought guns cause suicide?
ReplyDeleteIn fact, depression causes suicide, or hopelessness.
guns don't cause suicide, they facilitate it.
Deleteits a form of suicide one does not come back from, nor can one change their mind at the last second
That is just sadness beyond words. My heart is breaking for her mother and all who love her.
ReplyDeleteBelieving in nonsense is not harmless.
ReplyDeleteThose who can be made to believe absurdities, can be made to commit atrocities. -- Voltaire
DeleteThank you, Randall..... there are times when nothing more needs to be said.
Deletepowerful stuff ..
ReplyDeletepoor kid - even moreso her mom ..
... sadly, I agree...
Deleteif you haven't seen it Gryphen, watch the film, "The Rapture" by Michael Tolkin. it follows religion to its logical conclusion.
ReplyDeleteNo, the problem isn't that the child believed in heaven. The problem is that she needed therapy after the death of her father. I'm sure that her bereft mother will regret not having sought help for her daughter; it's possible that she also needed therapy and support following her husband's death and did not know that it was available.
ReplyDeleteBeaglemom
Well said Beaglemom. I agree completely. This is terribly sad.
DeleteAn atheist
Religion would have you believe that you don't need therapy, just more religion.
DeleteA close relative of mine committed suicide after her spouse was killed in an accident. She was an atheist, so didn't expect to see him on the other side -- she just couldn't go on without him.
ReplyDeleteSo it works both ways.
As far as this poor child is concerned, being Polish, she was probably raised Catholic, as Poland is a very Catholic country. Catholics are taught that killing yourself is most definitely a mortal sin, and if you die with a mortal sin on your soul, your next stop is hell.
For that reason, I find this story a little hard to believe.
they don't really push the suicide = mortal sin thing anymore.
DeleteSuicide hasn't been considered a mortal sin my the RCC for at least 30 yrs.
DeleteI was brought up w/those teachings. Don't practice the faith anymore and haven't for years. I remember too that if someone committed suicide they would not be buried in the Catholic cemetery. Wonder if that has changed?
Delete3:43
Deleteyou think the distraught little girl considered that ?
seems not ...
The Catholic Church most certainly does still consider suicide a mortal sin under most circumstances. It allows for some wiggle room for people with diminished capacity. But a kid growing up in a very Catholic country like Poland is going to get full-on Catholic brainwashing.
DeleteThat is so sad, it breaks my heart. From the article it says she didn't exhibit any symptoms of depression and so didn't get the treatment she needed. It's hard to know why this little girl hid her feelings but my guess would be she was protecting her mom. What a tragedy for this family. My own experience with depression makes it hard to believe she didn't exhibit some kind clues that were overlooked. My illness started in my late teens so I have no reference of how a child of this age would experience depression and grief.
ReplyDeleteThis really hits home for me. It was my thinking of committing suicide and that got me to search within myself to find out what I really believed about the afterlife. Ultimately it lead me to being agnostic. My new thinking about my life, that the here and now is most likely all there is, is ultimately what saved me from doing it. Before this soul searching I thought anything would be better than the torture of my depression and heaven seemed like a great place. I felt God would understand my decision so I didn't have thoughts about it being bad. Basically, I believed (and still do) that suicide is just dying from depression as you would die from cancer. I'm bi-polar and was resistant to the meds that they were giving me. I couldn't work and struggled to keep my friends and remain social. Every outing was pure torture to get myself up out of bed to try and fake it through the day without breaking down in front of people. After fighting this big dark depression for years on end I couldn't take it anymore. I was done trying to exist in a world where I felt so horrible. A horrible dark place that only people that had experienced it could imagine. Fortunately in the last year, my doctor was able to find a new combo of drugs that have helped a great deal and have enabled me to not have to fight so hard against it, but I still struggle some days. I am thankful to be out of the woods and I'm hopeful, with therapy, I can now pick up the pieces and make something meaningful out of my life.
And I was fortunate to have great HEALTH INSURANCE and some great doctors that helped in keeping the hope alive that they would find the right combo of meds.
So yes, for me, it was dangerous to believe in the afterlife as a solution to my depression.
I am so sorry 4:02. I know nothing about depression or wanting to commit suicide. I'm happy your doctor has finally found the correct combination of drugs to assist you in your current and future life.
