Twenty years after his release from prison following rape and fraud allegations, the disgraced pastor is busy selling unique survival kits apparently for the Apocalypse. On his website for his latest TV program, "The Jim Bakker Show," the 74-year-old sells everything from bulk "End of the World Biscuits," "Extreme Survival Bottles" — two for $57 — and extreme cold-weather apparel. The evangelist, who considers himself one of today's experts on the Book of Revelation, appears motivated by the prophetic scriptures in the Bible, which warn of the Rapture — where Christians will be taken by God into heaven — and the second-coming of Christ.
I have to admit that I thought this was a joke, but nope, they are serious.
Others include a mixed array of "End of the World Gravy" and "Kevin's Krazy Lasagna" in large, tightly-packed containers.
"End of the World Gravy?"
Okay look this is America, and people can make a living any way they see fit. But is it really ethical to scare these poor simpletons into believing that some catastrophe is about to occur so that you can profit off their ignorance?
Besides who is going to be here to eat all of these beans?
I thought that during the End Times that all of the "good" Christians were going to be sucked up into Heaven to party with JC while the rest of us fought amongst ourselves for the belongings they left behind?
Boy this takes me back to the televangelist scandals of the 1980's.
Such good times.
"But is it really ethical to scare these poor simpletons into believing that some catastrophe is about to occur so that you can profit off their ignorance?"
ReplyDeleteYa gotta admit, these clowns sure know their demographic!
"I thought that during the End Times that all of the "good" Christians were going to be sucked up into Heaven to party with JC..."
IMO, it's more a case of some of the Faithful being terrified that they're NOT "pure" enough to hang with the J-Man when the big day comes, thus the Xtreme Xtian hysteria. They'll have to bunker down in their panic shelters and consume those End Times Entrees until things settle down, so I'm sure sales will go through the roof.
I have always said that this tele-evangelist model is the next career choice for our dear Sarah. Apart from there being few other choices for her anymore, it is right up her alley and down her block: she has developed the right looks for it, the chutzpah is right, and talk about "knowing the demographic" ! And it seems the money is there, if you don't mind conning simpletons. Which we can see she does not. In fact, it is her best sunject.
DeleteAnon at 5:13 am. All Sarah needs to take her show on the road is a blond wig.
DeleteBeaglemom
"...But is it really ethical to scare these poor simpletons into believing that some catastrophe is about to occur so that you can profit off their ignorance?"
ReplyDeleteOh HELL no!. But then, if it WAS, do you really think these con artists would do it? It is, after all, the entire purpose of religion, right? Control?
Control, yes. Always was, always will be. And the means of obtaining control is by FEAR. The Elmer Gantrys in the old days used the fire and brimstone meme. Today's agents prefer to use Armageddon.
DeleteHow dare Bakker use the word "biscuit" in such a nutzoid manner?!
ReplyDeleteMrs. TBB, I am ever so offended on your behalf. And on behalf of HobNobs, my favorited imported biscu--
DeleteDammit, he has just ruined the word for me now.
Hahahaha! LoL, Ms TBB!
DeletePerhaps he should use the word "wafer".
DeleteOh dear Gawd. Can't you just for one minute stop persecuting Good Christians?! Boy, it's just like in the Bible!
ReplyDeleteThe tag is understood...
DeleteI test Poe's Law to failure.
DeleteJim Baker. Now there's a blast from the past. And not a good one. Such a scammer. Hard to believe that so many would fall for this rupture bullshit. Especially from him. There's a reason why they call them ex-cons.
ReplyDeleteRupture BS works well!
DeleteAmerica.......you're pathetic.....
ReplyDeleteNot much to be proud of, anymore @3:29A. It wasn't always that way. Miss it....
DeletePaul in Indiana
Perhaps Jim Bakker is the grocer for the Glenn Beck planned exclusive pseudo-christiany dominionist community in the works (Gennbeckistani-stan) yammered about a while back?
ReplyDeletedowl
If you eat that crap aloe it will definitely be an apocalypse for your sewer system.
ReplyDeleteROFL.
DeleteAbout 20 years ago, I lived in the same town where Jim Bakker retreated to hide out from all his scandals. I used to bump into him occasionally.
ReplyDeleteI have never in my life met someone who is more obviously a deeply closeted homosexual. I say that not to cast aspersions on the gay community, but to point out that Mr. Bakker is a very, very confused and odd individual. It's so clear when you meet him that he is absolutely nuts, and that if he could simply accept his sexuality and let go of all the wacko ideas that he's absorbed to cover up his own misery, he'd be much happier.
