Southern Baptist Convention leaders know they've lost the culture war on same-sex marriage, but now they're turning their attention inside the church to get congregants to marry younger.
Convention policy expert Andrew Walker said he can't put a hard number on how young Southern Baptists should marry. But he thinks they should be far and away beating the national median age for first-time marriage.
The Southern Baptist Convention used to tell couples to wait until they reach financial stability, said Jon Akin, pastor of Fairview Church in Lebanon. "What we've communicated to our young people is finances are more important than sexual sin, and the Bible seems to say the exact opposite of that."
Now, the denomination is emphasizing practical and theological reasons to marry younger. Marriage helps keep young people from sexual sin in the midst of their sexual maturity, Akin said, and helps them fulfill God's design for men and women as complementary beings.
Akin goes on to say that he is not going to enforce a "hard age ceiling" but he just wants Southern Baptists to get "marryable" sooner.
Whatever in the hell that means.
First let me just say that sex is not a sin.
One more time for those who are a little slow.
Sex is NOT a sin!
And that goes for premarital, post marital, extramarital, gay, furry, BDSM, or any other flavor you might enjoy.
In fact just get rid of that ridiculous "sin" word altogether. It has absolutely no value in conversations among intelligent people.
The only time sex is wrong is if one, or more, participants are too young, too chemically intoxicated, or too intimidated to legally or ethically provide consent.
Having said that this idea of having young people marry before they have come to terms with their sexuality, and have matured as people, is a recipe for future betrayal of their marriage vows and an increased divorced rate.
I'm sorry but these young people are going to be exposed to all kinds of tantalizing temptations as they go out into the world, and if they are unsure of themselves or unsure of their marriage, they are going to succumb to those temptations. Trust me.
This kind of thinking may have worked back in the 19th Century where the church could cloister its congregants from the outside world and shame them into staying married, but this is the 21st Century and those tactics are no longer viable.
Sick, just sick.
ReplyDeleteIn the 1970s I worked with a girl just out of high school who was in a hurry to marry her high school sweetheart because she believed "it's better to marry young than burn in Hell". It's a ridiculous thing they pressure kids to do, take on adult responsibilities too soon.
ReplyDeleteIn the early 1980s, a girl on my college dorm floor was thrown out of her Southern Baptist church. The reason? She'd reached the age of 19 without being married. In their congregation, any "spinster" of 19 was obviously either 1) fornicating, or 2) a lesbian, and in either case, not a Good Example for the Young Ladies of the Church. This girl ended up marrying at 22 and divorcing at 24 because she and her husband were simply too young and inexperienced to make a good marriage to each other.
DeleteNow, up here in the People's Republic of Massachusetts -- as blue a state as you can find -- we have all sorts of "sinners" AND we allow gay marriage AND the whole state is full of freethinkers and atheists and churchgoers and nobody gives a damn what your religion is or isn't.....
ReplyDelete.... we also have the lowest divorce rate in the nation.
Suck on that, Southern Baptists.
Loved your comment - especially after reading this article.
DeletePat Padrnos
". . . the widely respected Barna Research Group has released the results of an in-depth study which found that while 25 percent of American adults have been divorced at least once, the divorce rate is even higher (27 percent) among self-identified "born again" Christians and higher yet (29 percent) among Baptists. While the Barna research did not distinguish among the various types of Baptists (from the more conservative Southern Baptists to the more liberal American or Northern Baptists), clearly, the divorce rate among self-identified Baptists is at least as high, if not higher, than most other religious groups in the nation."
ReplyDeleteThe SBC argues that the truly religious Baptists don't divorce--only those who just claim to be Baptists. How they know who is "truly religious" and who is not is beyond me. They also have claimed that these people got divorced before they were "born again," but that has been debunked. People don't become SBs as they age--they are more likely to leave the church.
The most secular states have the lowest marriage and divorce rates, while the southern states are highest in both. Many contribute the high divorce rate among evangelicals on pressure to do exactly what this guy recommends: get married just to have sex.
Yeah, we just got invited to my husband's religious friends 10th wedding. Hubby asked me if I sent a card and I responded not since the 3rd wedding. I would also like to note this is the same friend of my husbands( I hope I gave a clear definition that he isn't my friend also) that likes to point out we aren't really married since it wasn't sanctified in a church.
DeleteYou just can't make shit like this up.
How on earth is it possible to find 10 different people whom 1) you would want to marry, and 2) who would want to marry YOU???
Delete@anon at 5:15am
DeleteWhy you find them at church don't you know that? :)
You guys should give a decent church a chance. I married an atheist for 12 years. She had been so indoctrinated by extreme feminism she will never be able to have an effective relationship with a man. One month after we were married she quit her job. Her personality changed. She refused to prepare meals or keep the house up because that would be to much like being subordinate to a man. Once the kid came along things got really rough. I was threatened with divorce any time there was a disagreement. Eventually I decided child support was better than misery and went to the court house and filed for divorce. The got a job within the month.