DeleteAnd, I sincerely wish you happiness in your life! It truly can be wonderful!
@4:29,
DeleteThank you so much for your kind words and for reading my story! It's hard for people that have never suffered depression to understand it and it's the kindness and compassion like yours is what is needed for people that do. My hope for my life now is that I can help raise awareness and volunteer my time to the cause. Thank you again!
4:02 Thank You for sharing your experience. Each of us takes our own journey in life. I lost a cousin to depression, schizophrenia and a rare type of latent Epilepsy. After his mother passed, he stopped taking his meds, refused to continue therapy, and ultimately killed himself.
DeleteOther relatives spoke of it as an act of cowardice, which I dismiss totally. It wasn't him killing himself, because his illnesses made it impossible for him to be himself. He was a gentle person who would cup a fly and release it outdoors instead of swatting it or using spray. I'm just sorry he didn't get the help he needed.
I'm glad your journey took you to a better place. I wish you the best life has to offer.
Depression is an illness and should be treated with whatever type of therapy is effective for that particular person. If someone was diabetic, no one would question giving them the correct medication for their condition. Why is it so hard for people to accept that some people need medication and/or therapy to help with an emotional illness?
Delete4:02 - I'm so glad you've been able to finally find something that works for you and can find some peace in your life.
I wonder if this little girl actually DID exhibit some symptoms of depression, but the family was too overwhelmed themselves to realize it.
Such a tragic story for everyone involved.
This poor little girl didn't exhibit the symptoms because she didn't have them. I don't believe her mother's story.
DeleteAnita,
DeleteThank you for your kind words! I’m so so sorry your cousin lost his battle with mental illness and Epilepsy. Schizophrenia is especially hard to treat and a terrifying cruel illness. I’m so glad you dismissed your relatives that were saying he was a coward. So many don't understand but I glad you did.
BTW, I always enjoy reading your comments, you're quite the character!
Peace be with you.
What is wrong w/our world today? We are hearing more and more of suicides by kids/teenagers, killings w/guns (some accidents) as to young children and teenagers, and murders and suicide by the killer as to teenagers and adults - all w/guns!
ReplyDeleteSpeaks in many ways to the lack of respect for life! Where are children and teenagers (when intentional) getting all their ideas?
Fits in w/all the hate that is currently being spewed on our wonderful President Obama. It ALL is so painful to watch!
All our children and teenagers see is disrespect, hate and anger on TV - and killings if they play the video games.
I'd turn off TV in my house if I were raising kids today. Swear to God! I'd get them so damned busy w/sports and activities - outside camping, playing w/friends, playing real games (that many of us grew up on!) and sharing good family time together - at the dinner table for home cooked meals, etc.
I have grown children and now grandchildren and thank God they are all doing well and learning about life being there to enjoy - about goal setting - loving school - communicating - laughing and knowing they are loved and supported!
So many kids today just need simple things that can come from family members and friends which include love, support, direction and learning to be responsible at whatever age level they are at. We ALL can watch kids around us and extend our hands and arms to them often.
Sorry for the rant! I really am concerned!
I work in an elementary school in a medium size city and hear all too often that my students are watching movies and television shows or are playing video games that are much too mature and violent for their age. They seem to forget sometimes that, unlike a movie or a game, where the person who is hurt or killed is just pretending, doing the same thing to a real person has some very dangerous consequences. They also spend so much time alone with their computer or tv screens that they forget how to interact with other children.
DeleteI realize that many of the parents in our school need to work more than one job to support their families but these kids are left to fend for themselves way too often and at a way too young age.
I feel so saddened to read of this child's needless death. We need to teach people, especially kids, about ways to cope with unresolved grief. We, as a society, are doing everyone a huge disservice with how we deal with death and dying. Euphemisms like "He's not dead, he's asleep" "She passed on/away" "He's with Jesus" etc etc. does more harm than not saying anything at all.
ReplyDeleteThis child may be alive today if she had a grief counselor. When my dad died (and I was in my Forties), I slipped into a depression and gave up my will to live. If my husband didn't find a grief counselor, who explained exactly why I was depressed and how to cope, I doubt I could have pulled through.
I wish all who love her healing, support and peace.
Your words are so very gentle and sympathetic Anita. You are so right with grief counselling. It needs to be acknowledged.
DeleteThis story turned out to be a hoax.
ReplyDelete