Oh, and he's also a lying sack of shit and basically looks like a tiny little cartoon devil. But that's another matter entirely.
Scary religious beliefs as a financial dodge. Whoever saw this one coming?
ReplyDeleteI watched a Hoarders a couple of years ago where a woman had hoarded two homes because she claimed she was leaving clothes and food for the people who would be "left behind" after the rapture. Of course it never crossed her mind that no one would want her crap clothes and food as rats had pissed and shit on everything and bugs were in the food that hadn't expired or rotted.
As far as Jim goes----grifters gotta grift.
Ugh. I thought this greedy charlatan was dead. Anybody who is fool enough to listen to this warped ex-con's lies pretty much deserves what they get.
ReplyDeletePresumably, he's selling this stuff to us bad people who DON'T get raptured?
ReplyDelete...or is there some sort of food shortage in Heaven that we haven't heard about?
That did make me laugh, Katy Anders!
DeleteAnd here I thought all these beans are to give the raptured an extra "rocket" boost to propel them off the earth - if you get my meaning.
He does have a thing for tarted up blondes, doesn't he? I expect as time goes on, her makeup will morph into the clown face to please his sensibilities.
ReplyDeleteAn observation not from myself, but from my beloved, Mr. Rabinowitz-
ReplyDelete"Jim Bakker is so far in the closet he's crapping mothballs".
And as the poster above pointed out, this is not meant as an offense to gay people. Mr. R and I are very committed to several LGBTQ causes.
It's just meant to point out the sadness of someone who has been running from himself for so, so long. Whether he's gay or not, he's running from self and sanity. Rapture biscuits? Jesus. (No pun intended)
It's long been known about Bakker's gay side. I seem to recall there was a story 30-35 years ago from a man who knew Bakker in college who had been involved in an affair with him. Honestly, that's not much of a surprise; sex scandals have happened with several of these holier-than-thou religious hucksters.
DeleteAs for his infamously makeup-plastered wife, Tammy Faye, she's gone now so enough said about that.
I always felt my gaydar go off the charts when I've seen or heard him speak. Yes, Tammy Faye is gone, but she made peace with the gay community on her reality show and in real life. She remained friends with an actor (who's name escapes me at the moment - think it was JMBullock from "too close for comfort") who contracted aids early on, when people isolated them and evangelical nutjobs called for his stoning. At least SHE tried.
DeleteIf you watch his show, he has two very effeminate fat male sidekicks - one is 24 years old, and the other is about 50.
DeleteThat's right, Gryphen, you go right ahead and mock, but I gotta tell you, those End of the World biscuits are OUT of this world! Moist, nice crumbly texture, not too sweet, a hint of vanilla...mmmmmmmmm, they're so good I could eat one of them!
ReplyDeleteDelicious on their own or with a generous schmear of raw mackerel, cumin seed and feta cheese spread, you can't find a tastier or piousier treat this side of the Pearly Gates! I like to imagine that Pastor Jim fondles every single one before it's shipped off to the hungry faithful and blasphemer alike.
As the package says "There's a Little Bit of Jeebus In Every Bite"
While it's absolutely true that no can predict the exact date of the end of the world, it doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that you're prohibited from making a mighty fine living convincing people it's just around the corner!
Are they gleutin free? Just asking, wouldn't want to spend eternity next to someone constantly farting, just sayin'.
Delete"I thought that during the End Times that all of the "good" Christians were going to be sucked up into Heaven to party with JC"
ReplyDeleteWell, Todd Strandberg agrees with you and has this to say to Mr. Biscuit-Seller:
"If your friend John said he went to his favorite restaurant last night, and another friend Larry said he also went to his favorite restaurant last night, is it logical for you to assume they both went to the same restaurant? "
https://www.raptureready.com/rr-pre-trib-rapture.html
Gryphen, if you zoom in on the painting behind the holy newlyweds, you'll see that JC appears to be squeezing a tube of Propecia baldness remedy over Pastor Jim's faithfully receding hairline.
ReplyDeleteLOL!!!! So there IS hope for Baldy?
DeleteSo, is he basically selling this stuff to people who think they'll be left behind when the rapture comes?
ReplyDeleteBTW, is he still married to Tammy Faye? They are both unrecognizable in that photo.
miaiuppa, she done died and gone to her reward in 2007!
DeleteProbably from makeup poisoning! Either that or she choked to death on one of her fake eyelashes.