DeleteMy take away is to not marry somebody who is extreme "anything". And don't marry a woman that doesn't love having sex. Many problems can be worked through but not that one.
Try a Methodist, Presbyterian, or Episcapol Church. You get to feed the homeless, support your community, and make friends with show great people. You just have to shop around and find a group that is right for you.
Aaah, Southern Baptists, the start of the KKK, probably worried all those little fainting white girls will get a ride on the big black bullet thus "ruining" them for any puny white dick.
ReplyDeleteCould someone please explain to me what it is about religion and human sexuality. Is it that life on earth is supposed to be miserable and unbearable? I love my life for what it's worth. I.m pretty sure this is all there is and I'm going to make the best of it. Oh yeah, all the rapture believing assholes are idiots.
ReplyDeleteI would like to add: These brainswashed brethren marry young, do not use contraception and Viola! produce child after child after child, thus adding more so-called Christian Warriors to their ranks. That to them is the real reason. The "sin" argument falls under the label of "false flag operation", to use one of their own favorite terms. Revolting!
ReplyDeleteWow. Watch the divorce rate skyrocket in the Southern Baptist Convention, just be a few years now.
ReplyDeleteI'm a retired teacher who worked in a small town in GA, and I can't recall the number of my former students who married young and got divorced a couple years later. Mind you, these kids were members of Baptist churches in the town whose congregants believe that a couple should marry if they have sexual desires for each other and if they conceive while they're dating. Forcing young people to marry simply to avoid "sexual urges" is a terrible idea, imo. Being married is no guarantee that the husband or wife won't stray due to "sexual urges."
ReplyDelete@Maji The more progressive churches that perform same sex marriages still can't touch the issue of premarital sex. Made in Japan ultra thin and non stinky condoms until marriage. Only have sex with somebody that you would consider for marriage. That would be my advice for young people based on experience.
DeleteThe idea being, of course, we need more white folk, and what better way than marrying them off young? Afterall, unmarried white kids can't have children without marriage, so what "age" should we sell, um marry off our young southern baptists into chattel? "Hard Age Ceiling"? Is that when the infant's soft spot solidifies? Or maybe we should let them have childhood first?
ReplyDeleteSorry, it may have worked in the dark ages, but this is so wrong on so many levels. How can a child give consent? What's wrong with going to school, falling in love, following your own heart and happiness?
Hey man, let's just go back to Jerry Lee Lewis days and marry your cousin when she's 14 and "pure" and keep it all in the family! Yay, Jesus!!!
ReplyDeleteOnward christian soldiers....
Sex isn't a sin, correct.
ReplyDeleteBut liberals who lie about certain teens, falsely calling people promiscuous and exaggerating things are more stupid than people calling sex a sin.
Hypocrite. You often calling people promiscuous when they are not remotely slutty. You often lie about teens while letting your friends be playboys..
ReplyDeleteSmall towns and southern towns will always follow their hearts and marry young to start families they've always wanted. Prevents regret from later on.
ReplyDeleteI mean, look at Wasilla, which is identical to most southern towns. All Sunny's friends, ages 18-23, have at least 2 kids. Few are married, some are engaged, some are single.
Bristol's the only one there with ONE kid, who has friends in committed relationships with ZERO kids.
If Sadie were a good person and could keep a boyfriend, SHED have a kid, guaranteed.
People here are seriously disturbed in their hypocrises.
So how does Bristol having friends without children mean anything. Bristol was knocked up at 14, 15, and 18, just because she threw away 2 of those children does not mean she wasn't pregnant. Morals don't rub off on a person just because one of their friends isn't a whore.
DeleteWow, delusional troll--weren't you the one just bragging that Bristol just luuuuuuuvs kids and all her friends have 7 and 8 and 9 kids because Gud KKKristyun Girls do that? Because all the teens in Wasilla are millionairs with homes and jobs and whatnot before they're 20?
DeleteThe trifecta of stupidity, brought you you today, by the Bristol Brigade. The penultimate definition of "hypocrite" is having a child out of wedlock (or bastard) while being THE Advocate for Abstinence (not having sex (ergo no bastard children) before holy matrimony or marriage). How "committed" to the relationship can one be if there's no "commitment" other than friends with benefits? (aka booty calls). "Pause before you play" makes no sense whatsoever. You "play" with toys and "pausing" only fuels the fire further til everyone's private parts are tingling and the guy leaves a crisp ten spot on the night table before leaving.
DeleteI see they're still jealous of Mercede, how sad, but totally understandable.
It doesn't stop these moral Christians from having affairs with other church members. Lot's have 3-4 marriages .I often say I have never met such immoral people in my life,
ReplyDeleteGood response in return of this issue with solid arguments
ReplyDeleteand telling the whole thing concerning that.
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I regularly attend church and feel very strongly about the family ideals and morales they teach. I wouldn't go near a Baptist church though. Those guys are nuts. I think they've had too much moonshine. Don't let them turn you off to Religion. I don't go to church and talk about threesomes either. And my girlfriend is good at picking out drama free unmarried ladies that just want to goof around. I am human also :)
ReplyDelete