"Doomsday Prepper" planning last stand against the Federal government, decides instead to turn himself in for some burgers and fries.

Martin Winters.

Courtesy of Raw Story:  

The two-day manhunt for a Florida man ended Wednesday morning at the FBI office in Tampa, when 55-year-old “doomsday prepper” Martin Winters surrendered to authorities. According to the Tampa Bay Times, a wet, footsore and weary Winters gave up his freedom for the promise of some dry shoes, Gatorade, a couple of cheeseburgers and some French fries. 

Winters is the head of a group known as the River Otter Preppers, survivalists who believe in hoarding weapons and supplies ahead of an apocalyptic event foretold in the Christian Bible’s final book, the Book of Revelations. (Oh they sound like a fun group.) An undercover FBI agent infiltrated the group and spent months building a case against Winters, who the agent said was planning a bloody, heavily-armed “last stand” against law enforcement officials. 

“We’re glad to report that Mr. Winters did the right thing,” FBI spokesman David Couvertier told reporters. “We were hoping for a peaceful resolution, and today we got that.” A federal grand jury handed down an indictment two weeks ago naming Winters and five others on charges of designing and building destructive devices without a permit and other charges. Winters invoked his right to remain silent on Wednesday when he appeared before Magistrate Judge Thomas Wilson. 

Authorities attempted to apprehend Winters on Monday, but he fled the scene, prompting the offer of bounty money.

"Give it up Feds, you're never going to take me alive! Hey, are those fries I smell?"

If the real Founding Fathers, for which men of this sort express such admiration, had been this easy to lure into captivity we would all be drinking tea, referring to each other as "guv'nuh," and calling a car hood a "bonnet."

Honestly though I am glad this did not end with somebody getting shot. Hopefully the dozens of incidents just like it that are almost certainly coming in the near future will end in a similar, non-violent, fashion.

Of course that does not serve the purposes of those on the Right Wing fanning the flames of distrust and hatred toward our government who are hell bent on starting a conflict in which some poor bastard is gunned down by federal agents of one kind or another, so that they can be martyred and used to increase the level of anger and vitriol, until the country explodes in a newer, more violent, version of the Civil War.