My wife and I had the unfortunate luck to be seated directly beside him and a male guest at Red Lobster in Asheville NC several years ago, He was belting out this sob story to this fella about how he was persecuted for his religion blah blah blah, My wife gently placed her hand over mine knowing I was getting ready to say something to him, Just then our waitress walked by and I stopped her, I asked in a rather loud voice " Dear either find us different seating or tell Mr Baker there to shut the fuck up " Baker and his guest made a gesture to the waitess and got up and left, I receieved several smiles and thumbs up from other patrons.
ReplyDeleteand a thumbs up from Beldar, also too
DeleteWhy would any Christian need Jesus Biscuits or water bottles? Aren't they going to Rapture?
ReplyDeleteA perennial favorite, Bakker just about pissing his pants, being led away crying like a little boy. Good times indeed.
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/VeA5ae2hkEo
Didn't anybody tell him with the Palins, Gohmert, Santorum, Huckabee, Fox & Friends and the primetime lineup, Coulter, Linda Harvey, Brian Brown, Tony Perkins, Clint Eastwood talking to chairs, Joe Arpaio, and Bachmann, the nut quotient is more than filled and yesterday's class needn't drag themselves out of retirement.
the return of the slime with a new beard on his elbow. He spent a lot of time in MN when Tammy Faye was alive. what an inglorious POS
ReplyDeleteHis show is on local programming in the Detroit area. I don't think the End Times they are talking about is the rapture. This is bunker food for the revolution because of President Obama.
ReplyDeleteThe show is "hilarious", they sit around a table, rehydrate the crap in the tub and tell everyone how delicious it looks (actually looks like vomit). While savoring their meal, they discuss such topics as "the evils of Obama Care" etc.
Where the folks that buy this crap are suppose to get all the water to rehydrate the food, I don't remember. Maybe they also sell "End of times water. I seems pretty expensive, if I recall, it would be cheaper to stock pile can goods.
OH come on! JIm and Tammy were great entertainment. Especally Tammy, she was truly ahead of her time.
ReplyDeleteBakker isn't SELLING anything. For a charitable DONATION of the exact right size, you can choose the GIFT you prefer (such as a bathtub of beans for 3K).
ReplyDeleteThe donation is probably a tax write-off... and the buyer certainly avoids SALES TAX.
Defrauding the IRS is bad, but only a fool messes with the Board of Equalization. Oh, right. End-timers. The majority of TN taxpayers pay 9.25% sales tax. I doubt if Tennessee will be happy at losing their cut... and his neighbors won't be pleased at having to carry his share.
The fire-retardant suits that he "gifts" people with might survive the flames of hell, but not an audit. Scammers.
But is it really ethical to scare these poor simpletons into believing that some catastrophe is about to occur so that you can profit off their ignorance?
ReplyDeleteThe government does it all the time!
Bakker isn't SELLING anything. For a charitable DONATION of the exact right size, you can choose the GIFT you prefer (such as a sitzbath of beans for 3K).
ReplyDeleteThe donation is probably a tax write-off... and the buyer certainly avoids SALES TAX.
Defrauding the IRS is bad, but only a fool messes with the Board of Equalization. Oh, right. End-timers. The majority of TN taxpayers pay 9.25% sales tax. I doubt if Tennessee will be happy at losing their cut... I noticed all the stuff that was out-of-stock... and his neighbors won't be pleased at having to carry his share.
The survival suits that he "gifts" people with might survive the flames of hell, but not an audit. Scammers.
I dunno, it's hard for me to get too pissed at ole Jim Bakker, even though he's a huckster and dickweed from way back. Anyone who is this transparent a charlatan and carny and can survive on the same con after being ferreted out again and again, well I kinda like that. Fuckin people will buy anything and if you find a way to separate the rubes from their rubles, have at it, hoss.
ReplyDeleteWhat a brilliant money making scheme! Tax free "Get out of hell for eternity" survival buiscuits and cold weather clothing. Who's the hot beard/babe grasping hands ever so tightly with the Right Reverend Jim Bakker? If they don't "move" fast enough, just declare you had a vision and Jesus told you the world would end, ironically, the day before the biscuit's "sell by date".
ReplyDeleteExpect a new line from Sarah Palin. Apocalypse Popsicles, Rapture Chocolate Chip Cookies and "these ta ta's can be used as a floating device" if needed. The Palin Sisters can get you "Rapture ready" with a skin peel, massage and a new hair do!
Oh, lord-excuse the expression. I wonder where he had his wife built. God-sorry-her little twinset, her wiggy fluffy hair. Clasping hands-aren't they just the cutest?! Jim's got a much higher forehead than last time I saw him. And still living off idiots. God bless him.
ReplyDelete